It Makes No Sense - Cover

It Makes No Sense

Copyright© 2006 by Howard Faxon

Chapter 1

Science Fiction Sex Story: Chapter 1 - This belongs to the Asteroid Apocalypse genre. A retired Seabee captain keeps a large crowd alive during a 10-year vigil waiting for the earth to recover. I've modified it to reflect a more readable ending and correct many grammar/punctuation errors 2/7/09. I thank you all for paying attention to my little children.

Caution: This Science Fiction Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Heterosexual   Science Fiction   Post Apocalypse   Extra Sensory Perception   Harem  

This belongs to the Asteroid Apocalypse genre. A retired Seabee captain keeps a large crowd alive during a 10-year vigil waiting for the earth to recover.

I just had that damned dream again. I keep having bits and pieces of a dream, like lots of little dreams along one theme.

This one, I was trying to sleep but couldn't. I was shivering with cold but didn't dare light a fire. Someone might see the light. I was in a barn or garage; something like that. I was on a mattress over two shipping pallets, covered with blankets. I knew I had made a smaller room in the large one out of cardboard, using paint as a glue to hold it together.

It had six layers of cardboard with a tarp drape to hide it from casual view. It looked like a pile of crap in the corner. I slowly faded into sleep. I had a hard time deciding whether or not I really wanted to wake up the next morning. All I had to do was to pull a plastic bag over my head and sleep...

With that I sat bolt upright, gasping and sweating, my chest heaving, my arms trembling.

The night before, I saw myself scavenging canned goods from a cafeteria. Was it in a high school? Grade school? Church? I have no idea. I was packing cans into a wheelbarrow. I wore a stocking cap, parka, jeans and military boots. I had on fingerless gloves. I was filthy. I stank. I was still rational, though. I packed away a gallon of bleach for disinfectant, and appropriated a medical kit that hadn't been pilfered. It was getting dark, so I could move out soon. I hadn't seen the sun in months and the cloud cover was depressing. I remembered the months of rain before the freeze. Now it was just cold.

The night before that was a different dream, and the night before that and the night before that.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I had the shakes. My boss looked at me as if I had rabies. I probably looked as if I did have 'em. I tried to shake it off. I dressed and headed for the kitchen for some coffee. I turned on the radio for some noise. After two cups I found myself mindlessly scribbling at a pad of paper, making lists.

Something snapped. It was--an epiphany. I had to move. Fast. Somewhere with elevation. I calmed down immediately. I washed the china, turned off the radio and light and went back to bed. The dreams didn't come back that night.

Wednesday morning, bright and early I was taking notes from the phone book. I needed a truck or van and supplies. A van and a trailer. I didn't want to buy supplies where I was going to hunker down. People would know I had food and such, making me a large target. Something headed me West, towards Wyoming. I had some dealing to do first.

Later that day saw me with a two-year-old Chevy 3500 panel van and a 12x20 hard top trailer. I realized that I couldn't put much weight in the trailer because of the tongue weight limit, but could I ever pack in the paper and cloth goods. And boy, did I! As well as charcoal, tarps, rope and, well, enough said. I remembered the Y2K scare and went to the library to look up some of the magazines of the time. There were a lot of web sites out there, some still active. Long term storage of food had gotten to be a science and I was going to take advantage of it. Nitrogen packed grain was pretty cheap, and water storage was easy in 50 gallon food-grade drums with silver iodide as a stabilizer. I bought military surplus whenever I could, specially the long term ration packs, ponchos, poncho liners, parkas, socks and boots. I remembered the dreams about the months of rain.

Two weeks later I was on the road to Laramie, Wyoming. It was an easy trip taken in stages. I was still wincing at all the stuff I'd left behind. The trouble was, I didn't know when the event would occur (and deep down in that worrisome place in my mind, even if it would occur). I just knew that to keep my sanity I had to make some changes. At 7500 feet elevation, Laramie looked like a pretty good bet. Warren AFB was 50 miles away in Cheyenne. I didn't know if there were going to be any "heated exchanges", so sitting in the lap of a military base didn't seem wise, but being able to raid one if things worked out for the best looked good.

