Chapter 33

Supper that night, at the Wilson house, was quiet. All three children had a lot of homework to do. Bernadette and Hilda Mae were quiet for other reasons, though. Both of them knew that disaster had very nearly struck, and it had sobered them. Bernadette, naturally, blamed it on a man ... Nathan to be specific. If he would only have done as she asked, she was quite sure that her curiosity about having a penis in her would have been assuaged, and that she wouldn’t think about it so much when she was with Curtis Lee. It had eaten at her for weeks now, and she was getting no closer to her goal. Nathan didn’t even seem to be interested in being sucked any more. At supper, looking at him, sitting there eating like nothing was wrong in the whole, wide world, she decided to take action.

She did her homework, and went to bed. She waited until all the lights had been off for forty-five minutes by the clock on her night stand. She spent those forty-five minutes stretching her pussy with three fingers. She wouldn’t let herself have an orgasm, but she shoved her fingers in until it hurt. At the end of the forty-five minutes she got up and snuck to Nathan’s room. He was sleeping, but she could see him because of the moonlight coming through the window. She wondered idly if it was a full moon. She paid more attention to things like that nowadays. He looked just as handsome as he always had, lying there with only his pajama bottoms on.

She leaned over him and woke him with a warm, lip-rubbing kiss. He kissed her back, and then whispered “What are you doing?”

Her hand went to his pajama bottoms. “I miss you. What do you think I’m doing?” she whispered back.

“Mom heard me come in that night I was at Flossie’s,” he whispered in her ear. “She might hear us too.”

“Then don’t make any noise while I get me a drink.” She kissed him again.

She pulled him out of bed, which he didn’t think about, and put him on the floor which, to be honest, he thought was her attempt not to make any bed springs squeak. He was right about that, but not in the way he thought of it. She pulled his pajama bottoms down, uncovering the penis she craved so much. It had been a while since she had had it in her hand, and she had doubts as she realized how much bigger around it was than Curtis Lee’s. She pushed her fear away and crawled closer, between his legs.

She had planned this carefully. She started by sucking him, and then kissing her way up to his mouth, and then back down. She did that again, so that he would get used to the idea that she might stop sucking him and move in the darkness. On the third time, as she kissed up his chest, she swung one naked leg over, moving into a squat and, after kissing his lips, grasped his penis in her hand, notched it in her pussy mouth, and sat down hard.

She almost screamed, and only because she bit her hand did she avoid it. The pain was both unexpected, and intense. Curtis Lee had caused a little pain, and a little pressure. Nathan was splitting her apart. It never occured to her that the minimal looking difference in thickness between the two of them could feel so completely different. Of course Nathan was in her much deeper than Curtis Lee had gone in, but she hadn’t thought about that either.

She tried to feel her thigh muscles, telling them to stand her back up, but she couldn’t feel anything but the pain. Nathan, finally realizing what she had done, reached for her and pulled her down to him. With his hands under her arms, he pulled her toward his face, hissing at her. The relief she felt as he pulled her off his penis was almost orgasmic. Suddenly she only felt a dull ache, as her body parts began to come back to their original configuration.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” he hissed.

“I didn’t know it would hurt so much,” she whimpered.

“Are you crazy?“ he rasped, his mouth right in her ear.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, tears dropping on his neck. “Curtis Lee’s went in me a little today, and you were supposed to be first, and I got mad at you and...”

His hand covered her mouth.

“It went in you?!” he hissed. She tried to talk, but couldn’t because of his hand. He moved it.

“It was an accident,” she whined softly. “It didn’t go all the way in, not like yours just did. His didn’t hurt like that. I thought it would be okay ... I’d feel you in me, and then get off and it would be okay.”

He hugged her to his chest, and she got her crying under control. He kissed her forehead and cheeks, and she sought his lips. After a long warm kiss she spoke softly into his mouth.

“You hurt me!” she whispered.

“You hurt yourself,” he said back.

“It wasn’t supposed to hurt,” she complained.

“You went too fast,” he said. “It will always hurt if you just jamb it in you.”

