Chapter 15

I admired my handiwork. Okay! I admired my design. All right! I admired Caryn's design and handiwork. I did teach her about the wheel, straight axle, and flatbed so some of the credit belonged to me.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Stone Age Cuda."

Nobody seemed appropriately impressed.

Come on, people! One small wagon for me, one hundred thousand year leap forward for caveman. Not going to argue it needs rims, a metallic paint job, and flames down the sides, but a little excitement wouldn't kill you. Look, the front wheels even rotate left and right, whatever that's called, to make it easier to turn.

Naris stared at me, looked at the wagon, and stared at me again. I pulled too many rabbits out of my butt for her not to give me the benefit of the doubt. Els shrugged, blew me a kiss, and skipped back inside the cave. Since a Priestess didn't ask too many questions about the Mysteries, Caryn waited for me do something godly with the wagon.

The wolves sniffed my latest invention. Snow jumped onto the bed; Beo immediately knocked her off. The gray growled at Max and Dax when the twin wolves looked like they would try to get up on the wagon. Beo didn't know what he was sitting on, but he figured out a use for it right away--alpha wolf nap spot.

I looked sideways at Naris, maybe she could figure it out by seeing Beo lying on top of my new wheels. No luck. I shrugged. They hadn't conquered fire or working together on a hunt. A hundred thousand years might be a low estimate on how far back they were from something which utilized the potential of wheels.

I had a plan; it was even a good plan. If it worked, Naris would force everyone to learn woodworking from Caryn so the tribe could have more wagons.

It was probably more of a cart. Nah! It looked like a kid's little red wagon, except a lot bigger, so definitely a wagon.

Leh ruined my moment, "Leader, when are you going to... grumble... grumble."

I wanted to ignore him. Pretty much, I always wanted to ignore Leh. Unfortunately, I was still having no luck with Wun and Parak on the working together thing. Winik and Gamen saw some of the light, but they only trusted each other so a two-man team, with them as the two men, was as far as they could go. I got the feeling they had not been treated kindly by the Tribe. Wolf-boy Lan understood about pack, but his youth made it a moot point for now. By default, Leh was my go-to guy.

The fucked up shit was Leh did get it! If only the kid would stop babbling, especially when I wanted to try out my new ride. I didn't have anything to pull the wagon--maybe Wun and Parak could be useful after all!

"What?" I asked.

"I do not mean to push, Leader," Leh said carefully. "You know what is best for the tribe."

He took a step back when my eyes narrowed.

"What's the problem, Leh?"

"There is no problem, Leader," he said, showing me his palms in an attempt to appease. "I will wait however long for you to take Li's blood so we can mate."

My heart squeezed.

"Leh." I tried really hard to keep my voice below a volume or tone of impatience. I didn't know how to nicely say what I wanted, basically 'Spill it, kid!'

"I will wait, Leader." Leh turned around to walk back into the cave. He froze when he saw Li at the entrance. She stared at us hopefully. I put a hand on Leh's shoulder and squeezed, dropping him to his knees.

"Leh," I said. "If you want Li, you need to be a man."

Being a man was culturally important to my merry band of cave dudes. The challenge would get Leh to cough it up. He stared at Li and squared his shoulders. Ooops! Squared one shoulder. I gave the kid his other shoulder back.

"Leader, I wish to mate with Li," Leh said, standing up and looking me in the eye. "When will you take her blood so our mating ritual can be performed?"

He couldn't mean--those girls wouldn't dare!

They.

I.

Fuck! I'm the idiot who said I wanted the virgins too! When the fuck would I learn?!?

"After the mammoth hunt, Leh," I said and turned around. I had not meant to break the news about my plan that way, but the girls' insanity threw me off.

It had to be a joke. Nobody could seriously expect me to do it with the virgins. Nobody! Fuck! Maybe if I spanked the girls every night, I could reel in their insanity. Who the fuck am I kidding? I know how they would react to spankings.

Naris: 'Well, if I'm going to be spanked anyway... '

Els: 'Spankings every night? I LOVE my life!'