I lucked into finding an old 1950's era grade school on the market. It was going cheap due to the outmoded HVAC plant. I snapped it up and had a long talk with local city building inspector. The second floor was shaky but the first floor was in excellent condition. The gym needed some work, but it had a garage door. I applied for a renovation permit to convert the place into secure storage, got a loan on the property and went to town. I bought a big welder, cement mixer and a concrete saw. I rebarred the windows and filled them full of concrete. All but one door saw the same treatment. I spent a long, harrowing two weeks chopping up and pulling down the second floor. I bought 2 tons of concrete premix on skids and 1/2 ton of rebar.

Eight thousand dollars gave me a reinforced concrete slab roof secured by construction adhesive. You could land a Sikorsky sky hook on the damned thing. (and later did, much to my surprise) I lined the entire place with six inches of concrete and six inches of pink construction insulation board. Winters got cold in Wyoming. As a finishing touch, I had a very secure garage door put in, a hydraulic lift dock and a Generac generator. I would play with putting in an apartment and such later, but for now I had to get the supplies in. Something was pushing me, hard.

I bought vitamins by the case, as well as canned vegetables and fruit. Salt, canned meats and butter. Dried milk and sugar. Soap and bleach. Medical supplies. Baby food in cans and formula. Even diapers. Lotsa trash bags. Everything was going to get wet. I bought everything.

I made four trips to Cheyenne to fill up on bulk foods and barrels for water. The building inspector really didn't like my inside bulk propane tanks until I arranged for external venting. Four thousand pounds of security; all mine.

To keep my head above water, I actually advertised and got business as a secured storage site. The fact that there was a 24x7 armed on-site guard (me) sold several clients. It gave me an excuse to buy weapons and ammo, too.

Now, Wyoming being the land of the free, home of the brave and the number three militia state in the union, I'd had my pick of toys once I let a few guys know I was serious.

I bought a couple of street-sweepers for up close and personal, a half-dozen H&K .308s, four S&W .357s, a bitchin' bipod-mounted .50 cal that took rounds the length of my forearm, an M79 40mm grenade launcher and 77 pounds of Semtex. He threw in 20 blasting caps when he saw the size of the order. Ammo? My god, I bought ammo. If that end of the building went up they'd think it was world war three. I'd never know it--I'd be fertilizing four fields. My connection grinned like a fool when he showed me the mortar. An honest-to-God US Military M2 tripod mortar. I damned near creamed my jeans. I took out a second mortgage for that load and ammo, but it was worth it. I invested in starlight goggles, seven scopes (one for the .50 cal cost over 1700.00) and seven weapon-mounted targeting lasers. The pistols and shotguns got lasers and scopes for the rifles. I told him that if he ever got hold of any RPG tank killers or stingers to give me a ring. I think I bought him out.

I took delivery from a fully-loaded semi with a very nervous driver. I did have to buy some cleaning kits, holsters and slings locally. I picked up a nice gyro-stabilized low-light spotting scope too. Ranging in the scopes gave me pause. A certain 'Welcome to Colorado' sign took a lot of shit one night. I wonder what they thought of the .50 cal holes.

I still had rebar and concrete, so I poured a few interior walls for my apartment. I began to think I'd really made a mistake before they set. It seemed to take forever to set up and dry ... I lived with a dehumidifier for a couple of months after that. The quiet provided by the solid walls seemed a nice tradeoff.

I loved the walk-in refrigerator and walk-in freezer from the old cafeteria. A little under-the-counter Freon recharge and I was in business. The refrigerated fur storage business, to be exact. I was actually paying back the loans at an accelerated rate when it hit. Holy shit, did it hit. A nickel-iron asteroid the size of a large ocean liner splashed down in the Mediterranean sea 40 miles South West of the boot toe of Italy.

God hated Sicily and gave Mt. Etna an enema. The Israeli's problems were finally over. Christ, the entire Mideast was gone along with most of Europe and North Africa. The tidal wave rolled up France and Germany. Only the Alps stopped it. The Netherlands were gone. The Scandinavian Peninsula was almost unharmed. Then the rains started. The impact caused a crustal fault thru the Italian peninsula to open up. The inrushing seawater of the Atlantic went straight up into steam and lava bombs. At least, that's what the satellite pictures showed. There were no onsite witnesses. It's funny, though. At the time all I could think of was "there's a new name for Hezbollah-- Chum". Not so funny now, though. Despite the shock, people carried on as usual. The university shut down, sending all the students home. Some had no home to return to, as the tidal waves had wiped out most of the eastern seaboard. The sea levels were rising. All that geothermal energy was gradually driving the global temperature up past the critical point--the ice caps were quickly failing.

