Chapter 33

Remorse

The Reverend James J. Gillis was suffering from a severe case of remorse. His remorse was really only a feeling of guilt which is somewhat different from remorse although it led to his remorse.

It wasn't as if he was a Roman Catholic priest who had taken a vow of celibacy and broken that vow although he knew that there were cases where such things happened. No. It was because he had taken advantage of his special position as the guardian and guider of girls who trusted him, trusted him as one who was supposed to minister to their needs. A cynic might say that he did except that it wasn't their spiritual needs he was ministering to.

JJ wasn't sure what he should do. Certainly after less than four months as pastor he was liked and respected by the congregation and by the officers and officials of the Church of Redemption. If he prayed for forgiveness of his serious transgressions why could he not proceed to be their minister?

He knew the answer. He might be forgiven for what he had done and it was definitely sinful. He had committed incestuous adultery with his sister in law and even though she initiated it, he was an accomplice. Then he had sodomized his young niece before devirginating her in an act of incestuous lechery. He had taken advantage of the weakness of another of his flock and with total disregard of his responsibilities he had taken her virginity in every orifice. Finally and most despicably he had taken advantage of an underaged virgin who had been assigned to his specific protection. The fact that she had initiated the coupling did not excuse his action. But all that might be forgivable except...

The legitimate remorse he felt was neutralized by the fact that he also had a sense of great triumph because he had done what nobody else could now do. He had demolished that precious membrane that was a girl's (and sometimes although rarely, a woman's) evidence of virtue. And he was sure he had given each of the four virgins great sexual pleasure.

His remorse was further debased by the fact that he knew he was likely to commit other similar transgressions. Even now as he sat in his office sipping cognac his unruly organ swelled with the erotic memories.

It was past his bedtime when JJ picked up the phone and called a former colleague. Barry Gibbs had been a teacher with him, actually a Vice-Principal of the school where he first worked. Barry had suddenly resigned, gone back to school and became an ordained minister long before the thought occurred to Gillis. JJ had occasional contact with Gibbs over the years but tonight he wanted to know more.

"Why don't you come visit me for a weekend? It's hunting season and the leaves have turned and the weather is crisp but still pleasant. And I need a break too."

JJ needed only a few seconds to look at his schedule before he agreed. They'd spend the weekend beginning November 2 at Barry's cabin in the Maine woods. Barry would supply everything so all JJ had to bring was himself.

JJ was not the only one experiencing remorse at that moment. Lieutenant John Flett should have been feeling excitement, joy, satisfaction, even jubilation. The doctor had just confirmed the home pregnancy tests and he knew he was the father of two babies-to-be, one in his wife's womb and the other in her sister's womb. And his wife was happy with the situation.

But pregnant females undergo a real roller coaster of emotions and both Barbara and Cheryl had climbed onto that roller coaster. It was made worse by the fact that when Barbara was on the high, Cheryl was on the low and vice versa. It was almost as if they were counterweights to each other which produced a good average but it made John's life a constant Hell. And this was early in the pregnancy.

It was a busy, high-pressure time at work and John was beginning to choose the work pressure to what he was experiencing at home. And the cornucopia of sexual pleasure that should have resulted from having unfettered access to two hot ladies wasn't working out that way.

It wasn't lack of desire on his part. The women bloomed in their pregnancies, their already large breasts swelling to marvelous proportions and their mouths and eyes taking on sexy, sultry appearances. But both of them were suffering from morning sickness, afternoon headaches, tiredness and generally incapacity to feel like sexual action. They just wanted to be cuddled. John liked cuddling them but it only served to exacerbate his horniness.

There's remorse and then there's REMORSE. Reverend Gillis was suffering from remorse because he thought he might have been unethical or maybe un-ministerly in his behaviour. Lieutenant Flett was remorseful because he'd maybe bitten off more than he could chew. But Bonny Smart was totally and completely remorseful in the truest sense of the word.

Bonny's remorse was because she'd not only allowed the defloration of a fifteen year old girl under her protection; she'd surrendered to her own lust and had set the stage. Mrs. Smart was not a Mensa candidate but she was observant and she could read character. It was immediately obvious to her that the girl Anita was infatuated with the minister. It was obvious also that the minister, the handsome and exciting pastor, was attracted to the underaged girl but was honourably fighting his desire.

Bonny had been an innocent (although not virginal) nineteen year old when the rich and respected George Smart had wined and dined her and filled her head with ideas of travel and a luxurious lifestyle. And on their third date he had filled another part of her body with a cock that was to ordinary cocks as Bonny's breasts were to a pre-teens budding breasts bumps. He was worldly, suave and commanding and it is little wonder that she was soon knocked up.

It was thirteen years since that magic time and George was now forty six. His conjugal demands decreased, perhaps due to age but likely due to his penchant for satisfying them with a parade of other women. His paramours ran the gamut from the shop-girl hookers that he essentially pimped to willing and wanton wives such as Deacon Ramsay's spouse.

Bonny in fact had known mainly oral sex for almost a decade. And that was oral sex that she administered to her husband's prodigious penis. Once in a while he would fill her unprepared vagina with his huge fucktool but she got no pleasure from it. In fact the only pleasure she got was the perverse satisfaction she felt from following his instructions and pleasing him with her considerable skill as a cocksucker. And that's what he called her. She satisfied her own needs (or tried to) with her fingers and she guiltily indulged in sexual fantasies about men. The object of her fantasies for the past three months had been the minister, Reverend Gillis.