Caryn: 'Every woman of the Anue should feel the hand of a God on their ass every night.'

I wasn't in the mood to listen to whatever reasons the girls could come up for the virginity thing. Naris probably pointed Caryn towards the virgins and dropped the reins on Shortie's psycho-religious tendencies. Instead, I went looking for Reia. She could work some paint magic on my wagon.

The Son of Fire's ride should have flames down the side!

Wun and Parak made good horseys. They figured out the turning handle could be used for pulling the wagon, so as long as the wagon was empty only one of them needed to do work. Wun dragged (pull you idiot!) the wagon where I wanted it, a blind canyon a few miles from the Anue cave.

I felt bad for Parak's extra work, but Wun deserved playing the role of my horse. If not for him, I would have held out against the Anue women's insanity. Because of Rutting Buffalo (I didn't even feel bad the entire tribe was calling him that), I laid claim to all virgins' virginities.

Originally, I had a plan to defeat the women on the virginity issue; it was even a good plan. I would put my practice of ignoring Leh's babbling to good use by doing it to the women.

Pretend to listen to their blah-blah-blah, do a little mmhm-mmhm-mmm during their blah-blah-blah, and after their blah-blah-blah say 'No!'.

I prepared for their worst by instructing Dru to bathe, slowly, at the pool near the stream. I could watch her nudity instead of the nudity of any female trying to distract me. If the women took it to the sex level, I'd walk over to Dru, get my rocks off, and go back to the conversation.

It was full proof! It was idiot proof! I needed Rutting Buffalo proof.

Started out fine. I sat on my rock and got the ladies' attention. They knew! Dripping wet, the A-Three knelt in front of me. I focused on Dru lathering up her beautiful breasts. The other women lined up behind the A-Three and knelt. The big guns!

"Wait here," I said. Taking Dru as she bent over the pool did the trick. Almost drowned her, but lowered my internal semen level enough to clear my head.

"Explain why Leh thinks I need to take Li's blood before they can become mates," I instructed before sitting down on my rock.

Els leaned forward as did Ema. My dick was still wet with Dru's juices and my cum. Two can play this game, ladies!

Caryn made the religious play. Since I'm not crazy, it didn't work. If I'm a God, Shortie, the decision is mine and my decision is 'No!'. I had to say it three times before Caryn got the message.

Els had a significantly better strategy. Some might have called it brilliant in its cruelty. She banged Airy at my feet. Slow cowgirl with Dru was Els's match. I couldn't help smiling down at the women when I took my position on the rock.

"No!"

Naris stared at me for a very long time. Not this time, baby! Hit me with your best shot.

"I would have been mated to Nek," Naris said. "That is why I ran away."

Err?

Els's eyes moved to the tree line. Caryn stood up, knelt next to the blond, and wrapped her in a hug. The women behind the girls stared at the ground. Aris leaned to the side until she sat on her hip; she stared at the water.

"Els would have been mated to..." Reia did not finish. She met my eyes defiantly.

"Lant would not have done anything about Nek," Naris said. "Of all the tribes, you are the only leader who would send Nek to Earth-Mother for me, so I would not have to become his mate."

"The prize for raping a virgin is getting to do it for the rest of her life?" I asked.

There were places in reality land where women did not get treated any better, but this was MY fantasy! Maybe it wasn't a hallucination after all. I was in Hell--the women's hell. Except there's no savior in hell, and the women were putting me squarely in the role with a capital S. Their Heaven? Couldn't be that either, if I were in their Heaven, I'd have to accept Caryn's interpretation of my existence.

"If a virgin's blood is yours..." Aris whispered.

"You could kill any man who takes what is not his," Naris finished.

"I can kill them anyway," I suggested as an alternative solution.

"It is done in every tribe, Achilles," Reia said. "It is not... , but what choice does a girl have if she cannot give her mate what is his."

"Mate with the one who took it!" I gagged on the words.

"It doesn't solve the problem of someone like Nek," I pointed out after a few minutes of silence.

"There is no value to blood if it belongs to you," Naris said.