“Oh,” She kissed him again. “I’m going back to bed now.”

“What about me?” he asked. “I’m still hard.”

She scrambled down and finished him off with her usual energetic mouth action, getting her drink in less than a minute. Then she pinched his leg hard and scooted back away, to sneak out of his door before he could catch her.

School the next day was a repeat of that first ironic day after Flossie recovered from Harvey’s beating, and started teaching again. On that day the kids all knew what Nathan and Flossie did together, but she didn’t know that. This time, Flossie knew what all the kids did together, but they were unaware of her knowledge. They were surprised, therefore, when she announced there would be another session of health class that afternoon.

They sat curiously, thinking they knew everything they needed to know about sex, which is what they knew “health” class was really about.

“There are two areas of sexual education that I may not have addressed properly,” she said, to start the session. “The first is about the urges you may feel to engage in sexual activity. I know,” she said, playing her part, “that you have all felt the urge to touch yourselves. But there may be urges to explore beyond just your own body.”

Bernadette couldn’t suppress a snort, and Flossie looked at her. “Do you have something to add, Bernadette?”

“Um ... no ma’am,” said Bernadette, the others looking at her interestedly. All of them knew she was the most hot-blooded among them.

Flossie didn’t push it. Nathan raised an eyebrow at her, but she ignored him. “Now, it is important for you to know that you must resist those urges. And there are things you can do that will help you with this.”

“Like what?” asked Moses. He had worried long into the night that his partial penetration of Hilda Mae had ruined everything. He hadn’t meant to do that, but, once his penis was inside her, the urge to slam it forward as far into her as he could had gripped him with ferocious strength. Only because he knew that would ruin everything had he been able to jerk his prick out of her warm, clasping sheath.

“Well, for one thing, you should try to think of something else,” said Flossie, quoting the literature she had seen in college.

She was faced with eight youths, their mouths hanging open in disbelief. Jesse said it for them all. “That doesn’t work!” he said, almost indignantly.

Flossie slumped. The information she had seen had recommended telling children to concentrate on sports, or art, or music to take their minds off sex. There had even been a suggestion that they be told to carry a little binder with them, so that they could write poetry whenever they felt “inappropriate urges”. While she hadn’t realized it then, she now knew that was ridiculous. Still, it was all she had. She couldn’t even control her own urges when she was with Nathan alone.

“Alone” she thought. That was the key.

“Well, then, you must always make sure you aren’t alone with someone you’re tempted to be sexual with,” she said. “If there is always someone else around, then you won’t be able to do too much, or go too far.”

Luthor was the one who stuck a pin in that balloon.

“Huh?” he asked, looking confused.

“You can’t do anything if there’s someone else around,” repeated Flossie.

“Huh?” he asked again, clearly trying to resolve what she had said with his own experience.

Hilda Mae raised her hand. “I think he means that doesn’t work either.”

Flossie didn’t know what to do. She did know that, if she didn’t do something, bellies would swell and everything would be lost.

“Look,” she said heavily. “If you all keep playing sexually, you’re going to eventually end up having sex, and somebody’s going to get pregnant. Okay? That’s the situation. If any of you girls get pregnant, it will be more horrible than you can even imagine!” Her frustration caused her to speak freely, and she looked at Bernadette.

“Bernadette, you like Curtis Lee, right?”

Bernadette shrank back in her chair. This was dangerous territory.

“I guess he’s okay,” she said carefully.

“What do you think your father would do to Curtis Lee if he got you pregnant?”

The look of horror on Bernadette’s face was associated with the answer to the question, and not the suggestion that she might lie with a Negro. That was made clear by the look she sent Curtis Lee’s way.

“You don’t have to answer that,” said Flossie. “But we all know what would happen. That would ruin your life, because you love him, and it would ruin his life, because they would kill him. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not!“ wailed Bernadette, never denying that she loved him.

She turned to Johnnie Sue. “What happened to your cousin, Julia when she got pregnant and wasn’t married?”

“They sent her away,” said Johnnie Sue, looking stricken.

“And did she ever get to see the boy who made her pregnant again?”

