Chapter 7: The King's gift

On that high pinnacle of rock, in the midst of a fresh snowfall from the avalanche, and surrounded by the majesty of the mountains and the wreckage of the enemy army, I sat on Scar's lap, and we kissed. This hard soldier, with his scarred face and his wild hair, he was mine, and it was an amazing feeling. We buried ourselves in that kiss, it was as if we were trying to consume each other. I knew that I had found the love of my life. His inner strength, his patience, his kindness, his humility and his willingness to sacrifice himself for what he believed in: all these things combined to make him my man, the only one I would ever have. I shared my feelings with him, and found that, now we had broken the barrier between us, I could feel his feelings too, and this increased the intensity of our kiss. I had kissed many men, and kissed most of the squad men many times; I had even kissed Scar many times, but I had never experienced anything like this.

I knew that it was my feelings for Scar that had driven that amazing power I used to cause the avalanche. Later, I'd find out that what I had done was considered impossible, just like I considered that what Scar had done to reach me was impossible.

It was there, on that spot, as I sat on his lap, that we took our vows. We vowed that we would love only each other for the rest of our lives, that we would share our lives from this moment forth. For the first time in my life, when I looked into the future, I saw no reason to fear at all. How much I looked forward to the future now, to share my life with Scar.

But we couldn't stay in that spot. Scar was hurt, bleeding a little, and so were the others who had survived. We had to put aside our pleasure, and go help them. I was so sad when we joined them down on the pass, there was so many missing. We had lost six men, including Crunch, and Sock — I had seen both of them die — and also Tin Man and Digger, who had both been alive when I made the avalanche. All the dogs that had come to the battle with us had died as well.

I patched the squad up, there were no serious injuries, though several of them could be life threatening if they got infected, I'd have to stay on top of them. While I had been working on the worse injuries, the ones with only scratches had gone along the top of the pass and thrown every body that they could find down into the valley.

Finally, we gathered together where the trail crossed the pass to rest before we made our way back to our camp. The captain asked me to scan the valley for survivors. I could feel a few of the enemy running in total terror down the valley away from us, but that was all I could find. We had completely destroyed them. Scar led us in the traditional chorus of cheers that were due to a victorious commander. The golden boy had struck again. When our cheers had died down, he spoke to us again. He simply thanked each of us by name for what we had done. He thanked all the squad, and finally he got to me. He thanked me, but then he hesitated, and asked me about the avalanche, whether it was me that made it happen. I nodded. I could see that no one was surprised.

That night we rested at the camp. The three horses we had carried Digger, Tin Man and Wag, and Gong carried Sock all by himself. All of us were exhausted by the time we arrived at the camp, and for the first time, no one cooked, we simply ate the stored food as it was. I rested in Scar's arms. I had been hesitant about showing our love in front of the others, but Scar had insisted. He said that they all knew already anyway.

We stayed awake after all the others had gone to sleep, talking and kissing, and we made a decision. We talked about whether I would continue to share my body with the others. On the one hand, I obviously wouldn't do this anymore, now that we had sworn our vows. But on the other hand, I made a promise, that I would sleep with the squad for the whole six months. In my seedie haze I had thought of breaking that vow, but not now. If I didn't keep my promises, I would have no backbone. Yet I remembered the look on Scar's face when Captain Oltan had come. I didn't know what to do, and I laid my problem out as I lay in his arms, with my head on his chest.

He lifted my chin and looked in face. "Of course you should keep your promises", he told me. I told him how hurt I'd been when that captain had come, that I'd do anything rather than have Scar upset with me like that. He looked surprised. He was actually upset that he hadn't got the opportunity to explain how things were to the captain, to ask him to be gentle with me. He knew what I would do. My commitment to the cause and my promise, and how desirable I was were part of why he'd fallen in love with me, and made what happened with that captain inevitable. He told me that while I was here I should keep to my promise, but that after we left here, then I was his alone. I promised, and I looked forward to it.

He told me that as far as the squad was concerned, I was the best they'd ever had, way better, every time. And I had chosen Scar, he was thrilled, when he never expected to catch any girls' eye after what had happened to him, let alone the best there ever was. Surely I wasn't the best there ever was, but I spent a long time kissing him anyway. We snuck away from the camp, and down by the river, in the cold dark night, we cemented our vows with some rather wild sex. For the first time in a long time, I felt free to make as much noise as I liked. Afterwards, and then afterwards again — we were still high on our victory - I held him tight, and knew that I had found the man I would love forever.

The next day we laid our dead comrades in a grave that we dug beside Clonk, and then we built another cairn for them. We told each other mostly true stories of the heroic acts that they had done in their lives, and the captain led the final dirge in their lament.

We rested after this, and ran light patrols through the mountains, but there was nothing on the mountain now. The men believed that the main way through the mountains was closed forever; with that many dead, no one would ever try to go there again. The way of the dead.

