Chapter 150

Jeff had enjoyed walking around the church lot talking to some of the people who had helped with Carla's harvest. But he had even more fun when Billy started to occasionally stick his head out the front of Jeff's coat. One of the kids saw Billy and asked to hold him. When Jeff pulled Billy from under his coat and the kid saw the Superkitten outfit, the ten-year-old yelled out, "Hey, look! Superkitten!"

That brought kids running almost as quickly as the treats had. Too many hands reached to pet him as far as Billy was concerned. He became increasingly more agitated until Jeff allowed him to scramble back into the coat's inner pocket. There was a collective sigh from the crowd of children as Jeff left to return to Diana.

A couple of hours later, there were no more vehicles arriving at the trunk or treat. "No use taking all this home with us," Jeff said. Pointing, "That's Pastor Taylor's pickup. Need I say more?"

Laughing, Jeff's younger wives, along with Tate's nieces, grabbed up boxes of candy and treats from all the group's vehicles, and headed for the pickup.

"You'll dispose of the extras for us won't you, Pastor?" Jeff hollered out to Taylor who was standing on the other side of the lot talking to some of his church members.

"I certainly will," Taylor yelled back, "and thank you."

Diana and Arlene helped Selina remove the gremlin head, then the rest of the costume. The little genius supervised folding and securing it in the rear of the SUV. "I hope I shall be allowed to wear this again next year," she said, wistfully as she lovingly touched the costume one more time before Jeff closed the hatch.

"I don't know of any reason why you shouldn't," Diana said, hugging the six-year-old. "If you wish, you may wear it for our party tonight, but you obviously won't be able to eat or help us serve while you're wearing it."

Selina thought for an instant, then, "Certainly not. I would never risk damaging the costume. I shall wait to wear it again next Halloween."

Diana smiled and hugged her. "It will be shrouded in plastic to keep it clean, and hung in the closet awaiting you."

Inside the vehicle as Jeff backed out and turned for the road, Selina continued with, "I had a marvelous time. I thank you, Arlene, for allowing me to wear your costume. And I thank you, my Queen, for your having spent all of those hours creating it. I have, of course, observed children wearing costumes, but I did not previously realize how much enjoyment is associated with participation in the event. I am saddened that it is over, but I am already anticipating next year."

"Oh, but our Halloween isn't over," Diana said from the front. "We still have the haunted house, then our own party."

"I shall wish to call my parents to inform them of tonight's events. I am certain my mother dressed me in costume when I was much younger, but I eventually refused to participate. That could well have been a mistake on my part. I do not perceive why a pretend haunted house would be an attraction. However, in lieu of what has occurred at the trunk or treat, I shall withhold judgment and participate in this event, also."

When Jeff and his caravan pulled into the driveway of the haunted house, there was only one vehicle there, and those people were leaving the house as Jeff and his group parked.

"Looks like they'll be closing up early," the Prime commented as they exited their vehicle.

Fred and his group had parked beside them. Having heard Jeff's comment, Carla responded. "Weekend or not, farmers and ranchers have to get up early."

Jeff hesitated for a second as Lieutenant Mayfield told him via the radio that they had cleared the haunted house.

Diana came around the vehicle, put an arm around her husband, "We go to bed early, too," she said with a little chuckle. "He has fourteen wives to take care of before going to sleep."

Sheriff Tate stood near his vehicle talking to the people who had just left the house.

Fred walked up, and having heard part of Diana's comment, asked, "What are we talking about?"

"Oh, I was just telling them about shopping for more mates for you," Carla answered, seemingly very serious as she teased her man.

"What? No way, Woman. I have all the women I can take care of. I..."

Diana's and Carla's laughter clued him in that he might have been had, but he wasn't sure just how.

"Let's go," Arlene yelled from the steps of the house.

Jeff looked around for someone to hold Billy.

"Uh, Steve, are you and Marcie going through the house right now?"

Steven shook his head. "Oh, no, no, no. We've been through it many times in past years. We'll just await your return."

"Could you hold Billy for me while I go through?"

"We'd be glad to," Marcie spoke up.

But there was only one problem — Billy. He vehemently did not want to leave Jeff. After several attempts with a howling Billy clinging to Jeff, the Prime gave up. "Okay, Little Dude," the Prime said as he adjusted Billy's horns back to their proper place on his head. "That house is probably going to be loud. You might wish you had stayed out here."

"Mmmeeeow," the kitten said as he scrambled to get back under Jeff's coat. Billy tucked away, the Prime held his arm against his side as he had been doing all night to keep Billy from falling out the bottom of the coat. This time, Billy continued to wiggle around. Jeff suddenly remembered the heavy coat had an inner pocket and realized that Billy was trying to get into it. Opening the coat a little, he pulled the pocket open more as a happy Billy wiggled inside, then looked back up at the Prime with his big kitten eyes.

"Mmeeow."

"'Mmeeow, ' back at you," Jeff laughed as he zipped his coat partially closed. "I guess he's going with us," he told the others.

"Where do we pay?" Diana asked, looking around for someone who might be taking money.

Carla chuckled for a moment. "They don't charge. The people who do this just do it for fun, and to entertain the kids."

"Oh," Jeff and Diana chorused.

The haunted house was a big old rambling farmhouse that now belonged to one of the farmers after his aged grandfather and grandmother had died years ago. The farmer and his buddies had built in trapdoors and false walls. In daylight, most of this would be evident, but in the dark with flickering lighting barely sufficient to see by, and with props, "spider webs," and other things to distract, no one noticed. Well, no one but Jeff. His night vision and phenomenal hearing revealed everything, but the anticipation of the others' reactions to what he knew was coming, made the trip worthwhile for him.