I stared at her. She couldn't figure out my big red wagon, but she could make a society-level psychological leap like that one! No expectation of virginity would tank its value. Naris also found the fastest way to break the unspoken tradition of virgin raping--make it a crime against the Leader.

I did not like the way Aris wouldn't look at me. The other women raised their eyes.

"Wun," I said.

Aris stood up and walked back to the Anue cave.

I was too civilized to whack Rutting Buffalo for being the expected product of his social upbringing. Stampeding mammoths did give karma plenty of opportunities to be a bitch though.

It took some convincing to get the tribe on board with my KAM (Kill A Mammoth) plan. I could have pulled rank, but Wun was the most unsure about the entire thing. I stumbled slightly over my desire to kill him for the way he acquired Aris as a mate. I let Wun talk and talk and talk.

The A-Three were surprised I listened to him. Caryn, being a nut job, wanted to head out right away so she could watch me do the truly godlike feat of taking down a mammoth. Els and Ema were discussing what mammoth might taste like. My chicken joke fell flat since they didn't know what a chicken tasted like either. Naris, more concerned about the virginity ploy, expressed no opinion on the KAM plan.

Shutting up Rutting Buffalo was easy enough. I shoved a lit torch in his face to show him an animal's instinctive fear of fire. He got out of the way in time to save his beard. It ended the debate succinctly. I guess nobody else thought they were fast enough to avoid burning bush syndrome.

I did a few practice runs to get them used to the torches. I would not say the Anue had 'conquered' fire quite yet, but they were not going to get any better without seeing the true advantage of using fire as a hunting aid.

Setting up my mammoth trap took longer than I expected. I forgot the Anue didn't understand my wagon and did not account for the time it would take them to get over the awe of seeing its natural use of carrying my shit. I'm pretty sure Naris came in her deerskin skirt when I piled the wood I needed into the flatbed and directed my horseys to pull. She made us wait while she stroked and fondled every part of my new toy, especially the wheels.

The impromptu orgy was her idea as well. The look in her eye told me she wasn't done rewarding me for the one hundred thousand years of advancement. Glad to be getting some appreciation around here!

Finally, we were ready: a dead end canyon, a lot of wood laid down for a fire, and my peeps armed with torches. I had spotted the mammoth herd days before, which is what initiated the KAM plan.

It worked like a dream... except for the 'I'M ON FIRE!!!' part.

Everybody got their lines right in Phase One, perfectly understandable since nobody wanted to get too close to the mammoths.

Hello, Mr. Mammoth (They weren't really that big, though the Alpha Mammoth was something to see.) This is fire. Go that way. Look more fire. A little to the left please.

By running around like a mad man, I kept the tribe at the right distance to keep the mammoths' path of least resistance leading where I wanted them to go. Big Boy being the easiest one to cut out of the pack was not part of my plan. I tried to break the herd up to give me another option, but it became a choice between taking on the Alpha or letting the herd pass the canyon.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled as I grabbed the extra torch out of Dru's hand. No matter how much I wanted Rutting Buffalo run over by a mammoth or two, Dru's physical capabilities and Slave Priestess's obedience made her the only realistic choice for my wingman during the last bit of work needed to get the Big Guy into the canyon.

A lot of fear, more running around, and a tiny grass fire convinced Big Boy to give up rejoining the herd and save his own ass. Of course, saving his ass wasn't why I wanted him in the canyon. The mammoth trampled over the wood flooring I installed at the narrowest point in the canyon.

"Do it!" I shouted at the Dru and the A-Three as I followed the mammoth past the wood.

I looked up to see Leh where I set up on a rock outcropping above the floor of the canyon. The girls were to light the wood on one end. Leh was to throw two torches onto the opposite end. I figured starting the fire at both ends would get it roaring faster.

I headed left to grab one of Caryn and Leh's failed attempts at making a stone head spear. The thing was more of a harpoon, which made it perfect for hunting something as big as a mammoth. Next to the harpoon was one of my swords, already mounted on Caryn's spear shaft.

