Chapter 2

NARA'S STORY

In the middle of the night I could hear Nara softly crying. My heart went out to her but I didn't know what to do about it. I thought about trying to comfort her but I was concerned about making her more scared than she was now.

I fell into a deep sleep and when I woke up Nara was sitting at the small table next to the kitchen. She was dressed in the now clean and dry clothes she had on the night before. She had found the orange juice and was drinking some from a tall glass

She saw me looking at her and blushed a little bit and turned her face away. I got up and took my clothes in the bathroom and dressed. When I got back to the kitchen I put some coffee on. While it was perking we didn't talk to each other more than a spare hello.

When the coffee was ready I held a cup up towards Nara and she nodded her okay. With coffee in place I sat down and looked at her, making her turn her head away again.

"Nara, look at me," I said softly, "You can't just hide from life. You didn't really want to end everything last night, did you?"

Looking at me now, with her big round eyes, she whispered, "No, I didn't."

"Well, Nara, I think you have three choices. I can call the police, you can call your family or you can talk to me. I'm sure you don't want the police and I suspect that your family is part of the problem so I suggest you tell me your problems and I'll see if there is anything we can work out. Do you agree?"

She nodded her acquiescence.

"Why don't we have some breakfast first and then we can talk?"

I took her to a good breakfast place two blocks away. I went there at least once a week for either breakfast or lunch. I liked to cook my own dinners. I became good friends with the owner, Kendra Allen. She was in her late fifties and when her husband had retired from the San Francisco Police Department she had bought the small restaurant to give her something to do.

Her husband, Mike, had retired as an Inspector III — essentially a senior detective. Besides frequently attending retirement parties and playing golf with his buddies from the SFPD, he was off hunting and fishing all the time. The restaurant was only open for breakfast and lunch — from six in the morning until two in the afternoon.

I thought it would make her more at ease to be around people and have a chance to get to know me better. I did introduce her to Kendra as a "friend." Kendra looked at me kind of funny since she knew I was engaged and had eaten breakfast there a couple of times with Ceria when she had stayed over.

As we ate I told her about the party, going into a lot of details. I told her about seeing Ceria with that Dante guy. I tried to make it sound funny to try to cheer her up a little.

"I thought I'd be more upset than I was. I was angry about the way she behaved but driving home I felt relieved more than anything. I never felt close to her family — and I don't get along with her dad at all. Then when she came barging in later last night I was a bit stunned at first. She thought that you, well we... anyway I never got a chance to explain. I was thinking I would have to tell her the engagement was over, and why, but that would have been messy."

We went back to the houseboat and I poured myself some more coffee and showed her where the tea was. She was sitting on the small sofa and I took one of the kitchen chairs.

"Nara, are you ready to talk to me?"

"Yes... Eddie."

"I'll start with some questions and we can take it from there. What is your full name?

"I'm Dayanara Vegerano, Nara, like I said."

"And you are from San Juan?"

"How did you know? Well, not San Juan, but Mayagüez. That's a university city on the west coast of Puerto Rico. But, how did you know?"

"I was in San Juan last year with Ceria for two weeks at the Condado Plaza — I have a good ear for accents and yours sounded familiar. Do you have family there?"

"No... no, Eddie. My dad died several years ago... and my mom, mom,... she died last month."

Nora was crying a little now so I gave her a few minutes, refilled my coffee mug.

"Do you have anyone else?" I quietly continued.

"No, there is no one there. We had a business in a bad part of town. It was a small place that was kind of famous in Mayagüez. We made sangria and sold it only in gallon jugs or people could bring their own bottles. We got some protection because we brought a lot of tourists into the neighborhood and they ate at the local restaurants and bought stuff in the small stores.

"When my mom died a man came by and told me I would have to start paying money each month or I wouldn't be safe. My mom knew a man in the police department that had been helping us but I never knew who he was. When mom died a neighbor offered to buy our store so I sold it for twelve thousand dollars."

"What about family here? Do you have anyone in San Francisco?" I was guessing where she lived. I knew she had walked to the bridge.

