Chapter 1

The next thing I heard was music. It took me a moment to realize it was coming from a clock radio. I lay staring at the ceiling listening to the Beatles "Get Back" and wondering first what kind of weird ass dream I'd been having and second, where the hell I was. I looked around the room while realization set in. Either I was asleep, in a coma, or dead. The other alternative wasn't possible. That shit doesn't happen, does it?

I got out of bed and looked around. This wasn't another hotel, it was my old room. Not the room in the tiny apartment I kept for my infrequent lulls in travel but the one I had when I was younger than twelve years old. This shit does happen.

Someone yelled "Matt! Time to get up for school"!

Before I could think I yelled back "I'm up!" Damn! Whose voice was that! I rushed to the dresser and looked in the mirror. I almost lost it on the spot. I was my old skinny self! No beer gut, no stubble, no bloodshot eyes, and damn, did I feel alive! I hadn't felt like this since I was a kid. That made me chuckle; I was a kid! Looking around my room I knew somehow from what I saw that it was 1970. That would make me eleven years old.

I couldn't help it. I started laughing so hard I cried, screaming "look out world! I'm back where I once belonged!"

I dressed the way I always had every day for my entire school life by throwing on a rock band t-shirt and pair of jeans. The shirt took a while but eventually I settled on the Procol Harum. It was a toss-up between that and the Kinks. I figured I'd wear that one tomorrow. The folks were already gone when I got downstairs but I was glad to find the coffee was still hot. It was always that way at my house. We looked out for ourselves and as long as we didn't screw up too bad my brother and I had it made.

Our parents worked long hours so we were on our own. My brother Al was gone by now too. He was in high school and had to be there earlier than I did. I locked the door and headed for school in the best mood I had been in a very long time. I didn't even know what day it was and really didn't care.

I was so lost in the possibilities ahead of me I at first didn't hear my name being called. It didn't register until the person yelling it smacked me on the head. Before I could retaliate I caught myself. A blast from the past was standing beside me laughing his ass off.

"Hey Mark, thanks for waking me up" I said. Mark was my best friend for years and I was really glad I hadn't decked him.

We messed around like that all the time. "Man", he said, "you were lost in space or something; I've been screaming for two blocks!"

"Sorry, dude", I responded. "Guess I was kind of out of it there for a minute".

"Thinking about tryouts next week?" He asked "I know I am. I hear there are some guys trying out who are really good. I hope we can make enough of an impression to actually play".

So that's what week it is, I thought. The changer must have scoped me out pretty good because this was one of the first of many mistakes I had made. I had tried out for little league when I was eleven. I made the team by impressing the hell out of the coach in the first five minutes of the tryouts.

He was hitting grounders to potential infielders and accidentally hit a line drive that headed straight between my eyes. I was leaning over with my glove close to the ground to scoop one up and did the only thing I could. Since there was no time to get my glove up I caught it barehanded. It hurt like hell but I smiled and tossed it back. After that I never showed up again. It wasn't because my hand was swollen for two days either. Mark was the reason. I always had very few friends and most of the ones I did have were girls.

Mark wasn't what you would call a "gifted" athlete. Actually, most people would say he was a complete klutz. He had no coordination at all and was dropped the first day. I felt bad enough for him that I decided I wouldn't play either and gave up something I really liked to do along with a chance to be part of a team.

I found out later in life that working with people begins very young. If you don't learn to work as part of a group towards a common goal you end up working alone. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and ain't going back. That had to change this time.

After all that went through my mind I replied "Yep, I don't know how it will go. I hear the competition is pretty tough. We'll just have to give it a shot and see how it goes". We got to the school and split up then. We somehow ended up in different classes even though there were only two fifth grade rooms.

I walked into the portable classroom I remembered so well (total recall is amazing) and sat in my seat in great anticipation. I didn't have long to wait. Baseball wasn't the only reason I was happy Loki chose this day.