I resumed my normal duties. They men were a bit subdued with me, they weren't sure where they stood now Scar and I had sorted ourselves out. But once it became clear that Scar didn't mind, things went back to normal and I had my harem again, though smaller than it was. But I didn't kiss any of them again.

Two weeks after the battle, Whistle came back with a new order: we were to report to the Tower of Obost at dawn in eight days time. The squad burst into shouts of joy at this. I looked to Scar for an explanation. Being summoned to the Tower of Obost not only meant that we were being called off the mountains, it was a tradition that from there you would be escorted on a victory parade through the city by the King's guard, and thence to a public audience with the King himself. And our families would be there to witness it. Not that Scar had any, but most of the men did.

The men wanted to know whether this was really good, how could they have found out already and organised everything. The captain told them they should've figured out by now that both we and the enemies had active and efficient spy services that used magical communications, so there had been plenty of time for them to find out from our spies what had happened even if they didn't believe the captains report.

I asked the captain when we would leave. He said that if we left at dawn the next day we would make it. Then I asked him about my status. He smiled and said that I had given far beyond my calling and my choice, and I could consider my service complete anytime I wanted. I counted quickly, it would be a week over five months on the day we met the King.

I wanted one last time to say a proper good bye to each of the men, so I proposed to the captain that we stay an extra two days at the camp, so I could give each of them one last go, and that we rode harder on the road. The captain looked around the squad to see whether they were prepared to ride harder, and their eye's said it all — they'd ride to hell for one last time with me. Anyway, we really needed the time to get ready to leave.

I was tired and sore by mid afternoon on the second day. I had seen all of them but the Captain and Scar, and each of them had wanted something special "to remember me by." I hadn't expected any less, and honestly, I had enjoyed every minute of it as well. None of them were Scar, but each of them was special, and I gave them exactly what I'd learnt that they wanted. And I sorted out with each of them what story I would give their families if it came up. Finally, after we dressed, I sat in their laps and kissed them, thanking them for looking after me so well.

The captain was my second last. I looked at him, and thought of how I'd admired his power when I first undressed him. I knew him so much better, and now, although I certainly had much stronger magic than him, I understood the depths of his fire and his self discipline. The captain was a great man, who would go on to achieve much in this life. I wasn't fooled by the growth of my own magic. It might appear powerful, but the only really powerful thing I had done, starting the avalanche, although it had been astounding, had arisen out of complete desperation. I was still honoured to call the captain my master. In all the time on the mountain in the winter, he had never taken me again since that first time, presumably as a mark of respect for Holly. Well, I understood that, but today, we were going out with a bang, and I was going to be taken by him.

He tried to resist, but he never had a chance. When I turned my focus to seducing him, given how well I knew him, and how I could sense his feelings, he was powerless to resist. And I guess that was why I wanted him. But he was good, he gave back as good as I gave him, and once again I found myself resting in his arms, full of emotion. Then I sat up next to him, rested my hand on his chest, and said "You know that you are still my master."

"Oh no", he said, "not any more. I remember giving you a challenge to show that you had the backbone to find what you deserve. Not any more. You have the strength to be anything you want now. I only hope that you continue in the path you've laid for yourself, and look after Scar for me, he is my best friend."

I thought about that. I could see that this was true. "Perhaps this is true, but the law still counts you as my Master. And so do I, I think perhaps forever, you are a great man."

"I am honoured indeed. And we will sort out the law when we see the King. I will be happy simply to count you as a friend." And so there, still naked, we promised to each other that we would always be friends, and that we would help each other stay true to the people and the land.

I kissed him good bye with a tinge of regret. He was a great man, and Holly was very lucky. But the regret passed quickly as I realised that I was finally free. Free to give everything I had to the love of my life. After a short rest and a bit of packing, I called him in, and we made the camp ring. I wasn't ashamed, I wanted them all to know that Scar was the man I wanted.

As we rode out of the mountains and I started recognising landmarks from the trip in, I thought about how much I had changed in those few months on the Dragon's Backbone. I had been a dazed and weak girl, a seedie whore with no friends, no future; no redeeming qualities at all, in fact. Coming back I was finally a grown woman, desirable, with great power, love, happiness, and a future. How much I had changed, and I knew that though it had taken three men to ruin my life in the first place, it was almost entirely the work of only two men to build me a new life, a much better one. The Captain, and Scar. It made me happy to know that giving my life to Scar also meant that I would continue to be around the Captain. I thought of what the Captain had said about riding and steering my emotions like a horse, and how much my love for Scar filled me up now that I had allowed it to be released. I think I finally understood what he had meant.

I was in a bit of a quandary about my future. Up till the last few weeks, all I had ever considered was that somehow I would like to go to healer's school, but now that would take me apart from Scar for a few years, so I really didn't want it anymore. Scar thought I still should go there, he would still see me often, and it would be worth it. I didn't know what to do, but it would take a strong force to separate me from Scar now.