Chapter 10

Nilsen awoke very early the next morning feeling refreshed and very good, that was until he rolled over and saw Lavender huddled in a chair next to the bed. As impossible as it seemed she actually looked small as she hunched down, looking at him through hair that hung lankly over her face and around her face. The good feeling evaporated immediately and he sighed. Closing his eyes momentarily he wondered if he could possibly make this go away by ignoring it? He couldn't. Opening his eyes again he looked back at his obviously troubled bodyguard.

"I think we need to talk," he said patting the bed next to him. "Why don't you come over here so we can at least be comfortable?" She hesitated, looked at him then at the bed, then back at him again. "Don't worry, I'm not going to attack you; I just want to talk."

Nodding slightly she uncurled from the chair ― the long length of bare leg not making his resolution and promise any easier ― and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked up into her eyes and didn't find what he had expected. He expected her to be angry, or disgusted, or maybe even disappointed, but he saw none of that. What he did see was sadness and maybe a little bit of fear and that puzzled him.

"Okay," he started, taking a deep breath. "What we did obviously is bothering you; for that I am sorry. I won't say I'm sorry we did it, that was ... wonderful, but I'm sorry it made you feel bad. It's all my fault and I know that. What I need to know is what can I do to make it right for you? I promise I'll never touch you again if that's what you want. I can pass your bond to someone else if that will help or, like I told you before, I can set you up somewhere else, anywhere you want to go. Just tell me Lav, what can I do?"

"What are you apologizing for?" she asked with a small frown. "You did nothing but make me feel something I don't deserve to feel."

"What?" he exclaimed, now completely lost. "Ah, you're not mad at me?"

"No," she frowned again. "Why would I be?"

"I don't know," he stuttered. "Taking advantage of you maybe? Taking from you what you didn't want to give?"

"That's silly," she said shaking the hair out of her face. "You gave me a gift that I never thought I would have, one that I didn't even know I wanted. No, I'm not mad at you. I'm sad because I must tell you something and I know you will not want me again once you have heard it."

"Okay, now I'm not only lost and puzzled but also intrigued," he said struggling to sit up. He sat cross-legged across from her and pulled part of the blanket over himself. Not so much because of modesty, more because he didn't think having his cock flopping around would aid in the conversation. "I can't imagine what you could say that would stop me from wanting you again. Quite frankly I enjoyed last night far too much to not want to do it again. Besides I really enjoy being with you; you are without a doubt the strangest woman I have ever been with and that makes things even more interesting.

"So what's this big secret? You're a mass murderer? Child molester? Remember I'm no longer a child so that doesn't count. A thief? Stole the crown jewels from your father? Are you married? That's it! You're married or you have a boyfriend and you're just now telling me."

"No, no, no and no," she said sounding exasperated. "Would you be quiet for a moment? I will tell you if you will let me speak."

"Fine!" he said nodding. "Out with it."

"I was to be culled," she said and held her breath while looking at him.

When it finally became evident that she wasn't going to continue he leaned forward and said, "So... ? And this is supposed to mean something to me? Culled? I know what it means to cull a herd, but that can't be what you mean. Is it?"

"Exactly," she said and turned her head so she couldn't see him looking at her. "I was too short, too ugly; everybody knew I would be one of those culled. That's why I ran away."

"What exactly does it mean to be 'culled'?" he asked.

"It means I would not be allowed to mate," she whispered.

"What do you mean, allowed? How could they stop you?"

"No man would lower himself to mate with me," she said, feeling tears in her eyes for the first time in many seasons. "But to ensure the cull I would be either put down or stilled."

"They would kill you just to keep you from having babies?" he practically screamed.

"That or be stilled," she said.

"What does that mean?"

"They would cut my womb," she drew a finger across her stomach. "I would rather be dead. Once a woman is stilled she is available for pleasure for any man who wants her. I was weak and didn't want to die, so I ran away."

"Well hell yes you did!" he said jumping up and grabbing her around the shoulders. "That's monstrous! Your people do this all the time?"