I hadn't been in my seat for long before I felt a tap on my shoulder and heard a whispered "Hey, Matt". It was Jan. She could have been my first actual girlfriend. Instead peer pressure made me do something stupid.

Jan was what a lot of people would call plain but I thought she was cute. She was as thin as I was and only slightly shorter with long black hair. Her face was average by conventional tastes but I have never been a conventional person.

I decided to play it the same as I had the first time around minus the screw-up. I turned around and said "hey yourself, how's it going cutie?" (Yes, I really was like that then).

I got the blush I had been looking for and she said "Do you really think that or are you teasing me like everybody else?"

"I think you're very pretty" I replied "anybody who thinks different must be blind or stupid".

I thought the conversation was going well until I heard the remembered "Matt and Jan!" from our teacher, Mrs. McAllister. "We are trying to have a class here. You two obviously aren't interested. Both of you front and center!"

This was expected by me and I tried hard not to smile. "I think you both need a lesson on paying attention" she said. "Perhaps two swats apiece with the yardstick will do the job."

I was the recognized "class clown" and always in trouble so I wasn't impressed. I'd been there before but Jan hadn't. "Mrs. McAllister" I said, giving her my best puppy dog look. "It was my fault. I couldn't help it. When a girl as cute as Jan wants to talk to a runt like me he just can't pass up the chance. If you don't mind I'd like to take hers too. It's not right to punish her just because she's so irresistible".

The look on every face in the room was priceless but Jan and Mrs. McAllister were by far the best. Jan was the most adorable shade of red and poor old teach had to pick her chin off the floor before she could talk. Finally, in an amazingly composed voice, she said with a smile and a suppressed laugh "alright Mr. Sussmann if you insist. Grab your ankles and let's get started."

I bent over, looked at Jan, and smiled. I had made the same speech 37 years ago. Everything else worked out the same too. I heard the whistle of the incoming ruler and felt a little sting before watching half of it fly across the room as it broke almost in half.

I stood up as I had the first time and said "Gee Mrs. McAllister, you should get better yardsticks. That one must have been made in Japan or something."

Everyone who hadn't been laughing started then. Poor Mrs. McAllister couldn't help but laugh along. When she could stop she pointed the stub at me and told me to sit down before she borrowed a baseball bat and tried again.

When class let out that day Jan asked if she could walk with me. I was happy to accept and offered to carry her books for her.

Mark and a couple of other guys he hung out with saw us and seemed a little peeved. Like most 11 year old boys they weren't interested in the opposite sex and didn't join us.

Jan started by thanking me for taking the blame for her and for saying what I did.

I used the opening to take her hand in mine and said it was no problem. I also told her I meant what I said. She lived a block further from school than I did and all too soon we were at my house.

There were a bunch of kids across the street and we heard the old faithful "Matt and Jan sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g" almost loud enough to interrupt our conversation.

The point of change (as I have come to call my different decisions this time around) was when they started with the "Maaatt's got a girllllfriend" chant.

The first time around we quickly said goodbye and that was it. I avoided Jan after that. I know it hurt her feelings but I couldn't deal with the teasing and peer pressure then. This time I knew I could and it would be different.

After about three rounds with my name they switched to the equally original "Jaaan's got a boyyyyfriend!"

I looked at her and said "do you want one?"

I got another one of those lovely blushes and she said "if you're serious but if you're teasing me I'll never talk to you again."

I told her I was serious enough to give them something to talk about tomorrow and asked if she would mind if I put the books down. After her confused "no, why" I did so.

Then I asked "now, do you mind if I put my arms around you and give you a kiss that will curl your toes?"

She looked at me in disbelief and shook her head no. I have always been a great kisser and I'm not bragging. Every girl I have had the pleasure of kissing has told me so. I pulled her close and put all thirty-five years of experience into it. It was a bit awkward at first. I don't think she'd ever done this before but she soon got the hang of it. I caressed her back from the top of her cute little butt to the bottom of her graceful neck. Then I ran my hands through her hair and finished by holding my hands on both sides of her face. I did keep my tongue to myself. I didn't think she'd be ready for that yet. I just hoped she hadn't felt the surprisingly large bulge in my pants.

