Chapter 31

I had been working my grain trading program for a month and a half when I ran into my first real problem. I had been selling into a rising oats market, and had somehow foolishly oversold the entire production capacity of all our oats producing farms. I needed to cover some three thousand contracts that I had sold, and I had less than two thousand contracts of farm production available to me. I couldn't really take the farm production either, because our companies used that to produce some of our product line,

I should have taken this problem to my Dad as soon as it became apparent to me, but, I had been doing so well prior to this. He'd been very skeptical early on, when I'd first tried to explain my program to him, so I had hesitated, hoping the market would correct itself, and I could cover enough to escape taking a horrendous loss.

I was investing in contracts for July delivery, and had sold fifteen million bushels of oats. If I started covering right away, I would sustain a loss of about four and a half cents a bushel. In all, my loss would come to a little more than sixty-five thousand dollars.

At dinner, after I had finally worked up the courage to say something, I confessed everything to Dad, right there at the dinner table. I fully expected him to be livid with me, because I had deviated from the strategy and the contract size limits we had agreed upon even before I started my trading program. He laughed out loud at me instead.

"Thomas, I see no humor in what Kenny is telling us. A loss of sixty-five thousand dollars is a serious matter." Mama was reacting just like I thought she would. I wondered what there was that my father found to laugh at. I didn't have long to wait.

"He who sells what isn't hisson, is gonna wind up serving time in prison. I don't remember the exact wording, but it comes from an old saying from before the turn of the century, Kenny. Every new trader finds himself biting off more than he ever planned on chewing. I've been expecting this would happen to you sooner or later. Three thousand contracts of oats, that's a lot of oats. Do you have any idea about why the price has been moving up like it has been?"

"No. That's the thing. It's been pretty dry in the areas where they grow oats, and that's pretty much all over, but I checked with our farms, and they still expect good harvests. There's no real reason why the price should be moving up."

"Cereals, Kenny. Kellogg is rolling out and test marketing five or six new flavored oat cereals, and they are doing heavy advertising and coupon promotions to get people to try them. The market is anticipating this will create a heavy demand for oats."

"Should I cover then, and just take my loss?"

"There's still a lot of time left on your contracts. You can hold tight and see how the new cereals sell. If they bomb, the run up can unwind just as quickly. I doubt if prices will move up very much more than they already have, no more than a penny or two more per bushel."

"It costs me fifteen thousand, each penny it moves up."

"That's the problem with being wrong when you're out there speculating. You got too greedy, and now you have to either take your loss, or risk an even greater one."

"I never liked oat cereals, not with fruit, and not plain. What flavors are they offering?" Mama seemed interested in discussing cereals when I was trying to decide whether to sell, and cut my losses, or hold, and risk losing even more money.

"Blueberry and strawberry for sure, and I think they have one that combines several different fruit flavors. Honey, and a caramel like concoction I heard. The honey flavored oats have been tried before, by Post, and a few other major regional brands. Their advertising is being geared strictly for the children's market. Flavored oats have never been too popular, and they've been tried in the past."

"I wouldn't try them. Oats aren't my favorite anyway." Mama made a face when she told us that. "Kenny, you should sell another three thousand contracts of the July oats, and another three thousand of the September. If you need more money for it, come see me."

"Bertie, you shouldn't encourage him to speculate. However, I tend to agree with what you said about oat cereals in general, other than oatmeal of course, and with what you propose that Kenny do. Senior was a real wizard when it came to predicting the grain markets. I'm sure he would have counseled Kenny towards taking a bold approach as well. Kenny, I would set a mental stop loss limit if I were you. Pick a figure high enough to give you plenty of margin for the market to continue going against you, but not so high that losing that amount of money would seriously undermine your spirits. Perhaps a nice round million?"

A million dollars. I was already sick from thinking about what I could have done with the sixty-five thousand dollars I'd already lost. The idea of possibly losing another nine hundred plus thousand was more than I thought I could stand.

