Chapter 9

The next morning I went back into Missy’s room. As usual, I found Prince sleeping by the door with Duke over by the window. The pair had the only two possible ways into the room covered. When Prince saw it was me, he just went back to sleep.

“Okay, you two! Time to rise and shine!”

Missy and Robin were in the middle of the bed wrapped in each other’s arms. Both pairs of eyes opened, but neither of them moved.

“Gram, it was so wonderful last night! Robin is so nice and her body smells so nice... !”

“Me? How about you, young lady?” Robin responded. She turned her head to look at me and added, “Marty was right. She said I would awaken with the scent of spring flowers, and that’s exactly how it is. Not only is Missy a dream in my arms, but this bed is the nicest I’ve ever slept in.” With that she released Missy and stretched.

Missy popped out of bed and went to the bathroom, reluctantly followed by Robin. In a few minutes, we made our way naked down to the exercise room. There we found JJ and Maria finishing up on the machines and heading out to the pool. Although it was very close to Christmas, the pool was heated to a comfortable swimming temperature. The swimming wasn’t bad; it was getting to and from.

Missy started on her regimen and I started on mine. Robin just looked at the array of exercise machines and got on one herself. Clearly, she knew her way around because the first thing she did was to check the machine’s setting. I saw her wind down the resistance, pause, and then increase it back up a notch or two. I think she decided that her normal settings just wouldn’t make it with our crowd.

We went through our routines and then Missy and I sprinted for the pool and dove in. Robin reluctantly followed. I guess the cold air got to her because she dove right in, too. We did our laps and climbed out. I tossed Robin a fluffy towel and ran back to the house, this time going up the backstairs to the kitchen.

When Robin saw Maria, JJ, and me with our towels around our hips, she did hers the same way. Only then did I notice that she had the same all-over tan that the rest of us did. But then another thought registered: Her pubic area was as bare as ours were. When I commented on it, she motioned toward Missy and told us that the girl had shaved her the night before.

“It feels sort of odd, but nice,” she admitted. Then she grinned and added, “My grandmother — she’s the one who started the family on the nudism kick — always shaved, too, and tried to get me to try. I guess I used to think that my pubic patch was a mark of physical maturity, so I wouldn’t. But you know what? She was right.”

Changing the subject, I suggested that she have ham and eggs. “JJ uses Virginia ham. I thought it had become extinct, but she found a farmer who still cures it and she gets ours from him. She’s been trying to get him to increase his production, but he won’t. He claims that’s too much like work. So he produces enough for his family and ours, but that’s it.” I grinned and added, “I guarantee you’ve never had anything like it. Or at least nothing like it for at least 20 years.”

She took my advice, and JJ served her ham and eggs with her own home-fries.

“This is unbelievably good!” Robin raved. Then to JJ she said, “Mrs. Johnson, I hate you. I really do. After having three meals of yours, what am I going to do now? I’ll starve! Food that yesterday morning I would have rated as very good has now sunk to the level of library paste. So I hate you. So there,” she concluded with a pout.

JJ just made sympathetic-sounding clucking noises.

After breakfast, she went back to Missy’s room, closely followed by Maria. I knew that her appointment with Prudence Parker was for ten o’clock.

A little after 9:30, she came down the stairs. “I hate you all!” she announced. “Just look!”

Robin was utterly stunning. Obviously, Maria had changed her hairdo and very expertly applied makeup.

“What’s the problem?” I asked blandly. “You look okay.”

“Okay!” she nearly screamed. “I’ve never looked even half this good in my entire life! And my clothes! I’m wearing the same outfit I wore yesterday, but somehow it was cleaned and pressed and looks better than the day I brought it home from the store. What’s going on around here, anyway?”

“Oh,” I replied airily, “it’s just one of those things that Maria takes care of. She wants you to look nice, so...”

“All I can say is that if this place were a hotel, rooms would be going for upwards of a thousand dollars a night! Never have I heard of such a place or such incredibly thoughtful service.”

At that point we heard a car drive up to the door. Ms. Parker, no doubt, and that’s who it was.

I had thought that Robin intended to meet with Ms. Parker alone, but was surprised when she asked all of us to join them. Moreover, it was clear that she really wanted all of us present.

When we were all settled, Prudence Parker was sitting on the sofa, while Robin was sitting on a side chair close beside her.

Robin began, mincing no words. “Parker, I came down here yesterday to investigate the accusations you’ve been making for months regarding the adoption of Melissa by Martha Smith.” She paused and then unloaded. “I have never seen a more totally unfounded set of accusations in my life!