We came up for air after about a minute and it was totally quiet. Then we heard "EEEW!", "YUCK!", and other uninformed opinions from across the way.

Jan finally opened her eyes, looked at me, and said "WOW". She then yelled across the street "You don't know what you're missing!" We both laughed at that. I told her that I would love to invite her in but we probably didn't want to give them THAT much ammo for tomorrow. She agreed and after a few more (shorter) kisses we set a time to meet in the morning for the walk to school.

Mark showed up five minutes after Jan left. He wasn't in the crowd harassing us but he wasn't happy with the situation. "What the heck are you doing?" he hissed. "The whole schools gonna be on your case tomorrow!"

I laughed and told him it was was worth it and I didn't cares anyway because as soon as they realized it didn't bother us they'd give up.

He said "I don't get it. Girls are a pain and they're always bugging us. I can do without 'em".

I shook my head at his ignorance and tried to wake him up. "Mark, don't knock it until you try it. Girls are more fun than anything I can think of" then quickly added "from what I just found out anyway. That was great. You should start talking to Janelle. You know she likes you right"?

He looked at me in disbelief and said "are you sure? I mean, if I did want a girl around it would be her. Don't tell anybody but I do like her. The problem is I don't know how to talk to girls".

I said "look man, girls are just people in a lot nicer wrapping than guys. Just leave out a lot of the sports stuff and talk about everything else and you'll do fine. The best part is that there's no competition. Guys our age are scared of girls but girls our age are NOT scared of us. If you don't act like a jerk you can get any girl in our class to like you. You have it made with Janelle if you've got the guts and I think you'd be an idiot if you didn't at least try".

When I finished Mark looked at me and shook his head "I don't get it" he said "I know some of your friends are girls and all but how would you know all this"?

After some quick thinking I said "I listen. I learned all that from listening to the girls I know talking to each other. How do you think I knew Janelle liked you?"

I also had a suspicion about Mark that hadn't occurred to me before and decided to give it a shot. While I was talking I was getting out my paper and writing. As I finished doing both I took a few steps back and said "stay there". When I figured the distance was about right I held the pad up "read this".

He said "what are you talking about. It doesn't say anything"!

"Just read the letters" I said "and tell me what they are".

"OK It's strange but I'll go along with it. E... F... P... I... O... L... I can't read the rest, it's too small". I handed him the paper and told him "It's an eye chart. I remembered the letters from when I had my last test. At least it's close anyway. You only got the first two lines right dude. You need glasses. And before you get mad think! Why do you have problems catching or hitting a baseball? Why do you trip on steps and on curbs sometimes? Why are you always getting headaches? Think about it. If you could see better you could make the team no sweat"!

He looked skeptical but asked "you really think it's because I can't see good enough? I thought I was just a klutz or something. Just in case you're right I'll ask my mom if I can get a checkup".

I told him "just don't mention that it was me who suggested it o.k.? She might not go for it if a kid thought it was a good idea. Just tell her you're having problems reading the books and seeing the board at school and want to get an eye exam. Don't let them give you ugly glasses if you need them either. Make your parents spring for a decent looking pair with wire rims. If you get those ugly black things you'll catch all kinds of crap".

"Good idea" he said "I've seen that happen and always felt sorry for the person wearing them. I'd better get going so I can tell mom. Thanks, I almost hope you're right!"

I went into the house feeling like I had accomplished something already. I grabbed the paper to see what was going on in the news. The headline caught my eye right away. Next Saturday was the Kentucky Derby! I could clean up here because I knew who won.

I had watched every Triple Crown race since I was six and knew Dust Commander won by five lengths and paid over $32.00 to win. I ran and checked the cash I had saved from the odd jobs I had done.