It was because of her own frustration, she rationalized. That day in September when she'd seen her son David feeding the short strokes to his half sister she'd waited before she said anything. Waited until her son had undoubtedly pumped his load of adolescent sperm into the girl's writhing, receptive body. She'd envied the young teen girl's obvious satisfaction and although she had no incestuous thoughts, she still resented the fact that a girl as young as Darlene could get the release that she, herself, was denied.

That was why she had pretended to leave the obviously infatuated Anita alone with the minister. She had stayed nearby but unseen that night as the girl masturbated and then climbed into bed with the Reverend.

Bonny had watched as closely as the reflected light from the hallway would allow while fingering her own hungry but almost unused fucknest. She'd barely stifled her cries when she orgasmed as Gillis hammered his teenaged guest and then she slept beside the bed. She awakened when he'd taken the girl again in the morning and by proxy he'd given Bonny another glorious climax.

Despite her remorse Bonny continued to dream nightly of the handsome minister and she volunteered to take the turn of others looking after Anita's vanished virtue.

Reverend Gillis' response to remorse was to contact an old friend with whom he could discuss it. Lieutenant John Flett's reaction was to immerse himself in work. But Bonny Smart's reaction, along with dreaming of the good-looking minister, was more practical. She decided that this was something that warranted confession.

JJ had mixed feelings about confessions. Admittedly the confessional had supplied him with three noteworthy sex partners, his sister in law Marilyn and two virgins, Daphne and the overly plump Audrey but mostly he had to listen to the ramblings of middle aged and elderly alcoholics. When Mrs. Smart asked him to hear her confession however, he was pleased.

It was wrong, the minister knew, but he had begun fantasizing about Bonny. She had marvelous breasts, a full-lipped, sexy mouth and that scared-rabbit look in her eyes that always turned him on. She was wonderfully deferential to his suggestions and he could easily imagine that her legs would spread on command. But she was married. Except for his sister in law, and she'd been the aggressor, he had not actually committed adultery. The idea of having sex with a married woman, a woman pledged to another man, was seriously disturbing to the neophyte preacher.

If JJ had correctly analyzed Bonny Smart, her own analysis of her minister was also accurate. She'd observed the way he'd looked at his underaged houseguest and correctly deduced that if the girl went after him he would readily succumb, law and morality notwithstanding. And she'd seen how he looked at her own breasts and suspected that, adulterous or not, he would be more than happy to try to quench her sinful lust. Kneeling in the confessional, waiting for Reverend Gillis to open the screen, all these thoughts were passing through Bonny's mind.

The minister was seated across from the kneeling woman. He had on his own enhanced the private cubicle with video camera that provided an image of whichever penitent was there to a small screen on his side of the partition. Now, as he looked at Mrs. Bonny Smart he was pleased to see that the top buttons of her blouse were undone giving him a glimpse of the creamy expanse of titflesh visible above her flimsy brassiere. He fought the thoughts of intimacy with her that consumed him.

And Bonny was ready although she wouldn't admit it, not even to herself. In spite of her lascivious daydreams about the minister she convinced herself that her purpose today was merely to own up to her sinful behaviour and to ask for God's forgiveness.

"How can we help today?"

Bonny jumped when she heard Reverend Gillis's deep voice.

"Uh... Reverend... I... I've done a terrible thing, sir."

"I'm sure that God will forgive you if you truly repent. Tell me sister, what was the terrible thing you did?"

"It was... like... that day you sinned with the girl. It was then."

JJ was a bit taken aback by Bonny's statement. Was his guilt somehow carrying over to her? Was she taking the blame for his transgression because she'd abandoned her post and thereby allowed it to happen?

"But that was my sin, Mrs. Smart, not yours. It was not your fault."

"But it was, sir. I didn't leave that night. I knew what Anita wanted and I could see that you wanted her too so I just pretended to leave. I could have stopped it but I wanted it to happen."

The minister's jaw dropped with the realization that this holy, churchgoing woman had facilitated the defloration of a girl she was supposed to protect. She was, as she said, as bad as he.

"What did you see, sister?"

"I saw everything... both times that you had her. At night and then in the morning. I let you deflower her and I didn't try to stop you. I was too concerned with my own pleasure."

"Your own pleasure?" JJ's organ swelled at the idea that she got pleasure from watching him screw his young houseguest. "How did you get pleasure?"

"I... Oh Reverend Gillis... I'm so embarrassed." Bonny's hand dropped to he lap and pushed against her sex as she angled her hips forward and began to masturbate as well as she could with all her clothes on. "I did stuff... to myself... as if it was me and not Anita you were sinning with. Will God forgive me?"

"Your's was only a minor sin, sister. But God must have made you want it." Gillis could see that the penitent woman was masturbating and that wiped out any Christian restraint he might otherwise have had. "You would not have done that if something was not missing from your life. God understands those things. And sometimes he brings needy people together so they can resolve their unfulfilled needs. Are you still unfulfilled?" Horny is the right word the minister mused with a smile.

"Hanh... yeh... yeh," Bonny panted as she felt the pressure growing in her loins. "I... hanh... can't help it sir."

"I think it's time for us to meet in my inner office, Mrs. Smart. We can each say a brief prayer and then you should go in the office door.

Bonny Smart entered the preacher's office on shaky legs; shaky because she was nervous to the point of being scared but also because her body was still under the spell of her nearly achieved orgasm. The office was empty but the door to the adjoining room was open so she timidly entered.