Chapter 4

I slowly stroked myself. Jen had just left with Ralph. As I played with myself I thought of what he was going to do to her this weekend.

Jen and Ralph were going out on dates about once a week now. They still saw each other a lot during the day, carpooling to after school activities and things like that. They had my blessing to have sex whenever they wanted, and they often did, at least a few times a week. They were totally in lust with each other. Jen always told me the details, and it never failed to get me hot. I was in sexual nirvana.

But it wasn't all paradise. I felt pangs of jealousy, now that I wasn't the only man in her life. I started noticing that, while Jen always dressed great whenever she knew she was going to see Ralph, she didn't seem to care as much about her appearance when she knew she'd only be with me. With Ralph, she'd always wear dresses and skirts, stockings and heels. She'd spend a lot of time on her hair and makeup, even if they'd only be seeing each other for an hour in the morning, to carpool to the kids' school. But on days she knew she wasn't going to see Ralph, she'd just wear jeans and casual tops, often no makeup, and just tie her hair back. It made me jealous that Jen cared more about how she looked when she was going to be with Ralph, than when she knew she'd be with just me.

There were other things I noticed. Some were little things. Like when we were speaking on the phone, if Ralph called she'd put me on hold and switch over to him. But if she was speaking to Ralph and I called, I'd often get her voice mail.

Other things were more significant. One morning I got out of the shower. I had to walk across our bedroom to get a towel. Jen was on our bed, putting on her stockings. She was going to see Ralph that morning. She looked at me, but her gaze quickly went down to my crotch. She saw me get hard as I watched her put on her stockings. I'm not big in that department, and even when I'm hard I'm probably smaller than Ralph when he's soft. Jen kept looking at my hard-on, and finally our eyes met. We both knew what she was doing. She was comparing me to her lover. She wasn't being mean. I mean, I'm the one who pushed her to have an affair with Ralph. But it really brought home to me that I was letting a guy with a bigger cock have my wife. She had said it the other day. She can barely even feel me when I'm inside her. I wondered if I'd ever be able to sexually satisfy her again.

What was worst was our sex life wasn't that great. I mean, Jen was having great sex with Ralph, and I was in a constant state of sexual arousal, and masturbated all the time. But masturbation took its toll, and the end result was I was having a hard time keeping a hard-on when Jen and I tried to have intercourse. Do you see the contrast? When she's with Ralph she's got this incredibly exciting, hard, huge cock. With me, she's got a small limp cock. This definitely had an effect on Jen. I had a hard time getting her excited. When I touched her, her nipples no longer got hard the way they used to. I always know when Jen doesn't have an orgasm. She's not good at faking it. Well, she hardly ever had an orgasm with me anymore. She said it was okay and made the normal excuses, like she was just tired. But I know she always came with Ralph. After their dates she'd come home flushed and often still panting. Her pussy would be soaking wet and her entire body smelt like sex. Often before she could tell me about what they had done, she'd need an hour or so to let her body calm down. The reality was Ralph was the man in her life who turned her on, who she desired, not me.

I was full of conflicting emotions. All of this made me intensely jealous. But it turned me on, too. So instead of pulling Jen back to me, I pushed even harder to see how far she would go. I encouraged her to see Ralph even more, have sex with him more.

While Mike was stroking himself, Jen fidgeted in her seat next to Ralph in his car. She was nervous about the next few days. She couldn't believe she had agreed to go away for the weekend with Ralph. True, they were having sex. But go away for the weekend? But Michael had been so persistent. He had even packed her suitcase. "He's your boyfriend," Michael had said. "What's so strange about a guy taking his girlfriend away for the weekend?"

My boyfriend? Jen's head had spun trying to process her husband's words. She had agreed to have sex with Ralph, not be his girlfriend. Ralph had taken to the weekend getaway idea immediately. Of course he would, Jen thought. It was clear Ralph couldn't get enough of her body. She wasn't complaining, but — her boyfriend?