The mammoth hit the dead end and trumpeted annoyance. It turned back towards me. I threw the harpoon as hard as I could. The mammoth went from annoyed to pissed the fuck off when the stone head and a foot of wood sank into its belly. I'd forgotten how strong I was so that bit worked out better than I hoped. The pain disoriented the mammoth long enough for me to close. I thrust the sword-spear into its neck. That got his attention again! I pulled the blade out and spun to my left. Spin! Spin! Stop! Thrust! I made a matching hole on the other side of the mammoth's neck.

Time to diddy mao! Turning your back on a beast you've wounded and booking it is normally not the best idea, but in this case, it was part of the KAM plan. I threw the sword-spear through the wall of flame, towards the spot I told everyone to stay the fuck out of. I ran up the rocks on the side of the canyon. Prior to heading out to herd the mammoth, I practiced the run up the rocks, onto the outcropping, and the leap to the other side of the flame wall. My body knew exactly what it had to do.

Leh was still on the rock outcropping, which I had not practiced for. Clearly, my oversight to think telling him a hundred times he was supposed to jump to safety after throwing his torches meant he would do it. It was the not-conquered fire thing biting me in the ass. He threw the torches fine but hesitated long enough for the wood to get cooking. The size of the fire scared the piss out of him, and he froze.

I ran up the rocks and into him. He went towards the canyon wall while I went the other way.

I'M IN THE FIRE! HOLY SHIT! I'M ON FIRE! FIRE! I'M FIRE! GET UP! GET UP! RUN! RUN! RUN! AAAAAIIIIIHHH! FUCK ME! I'M ON FIRE! RUN! STOP! DROP! ROLL! STO! DRO! ROLLLL! I'M ON FIRE! ROLL! ROLL! ROLL, YOU FUCK, ROLL! KEEP ROLLING! FUCK! MY DICK IS ON FIRE! AAAIH!

I ripped the loin cloth off and threw it as far away as I could. Fuck this! I'm killing all of them. I'm going to claim all the females for myself and slow roast everything with a Y chromosome in my entire hallucination.

I rolled to the side and puked.

Sitting up, I carefully inspected my body. Actually, I lay back down first, had a few fantasies about peeling Leh, did a little feeling sorry myself, gave the pain an opportunity to tell me how much it sucked, and lay there some more doing a lot of hurting. At some point, the pain muted down to a barely tolerable level so I sat up and took a look at the damage. Dick first! The loincloth protected me, so past some burned pubis I was still male. The rest of me looked like a patchwork quilt. I would have thought it took longer to do some serious burning, even if you jumped into the middle of a fire fit for burning witches. Either I was wrong or I'd been in the fire longer than I thought.

"Leh is still up there," Caryn said in the way only someone who thought I was the Son of Fire could say after witnessing me fail miserably at imitating a fire walker.

Els and Naris, who didn't buy into my godliness, looked appropriately terrified by what had happened to their illustrious (for a few seconds, a perfectly accurate physical description) leader.

"Fuck me!" I whispered, seeing Leh on the outcropping. The kid looked like he would faint any second. Unless Lan did some overnight physical maturing, my only hope for a male to carry some of the load was about swan dive into a fire. I cursed myself for not sticking Rutting Buffalo up there. If it had been him, I could have laid back down and enjoyed the show.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I spat as I stood up. "That fucking hurts!"

I pointed to Parak, Wun, and Dru. They hopped to when I waved them over.

"Stand there. There. And there." I gestured each into position until they stood shoulder to shoulder. Before I could think about it, I turned and ran through the fire. There was no way up to Leh's position from the entrance side to the canyon. The run was more like an Olympic hop, skip, jump (Triple Jump) so I only touched down in the fire twice before hitting the other side.

Lucky for Leh, the mammoth was too busy bleeding to death to give me any shit about being back on his side of the canyon. I only went as far as I needed to get a running start before going up the rocks to Leh's position.

This time I was ready. I grabbed Leh and threw him at the three I lined up to catch him. Ooops! Forgot to tell them they were supposed to catch him. Hey, all's well that end's well. I jumped down past the flames.

"Keep the fire up," I told them as I sat down in a comfortable spot to enjoy the wonderful pain of having survived being on fire.