"I think I should just do what you suggested first, hold on to my current position, and hope oats come back down some before the contract settles."

"It's your choice to make, Kenny. Thomas, I want you to sell ten thousand contracts of July and September oats for me. Ten thousand of each. Kenny, when you have a feeling about where prices should be heading in grains, you need to go with it. I'm not talking about risking ruin, but, you'll find there is profit and satisfaction in taking a position you feel comfortable with. Your father has told you the reason for oats sudden rise. Speculators are betting on an eventuality that almost certainly isn't going to occur, at least not in the next eight months to a year. When the immediate demand for oats fails to materialize, the spot price will reflect that fact. You will be able to cover in the spot market, and lord knows we have the grain storage capacity to hold for later delivery. Right Thomas?"

My parents were both smiling in agreement with each other. They had years of experience in watching grain prices. I knew that Mama must have felt pretty confident if she was prepared to commit the kind of money that twenty thousand oat contracts would mean. When Dad didn't even bat an eye, or make any attempt to talk her out of making the trade, I decided that their conviction was good enough for me too.

"I'm going to change my mind now, Mama. I think I'll do what you suggested before. I feel a little better about things now, Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear. My father used to love to discuss his market triumphs at the dinner table. He had so many of them too. His losses were a different case altogether, and he never spoke of those. In fact, I believe tonight is the first time a family member ever brought up having to face the prospect of taking a loss in the market. That was very brave of you, sweetheart. Don't you agree, Thomas?"

"An exaggeration about no one ever mentioning taking a market loss, but, yes, I do have to agree that it was a brave thing. I hope it turns out that it was also a wise thing, for Kenny to bring that subject up for discussion with us."

We spent the remainder of time at dinner discussing the impact of rumors on market movements. Dad told me that a number of big grain companies were selling oats into the Kellogg flavored oats generated run up. He said that when these people were on the same side of a position as you were, you needn't feel as worried about whether you were on the right side.

The next morning, I placed my orders with our brokerage company, and transferred a lot more money into my trading account. Dad had to go in and sign some papers, because the account was exceeding the position limits set for regular speculation accounts.

Less than a week later, I was able to cover on all of the May contracts because oats on the cash markets had already dropped back down more than six cents a bushel. Kellogg had withdrawn their test marketing roll out, without any explanation, other than saying they wanted to do more product testing. I closed out the July and September contracts as well, having earned a substantial profit with each.

I used part of this windfall to replace all the money I'd previously made use of out of the trusts that Uncle Bunny had created for me. I used even more of the proceeds to make a large donation to our group homes corporation. I wanted it to be independently liquid after I left for college. We added Joyce's name to the list of people authorized to write checks on the corporate account.

I had learned another good lesson after my lucky escape from my oats trade. I was very careful, after that one big scare, to confine all my trades to well inside the trading limits I'd originally set for myself.

Mama took all of her trading profits, which were far greater than mine had been, and she had Frank Clooney set up a charitable trust, just for the benefit of the girl's extension. She made Joyce the sole trustee of it, telling her she wanted her to get used to handling larger sums of money.

I called Emily on the first Tuesday afternoon after our Saturday night get together at the dance. We spent over an hour talking on the phone. I had started out by inviting her to come with me to Uncle Bunny's, but, when she said she'd rather not, I didn't press her about it further.

Mostly, we spoke about her father, and about how excited he was becoming over the way his book was progressing. She told me he'd be coming home sometime in the following week.

"He got upset with all of us when my mom told him about borrowing more money from you. She told him that we had broken up too. He said we needed to return that ten thousand to you."

"I don't need the money, Em. She probably shouldn't have mentioned it to him, at least not until after he had finished doing his research and had already come back home."

"He's almost finished already he said. He'll be done completely before he leaves. He asked mom some questions about money, and that was when she decided to tell him. We can't give it back anyway, because she already spent a lot of it."