"Yes," she said nodding into his neck. He was kneeling upright and she was still sitting and that put their heads at about the same level. She hadn't tried to push him away when he grabbed and held her, just leaned her head down into the crook of his neck. What he said about her people shocked her; in fact it started to make her defensive. But that was silly; after all, hadn't she run away from them for the same reason?

"Yes," her voice only slightly muffled. "It is how we improve ourselves. Only the tallest and best looking get to mate."

"So if you aren't tall enough or what they think is good looking enough then they kill or sterilize you. How nice." He shook his head and stroked her hair. "Don't take this wrong, Lav, but I think your people are fucked up!"

"Well, it's hard to take that wrong," she said choking back a small laugh.

"Yeah," he said. "It's the diplomat in me. What can I say?" He lifted her head up by cupping her chin and looked down into her eyes. "Is that all that was bothering you?" She nodded back up at him. "So, ah, us together doesn't bother you?"

"Yes, it bothers me," she said and almost laughed again when she saw his face fall. "It bothers me because I never thought I'd ever feel like a real woman and now I do. The problem is now I want to feel like that all the time. That's no way for a shield to be: wanting to jump on your charge all the time."

"It's only fair," he said with a shrug. "I've wanted to do that to my shield-maid for days now. We're adults; I think we can figure how to make this work without disrupting our entire lives."

"So you don't despise me for being a cull and running away?" she asked warily.

"Just means you're smart as well as beautiful," he said with a shake of his head.

"So, you would mount me again?" she asked tentatively.

"I prefer to call it making love but the answer is of course, whenever you let me," he laughed. "Whenever you say 'yes'."

"Yes," she said as she lay back down, dragging him over and on top of her. "Yes, yes, yes!"

They tried to act as normally as possible when they came down for the morning meal. Nil still wasn't up to a workout at the Academy so they were eating with the rest of the household. Nil came in saying good morning to everyone and sat down while Lavender took up her accustomed position behind his chair. He tried some inconsequential small talk while waiting to be served but quit trying after it became evident that nobody was going to talk to him. Grumpily he huffed and put his head down to start on his food when it came, doing his best to ignore them as they stared at him. Suddenly Fobie started laughing and he looked up in surprise.

"What is wrong with you people?" he asked.

"You, you rock-head," Deimie said with a giggle. "Actually both of you."

"What do you mean?" he said, pretending he had no idea what she was talking about.

"You two, last night," Fobie added helpfully.

"I can't imagine what you are talking about," he said not meeting their gaze.

"Don't play stupid, Nil," Makro sounded exasperated. "You two had sex last night and these busybodies want to know all about it."

"How would you know what we did?" he asked. "And even if we did, it's none of your business."

"He's not playing stupid," Jarrah broke in. "He is stupid. How do you think we know, you idiot? Gods know they probably heard you halfway to the palace from here. If that wasn't enough, just look at Lavender: That would tell us if nothing else did. What we want to know is what happened to your big talk of not wanting to bed your shield-maid and did you force her?"

"That's ridiculous!" he sputtered. "I would never..."

"Jarrah! That is unkind and untrue," Fobie said crossly. Looking up at Lavender she continued, "Nobody thinks you forced anyone. Not even Jarrah; she's just being nasty."

"Master Nilsen did not force himself on me," Lavender said, breaking her silence and placing a hand almost possessively on his shoulder. She had spoken out loud and firmly but Nil could feel her shaking and he reached up to pat her hand comfortingly. "If anything, I forced myself on him."

"That will be quite enough," Makro said just as Nilsen was about to offer his own stinging rebuttal. "Warrior Lavender, I apologize for these three children. As long as it is consensual, what you and our brother do is strictly between the two of you. Am I understood?" She glared at her three sisters.

"Don't give us the high and mighty act, Makro," Fobie said, totally uncowed. "You were just as curious as we were." Then she did look up at Lavender, "But we are sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable. In many ways I suppose we do still act like children. Will you forgive us?"

"Forgiveness is for the master to decide," Lavender said suddenly sounding, and as Nil could sense through their contact, feeling much calmer. "I am his to command."

"Hmm," Makro muttered, her eyes closed slightly as if in concentration. "Yes, maybe if your 'master' would allow, we would like to speak to you afterwards."