I had kind of a neighborhood business going. I raked leaves in the fall, cut grass in the summer, shoveled snow in the winter, and did whatever else I could to make a buck. Anyway, I had over two hundred bucks saved up. I didn't spend a lot of my own money. I preferred to talk my parents into buying me stuff if I could. I saved mine for Christmas, birthdays, and the occasional thing that I had to have but couldn't talk the folks into. Now I needed somebody I could trust to bet it for me.

It would have to be my dad, no question. There was way too much of a payoff to trust anybody else. The problem was talking him into making the bet. I know he didn't have a problem with gambling. I'd seen him go to the track often enough so I thought I had a shot.

I met him at the door with a cold beer and asked him before he got comfortable. He seemed to appreciate the beer but was reluctant about the request.

He started with "that's too much money to piss away. You worked for months to get that and it could be gone in two minutes". It took me almost an hour but I finally got him to agree. He finished with "alright I'll do it if you're sure that's what you want. I don't agree with it but I'll do it. I don't want to hear you complain when you lose it though; 16:1 are long odds".

I told him if I did lose it I'd just have to start over but I had a good feeling about the horse and thought he'd win by at least three lengths. Pop shook his head and I broke the rest of the news to him. "It's worse than that dad. I want to bet a straight Superfecta of Dust Commander, My Dad George, High Echelon, and Naskra."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Do you realize what the odds are of winning a superfecta? You've got a better chance of getting hit by lightning! No, let me clarify that, A better chance of getting hit by lightning on a clear day-INDOORS!" I asked him to bet everything I had on it. He reluctantly agreed, and walked away muttering to himself.

That evening I decided to start working out. In my first time around the only time I was ever in shape was the four years I spent in the Navy. The rest of the time I was either too skinny or too fat. I never ran unless I was being chased and whatever was chasing me could do enough damage to make the run worthwhile.

I started out with pushups and figured that I might make it to ten. When I passed 30 I began to wonder. When I passed 50 I knew something was definitely different because I wasn't even tired. I was only able to do fifty pushups for roughly three years of my life and this hadn't been one of them.

I decided that a more thorough investigation was in order. I stripped completely and stood in front of the mirror. I didn't look much different from what I remembered. There were subtle changes though. My muscles seemed more defined and maybe a little larger, not enough to be easily noticed but definitely there.

A bit of playing made another change evident. My dick was much longer and thicker than it was when I was eleven. I started young before so the earlier hard-on hadn't been a major surprise. I was glad that Changer hadn't got too carried away. I wanted to hunt with this weapon and if it was too big it would scare all the game away.

I was above average before, eventually topping out at a respectable seven and a half inches. I was hoping Loki thought I could use 9 this time. The tongue was a bonus too. It used to be a little longer than average but now I could make Gene Simmons envious. I went to sleep smiling and thinking of the various usages I could put these appendages to.

I grabbed a small backpack I used for hiking on the way out the door the next morning. Jan was waiting in front of my house already, looking nervous but pretty in a knee-length sun dress.

I smiled and said "good morning gorgeous" and was rewarded with another one of those cute blushes.

She smiled shyly and said "I still can't believe what you did yesterday. When I woke up this morning I thought I must have dreamed it. Does this mean I didn't and you still want to be my boyfriend"?

I had been adding her books to mine in my bag while she got that out. I didn't say anything while I put the straps over my shoulders and settled the bag onto my back. By the time I was done it looked like she was about to cry. I took her face in my hands and proceeded to repeat the kiss from yesterday. This time it was me who got the biggest surprise though.

I had to lean over slightly to kiss her, which had the advantage of keeping the Cyclops from scaring her. As my hands reached the top of that cute little tush of hers she suddenly stood on her toes. This had more than one result. First, I was now cupping her ass with both hands and second, our entire bodies were now pressed firmly together.

I could tell by her gasp that she was aware of the situation down below. I thought she would surely break loose in embarrassment then but instead I felt her moan as her tongue brushed my lips! I was only surprised for a second and gladly invited it in to play.