"Yes, I have a... brother."

She looked scared when she said this and started crying again. I finally had her go in and take a shower, hoping it would settle her down. Later, I finally heard her story.

My brother is ten years older than me. He is really my stepbrother — my dad had been married before he married my mom. My brother, Pablo Vegerano, came to San Francisco when he was eighteen. I hadn't seen him since, even when papa died. When I decided to sell the business I called him and asked if I could live with him. I told him I wanted to go to school. He asked if I had any money and I told him about María wanting to buy the business.

He told me to come right away and that he would be happy to have his sister live with him. So when I settled everything I flew to San Francisco. It was really nice at first — it's a large apartment in the Mission district and I had my own bedroom.

Pablo took my money, "... to put it in the bank for me." Then, two nights ago, I had gone to bed when I woke to some shouting in the living room. I was scared so I opened my door a crack and from what I heard Pablo bought some drugs from this guy to sell. They were stolen from Pablo's car so he didn't have the money to pay the guy back.

I saw him give the man the money I had from the store. Then the guy pulled a gun and shouted that he had to have the rest of the money. Pablo quieted him down and asked if he could make some other kind of arrangement. They talked quietly for a few minutes in lower voices that I couldn't hear. Then the man smiled when Pablo told him he would bring me to him the next day. He was giving me to the guy to pay for his drug money!

I was really scared and couldn't get back to sleep. I knew I couldn't stay there so early yesterday I left the house around six — I knew that Pablo never got up before eleven or so. I had forty dollars in my purse and took the trolley downtown to get away from the neighborhood. I found a place for breakfast and walked around for several hours.

When I was hungry again, I took the cable car to Fisherman's wharf and had lunch. I didn't know what to do or where to go. It was such a terrible feeling. Later I went to a movie and fell asleep. I woke up when everyone was leaving so I left too. It was cold and I didn't have the right clothes. I saw the bridge and just started walking.

I didn't have any plans to do anything... it was just like a magnet pulling me. When I got to the top of the bridge I just... well, I gave up. Everything seemed so hopeless. My family was gone and all I had left was Pablo and he, he wanted to give me to that awful guy. I wasn't thinking of dying... it was just that I guess I gave up. I couldn't deal with it. Then you came, and...

She started crying again so I sat on the sofa and held her close for a long time. The sobbing gradually stopped and she seemed half asleep. I carried her over to the bed and laid her down to sleep it off. Poor kid. My heart really went out to her.

I left her a note and walked over to Kendra's place for a BLT. She used a brand of nice lean, thick smoked bacon for breakfast that made the best BLT sandwiches I'd ever had.

"Okay, Eddie, who's the girl you were here with for breakfast?"

She knew all about my engagement. I told her Nara's story and of the problems she had, and I could see it upset her.

"So she doesn't want to turn her brother over to the police?"

"No, and I can't understand that. Yeah, he is all the family she has, but anyone that would sell his sister... I don't know."

"Eddie, how about if the police catch him and she has nothing to do with it?"

"What do you mean, Kendra?"

"I've got an idea. I need to talk to Mike about it. Say, where is this girl staying? Not with you, is she?"

Embarrassed now, I answered, "Well, yeah, I guess. I mean I didn't have any choice last night. She wouldn't do anything else and it was late."

I went on to tell her about Ceria's visit and how much fun that had been.

"Well, Eddie, you've got yourself in a fine pickle. I can't help you with Ceria; that's for sure your problem. But maybe there's something we can do for Nara. You realize she can't continue to stay with you, don't you? And she needs to find a job. Poor girl!"

I hadn't thought that far ahead but I had to agree that she couldn't stay with me. I needed to talk to Ceria and see where we stood. I didn't know whether we could patch things up, or even if I wanted to. It was obvious that we wouldn't have a chance to resolve things if Nara was staying on the houseboat.

"Kendra, I don't have any idea how I can find an apartment on short notice that she can afford. And as far as a job, man, I have no ideas at all."

"Come with me, Eddie. I want to show you something."

