Chapter 70

We got to the car and Jack stopped up short. "Did you leave anything inside the car? " he asked.

"I don't think so," I said. "Why?"

"It looks like someone's been inside it." He walked around the car, checking doors. "They're all locked. But Laurie's seat and her DVD were in there when we got here and they're gone now."

"Wait a minute." I got out my phone and pressed 6 to call Daddy. He answered after the first ring.

"We're ready to leave for home. You wouldn't happen to know who broke into Jack's car, would you?"

"Technically, it's June's car and as the registered owner, it's not breaking in when she uses her key."

"Thank you Daddy. Any idea when I'll see you?"

"Shortly after you get out of the car. I'm about five minutes away from your place."

"Well, don't cry if I'm not there. I told you I'd call."

"I won't. You aren't the only person I know who lives over there, you know. I'll be in the house talking with Jack's mother."

I disconnected and looked over the top of the car. "Your mother. Evidently she still has a key."

"I don't know why she had to get in."

"What was taken?"

"Laurie's seat and her DVD."

"And where is Laurie?"

"Oh. With your father."

"Can we get in the car now? I'm freezing my butt off in these shorts."

"Sorry."

He ran around to me and unlocked my door, holding it open for me to get in.

"Thank you, Sir," I said when he got in.

"You're welcome, Ma'am," he answered, starting the car and turning on the heater.

"How do you like your new phone?"

"It's OK."

"You Goof. I saw you calling what's-er-name. You were having a good old time. I remember when we moved into the apartment and you were all weird about having to answer a phone. Next thing you know, you'll be a regular Paris Hilton, texting everyone you know while you're supposed to be driving."

"I don't think that's going to happen. How do you type on this thing, anyway?"

"Well, you keep pressing until you get what you want. For example, the number 2 has A, B and C on it. Press once for A, twice for B, three times for C. Very simple."

"You mean I have to do that for every letter? What happens if I screw up? Do I have to start all over again?"

"Yes you have to do it for each letter and no, you can erase the part you screwed up and redo it. It can't be too complicated — they designed text messaging for people who don't have anything better to do and have an IQ of about 70."

"I think I'll just dial the phone and talk to whoever answers."

"That sounds like you, Jack. Don't forget to record a greeting on your voice mail."

"How do I do that?"

"Just call voice mail. I'm sure they'll tell you what to do."

"I remember the good old days when we'd just light a fire in the back yard and wave a blanket over it."

"That was before my time, Old Man. By the way, what were you and Beth really talking about?"

"I told you. There were some other things but I found that to be the most interesting."

"You would. What else?"

"She said she was going to miss you. That even though you could be a real smartass, she still appreciates all you've done for the team."

"She didn't really say that."

"No, you're right. She didn't use the word 'real'. The rest is true, though."

"There's something else. I already knew how she felt about me and I was there when she was drooling over Daddy. You two stopped too quick for it to be either one of those."

"Yes, we certainly did. Boy, I can hardly believe it. Now that you're going to karate during the week and you guys aren't in the playoffs anymore, I'll be able to sleep in on Saturdays. I can hardly wait for next week to be here. What am I talking about? Next weekend's a four day weekend. Four days in a row I can waste half my day in bed."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Not right now."

"Jack, that's not fair. You just got finished telling me you'd always tell me the truth if I asked you something and now you're hiding things from me."

"I already told you most of what we talked about. There's just this one little part that you don't really want to know about yet. Trust me. I'm doing it for your own good."

"My own good. My own good. That's what Daddy said when he rubbed my knees raw with alcohol and then sprayed that stuff all over them."

"Jill, you know that's not going to fly. I was listening to what he said and he never said anything about your own good. I was also watching and you sat there the whole time and didn't even flinch. So don't tell me he rubbed you raw."

"I still say it's not fair."

"God. You are sooo spoiled. No wonder your father threw you out of the house."

"He did not. I have a good mind to move back in with him. At least he's not mean like you are."

"And I have a good mind to put you over my knee," he mumbled.

"What's that?"

"Nothing. We're home."

He pulled into the driveway and got out. I just sat there with my arms folded. He came around to my side and opened the door.

"Come on. Let's go see what your father wants."

I slid out and tried to stare him down but he turned away from me and headed towards the house.

He opened the kitchen door and I could smell the lamb roasting in the oven. He squatted down and a second later Laurie jumped at him, her arms reaching around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. He stood up, one arm under her butt and the other behind her back.

"Your sister's being mean to me. Maybe you should spank her."

"OK!"

He let her down and the little brat came after me, trying to spank my butt. I had to keep my hand over it so she couldn't hit me.

Daddy was sitting at the table with Mom. Jack walked over to him.

"John, your daughter's gotten tired of my lying and my evil ways. I think she wants to move back in with you."

"I just threw out one pain in the ass. I sure don't need another one. Find something else to do with her or smack her around a bit. What's your problem anyway, Jillian?"

"He won't tell me what he and Beth were talking about."

"Beth? Who's that?"

"You know. My coach. The one you were teasing today."

"Oh. Probably something about me."

"I already know that. She wants your children. No, they were talking about something else and they're both hiding it from me."

"Maybe she wants his children, too."

"I don't think so. She's just interested in fooling around with him as far as I know."

Jack would have spit his coffee out if he had any. "When did she say that?"

"Earlier, after Daddy worked on me. She said she wouldn't mind a roll in the hay with you."

Daddy said, "If Jill's taking off, maybe you should take her up on it."

I slapped him on the arm. "Daddy! That's not funny."

He said, "Jack, you know she's not going to give up. You might as well tell her whatever it is and spoil it for her later. She's not going to be happy until she's ruined whatever it is."

"It would serve her right but I can't. I promised Beth I wouldn't tell her until it was done and I haven't had a chance to do it yet. Who knows when she'll leave me alone long enough to do it."

"You can always go over to my house and do it if you want. She can't drive and I'll stay here and make sure nobody else takes her."

"No, that's OK. It doesn't bother me if she has to wait."

I stomped my foot on the ground. "Hey! Don't you two know it's rude to talk about someone while they're in the room? I swear, I don't know how I ever put up with either of you. You seem to be having a good old time, putting me through hell, just like my birthday," I said, pointing at Jack.

Mom said to me. "And that turned out positively terrible, didn't it?"

"No," I mumbled.

"I couldn't quite hear you, Jill," Jack said. "How terrible was it when I planned something to surprise you and kept you from finding out about it until it actually happened?"

Mom grabbed my wrist. "You know, Jill, I'm sure there are plenty of things you could chew Jack out about. Don't come down on him when he's so obviously doing something for you. If you do, he's going to stop doing them. Is that what you really want?"

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Provisionally."

"Provisionally? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you have to behave until whatever it is happens."

"I still don't think it's fair."

"Heh, heh."

I felt something on my butt as Laurie slapped me. Spinning around, I grabbed the giggling three year old and tickled under her arms until she cried out for me to stop.

Jack said, "Well, I'm going to go up to the apartment and see if there's any of it left after leaving those two crazy dogs alone in it."

"I wanna go," cried Laurie, running out the door after him.

"Would you like to come up to my place and talk?" I said. "I've got a new coffeemaker that grinds the beans and brews them. The coffee's fantastic."

Mom said, "I never turn down a cup of coffee. How about you, John?"

"That's why I came over here in the first place," he said as he stood up.

Jack and Laurie were at the bottom of the stairs when we came out. Laurie was just putting Posie down on the ground. I could just see Bozo in the back yard. Posie started to run towards us but changed her mind and spun around, heading for the grass under the stairs. By the time she was done, Laurie and I were over near her.