Nilsen looked up at Lavender in puzzlement, "Ah, she can do whatever she wants. If she wants to meet with you, fine; if she doesn't then she doesn't have to."

"That's settled then," Makro said with the air of finality. "Sit down, Lavender. Get something to eat. There is no need for you to be standing there. Please join us."

"Thank you, Lady, but no," Lavender answered firmly. "It is my duty to watch over my charge. This is where I must be."

"Nil, would you tell her it's all right to sit down?" Makro said looking at Nil.

"No, I won't," he said looking up at his huge bodyguard. "I would rather she sat and ate with us also, but I will not tell her to do something against what she feels she must do."

"Then maybe you and I need to have a little talk later on," Makro said ominously.

Nilsen shrugged and dug back into his food, "Sure, we can talk; in fact you can talk until you're blue in the face but it won't change anything. But you can scream at me all you want if it makes you feel better."

Makro growled but didn't reply and the remainder of the meal was eaten in silence. After everyone was done the four sisters stood and beckoned Lavender to follow them. She looked at Nil for permission and his shrug told her to do what she wanted. The exchange garnered him nasty looks from his sisters, two nasty looks anyway. Deimie and Fobie looked like they were about to break out laughing any minute. Lav looked over at Cerberus who had been sleeping on the floor behind her, and with a glance told him to watch over their charge. Nilsen was somewhat bemused when the monster canine yawned and padded over to stand behind him.

"I guess it's your turn to follow me around," Nil said to the dog. "Better let the hens do their cackling without the interference of mere males." Looking over at his sisters he said before leaving the dining area, "You play nice with her or I will have all four of you over my knee." Before they could respond he left with Cerberus trailing behind.

"Over his knee, will he?" Jarrah muttered. "I'll show him over his knee! He wouldn't dare!"

"He would, he could and he will, if you push him," Fobie said lightly.

"Hush, both of you," Makro said, leading them all into the study. "Lavender, please sit down. I assure you we won't bite."

Lavender sat stiffly on the oversized chair that had been brought into the room for that purpose.

"Now," Makro started as she sat down in another chair and folded her hands in her lap, "one of the things we would like to talk to about is last night..."

"I know you think I am not suitable as a bedmate for your brother," Lavender blurted out, cutting Makro off. "You must believe me, it was my fault; I seduced him. He did not force me."

The four sisters looked at each other and suddenly all four of them burst out laughing. Lavender sat back bewildered.

"Oh, Lavender!" Makro gasped, tears from her laughter running down her cheek. "We never thought that for an instant. Well, we didn't think that anyway. But we wanted to be sure."

"You may indeed not be suitable for him," Jarrah said sniffing back her own tears. "You're probably much too good for him."

"No, no, you don't understand!" Lavender broke in. She then went on to tell her tale to them as they hung on her every word in silence. When she was done she waited for the inevitable explosion of revulsion she knew was going to follow. She was not disappointed, just baffled.

"That's disgusting!"

"Grotesque!"

"Inhuman!"

"You poor thing!"

"You ... you don't care that I am a cull?" Lavender stuttered, looking from one to the next.

"Of course we care!" Makro said. "Thank the gods you had the intelligence to get away from there. Ghastly practice!"

"Stupid," Jarrah said, shaking her head. "Just plain stupid!"

"If that is all you were worried about, then forget it," Makro said with a wave of her hand. "Even given the short amount of time we have known you we all believe you to be a wonderful person. Maybe too good for that rat brother of ours, but that's your decision, just so long as it is your decision.

"Actually, one of the things we would like to know about is this 'master' nonsense. Just when did that start? When did he have you start calling him that? Is his head getting so big he needs someone groveling to him now?"

"He didn't, Lady," Lavender said quickly, then she paused and thought for a moment about her answer. She spoke again, but slower this time. "I don't know why I want to call him that. It just feels right. I suppose it really is the truth, though," she reached up and caressed the salidin around her neck and then she chuckled. "Not more than a season ago I would rather have been dead than call another 'master'. But under the law he does own me and..." her voice trailed off into silence.