Chapter 6

I had another visit to the doctor today, but this time not with Dr. Edwards. This time I had a visit planned with my OB-Gyn, Dr. Nancie Wray. I was due for my yearly physical and it seemed as good a time as any other, besides, I had to see about getting on some sort of birth control. After all, with my new awareness of my sexuality comes the responsibility of making sure I didn't get pregnant.

I had to wait approximately 25 minutes in her outer office before being called to the examination room. Once there the nurse had me strip and put on that next-to-nothing gown that we all hate to wear. You know the one, with the opening all way up your back, where your ass shows with just the slightest movement on your part.

The exam went like all the others had in the past 3 years, but this time Dr. Wray had a quizzical look on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure right now, Chris. I want to do a sonogram. To be sure, she added. If you've got the time I'd like to do it now."

"Sure," I told her.

She did her other test and I was asked to get dressed and wait in Dr. Wray's office, which is what I did. It seemed like I sat in that office for an hour before she finally came in and sat down behind her desk, my file opened on the desk in front of her. She read the test results and then looked up at me.

"Well?" I asked.

"The good news is you won't be needing those birth control pills," she told me.

"And? The bad news?"

"Let me ask you something first."

"Ok."

"How's your period?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you regular? Irregular?"

That was a new one. I'd never thought too much about my periods.

"To tell the truth," I started, "I hardly have one at all any more. I think the last time I had one was about 3 months ago. Why?"

"We'll get to that in a minute, Ok?

"So tell me this, has your period always been so irregular?"

"For as long as I can remember. I can't ever remember having one on a monthly basis. It's always been like every three or four months before I had one. I used to worry about it but got so use to them being that way that I soon forgot about it.

"Should I have been worried?"

"No, you shouldn't have. Irregular periods are not that uncommon. In fact, for someone who's not sexually active, that can be the norm.

"Are you still a virgin?"

Now I WAS embarrassed.

"No."

"No need to get so red, dear. It's a normal question in my profession."

We both laughed lightly. More to relieve the tension then anything else.

"Ok. Now to my test results.

"First of all, I don't want to alarm you, or make you nervous."

"Too late for that," I told her.

"It's ok, Chris. It really is.

"After running the new test, my prognosis is right. You're unable to get pregnant."

Surprise doesn't even begin to tell you what I felt at that particular moment.

"What do you mean, I can't get pregnant?" I asked her.

"First things first, ok?"

I was getting tired of all the waiting, but went along. I nodded to her.

"You know why women have periods, don't you?"

"Isn't it nature's way of cleaning out your uterus?"

"That's one way to look at it. You know that women produce eggs during a certain time of the month and that those eggs eventually settle into the uterus, attach themselves to the uterine lining, and then the pregnancy starts. If the egg is unfertilized it's 'tossed' out of the uterus by a discharge of blood, thus cleaning the inside of the uterus and preparing itself for the next month."

"ok."

"Well, where your ovaries are supposed to be located..."

"Hey! What do you mean by 'supposed to be located'?"

"Your ovaries are there, Chris. They're just not functional."

"You mean I'm sterile?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

Now I was numb!

"What I found from the sonogram is that while your ovaries are there, what's actually inside each one is not the egg production that's supposed to be taking place. Instead, I found multiple lumps in each one. This means that there's no way you can produce the eggs you need to get pregnant."

"It's not cancer, is it?"

"Heavens, no!"

I was relieved to hear that.

"Can it be corrected?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not."

For some strange reason I felt more relief then sorrow. In fact, there was no sorrow in me at all. I've never considered myself to be parental anyway, and I guess this is just mother nature's way of letting me know that I'd never have children. Took a lot off my mind at that point.

"Are you ok?" Dr. Wray asked.

"Amazingly, I am." And I was!

"I'm going to give you some medication to take. They're just some hormones to help your body. Once your system gets used to them you should be fine."

"What are the side effects?"

"Surprisingly, very little. Until your body gets use to the medication you'll be tired for a while, but that'll pass. It should take about two or three weeks for them to fully work on your body and you'll have to take them for the rest of your life, but we'll be able to cut back on the initial dosage after the first four weeks. You should be fine though."

We sat there and discussed some other personal issues I'd seen her about in the past and in about 30 more minutes we were finished and I left her office to return to work.

Thank goodness it was late in the afternoon and I wouldn't have to stay at work much longer. I had a lot to think about and I wanted to stop at Grandpa Ned's and Sam's place on the way home to talk to both of them.

After I left Dr. Wray's office I walked around the buildings immediately downtown, which was only a few blocks from the office. There's a small park in the center of town with a beautiful fountain that I like to sit next to and just watch the water, the ducks, the doves practically begging for peanuts from those sitting there, and the children playing on the playground equipment.

Around here the populace seem to get along with each other. There's no 'black/white' issue and everyone seems happy with that, so I am, as well. I've never considered myself a 'racist' and I'm happy to share my 'space' where ever I sit, with someone else. We chat, we ignore each other, just whatever happens... happens. Nothing too serious, nothing to trivial. I love this community I've settled in and don't think I'd be as happy anywhere else.

As I continued to sit there the sky got cloudier and the weather began to get darker. By darker, I mean that the cloud covering was getting darker, threatening rain. And here I was, in the part without my umbrella! Oh well, I'd walked in the rain plenty of times, and I had no problem doing it again, if I had to.

When I finally got to Grandpa Ned's and Sam's house it was almost 7 pm and I could see the lights on in their living room. I gently knocked on the door and waited.