Chapter 50

Laurie's action confused me. Did she think of me as just another DVD on the pile, another person to come into her life for a while and then leave? I wanted to tell her that I would always be around, that she could count on me, but I knew it wasn't true. My life was getting busier and busier every day and I just didn't have the time to spend with her like I was today. Less than a year from now, there was a good chance Jack and I would be gone, off to a college in some city far away. Would my DVD represent a sister added to the long list of uncles no longer in her life?

I showed her where the DVDs were in the entertainment center and we made room for hers. She arranged them in some order of her own device, mine being the last one, on the far right. She then pulled it out and asked me if we could watch it.

I set up the home theater to play it and she put it in the DVD player. We watched for a couple of minutes and then she pulled another box over to her. This one was marked "Laurie — Books." She started taking out books and spreading them out on the floor. For a moment I thought someone had gotten the box of my childhood books from storage and given it to her. The Little Train That Could, books by Dr. Seuss and Disney and an oversize, illustrated Polar Express. Then there were others, books not available when I was in diapers and learning to get around on my own.

"I bet your mommy got all of those for you, didn't she?"

"Uh huh."

"She got me some of these when I was your age. Do you like it when someone reads to you?"

"Uh huh."

"Would you like me to read you a story?"

"Yeah."

We turned off the DVD and she sat on my lap as I read The Little Train That Could. She read most of the words out loud with me, pointing to them as she spoke, becoming very enthusiastic when we got to the "I think I can" part. We finished that book and she wanted to read The Cat In The Hat. She followed along on that one, too, but got quieter as we went along. About halfway through, she stopped altogether. She'd fallen asleep in my lap.

When Jack got sick, shortly after we had sex for the first time, he fell asleep in my arms a couple of times. Other than that, this time with Laurie was the only time I'd had someone fall asleep while I was holding them. I felt privileged that this little girl I hadn't even known of three days ago felt safe and secure enough to fall asleep in my lap.

I put the book down and carried her into my old room, putting her down on the bed. I managed to get her shoes and socks off without waking her, then covered her with a blanket. I went back into the TV room and gathered her books, taking them back to the bedroom. With a little rearranging I was able to make room for them in the bookcase. I put her books on the shelf, flipping through a couple of them, bringing back memories of my father reading to me. When I was finished, I checked Laurie. She was out for the count, looking as though she didn't have a care in the world.

I left her in bed, pulling the door to as I went into the hallway. I checked the clock on the DVD player as I put the unwatched DVD in the box. Wanda should be getting here any minute. Just for the hell of it, I called Charlie's. If he stopped home before going back to Mary's, he might check for messages.

I got even luckier. I had just started to leave a message when he picked up the receiver. He said he had no problem swinging by and taking me home.

I was just hanging up when Wanda came in. "Hi Jill. I thought you'd be at school. What's up?"

"You didn't hear, did you?"

"Hear what?"

"Vivian died early this morning."

"Oh, that's sad. John said she was going to be in a lot of pain, so I guess it's for the best. Did she suffer much?"

"As far as I know, she just went to sleep and never woke up. Daddy can tell you more about it."

She looked at me as if she wanted to ask more, then said, "OK. Who was that on the phone?"

"I called Charlie to see if he can take me home."

"I can take you home. I don't mind at all."

"Wanda, I think it will work out better if he does. He's staying with us while his parents are at the clinic. Besides, you have to take care of Laurie."

"Oh, is she here?"

"Where else would she be, Wanda?"

"I didn't think. This is all so new to me."

"Are you OK with this?"

"I don't think I have much choice. If I fight it, I'm cruel and heartless. It's not that I don't love her; she's impossible not to love. I've known your dad for years, but it's only been a short time that we've been in a relationship. It's hard enough getting to know somebody without a distraction like Laurie."

"Well, I'm afraid you're stuck with her. He's looking at this whole thing as some kind of duty. I saw him promise Vivian last night and I know Daddy. He'll die before abandoning Laurie."

"I know. That's who he is and it's one of the reasons I love him so much. Look, I know Laurie's going to be part of the equation if I want to be with your father. It's something I'm going to have to accept, and I do. You just asked how I was doing and I needed to get some stuff off my chest. I didn't mean to burden you or put you in the middle or anything."