A sign by the front door suggested that groups should be limited to a maximum of six, but the women insisted that Jeff accompany them, so they wound up with seven in the first group. As usual, the women did the choosing about who would go with whom. Diana, Arlene, Ann, Jennie, Melissa and Selina clustered around their Prime to be the first to "brave" the denizens of the haunted house.

Recorded and magnified sounds consisting of maniacal laughter, dragging chains, thumps, and hideous screams assaulted their hearing. Interspersed, there were periods of total silence followed by banging sounds as trap doors sprang open and skeletons or ghosts rushed across the rooms.

One room had an old, but real casket, partially filled with a bed of dirt with a vampire "sleeping" in it. Jeff had followed a couple of steps behind the females. Selina had looked bored as a skeleton fled across the room and out a barely-seen door. Maniacal laughter hurt their ears with its volume. There was the sound of something falling and a hideous scream that followed. The lighting went out totally for thirty seconds, followed by a sound from behind them. The light came on enough for them to make out the casket as the vampire that they had been certain was a dummy, sat up, stepped out of the casket and came after them, his massive canine teeth glowing green in the near darkness under the ultraviolet light shining on him. At the last instant, the weak lighting went out and the vampire disappeared.

Jeff doubted if any of the women had seen the trap door that Dracula had dropped through. The Prime staggered back as the women, screaming, swarmed him. Selina, unfazed, stood laughing.

"But he just..." Selina got out as Jeff put two fingers against her mouth. "Oh," she quietly said.

Jeff fought back laughter, but none of his women seemed to think that Dracula suddenly coming to life was very funny. I didn't go over and look at him closely since I thought he was a manikin, but I never suspected the "vampire" was a real man. He is damn good. Ann even touched him while he was lying there in the casket, and she obviously didn't think he was real.

As they progressed through the house, they could hear Fred's group experiencing the things Jeff's group had experienced a few moments earlier.

In another room, sticky spider webs pulled at their clothing while a moment later a spider a foot in diameter dropped on Jennie, then was snatched away by a near-invisible black line before a screaming young wife, her terror suddenly turned to fury, could extract vengeance on the rubber arachnid.

In the next room, they stumbled in near darkness. As they made their way cautiously across the room, a feeble light came on spotlighting a body bent over at the base of a guillotine. An instant later, the blade of the guillotine came crashing down and the "head," squirting "blood," rolled down a short ramp directly toward them. Jeff had to admit, in the darkened room the "person" crouched on the guillotine looked real, not to mention the severed "head."

Jeff didn't know whether Selina screamed on that one or not. If she did, the others drowned her out.

Jeff had kept one hand inside his coat much of the time to soothe Billy, sometimes even gently pushing the kitten's ears flat against his head to help muffle the sounds. Billy had hissed and growled a few times, but otherwise seemed to be little perturbed by the loud sounds. Jeff wondered if the kitten were keying on his (Jeff's) emotions. If Jeff wasn't upset, then the kitten was minimally upset at most.

The Prime had paid special attention to the little genius. There was a sign on the front door cautioning parents to escort and to be very observant of any children under ten, and the sign forbade children under six, totally.

Near the back of the house as they crept along a hallway in near darkness, a woman let out a blood-curdling scream. The lights came up slightly, and a second later, the woman burst into the hallway, her face dripping "blood" as she rushed past screaming for them to run for their lives. An instant later, a giant of a man stepped into the hallway carrying an equally large chain saw. Looking in their direction, he yanked the starter rope. The saw roared to life as he charged toward them, yelling, "Come back here, Woman! I'm not done with you yet."

None of Jeff's women took time to focus on the saw long enough to note that it had no chain. It was, indeed, a real chain saw, and a big one at that, not to mention loud in the confines of the hallway, but there was nothing on the saw to cut with.

But ... Selina stood her ground, laughing, although she was holding her ears as she did so. "Turn that device off," she yelled out. "It is much too noisy."

The big man froze almost in mid-stride, looked down at the child who was now standing in front of him, feet spread and her hands on her hips. He shut the saw off, and after a moment of stunned silence, sank down on the floor, his back propped against the wall as he bellowed out his laughter. Selina sat beside him, her tiny giggles joining with his laughter. After a moment, he choked out, "Todd is never going to believe this. Everybody ran but the little girl. What's your name, Honey?" he finally managed when he was in control of his laughter.

"Selina."

"Well, glad to meet you, Selina. I'm Dan," he said, holding out a big hand to take the child's tiny hand in his. Looking up at Jeff, he continued, "That last made all the work we've put into this worthwhile. Every woman, girl or boy and some of the men who came through here tonight ran when I jumped out into the hall and cranked this saw," he said, patting the tool on the floor beside him, "but this little thing just stood there laughing at me."

Although Jeff knew that pretending to be terrified was much of the fun for his women, he was still amused and proud of the little genius as she sat laughing with the big man. By then, all the Prime's women were back and had joined in with the laughter.

"That is one gimungous chain saw," Arlene said.

"Yeah, I used to cut timber for a sideline job when my crops were laid by."

Hearing the next group coming, "Come on, May, we need to set up again," the man said to his counterpart who had returned back by then.

Giggling, his wife took his hand as he stood. Picking up his chain saw, the man escorted his wife back into the room to wait for the next group.

"That was fun," Selina said.

"Go," Diana said, laughing, shoving her husband toward the now-visible "EXIT" sign on the back door. Laughing, they all followed the Prime and his Queen.

Hope went through the haunted house with Art, Sandra and Bobby, but also went through with one of Jeff's groups. Tate and his group went through twice, the nieces in particular, having a ball.