"I've got more if you need it, Em."

"I knew you'd say that. I told my mother that you'd offer to give us more. She said we can't take anymore from you. My dad told her she couldn't. He says I need to give the car back too."

"Tell him you tried to, but I told you I didn't want it, and you could either keep it, or throw it away."

"He's going to be mad at all of us if I tell him that."

"Em, I don't want that car. I gave it to you so you could get back and forth to school easier. I have another, newer, one already. I didn't give it to your father, I gave it to you. Since it's yours, you can either keep it or sell it."

"It doesn't seem right for me to keep it, Kenny. He's right about that. Before, when we were together, it seemed all right for me to take it, but we're not together anymore."

"Emily, we can take this all the way out to a place where nothing makes any sense. The car was something I didn't need any more, and I knew a very good friend of mine would like it, and that she had a good use for it. I like to think you're still my very good friend. Just because some things changed, that doesn't mean everything changes. We are still friends, right?"

"Will you talk to my mom and explain that to her?"

"Sure. You want to go get her now, or should I call her back later?"

"Now, here she is." There was a fumbling with the telephone and then Kitty came on the line.

"Ken?"

"Hello, Kitty. Em was just telling me the good news that Mr. Carstairs will soon be home again. I'll bet that pleases you."

"Yes, we're all excited Jerry's coming back sooner than we expected. He's finishing early, because he didn't need to do as much research as he originally thought he'd need."

"Em told me that he wanted her to give that old Caddy back to me. I told her I wouldn't take it. She can keep it, sell it, give it away, or leave it abandoned along the side of the road. I'm not taking it back. I didn't give it to her because we were lovers. It was because I didn't need a second car, and a friend of mine could use one. She's still a friend of mine, and I'd still like her to have it."

"Jerry says she has to return it."

"I'm counting on you to think of a way to change his mind about that. It isn't his car, it's Emily's. Just because he and I don't get along well, he doesn't need to take it out on Emily."

"He said I have to return that other money you loaned me too. I heard Emily tell you we spent part of it, but I still have almost eight thousand dollars to give back to you."

"Kitty, you need to tell your husband to quit trying to make some kind of statement to me by harming either himself or his family. Tell him I already know he doesn't like me, and he isn't going to accomplish anything worthwhile by making everyone worry about money before his book starts selling."

"He already gave me very specific instructions to give it back to you. If I don't do what he tells me to, he'll be angry."

"Suppose you give the money back, then what happens?"

"Then Jerry will have to get more money from somewhere else. Maybe he'll ask his family for a loan."

"Tell him to do that first. Tell him you'll return the money to me as soon as he borrows some money from his own family."

"I couldn't tell him that."

"Put Emily on the phone please, Kitty."

"Hello?"

"Your mother isn't going to be any help. Drive over to Frank Clooney's office right after school lets out tomorrow. I'm putting you on the pay roll for Kansas Communities for Children. You'll need to fill out some papers, and sign some forms. I'm going to pay you two thousand dollars a month, starting five months ago. Your car is going to become the property of KCC, and you'll be reimbursed for the money you've spent on gas, and your insurance costs. If your father objects to you having a job, and makes you quit, we'll try something different, but I expect you to try to stand up to him."

"Kenny, I don't want to take money for working with those kids."

"You aren't. I'll just put the money for it in the corporation. This is just so we can do what needs doing without having your father steamroller your mom into giving everything back. He isn't going to be able to intimidate you, is he?"

"He's my father, Kenny. I can't go against him."

"Going for what's right isn't the same as going against him. He really isn't in any position to be able to afford making such foolish gestures."

"Does Joyce get paid for the work she does for the group homes?"

"Not directly, but Joyce is well paid already, and if she needs or wants anything else, all of us would make sure she got it."

"I don't want to take money for working with the orphans."

"Okay. What would you take money for?"