She led me to the back of the restaurant and up a narrow staircase. It opened into a very small room, probably no more that a hundred square feet. There was one small window at the back and a tiny closet and bath on one side. The bath was barely big enough for me to turn around in, and had a shower. There was no kitchen. It was clean, although dusty.

"'I've never used this and I didn't want to rent it out. I'd have to give a key to the restaurant to the tenant and we really don't need the money. I think it would be great for Nara. I'm here a lot of the time and we have a security system.

"All you need is a bed and dresser and you can get it at the Salvation Army store down the block. If you give one of the guys a twenty he'll deliver it for you. Why don't you bring her over and take a look at it. You can use the cleaning stuff in the back closet, behind the kitchen."

It did look like a good solution. It was close to the houseboat and I knew that Nara would get along with Kendra quite well; she was the motherly type.

"That's great, Kendra. I'm sure this will work out great. I still have to work out the job though."

"Well, I've been thinking. You know Stephanie, the girl that has been helping me out. She left Friday to move back to Denver with her folks. I guess she is going to go to school in Boulder.

"Anyway, I need someone to help me. It's no fun to do it by myself. It would be a bit of everything, from waiting tables and bussing to washing dishes and cleaning the place. I could teach her to do some of the cooking too. We don't do anything very complicated.

"I think this would be good for her. I can't pay too much but I could let her have the room upstairs to stay in and she can have all her meals here. At night she can fix her dinner in the restaurant kitchen. If you want to bring her over I can stay for a while. What do you think?"

"That sounds great, Kendra. I'll go get her now."

I walked back, enjoying the bright sun after the rain of the night before. I found Nara sitting on a bench in front of the houseboat.

"Eddie, oh, Eddie. I woke up and you were gone. I came outside to see if I could find you. When I tried to go back in the door was locked! I was kind of scared."

"Nara, you didn't see the note I left?"

Sheepishly, she shook her head no. I told her about my discussion with Kendra and she was excited. We went in my car back over to the restaurant so she could look at the room and talk to Kendra.

Kendra surprised me when she told me, "Go on and look at the furniture. Nara and I can talk better without you here."

I guess she wanted to make sure that Nara understood that I was engaged and remind her of the sly ways of even an old man of thirty. I smiled a bit at Kendra; she really was a mother hen.

I ignored the advice about the Salvation Army and went to the same place I brought my own furniture. I told the girl that had waited on me before what I needed and that it had to be delivered that afternoon.

She showed me a few things and we found a day bed with two large storage drawers under it, a dresser from the same set and a comfortable stuffed chair that was both a rocker and a recliner. She had all the linen stuff I'd need plus a throw rug we figured out would fit. I also got a large mirror to put on the wall. The woman that was helping me out said that would make the room look larger.

I went back to the restaurant with the promise that everything would be delivered within the hour. I figured I could help Nara clean up and get everything in place. For a few days until I could get a phone in, she would have to use the phone downstairs.

When I got back to the restaurant they were sitting, drinking coffee and talking. They had jumped in and cleaned the room and Kendra had told her what all she would be doing. When I walked in, Nara blushed, and I guessed that they had been talking about me.

"Did you get the furniture, Eddie?"

"Yeah, it should be here in a few minutes. I'll have to take her to get some clothes and bathroom stuff."

"Eddie, give me your credit card and I'll take care of that. You don't know the first thing about buying clothes for a girl. You stay here and get the furniture in. We will meet you back at the houseboat and you can take us to Scoma's for dinner. Mike is at some wedding in the City so I might as well have some fun."

Well, I hadn't thought all that through. With a sigh of relief I said goodbye to them and waited for the delivery truck. Kendra had given us both a key and showed us how to use the security system.

The truck came a few minutes later so I showed them where to put everything. They weren't too happy about the stairs but I just shrugged. I had a toolkit in my car so I put the mirror up. The room was a bit cramped but it looked much nicer. What made it all work was the rug; it kind of pulled everything together. I'd spent more than I'd planned but it made a world of difference to the room.

I went back to the houseboat, showered, shaved and got dressed to await the evening pleasure... at my expense, of course. I didn't mind though; Kendra stepping in had saved me a lot of time and heartache trying to get things to work.