"Hey, Wand. It's OK. You can always come to me if anything's bothering you or you just want to talk. We've always been there for each other and there's no reason for that to stop now. Now, if Daddy wants you to put a saddle on him and ride him around the bedroom and you have questions about it, it may take me a minute to be able to discuss it with you."

She laughed, said "You're the best," and hugged me. "She's awful quiet. What do you think she's doing?"

I said, "Let's go see."

I led her down the hallway and held my finger to my lips. I pushed the door open and nudged Wanda toward the room. Laurie was on her side, her legs curled up a bit, her thumb in her mouth. The blankets had been shoved down and were just covering her feet. Wanda held both hands up to her chest and smiled at me.

I pulled the door to and led Wanda to the TV room.

"Daddy brought Laurie to school this morning and told me the news. We went to the hospice and he signed some papers and got Vivian's journal. She wrote a letter to him that said she had written letters to him, me, you, Laurie and Jack. He had them, and as far as I know, he still does. She also left a key to a self storage space. Laurie saw the body and said goodbye to her mother. She's taking it very well. As far as she's concerned, her mother's up in heaven, watching over her.

"We went to the storage place and brought everything home. Laurie's bike and scooter are in the garage, against the wall on the yard side. He told her she can't go riding the bike without an adult around. He named me as an adult when he was telling her and the two of us went down to the shopping center across from the Post Office and she rode for a half hour or so. We also shared a banana split and I got her a DVD."

I went over to the entertainment center and pointed. "These are all hers. Most of them were given to her by men who were around for a while, then disappeared. It doesn't seem to bother her; that's just the way things are.

"I also unpacked a box full of dolls and stuffed animals. They're all on shelves in her room. She had a box of books spread out in here, and I read a book and a half to her before she fell asleep. I put her to bed about a half hour ago and then I put the books in the bookcase in her room. She doesn't know that, so you should show her where they are. I put them all on the right side of the shelf that has my Heinlein books on it.

"Daddy's got a box of my kid books around here someplace. There are some in there that Laurie doesn't have and I'm sure she'd enjoy. Let her know they were my old books and I thought she'd like them.

"Daddy said he was going to fence off the pool and she could ride her scooter on the patio after that was done. She can also ride her bike back there, but he didn't think she had enough room. She was fine with it. One thing she doesn't have is a helmet and pads for her knees and elbows. I don't know what the law is but we got away with it in the parking lot. I know she can be ticketed if she rides in the street without a helmet. I'm not sure about the pads but they would be a good thing to get her."

I took a breath. " I think that's everything. Jeez. I sound like Laurie talking to one of her dolls she hasn't seen for a while. Oh. One more thing. There's going to be a memorial service at the mortuary, then the burial at the cemetery. I know it's on Friday but I can't remember if it's at 4:00 or 4:30. I'm sure you'll be going with Daddy and Laurie."

The doorbell rang, then I heard the door open and Charlie yell, "Anybody home?"

I called out, "We're in the TV room."

He came in with a few pages of note paper in his hand. He pushed them toward me. "Here's your homework."

I thanked him, then picked up the "Jill — Pictures" box and put it down on the couch next to me. I opened up the journal box and saw that they all had dates on the binders. I took the two earliest.

"She left all her journals. She started them a few months after she left Daddy and me. I'm going to check out the first two, then I'll bring them back and get some more. I don't know how Daddy will feel about you looking at them but I'd get permission if I were you. Same thing with this one." I pointed at the "Laurie — Pictures" box. "Check with Laurie first. Knowing her, she'll be more than happy to sit on your lap and tell you who everybody is in them."

The phone rang and Wanda went to pick it up. I got my box of pictures, the two journals and my homework assignments and Charlie and I headed out. I waved to Wanda as we passed and she held up a finger.

"Jill and Charlie are just leaving. Do you need to say anything to either of them?"

She listened, then waved us off.

I took the stuff from Vivian out to the car, then got my school books from the garage where Daddy had left them.

Once we got going, Charlie pointed at the boxes on the seat between us. "What's all this?"

"Jeez. I bet you don't know anything that's been going on. My mother died last night. This is some of the stuff she had stored away."

"God, I'm sorry. I guess it's a good thing you went to see her last night."

"Yeah, I guess it was. Look, I don't want to have to tell the same story a bunch of different times so I'd like to wait till we get home. OK?"