I spent the next week eating salads, mushrooms, fish and steaks. I pigged out, realizing that I may never eat these foods again. Fresh pizza--yum. That's where I met Jackie. She walked into the pizza parlor looking jittery. I was the only one there. I suppose that's what drew her eye. She walked up to my table and grabbed the chair opposite me with white knuckles.

"Hi. May I sit down? I need some company."

I motioned for her to sit down and dished her up a couple of pieces of heaven. (OK, so sue me. Heaven in the form of a sausage and mushroom pizza).

"Here. eat this. It's already happened, so we can afford to live in the minute."

We polished off the pizza. I ordered a pitcher of beer for us and another pizza to take home. We talked. Jackie was an athletics coach for the university. With no-one to go and no-one to talk to she was quietly going mad. I guess I was some sort of life line that night. We discussed what life would be like during the next few years and scavenging would be all that we could do until the global weather stabilized again. We also discussed the fact-to-bullshit ratio that the news was spewing, and which stations tried to advise calm while others were in full shit-your-pants panic mode. Where's Geraldo Riviera when you need a good laugh? I invited her back to my place. That got me a wry little grin.

"I don't even know your name!"

"Umm, I'm Art. Art James. I run a secure storage place across town."

"Jackie Moser, aerobics instructor." "So much for dinner and a handshake on the first date."

I just whistled tunelessly and inspected the ceiling for flaws. She took my arm, I grabbed the pizza and we headed out into the rain.

Everyone wore boots. There had been a torrential downpour for days. Some of the newer houses had slipped their foundations and surfed downhill, smashing other houses and blocking roads. Some roads were just gone The interstates were impassable except the high line up into northern Montana and across into Oregon, and up into Canada. Somehow the railroads were still operating, albeit slowly. Nobody could even guess as to how long they could hold out. The water in the ravines had already surpassed the five-hundred year flood levels. We were lucky that the electricity was still operating. When it went, the fresh water went because it came from deep wells. I was collecting rainwater, filling all the available food-grade barrels I had.

I had traded in the van on a black seven-year-old Jeep Cherokee with lug tires, a winch and an eight-inch lift kit. The trailer bought me a used snowmobile which I mothballed. I had 450 gallons of gas and 50 gallons of oil stashed. I knew that it wouldn't last for spit, but I had to make the effort.

The Jeep got us to my home, wet but safe thru the flooded streets. Wyoming is like North Dakota--they expect flash flooding and design the streets accordingly. Everything flows downhill. Just don't get caught downhill!

The electric door opener got us inside the semi-sized security bay I'd constructed out of more concrete and rebar. I unlocked a second, heavier door at the end of the bay and invited my guest inside.

I'd invested in a low-voltage lighting system to be driven off of batteries. Along with the bright-colored paint I'd used it softened up the feeling of the concrete walls immensely. The apartment took me a while to build out, but I'd taken my time and done it right. The coffee table separated the couch from a fireplace I'd built and vented to the outside. I threw the pizza in the fridge and sat beside her.

"Doing better? You were looking a little shocky, back there."

"Lots! I guess I just needed to vent, and have someone listen. I've hardly seen anyone for days."

"Some of the dorms are crammed full. They've nowhere to go. The poor kids have moved in together for company and, I'd guess, commiseration."

Jackie took my hand and laid her head on my shoulder. I shifted closer to her and put my arm around her shoulder. She took that hand and sighed.

"This is what I needed. The personal touch" she said into my chest.

"Trust me," I said. "I've been missing this too."

We simply sat like that, smelling each other's scents, relaxing in each other's touch. We fell asleep like that.

I awoke with hair in my face and an arm over my chest. I was on the couch. Oh hell! I had company! I turned my head and there she was, sleeping the sleep of an innocent.

Last night's beer wanted out, and I wasn't about to pee on my new couch. I carefully shifted out from beneath Jackie and stumbled off to the necessary. Hmm. I need a tank to catch rainwater, say 500 gallons. A bulk dairy tank would be perfect. Then I could keep using the shower and toilet without worrying about a composting toilet. I could store more gasoline that way, too once the drums were consolidated.

Alright, so I think way too much in the toilet.