“Let’s take them from the top: First, you said that Missy is wasting away. Before coming down, I called Dr. Robert Richards, the physician who treated her the night she first appeared here. As it happened, he had seen Missy just a few days earlier for a regular checkup. Dr. Richards told me that he had never seen a healthier child in his career. ‘If all my patients were like Missy, I would have to look for some other line of work,’ was his summary statement.

“‘Living in an unsafe environment,’ was another of your charges. The state fire marshal has gone over this home from top to bottom and has pronounced it the safest residence in the Commonwealth!

“Now let’s look at Missy’s room which you rate as totally unsatisfactory.” We all went up to Missy’s suite and Parker just gaped. Again everything was spotless, and the only thing on Missy’s bed was her stuffed animal, Snuffles.

We all trouped back to the library and Robin continued, “Now let’s see ... Another accusation was that Missy is physically in danger. That’s really a laugh. I don’t know if you noticed, but I did: When you came in, the hackles came up on both of these guard dogs. They belong to Melissa and guard her with their lives. Why are their hackles up? Because they instantly recognized you as a threat to their beloved Missy. I’m glad you stayed well away from the girl, because had you not, I would have feared for your safety. They see you — correctly — as a menace.

“But beyond that, you may notice bulges in the left armpit of these two gentlemen. Those bulges are caused by .44 magnums. They are pistols that make very large holes. And both of these men are recipients of the Navy Cross, the second-highest award for valor our nation can award. They are armed and fully capable of using their weapons to their full effect. Understand?”

“I was right!” Prudence announced proudly. “Melissa must be removed from this house at once! These are men of violence! Such an association cannot be permitted!”

“You’re nuts!” Robin bluntly asserted. “They are men of gallantry who have bled in defense of our nation and our liberty!

“But enough of that. Back to your bill of particulars. You assert that Melissa is suffering from malnutrition. All I can say is that I have eaten three meals with Missy and can guarantee she is not malnourished. Mrs. Johnson, the cook, may be the very finest cook alive. Moreover, she’s only about a month away from receiving her doctorate in nutrition.

“To wrap this up, though, you raised a question about her education. There are a pair of assertions that puzzle me. In one you claim she’s not getting an education. But in another, you state that her reading matter is not age-appropriate. What do you mean by that?”

“Well!” Parker huffed. “She is 11 years old; that’s fifth grade. She should be reading things like ‘Heather’s Two Mommies’, not the trash she does read.”

“Trash?” Robin repeated in a dangerously calm tone of voice. “Trash? Like William Shakespeare? Like Charles Dickens? Like Cicero and Cæsar?”

“They’re all Dead White European Males!” Parker complained. “They’ve all been dropped from school curricula, and good riddance.”

“They’ve been dropped? Then all that’s been dropped is our very civilization!” Robin railed. “And you know what Missy told me? She’s studying Latin and ancient Greek so she can read Cicero and Cæsar in the original Latin, and Plato, Socrates and Aristotle in the original Greek. And you know something else? She understands both what they’re saying and also the significance of it to our civilization.

“Furthermore,” Robin continued proudly, “I spent last night with Missy. That’s when she told me about her reading plans. But that’s not all...” Turning to Missy she asked her to get her new cap, and Missy scampered off — closely followed by Prince and Duke, of course — and then returned. She was wearing the cap on her golden head. “That, Prudence, was a gift to Missy from the United States Marine Corps. You will see captain’s bars affixed to it, and that’s at the personal direction of the Commandant of the Corps! It’s a small token of the esteem in which she’s held.

“I will tell you one more thing: Last night I had more fun than I can ever remember. I was racing sailboats with Missy in that giant bathtub of hers. And that girl is joyous! She lives in a household of love, and much of it is focused on her!

“But enough of this. There will be no court claim to reverse Melissa’s adoption.

“But now to another matter: It has come to my attention that you have hired men to spy on this household. This includes attempts to plant listening devices and cameras. I hope you realize that these are felonies and are grounds for your immediate dismissal ... for cause! No severance, no health insurance, no accrued vacation or sick time ... Nothing! Do you understand?”

Prudence Parker had just turned as white as a sheet. She was truly in a state of shock. Finally she was able to say, “You couldn’t... ! You ... you wouldn’t...”

“I can and I will,” Robin retorted with her eyes blazing. “But I might be willing to give you one more chance...” Then she changed tack dramatically. “By the way, have you ever approved a family for adoption? You, personally?”