When they got back I couldn't believe the difference in how Nara looked. They had stopped back at her new apartment to leave the packages and for Nara to get ready. I had seen how pretty she was, but dressed in new clothes — and with an obvious stop at a salon to get her hair fixed after the rain - she was stunningly beautiful.

She was wearing a simple black sheath dress that showed she was indeed small... but with all the right curves that women have that differentiate them from girls. I tended to use the term girl and woman somewhat indiscriminately but clearly that was inappropriate here.

Kendra laughed at me — with a bit of sarcasm, I think, "I guess you don't mind the six hundred dollars we spent?"

Six hundred! Jeez, along with the money from the furniture store I was making a real investment here.

Nara threw her arms around me and gave me a close hug — yep, all woman! — and murmured, "Oh, Eddie! Thanks so much for everything. The apartment is precious and the clothes. I've never had anything this nice."

With another squeeze, she stepped back, blushing now. I don't think she had realized how tightly she was holding me. Kendra winked at me making me feel like a dirty old man. Well, hell, I wasn't that old.

We went to Scoma's and had one of their usual, delicious meals. We had a basket of calamari and grilled Petrale sole with some of their wonderful sourdough French bread. Kendra and I split a nice bottle of Gewürztraminer. My thirty years and Nara's not being able to drink any of the wine made me realize again just how young she was. And how old I was by comparison. Maybe I was an old man. But, dammit, I wasn't a dirty old man. Was I?

We were driving back to drop Nara off and then return Kendra to her car. I walked in with Nara to make sure she got the security code right and to walk her upstairs.

"Eddie, you have done so much for me. It's so nice."

With this she kissed me on the cheek and then backed away, a blush slowly spreading up her neck to her face.

"I'll pay everything back, I promise."

"Don't worry about it, Nara. Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

She nodded and I gave her one of my business cards with my phone number on it.

"Call me if you have any problems, okay?"

I drove on to my parking lot, let Kendra off and went on in to my houseboat. It had never seemed empty before but it did now. It was amazing to me how such a small girl — sorry, woman — could so fill up my home. I found a message to call Ceria, so I thought I'd better call her back and get it over with.

I phoned right away, knowing that if I didn't it would get harder and harder.

"Eddie, I'm sorry about how I acted, but I went crazy when I saw a girl in your place!"

I mentally corrected that to "woman," and asked her how she was doing.

She didn't buy my evasion, and asked, "Eddie, who was that girl?"

I hadn't wanted to get into everything and I particularly didn't want to get Nara's story out — I felt she was still in some danger.

"Ceria, she is just a friend that is going through some problems. She isn't here anymore. You just have to trust me that I've been faithful to you... just like you have been faithful to me." I added the last with a bit of an edge to my voice but I think it was wasted.

"Well," there was a long pause, "Why don't I come over tomorrow night. We can talk and go to Scoma's for dinner. I haven't been there for such a long time."

Great! I can have some more of that great petrale and sourdough bread!

I didn't think it was such a great idea but we did need to talk.

"Okay, Ceri, come over about six. We can eat and then come back and talk.

I went on to bed thinking about how my life had changed so much, so fast. I thought about Ceria and Dante. I didn't really know if they had done anymore than kiss but I wasn't thinking it made any difference. I sure wasn't one to share a woman and, yeah, we weren't married yet, and yeah, maybe they really hadn't done anything, but I felt an emotional distancing taking place between us. I saw it as a matter of trust and respect.

There had been too many instances of both Ceria and her father showing me in subtle and not so subtle ways that I didn't really command their respect. I assumed it was because I wasn't rich. Strangely enough, at least to me, her mom loved me. But the episode with Dante — even though she didn't know that I'd seen them — was an order of magnitude worse. That made it... personal.

Well, I'd wait and see what the next day had for me. I usually went to breakfast at Kendra's early — with everything going on I'd gotten behind in my work. I had a manuscript in final edit and I needed to give the publisher some feedback on my editor's final suggested changes.