“He was sent away too,” she said, wide-eyed.

“And what happened to the baby they made?”

“They gave it away to somebody else,” whined Johnnie Sue.

“Is that what you want to happen to you?”

“Noooo,” wailed the girl, starting to cry.

“Then you have to resist the temptation to do what you’ve been doing!”

Seven sets of eyes slowly went to Nathan.

“You told her!” hissed Hilda Mae.

“I saw you!” said Flossie, coming to her lover’s defense.

Seven sets of eyes swung back to her, stunned.

“I was taking Nathan fishing one day when we saw Johnnie Sue ... servicing Jesse and Luthor.”

The two boys’ eyes opened wide, while Johnnie Sue moaned and covered her face with both hands.

“When did you see me and Hildy?” asked Moses, his face gray.

“I didn’t, but now I don’t have to, do I?” asked Flossie, glaring at him. Hilda Mae elbowed him hard, and looked down.

“But it’s not fair!“ yelled Bernadette, almost standing up. “What about you and Nathan!”

Now it was Flossie who was stunned. Her brain gently reminded her that Marian had seen it. You couldn’t keep that kind of emotion secret, really. Not if anyone was looking for it. And now she was stuck. She couldn’t tell them she was going to marry Nathan. She had already said they were to resist until marriage. Besides, if they knew, word would leak out somehow, and that would ruin everything. She suddenly realized she had never asked Nathan what the other children knew about them. She had to try denial.

“What are you talking about?” Flossie asked, trying to sound dignified.

Bernadette boiled over. First, Nathan had put his penis in Flossie, before he put it in her. Then the accident had happened, and another man’s penis went in her before Nathan’s. Then, when Nathan’s did go in her, it had hurt like fire! Her whole dream of being deflowered by the brother she loved so intensely had gone all wrong, and she blamed Flossie for it.

“We saw you through the window, having sex with him!” she growled. “And now you tell us we can’t do that! It’s ... not... fair!“ she screamed the last word and stood up.

The bottom dropped out for Flossie. She was embarrassed and ashamed. The fact that she was ten years older than the girl didn’t help, because Nathan was only one year older. She felt like a hypocrite. She was a hypocrite!

Nathan looked at his sister.

“Sit down, Bernie,” he said.

She looked at him in rage and took a breath to scream at him.

He stood up. “Sit down, Bernie!“ he thundered.

She sat so hard it hurt her butt.

“Do you want Curtis Lee to get you pregnant?” he asked.

She glared at him. He turned to Hilda Mae.

“Do you want Moses to get you pregnant?”

“Of course not,” she said steadily. “I’m only sixteen.”

He turned back to Bernadette.

“Do you want to marry Curtis Lee?”

Bernadette’s eyes took on a hunted look. She glanced at Curtis Lee, who was looking at her interestedly. She remembered how forceful he had been about keeping the agreement.

“I can’t,” she said, hedging. “I’m only seventeen.”

“Do you want to marry him?” Nathan raised his voice. “Do you want to have his babies, and raise them and live with him your whole life?”

She opened and closed her mouth twice.

“Because I want to marry Flossie. I want her to have my babies. I can’t wait to live with her, and I can’t imagine living with any other woman like that.”

They stared at him as he left his desk and paced.

“And I know what you’re feeling, because we can’t control it either!” He faced them. “If I get Flossie pregnant, she can leave here. She’s a woman ... an adult. I’m going to have a job in Kansas City, if all goes well, and we can still be together there. Curtis Lee is leaving with me. But you can’t leave yet, Bernie.” He looked at Hilda Mae and Johnnie Sue. “You two can’t leave yet either. And if you get pregnant before you can leave, you’ll never see them again. Is that what you want?”

“No!” came three female voices in tandem.

“Do you want to marry Luthor or Jesse?” he asked Johnnie Sue suddenly.

“I want to marry them both,” she moaned.

Flossie looked up, horrified.

“Then ... don’t ... get ... pregnant.” Nathan said in a slow, measured tone.

Bernadette looked at Curtis Lee. His eyes were subdued. He looked disappointed.