"Sure."

"So, how did it feel to get back to school?"

"Fine. I've got a lot more homework than you do but most of my teachers are giving me a couple of weeks to do it. A couple of people asked where I'd been; most of the rest probably never noticed I was gone. Other than that, not much to talk about."

Charlie gave me a hand with the boxes while I got my books upstairs. Bozo was happy to see us for a second or two before the backyard called him. I told Charlie I'd be downstairs in a few minutes.

I changed into some comfortable clothes and was just slipping on my Ugg boots when Jack came in.

"You're early."

"I'm not staying after school for swimming anymore."

"You aren't quitting the team, are you?"

"No. But I am better than anyone on the team and I'm the only one who's putting out the extra effort. If I was going after a swimming scholarship, I'd think about it. But I'm not."

"How does your coach feel about that?"

"He's the one who brought it up to begin with."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He pulled me in his office after last period and we talked for about twenty minutes or so. He asked what my plans were for swimming after high school and I told him I wanted more out of college than swimming and wasn't sure if I was willing to put in the time to go out for it. Then he asked me why I stayed after school every day. I told him it was something I'd always done, since I started with the team. And he asked why I did it now. Did it really make a difference in my performance?

"I thought about it for a while and I really couldn't come up with enough improvement to justify all the time I was spending on it. But I did see some things that it had helped. There's nothing like constantly drilling things that you do all the time, like starts and turns.

"He closed his eyes for a a bit and then said, 'I have an idea. You come up with some things like that; things that could use some drilling, and I'll let you work the whole team on them. If they'll cut off a second or two of your time, there's no reason they won't do the same for everybody else. Our regular class sessions have pretty much become workouts to keep in shape for the events. There's nothing wrong with that, but some gains along the way wouldn't hurt anybody.'"

"Then he asked what I was planning on doing in college and I told him I was thinking about photography. I told him about the reaction to my work on the website and the appointments I had this week. He's going to have his daughter get in touch with me about doing some portraits."

"Does she go to Fernmont?"

"No. They live over near North Hills."

"Wow. Could be a whole new market for you."

"Yeah, it could be. But it doesn't matter how many people want their pictures taken; it's how many pictures I actually take. I know I need to talk to people, but for the next three days, that's all I'm doing and not taking any pictures."

"What are you going to talk to them about?"

"First off, I want to find out what they expect from me. Then I need to decide if it's something I want to do, and if so, how much do I feel comfortable charging for it."

"What do you mean about it being something you want to do?"

"OK. I'm pretty sure I can get just about anyone to look their best. What if she wants to look better than that? Part of what I want to do is guarantee they'll like the pictures or they don't have to buy them. With most people, that's fine. But what if someone who looks like Hillary Clinton wants to come out looking like Britney Spears?"

"I don't know if that kind of person will be worth it. I know you; you'd spend twice as much effort trying to create a Cinderella out of a wicked witch as you will getting the perfect shot from somebody else. You can always charge a basic sitting charge if they decide they don't like the pictures and you've done everything in your power to get them what they want. You'll have to spell it out in a contract or some of them are going to want you to totally Photoshop their portraits until it doesn't even look like them. There are plenty of hacks out there who do that. I've seen some of the pictures."

"See, that's exactly what I don't want to get into. If I wanted to do that kind of thing I'd use a paintbrush instead of a camera."

"Well, you're pretty good at sounding people out. Go with your gut. If you think she's going to be a pain, send her to one of the hacks. You might put something in your contract about what you're willing to use Photoshop for and what you aren't. You kind of need to use these interviews as a survey to find out what they want ... We can go over them if you want and come up with solutions. Maybe even guidelines of which people you're going to be willing to throw away. What else are you concerned about?"

"You know there are going to be some girls that are going to want pictures for their boyfriends. I'll probably be OK with bathing suit and lingerie shots. But what if she wants some nudes?"

"If she's under 18, forget it. If she's old enough, I trust you. You should have an adult chaperon in the room with you while you're talking them, just to make sure there are no misunderstandings."

"What do you mean?"

"There are plenty of women out there who'd think nothing of posing nude, then coming back at you with a lawsuit. It can vary from pulling a Miley on you, saying they had no idea what you were doing and the next thing they knew they were naked to saying you took advantage of them, even raped them."