I could feel those little titties pressed to my chest and my hands couldn't help but take advantage at the position they found themselves in. She finally gave one last moan and broke our kiss. We were both flushed and slightly out of breath.

She looked into my eyes and said "I wish we didn't have to go to school today"

I smiled and told her I wished we didn't too but that I wouldn't want her to get in trouble. "Do you think you could come out and play later?" I asked.

"I think so" she said with a smile "what did you have in mind"?

I told her we could hang out at my house until at least five because my parents didn't get home until after six.

She looked thoughtful and said her sister wouldn't say anything if she don't come home right after school.

We were interrupted by "Geez you two, are you going to school or making out all day" and broke apart blushing.

We had heard the snickers and occasional catcalls from other kids walking to school, though they seemed a little less vocal than yesterday, probably because we were ignoring them completely.

We were both surprised by the company. I had recognized Marks' voice so that was no shock but with him was the lovely Janelle. She was definitely interested in the proceedings.

She looked a little flushed and her mouth was slightly open. "Hi Mark, I see you brought a friend today". Then I looked at Janelle and said "Is this guy following you? I could call the cops if you want"

The looks on both their faces was great. After a little sputtering from Mark Janelle said "we ran into each other and decided to walk back and meet you two".

I looked at Mark and smiled. "That's odd. Don't you two usually walk different ways?" That got a really embarrassed look from Mark so I decided to let him off the hook. "We better get going before we're late". I took Jan's' hand and started off for school. We grinned like fools at each other when we noticed that Mark and Janelle had done the same shortly afterward.

Jan said "they make a cute couple, don't they".

"Almost as cute as us" I replied. We barely made it in time and managed not to get in trouble today other than both hearing comments about daydreaming. I wonder why?

I didn't see Mark after school so we cornered Janelle to see if she knew where he was. She told us he said something about having to leave early for a doctor's appointment but he wouldn't say what it was for. "He's not sick is he"? She asked with concern evident in her voice.

I asked her what she thought about guys who wore glasses. She looked confused and said "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. I don't really like the ones you see all the time that are big and have those black plastic frames. I think those are ugly but I kinda like the gold and silver ones. Some of those are neat. Why did you ask me that"?

When I asked her what she thought Mark would look like with wire-rimmed glasses understanding dawned on her face and she said without thinking "I'd like him even with the ugly black ones!"

She realized what she said then and stopped, looking as embarrassed as possible. I put my arm around Jan and said "don't worry. We know you like each other. I just wanted to be sure Mark wasn't in for a big disappointment when you saw them. I'm glad things like that don't matter to you. He's a good guy and I wouldn't want to see him hurt."

She smiled and said "don't worry about that. I'll act surprised when I see them so he won't know I knew about it".

I thanked her and admitted that I forgot about that. I wouldn't want him to know I told anybody.

Janelle looked at me and shyly said "can I ask you a serious question?" When I said she could she continued "Do you think sex before marriage is a sin? I mean like you'd go to hell if you did it or something?"

I was more than a little surprised to hear this from her. I knew what kind of crap she probably had to listen to from her dad. He was a Baptist preacher and was amazed to think she may not have believed it. I took a moment to collect my thoughts before answering. "No I don't. As I understand it all Christians believe that we were made in God's image. If that is so then why would sex be wrong when it's the most overwhelming urge that people have? Why don't they just suddenly feel that it sounds like a good idea after they're married? And if our feelings were given to us as well by God why is sex so enjoyable? Those are just some of the reasons that I'm not a Christian."

She gave me a puzzled look and asked if I was an Atheist or something.

When I told her I was a Pagan she asked me what that was. Jan was looking at me strangely as well.

"I believe in the Norse Gods" I explained "My religion is centuries older than Christianity. My Gods have names like Odin, Freyja, and Loki and while Christians have that big contradictory book to decipher I can give you the foundation of my beliefs in one sentence."