About two in the morning the phone rang. I answered to the sound of silence. Trying to guess whether it was Ceri or Nara I listened for a minute and taking a chance, "Nara?"

With a sigh she replied, "I'm sorry for calling you. I tried not to."

"Are you okay, Nara?"

"Yes, I guess so. I heard noises but when I came downstairs it was just the refrigerator. I'm sorry for bothering you. I was just... scared I guess."

Poor kid. "Do you want me to come over?"

"Yes, Eddie, I do. But don't come. I'll be all right. I'm just lonely and scared a little."

I talked her for about fifteen minutes until I heard her voice getting sleepy. "Goodnight, Nara. I'll come over for breakfast."

"Goodnight, Eddie. And... thanks!"

It took a while to get back to sleep but when I did I slept straight through.

Nara was waiting for me with a big smile, jeans, a white sweater and an apron. The smile wasn't the only new thing. If I hadn't seen her in that black sheath dress the night before I'd swear she was sixteen. She looked so fresh and perky.

"Good morning, Sir. What would you like for breakfast?"

Pushing away those lecherous thoughts about saying, "You," I answered, "Oh, my usual I guess. Just tell Kendra I'm here."

I was the only customer so Kendra brought out my food and sat down, waving for Nara to join us.

"She's gonna work out real well, Eddie. She's smart and way too polite."

Nara blushed prettily at this, sipping on her coffee.

"Do you know, Eddie, that when you gave me the coffee that night it was the first time I'd ever had it before? This is good but yours was better, somehow."

I guess she didn't see me put the brandy in.

She continued, "Eddie, I hate to ask this, but until I get paid I don't have any money. I need some, well, personal stuff, and... oh, Eddie, I promise I'll pay everything back."

Embarrassed, feeling I knew more than I should; I slipped her a couple of twenties.

"I'll be busy tonight so I'll stop by sometime tomorrow." For some reason I didn't feel comfortable talking to Nara about Ceria.

Kendra gave me a knowing smirk and said, "Yeah, I just bet you will be."

Obviously she was remembering what I'd told her about Ceria and her visit.

I lingered over my coffee but, when a couple of customers came in and both Kendra and Nara got up, I figured it was time to go. I waved them a goodbye.

I spent the day wrapping up some administrative stuff. I went to the bank and deposited several checks, emailed my final comments on my most recent novel, "Vanquished Love," to the publisher and gave my agent, Jerry Cantfield, a call.

"Hey, Eddie. I was just getting ready to call you. I've got some interest in the civil war stuff in New Mexico you have been working on."

"That's great, Jerry. I think I've got it lined out for a great book. This ties together a lot of previous research and will be valuable to other scholars interested in how those two battles destroyed the South's hopes for winning the West."

"Uh, Eddie. I have a contract for a novel. There's twenty grand up front and since I know you don't need the cash, I've worked out a nice royalty deal. They are looking for a serious novel. They mentioned Edna Ferber's, "Cimarron" as an example of what they were looking for."

What the hell was he talking about? My serious writing is non-fiction. Everything else is this silly romance stuff.

"Eddie, you there? Listen, I'll send you my notes. But I have to tell you, they are looking for a quick commitment on this. They know about your Romance novels and like your writing style. I showed them the stuff you sent me on your research on those battles in New Mexico, what were they? Oh, yeah. 'Valverde, ' and 'Glorieta Pass.' How soon can you get back to me, Eddie?"

Thinking fast, and making a quick change in my writing direction — I was tired of writing Romance novels — I asked him, "Jerry, how soon can they send me a check?"

I wrapped up the discussion and as I thought about it I started getting excited. I'd never thought about writing something like this but I knew I could do it and do a good job. Ideas were running through my head in a steady stream. I sat down at the computer and started making notes.

I saw the basic storyline as being about two brothers from Texas that fall in love with the same girl. She can't decide between them and the younger brother moves to Colorado to work on a ranch. They eventually meet on the battlefield. One of them lives to return to Texas and claim the girl. I figured I could tie in some of my "romance" expertise with a serious novel.

