Chapter 3: I Meet A New Love

During one of my walks with Anne-Marie, she asked me to keep up the pretence that we were no longer so fond of one another, and had we married it would have been a tragic mistake... She suggested that I could transfer my affections to Janine or someone else. At the time we were unaware of Janine's fate. In fact we never did find out what had happened to her. She was, as was I, very pre-occupied with getting me back to England. The only conclusion we could reach, was that I would have to wait for an opportunity to arise.

She said. "It is for our own protection that we do not appear to be lovers. The Gestapo will latch on to any sign of affection as a tool. You must also pretend that you do not feel the same way about me as you once did, or they will use your affection for me against you. Make out you are fond of Janine if you must, or some other lady, or else show no affection for anyone. I am being ordered to stay close to you, and I am objecting to it strongly, as I am protesting that we are no longer that close."

I was feeling very insecure, at the thought of losing Anne-Marie. I was seriously anxious about how I would get back home to the UK. The only thing I could do would be to go along with the charade as she suggested, and hope that somehow, somewhere, opportunity would come my way. Soon the time came, when I was told I was fit enough to leave hospital, and would be going to a recuperation centre. My wounds had fortunately healed quite quickly. I said goodbye to Anne-Marie, not knowing when, or if ever we would meet again.

I was helped by another wounded naval officer, with my new uniforms, and so resplendent in my new naval uniform, I was taken by car, closely escorted by two motor cycle outriders and two drivers in the car. It was a long exhausting ride to the Northern German town of Neuss. I was now a long way from the coast, and getting back to England seemed a forlorn task. It was a long boring tedious journey through a very wet countryside. The rain fell constantly for the whole of the journey. We had to have an extra escort through Holland because of partisan activity, but eventually we made it. The journey took just over six hours.

When I arrived, I found that I was in a rehabilitation unit for German Officers, who had been wounded, or had been ill. It was not officially a Lebensborn hostel, but there were a number of girls, who I understand were on the Lebensborn programme, who visited, and a small number of girls who were residents. I was a little nervous, at being allowed for the first time to mix freely with German Officers, not sure what sort of reception I would receive. In fact, I received a very mixed reception, many of the officers pointedly ignored me, or made very sarcastic remarks in my hearing, about traitors, one army officer called me a traitor to my face.

He stopped me one evening and said "Herr Nash many brave men die on both sides in this war- no-one likes war, but very few are gutless enough to change to the winning side halfway through. I am told you won the Victoria Cross, I have no doubt, that you killed many of my countrymen, who were, or are German heroes in doing that. You are in my opinion utterly contemptible."

Before I could make any sort of reply, a soft female voice spoke from just behind me "No doubt Herr Nieumier that the Fuhrer will be glad to hear your opinions. It takes a brave man to change sides in a conflict like this, and it seems to me, that you have a very loose mouth, and are totally unaware of the circumstances of this case. Perhaps you feel safe enough behind your desk to voice such an opinion, but I am sure that a man with such outspoken views about heroics will be most welcome on the Russian front. So Mein Herr I will gladly pass your comments on to the proper authorities."

The army officer concerned scampered away, looking very afraid. A few moments later I saw the reason why. I turned round to see one of the most gorgeous women I had seen for a very long time. She was quite tall, slim and a very beautiful specimen of womanhood. She smiled at me showing perfect white teeth.

"Guten Abend Herr Nash ich bin Frau Elizabeth von Epp"

She was dressed in a fawn raincoat which was soaked by the almost constant rain. Her face was flushed, and her eyes sparkled in anger, obviously leading to her outburst at the unfortunate officer.

Taken by surprise, I bowed slightly, and taking her gloved hand I kissed it. She blushed slightly, and turning towards the silent group of officers who were close enough to be watching and listening to the conversation. "For your information Herr Nash won the Victoria Cross, for his bravery in saving lives, by defusing a mine lodged on the casing of the boat he commanded, not for taking lives, as our desk bound hero here has suggested."

Turning to me she smiled, and said in quite a loud voice. "I apologise for my lateness Herr Nash, but I was delayed because of the weather. I was sent by the Fuhrer, to take you to Burchesgarten when you are fully fit. My uncle the Fuhrer is looking forward to meeting you and talking to you in depth."

As her remarks were absorbed by the watching group of officers, they melted away quite quickly, and we were left all alone. Turning towards me again, she said. "Perhaps Herr Nash you will be kind enough to escort me to dinner, after I have had a chance to have a bath and change. I understand that I am in the adjoining room to yours"

I was only too pleased to accept her invitation, and together we walked back to our rooms on the second floor. Later we had a pleasant dinner, and I found that Elizabeth was very pleasant company. She had a good command of English although I insisted that we spoke German, as I needed the practice. She kept the conversation on a very light level, but during the next week we became almost inseparable, and our relationship developed. We had most of our meals together, and we walked and talked for hours in the adjoining forests. We had the use of a military car and driver, and we enjoyed driving to the adjoining forests and walking in the woods in the area of Rheindahlen. Very often ending up in a nearby Gasthaus for a meal.

I found that she was a war widow, having had her husband killed in a raid over England. I was surprised to find, that she did not seem to show any bitterness towards the British. I explained to her that I had been about to marry Anne-Marie, but the German bombs saved me from that fate, as we found later that we were rather incompatible, and we both agreed that it would have been totally wrong, and we had now in effect gone our separate ways.