Chapter 5

Diary entry 5

Knock knock, tap tap, tap. I looked at the clock, 9:30 p.m. "Has she come back to apologise? Why didn't she just use her key and walk straight in? Too afraid?" Painfully I stood, picked up her precious tennis racquet and hobbled to the door. "I might not be able to move fast but I'm ready to give the bitch a good hiding. She'll regret what she did to me." Unfortunately the door to our flat doesn't have a spyhole, but I was certain that it was Penny coming back to sweet talk her way out of trouble. Unlatching the lock, I pulled the door open but kept myself standing behind it, with the racquet held high ready to strike. As soon as she entered I struck. Luckily, in the nick of time, I saw it wasn't her and managed to pull back enough so the blow barely touched him.

"Jesus Christ Em!... What happened to you?" When I last looked in the mirror my face was an awful mess; red eyes, running mascara and blotched cheeks. And he hadn't seen the worst part. Tears burst from my eyes again and before I knew what was happening I was gathered into his arms.

I cried on his shoulder for several minutes before asking, "What are you doing here Ben? I thought it was..." As I pulled away, I looked down and remembered that I was only wearing my short nightie. It barely covered my mound and left the greater part of my tits exposed. Had it been anyone but Ben, I would have shoved them out of the door but we shared a number of classes and he always seemed quiet and gentlemanly. He didn't mix with others much and we'd only spoken on coursework matters but I kinda liked him. A boy that appeared trustworthy but yet he never seemed to have a girlfriend. Certainly he wasn't the handsomest boy at Uni but he wasn't the ugliest either and his acne didn't help his appearance although that seemed to be clearing up. When I burst into a further bout of tears he gently hugged me again until slowly the sobs subsided. Without thinking I turned to get another tissue and revealed the state of my bum.

"Jesus Christ Em, who did that to you? Why? They ought to be put in jail! Was it Penny? She seemed upset at the party earlier." I nodded, unwilling to say more. "What have you put on it? Have you taken anything to help relieve the pain?"

"Three aspirins and some salve we had."

"They'll have to do for now, it's too late to get anything else from the chemists and if you had anything stronger you would have taken them. Right? I guess going down the corridor to the shower room is out, but you've your own washbasin and toilet?" Again I nodded, wondering at his practical appraisal of the situation and again asking myself how he came to knock on my door. For some reason I had no fear that he would hurt me but why would he arrive at that time? Did she send him? I didn't know they even spoke to each other and he definitely wasn't in her circle of friends. After a moment's silent thought he went on, "Cold towel compresses should help. I don't suppose you have any frozen peas or anything in your fridge?" We didn't. "Okay, let me help you to lie on the bed and then I'll wet some towels to put on your bum."

One part of me wanted to be left alone; another part needed the attention and comfort he was providing and if he could relieve some of the pain that would be a bonus. For a while he sat quietly alongside my bed holding my hand like we'd been together for ages. Both of us were thinking and wanting to ask questions but not daring to. Eventually I broke the silence. "How come you arrived at my door? Did she send you to look after me? It seems a strange coincidence."

"No. It's a convoluted story though. Penny was to sleep over at Moira's and the two of them turned up to Pete's party together. Pete's my roommate and although we get on fairly well, I'm not really into booze and parties like he is. Nor do I score with girls like him. I guess I'm too shy to ask girls for a date and the spots on my face and my crooked nose puts them off too." I hadn't really noticed his nose before and had to look closely to see what he meant. I guess someone had commented on it and his mind exaggerated the small defect. "When he's fixed me up with a girl, we never seemed to have anything in common and the date kinda fizzles out. He was without a girl this weekend so when Moira came he was hoping to score with her. However, he made the mistake of inviting Roger, Moira's on and off boyfriend and they decided it was an 'on time' and she wanted to take him back to her place. Pete turned his attention to Penny who now didn't want to stay with Moira if Roger was there. She'd been knocking back the beers so she was pretty tiddly even that early in the evening, probably trying to blot out what she did to you. Pete quietly suggested that I should sleep in Penny's bed, because she didn't want to bring him here. I can see why now. I don't think she knows of the arrangement and thinks I'm just hanging out somewhere. So that's how I came knocking on your door. I was quite prepared to be thrown out but didn't expect anything like this. Do you want to tell me your story?"

"Maybe later, not now; it's too painful to even think about."

He changed the towels regularly and we chatted, mainly about classes, until the clock struck eleven. By then we were both pretty weary and he suggested that I should try to sleep. "Em, I hope you won't take this the wrong way but I think it would be a good idea if I slept alongside you. That way I can keep some of the weight of the blankets from your bottom. I promise I won't interfere with you. I promise. Scouts honour." He sounded sincere but I was a little shocked at the suggestion. It wasn't like I hadn't slept with a boy before but after all the trauma and being in a lesbian relationship with Penny for some months, I wasn't at all sure I wanted a man in bed with me. Still it felt nice to have his strong arms around me when he helped me into the bathroom to do my teeth and stuff. The wet towels had eased the soreness but I was still in considerable pain and took another couple of aspirins.