I knew how I wanted to end it but I wasn't even going to write that down. Focused on the story as I was, I didn't hear the soft knock at the door at first. When I did hear the follow-on tap on the doo, r I was irritated more than anything else. I knew from experience that out of my first, free flowing ideas, my best writing came.

Opening the door to shoo away the expected solicitor as I pointed to the large "No Soliciting" sign, I was shocked to see Ceria standing there. Muttering a hopefully unheard, "Oh, shit!" I opened the door and somewhat ungraciously waved her in.

"I'm sorry, Ceri. I got wrapped up in a new story and I forgot the time. Can you give me a minute? I need to take a quick shower."

Looking a bit delicious, she stepped up and gave me a steamy kiss, her tongue searching out the story of my life.

"Eddie, baby, do you want me to wash your back?"

We'd done that many times, shared the shower, that is, but I didn't want to go that way. I really did want to have a serious discussion of our future.

"Just give me a minute, Ceria. I'll be right out."

I rarely locked the bathroom door but this time I did.

When we got to the restaurant, the waiter, a guy that knew me well, gave me a knowing wink and a big smile and led me to the table.

"What was that all about?" Ceri asked.

"Uh, I guess he just wanted a big tip. Why don't you go ahead and order."

When the waiter came back, Ceria, of course... it was inevitable, asked the waiter, "Why don't we start with a basket of the calamari and some grilled Petrale sole for the entrée. Oh, bring us a basket of your great bread and a bottle of the Bouchaine Chard. It goes so well with the petrale.

Great! The whole meal had a sense of déjà vu about it. I picked at the food, my heart not really in it. I was able to pretty much go through another bottle of the Chardonnay. Great stuff!

Ceria kept trying to talk about us but I wasn't all that sure there was even an us anymore.

"Wait until we get back to my place. I've got a new bottle of cognac that you will like."

She should; her dad gave it to me.

We got back and Ceri made some cappuccino with the fancy machine she had given me for Christmas but was way too complicated for me to understand, and I poured the brandy.

Ceria opened with a salute, "To us!"

Damn. I reasoned that I might as well jump right in.

"Ceri, I'm not sure where we are anymore."

"Oh, has that floozy been here again?"

I sure didn't want to get into that.

"No, Ceri. This has nothing to do with anything but you, me... and Dante."

"Dante! What the hell are you talking about?"

"Ceria, at the party the other night, the special Valentine's party, that night I wanted to stay home and share our love. That night I saw you on the balcony with Dante, giving him a kiss that should only have been given to me."

"Oh, Eddie! Is that what this is about? Dante doesn't mean anything to me. It was just a kiss, after all."

"Well, Ceri, I watched that kiss. I saw how his hand slide down to your butt like it was home plate. I saw a kiss that spoke of a previous familiarity between you."

Well, it all came out then. Before I had met her she'd had a torrid affair with Dante that led to his divorce. Her dad had to get involved because it almost lost him one of his best customers in New York.

"But, Eddie, it didn't mean anything. I wasn't going to sleep with him or anything."

"You know, Ceri, I actually believe you. I really don't think you are low enough to do that to me. But you shared with him an intimacy that should only be shared with me. I've had too much disrespect from you and your dad. I know both of you think what I write is 'not appropriate work' for a grown man, and that your dad particularly doesn't feel that I have enough money for you."

"Oh, honey, you shouldn't feel that way."

"Ceri, something I wrote in one of my stories and that I think makes a lot of sense, is that 'Feelings are neither right or wrong, they just are.' And that is exactly how I feel so please don't denigrate my feelings."

We talked it over for a couple hours with me drinking more of the cognac than was good for me. At least I guessed that was why I woke up with Ceria's arm draped over my chest.

Ceria wanted to go to Kendra's place for breakfast. After some more discussion I convinced her to have some of my special Belgian Waffles. Damn, if she found out how much I had spent on Nara...

We finally agreed to kinda stay engaged but kinda not. That sounded ambivalent but I guess that's the way we were. She took the ring back but didn't put it on. Yeah, ambivalent. She did promise not to see Dante again.