When both girls said in unison "What's that?" I told them "If my actions harm no one, including myself, then it is not wrong. It's not as simple as it sounds but it's not as confusing as that huge book that can be made to say whatever someone wants it to."

Janelle looked thoughtful before saying with a smile "Actually you make a lot of sense but what if somebody punches you or something? Do you have to sit there and smile?"

"That's different" I told her "If someone was to attempt to harm me or anyone else then I would have to stop them as quickly as possible in order to minimize the harm. If I am able to make them think twice about doing it again that would be even better. It would lessen the possibility of them doing harm to someone else in the future."

She said that made even more sense and parted with "thanks, See you tomorrow!"

Jan was full of questions herself that I answered as honestly as I could while we hurried to my house for our own "appointment".

Most of them were about Paganism and as with most people she was full of the misinformation churches spread about us. "What about sacrifices? You don't do stuff like killing animals, do you?"

That was the first, and most common one I had encountered. I explained using my canned response. "Sacrifice takes many forms. In ancient times, it might be an offering of money, drink, weapons, or goods. As far as animals, that usually consisted of slaughtering a boar, cow, or some other animal that would then be cooked and eaten at a celebration. It was not killing for killings sake. We actually value life and nature at least as much, if not more than, other religions."

Next was the inevitable question about the devil. I laughed at that one for the thousandth time (at least) before explaining that we didn't even believe in him, though we did believe in Hel. The differences in our version of the afterlife perplexed her, along with the people who ended up there.

She seemed angry at first that I believed that people who died of sickness or old age, along with the perpetually lazy, would be sent to Hel's domain while truly evil people wouldn't.

I reminded her of what I had said our version was like before explaining that the truly evil simply ceased to exist upon death.

She had even more difficulty with Valhalla. "That's like heaven, right? So you're saying that the only way to get there is to die in battle?"

I shrugged "think about it. If the final battle was upon you, or Ragnarok, as we call it, would you want warriors beside you or the weak, lazy, and infirm? In the final days of that battle the residents of Hel will also be released. It sounds to me like they're being kept out of harms way more than anything else."

By then we were at my house and the topic changed, to my relief. My religion didn't seek converts and didn't believe in proselytizing.

I had been looking forward to this all day. Some might think I was a pedophile but in actuality I was a healthy pre-teen male. In actuality I was healthier than any other pre-teen male had ever been. In my previous existence I lost my virginity at age 13, so I wasn't that far ahead of schedule if things went as I hoped they would.

I gave Jan the fifty-cent tour and she commented on the beautiful house with its carved mantles and woodwork. I told her that my Grandfather had done it all by hand and she was even more impressed. I wish the house was ours but unfortunately it belonged to an asshole uncle who let us live there because we were restoring it.

The first time around at this time I actually liked the prick. This time I knew he was going to sell it next year and we would have to move. That, coupled with the fact that I knew my Mom would be recuperating from surgery that would keep her from working for six months meant we would only be able to afford a home with dimensions in the range of 12x70, constructed of metal, and equipped with wheels. Part of the plan I was working on would hopefully alleviate some of the financial strain this time.

My mood was still good as I thought about this on our way up the stairs to my room but I would really miss this. I had the whole second floor of the house complete with the king-sized feather bed with the huge hand carved headboard.

I thought Jan's' eyes would pop out when she saw that. I told her to give it a try and she fell into the bed, looked up at me and said "how do you get up in the morning? This is too comfortable!" She held her arms up in invitation and I accepted.

We held each other close and started necking. Most guys my physical age would be in a major hurry to move things along about now. I know it took me almost a year the first time to grasp the concept of patience. I wanted Jan so worked up that any consideration of stopping would not enter her cute little head. I paid attention to her neck and ears with my lips and tongue between kisses and ran my fingers through that long black hair for several minutes as we lay on our sides before beginning to caress her shoulders and back.