While I was standing at the loo peeing, the phone rang and when Ben asked if he should answer it, I agreed. "Oh Hi Penny... Yes, it is me, Ben... Sorry it's difficult to make out what you're saying. No, she can't come to the phone at the moment; she's rather indisposed as I think you know. If she's no better in the morning, I may have to take her to the hospital... No, it will not be a good idea for you to come back. Concentrate on giving Pete a good time... If you try to get in, I will call the police and they can take it from there... A joke that went wrong? Some joke! That was grievous bodily harm. Now get off the line and stay with Pete, you sound as if you are too drunk to walk here on your own anyway." I could hear the anger in his voice as he spoke and wondered what he would really do if Penny did come back here. He disconnected the phone from the wall. "That'll give her something to worry about if she doesn't fall asleep from the booze and Pete's attentions. I could tell he was pawing her while she spoke." For the first time in some hours, I smiled.

Ben was as good as his word. He slept chastely alongside me with one arm across my shoulders. I knew he had an erection concealed in his underpants but both of us tried to ignore it. I only slept fitfully and twice in the night he put more cream on my blisters but at least I felt safe, secure and protected.

I waited to hear Ben's special knock. He'd left soon after eight to get a few things from his room, then go to the chemist's as soon as they opened and on the way back he said he'd pick up a couple of burgers from McDonald's. Not the ideal breakfast but it would save walking to the cafeteria. During the time he was away, I'd managed to get a pair of sweat pants on but now lay face down on the bed again wondering what would happen if Penny came by and what I would do when we actually met face-to-face again. I knew I could never go back to having a loving lesbian relationship with her again. I knew we'd have to meet and that we'd probably have to live together at least for a while. All her stuff was here, including the books she'd need on Monday and the assignment she'd been set which was due in then. Some of the anger I felt earlier had dissipated and I no longer felt the need to thrash her for revenge but the feelings I'd had for her were gone. Gone, more because of the planned deception than for the beating itself.

My mind reviewed the erotic story in the light of my beating. It had surely been far less of an ordeal than the fictional Emily's and I'd had the benefits of aspirins and salve and someone to take care of me, whereas she had to go from one ordeal to the next with a couple of rapes thrown in for good measure. Would a girl in her time, even a work toughened farm girl, be able to withstand being thrashed on the arse twice in one day and additionally having her tits flogged, still be able to walk and perform her duties? I didn't know the answer but decided to carry on with the pretence that she could but would find it very difficult. That is if I ever got back to writing it. I knew I would, the characters were almost real to me and I wanted to tell their story; a story I already had in outline form in my mind. So different from the detailed planned outlines my tutor made us do. With this story I could go in any direction as fancy took me.

Knock knock, tap tap, tap. Ben returned with a holdall of his stuff and a paper sack with the food. "Was she still with Pete?" I asked between mouthfuls.

"Yes, and suffering from a huge hangover. Pete just seems to think that you two had a God Almighty row so I didn't enlighten him and he left to go to the cafeteria. While I sorted my stuff to bring here, she asked how you were and I could see she was worried that I might take you to the hospital but maybe she guessed we would have already left if that had been the case. I was non-committal and said that you were as well as could be expected in the circumstances. Then she asked about coming back and I suggested she keep away until Monday at the earliest. I don't think she enjoyed herself too much with Pete and wasn't relishing another two nights with him but I thought it would do her good not to get her own way for once and give you a bit of peace. In any case you said she'd packed enough stuff for the weekend."

"And you wanted to spend another couple of nights with me?"

"That too," he grinned, "I've never met a girl I could talk to like I do you. Certainly I've never slept alongside one."

"Perhaps I won't need your protection tonight," I teased but when his face showed its disappointment I went on, "But I may need other forms of comfort. Did she say what happened?"

"No, when I asked she muttered something about realism and the erotic story competition. Are you entering it? And what has that to do with her thrashing you?"

For a long while I sat quietly munching my burger, picking at the fries, and debating within my mind whether or not to tell him. I could trust him, of that I was certain, and in the short time we'd spent together, I'd begun to like him more than just as a friend but did I want it to go further? I sensed that he did. "Ben," I started hesitantly, "I know I can trust you to keep it to yourself and I'm fairly sure Penny will not mention it for her own safety, but it won't be long before people start to notice the way I walk and I can't wait until the bruises disappear before I have a shower so I'd better tell you so you don't get a distorted version or get accused of causing them. To everyone else we'll just say that it was a Penny mistress/slave joke that got out of hand, like I guess, she hinted at last night. She's bossy enough so perhaps people will believe it."