I started breakfast, hoping that the smell would tempt her into consciousness. It worked. A tousled young lady soon appeared.

"Bathroom?" or something like it came from here direction. I took her by the shoulders and guided her to the right door. A moment after the door closed I heard "Yessss". I guess beer is universal. Oops. Burning bacon. By the time Jackie showed up I had coffee, eggs, bacon, toast and broiled tomatoes ready. We both showed our appreciation by silently worshiping the food. Hmmm. Happiness is a warm belly. Snoopy was right.

"So," I said, "You wanna do this again tomorrow?" Gawd, I love puppy-dog eyes.

"Really?"

"Really. If we fall into something, that's fine. If you want, we can pick up your stuff today. I need to get some stuff, too. Want to help?"

"Sure! What's up?"

"I want to put in a cistern to hold rainwater for when the city water gives out. When the electricity goes, the water will go within a day or two."

"Why?"

"Well, we're using deep-well water. Once the power goes, whatever's in the water tower is it."

"What about this place? Won't it be real dark when the power goes?"

"Naw. Let's take a tour-- I'll show you."

I started with the old gym/garage. The generator and LP tanks removed most worries. I showed her the charging array, stash of low-voltage bulbs and extra batteries. That took care of the lights. I had solar cells too. The rain couldn't last forever.

The larder impressed her, along with the walk-in freezer full of frozen meat, fruit, veggies and butter. I had cases of frozen fruit juices I think the ice cream convinced her.

I showed her the crane and grill to cook over the fireplace, and how the doors and windows were secured. We cleared out my "office"--read junk room--for a bedroom for her. There wasn't much room in the jeep, so we rented a van for the day. We picked up her apartment goods and stopped at a resale shop for another chest of drawers. I arranged for the milk bulk tank to be delivered the next day. I had to buy pipe and MIG sticks to weld the stainless tank in place and cap the top for pressure. I had to figure out how to pressurize the system but that could wait. One damned thing at a time.

She moved in with hardly a ripple. I just suddenly had a lot of "girl stuff" in my bathroom. You win some, you lose some, eh? That night...

Art???

Umph. Wa. Yumpf. What??

Can I sleep with you?

silence... "Uhhh, sure. Don' expec much. Mmm. sleeply."

Did I dream it? Nope, I guess not. I woke up with a female teddy bear again. She couldn't have messed the bed if she'd tried. You see, she had this big plug up against her back end...

I woke up with an arm full of something soft and nice. My pecker was buried between, well, you get the idea. Careful extraction was definitely memorable.

I decided on a cold breakfast that morning. I was eating my cereal in between sips of coffee when she eased up onto a stool.

"I had the nicest dream last night."

"Hmm?" You can't say much with a mouth full of cereal.

"I dreamt I was a horse on a merry-go-round. The pole was just about to push into me when the dream ended. It left me kind of let down."

I spit cheerios all over the table. "Well, about that. You almost did get spitted last night due to a case of underwear failure. Mine."

She just sat there looking innocent at me, until one corner of her mouth started to twitch. I realized that I'd been had.

I said; "Moving kind of fast, aren't you?"

"Hey, that's usually my line."

"Well, if the underwear fits..."

She looked down at her lap and got serious. "You don't mind, do you?"

I sat back and thought a minute. "No. It's just that I've been down that road before. It's narrow and nobody ever showed me a map. And after a couple of crash-and-burns you start to twitch and drive reeeal defensive."

She nodded in complete understanding. Things were quiet for the rest of the day.

I remembered to buy into more gasoline. The Jeep would only handle two 50-gallon drums at a time. That's 100 gallons at 12 bucks a gallon. I did that twice. I picked up a case of Stabile at a car parts store, too. I avoided the tank pressure problem by mounting it high in the gym. An 18-foot ceiling gave me all the head pressure I wanted.

We managed to not offend each other the rest of the week. We heard that four Semis had re-stocked the local grocery. We got together Saturday and raided the Safeway to top off the freezer. The prices were thru the roof but they were almost sold out by the time we got there. I managed to grab six pre-frozen roasts, six chickens and some fruit. She got flour, eggs, shortening, stew beef, canned tomatoes and case of white wine. We tried to buy case lots. I noticed that we caught some looks when we were loading the jeep. It made the hair on my neck stand up. I was gonna start packing a pistol.

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