Chapter 14

I found out that Mama's trip to California with Gerta hadn't been fruitful at all. Bea had been evicted from her tiny efficiency apartment, over a month before, and the landlord claimed he had no forwarding address for her. Mama had hired a detective agency to search for her.

By the time Joyce and the rest of the gang got home, I had changed my mind about telling her about what happened. I knew Joyce, and she would have insisted that I had promised that she could watch. I was starting to believe, if I played my cards right, I could get out of my commitment to Shirley, without having had to deliver what had been promised. She thought I'd fulfilled her fantasy, and that was close enough for me.

At dinner, Shirley had again gotten very shy around me, blushing whenever I chanced to look in her direction. It was obvious to me that Shirley hadn't been comfortable revealing her fantasy, or in having me with her when it had been realized. It made me feel better that we hadn't actually gone through with it.

Emily wasn't being shy with me though, announcing that Saturday was her turn with me, and that she wanted us to go into Bolling, for a nice dinner and a movie. She even had the movie all picked out. "Moonstruck", starring Cher, and Nicholas Cage. When she told me which movie she had picked, I almost decided to protest that it was too cruel for her to expect me sit through that particular kind of movie. The look Joyce was giving me prevented my doing that.

The movie was a lot better than I had thought it would be, and the Thai place Emily found had very good shrimp fried rice and a tasty spicy soup dish.

Emily had wanted to have me to herself so she could talk about enlisting my help in changing the current arrangement our group had that resulted in so much switching of sex partners.

I listened to her complaints, then I told her that I was leaving all of that sort of thing up to Joyce. If she wanted to change the way things were done, she needed to discuss it at a time when all of us would be present together, like at the nightly dinners.

"I've been wanting to do that, but Brenda told me I couldn't. Since we've been back, she's been being even bossier than she was before. She acts like she owns me now. Whatever I say, she tells me I can't do that. She wants to make all my decisions now."

"Emily, no one is forcing you to obey her. I keep saying you have to stand up to her. This other role you play with her, when the two of you are together in bed, I can understand why you might want to do that. Joyce likes me to treat her a certain way in bed too, but she wouldn't like it if I tried doing it that way for any of the other parts of our relationship. You should stand up to her more, especially when it concerns something that really matters to you."

"I promised I'd obey her." Emily had her resigned, martyr voice, when she said that to me.

"Tell me, specifically, what you want to have happen in order to change things."

"I don't like doing any of the all girl things, except alone, with Brenda. I understand about how I agreed that I'd be doing things with Joyce or Shirley, but that was supposed to be with you there with us too, not just doing it with the girls."

I thought about what she was saying. To me, her request sounded very reasonable. I told her I'd talk it over with Joyce, and if she agreed with me, we'd both tell Brenda not to make Emily participate with just her and other girls.

"I'll need to speak with Joyce, but I can't see why you have to do something you don't like, as long as you're willing to do the minimum that the group requires. If Joyce agrees too, we'll all have a discussion, you'll get to talk to Brenda and Shirley about it. Was there anything else that was bothering you about what the group is doing?"

"Not with the whole group, but I think Brenda and I should each have our own separate bedrooms. Things have started changing between the two of us. We seem to fight a lot more, now that we all have this whole group thing going. She takes me for granted, but then she still expects me to cater to her slightest whim."

I tried not to smile. This was vintage Emily. Her pendulum with Brenda, was beginning to swing back the other way, just as it had so many times with me. She and I had fought most of the time, and usually over things that she had changed her mind about. I wondered how Brenda was going to react to this development in the way Emily reacted. I wondered also whether them being at odds would polarize the group. It was difficult to find any one way of doing things, to satisfy so many different people. We didn't all want the same things from the group, and didn't even agree on what our primary focus should be.

"Are things really changing, Emily, or are you just reacting to Brenda now having more sex partners than she's had before?"

"Both. Look who she picked for her last two times with you, Shirley and Joyce. She does that partly because she knows it hurts me."

"She picked Shirley, just to make a point. She didn't even go through with it, not until I made her lick her. You already knew she liked having sex with Joyce and me. Things will settle down after all the newness is finished."

"She told me she's going to pick Joyce and Shirley, instead of you or me, her next time to pick."

That information really surprised me. It was obvious that Brenda must have a reason for doing that, but I couldn't really see what it might be. From everything I'd been able to personally observe, Brenda preferred guys for sex. Joyce had commented, several times, that Brenda was much more animated in bed when I was there with her. I didn't even know if what Brenda was planning was allowed. It would be very interesting if Brenda really did what Emily claimed she planned on doing.

I tried to remember how we had originally set up the rules for these days where the girls got to pick what they wanted. I thought it was that each girl would have one day with me, and could pick up to one other person to join with us for sex. I'd have to ask Joyce it that had been her understanding too. Brenda had to be trying to make some point about the sexual politics of our group, but I was at a loss to understand what that point could be.

On the drive back home, I asked Emily if she thought she might like to give her Cadillac to Gary and have mine instead. She surprised me by saying she wanted to keep hers. When I asked her why she didn't want the newer car, she said hers ran just fine, and she liked having a convertible. I told her I'd give mine to Gary then, and she smiled, and said that would be a very nice thing for me to do.

Sunday morning, Brenda announced her picks for her day. I had only had a minute to discuss, with Joyce, Emily's requests to have her own room, and to not be required to have sex with other girls, without my needing to be present. I hadn't remembered to speak to her about what Emily had said Brenda's picks would be.

We were all having breakfast together when Brenda announced that she wanted Joyce and Shirley to be her partners for her day. I expected Joyce to say something, but she just sat there smiling. She sure didn't act surprised at Brenda's picks.

I knew right away that I had a full scale mutiny on my hands. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Shirley was looking at me, obviously waiting for me to speak up. She didn't look at all happy about Brenda's announcement.

I sat there, saying nothing, enjoying my breakfast of blueberry crepes and fruit cocktail. I had said all along, even to myself, that this was Joyce's group. If I didn't defer to her, I'd be assuming a responsibility I neither wanted or needed. After a few minutes, all the X's were starting to look puzzled.

"Aren't you going to say anything, Kenny?" Joyce broke the silence.

"Wonderful breakfast, Brenda. I really missed your cooking while you were gone."

"What about what Brenda just said? About her picking Shirley and me for tonight?"

"What about it? Its up to you and Shirley. I think this pick does raise an important question though, and that's whether members of the group have the right to opt out of participating, if they choose to. I think they should have that right, but I've only got one vote."

"You don't care that you were left out as a pick?" Brenda looked at me like she couldn't believe I wasn't reacting to her announcement with more excitement than I was. She looked disappointed. She must have expected I'd make a big fuss about it. I was happy to disappoint her. I was glad that Emily had warned me first. If I'd been totally surprised, I might have reacted differently.

I started wondering to myself, if Brenda coming up with something like this, might not mean she was a lot more aware of things, other than herself. If she was, than I'd never given her proper credit for being that aware. This wasn't something that Joyce would have spearheaded. This had to be all Brenda's idea. Soon, I knew, we'd find out why.