"I think I could let you loan me the money. I wouldn't have any problem with doing that, not if you promise to let me pay it back when my father's new book sells. He might get mad that I did it, but he wouldn't get as mad at me as he would at my mom. It might take a year before my dad's book is printed and starts selling. Can you loan me that much? Mom says we spend five thousand dollars every month, including everything."

"Put your mom back on."

Hello?"

"Kitty, I'm taking the eight thousand back from you, so you can tell your husband you did what he told you to do. I'm loaning the money to Emily instead. She can stand up to him better than you do. She'll have her own checkbook, so you give the bills to her, and let her pay them. If you need cash, you can borrow it from her."

"This is the same as what he didn't want before. The money is still going to be coming from the same place."

"You're right. The difference is, Emily is willing to stand up to him, for her family's sake. He's going to pay me back, he just hates that the money comes from me. Tell him if he hates it bad enough, I'll stop loaning money to Emily when he gets enough to pay all the expenses from somewhere else."

"Emily won't disobey him either."

"We'll see if you're right or not. I think she will."

"She never has before."

"Give her the money you're paying back to me. You can borrow it back from her until we get her a checking account of her own."

"He's still going to be angry with me."

"Kitty, he's angry with himself about getting into this mess in the first place. Offer him some other choices, or ask him to come up with a better way to keep things going until his book starts selling. If he really is as excited about the new book as Emily says, he won't have too many doubts about being able to pay everything back."

"You're forcing me to choose, Ken."

"I'm only trying to keep all of you from losing what you have. My way is practical. His way could cost you everything you've built up. Why take a chance on that?"

"I know you mean well, and I really appreciate the help you've given us, but I have to follow what Jerry tells me. I promised him."

When Emily got back on the line, she told me she couldn't do what I'd asked of her either. She said she needed to let her parents decide what was best. I knew how afraid she was about losing the house and everything. Her decision surprised me. It wasn't like her to back down and let someone else decide things like that.

The next day, I found a check in an envelope in the mailbox. It was drawn on the Carstairs personal checking account, made out to me, for seventy five hundred dollars. I took her check and put it in the top drawer of my nightstand. I figured I just wouldn't cash it. That way, if she started writing checks, the money would be in the account still to cover them.

On Saturday morning, three days before my high school graduation, Emily called me, wanting me to come pick her up so we could talk. I drove right over and picked her up. I thought she might have meant she wanted to go over to Uncle Bunny's, but she really did want to talk to me, so we went over to the country club and got ourselves a table.

"Did you get my mom's check?"

"Yes. She left it in my mailbox."

"I brought it over."

"Well, I got it."

"My father's coming home on Tuesday."

"I'm graduating at three o'clock on Tuesday."

"He said he wants to talk to you."

"Really?"

"He was talking to my mother, and she was crying. After, Gary and I talked to him, and that's when he told me to ask you to come see him."

"I can come over after we get back from the graduation ceremony. It might be after seven, because I think Mama has a big celebration dinner planned or something. Tell him I'll be over sometime in the evening."

We had a Coke, but neither of us ordered any food. We talked about little things. She told me about how Gary was mad at her because her breaking up with me meant he wasn't going to be able to take a trip to Minnesota to see Lisa Johnson, the girl he'd met while we were staying at the Disneyland Hotel.

"Maybe I'll fly him out there so I can see that box elder bug thing he was telling us about."

"He found out that comes in September. He wanted to take a trip before then, like in June, right after Lisa gets home from Maryland. They've been writing each other everyday. He left one of her letters in the living room once, and I happened to glance at it. From what she writes in her letters, I think I can guess why Gary wants to see her again so much. I think it's cute that he has his first real crush on a girl."

"You shouldn't read his personal mail. What did she write?"

"She wrote about things she'd like to try if he was there. I'd tell you the specifics, but I know you wouldn't want to pry."

"Sex things?"

"Oh yeah. Blow jobs, fucking. I've heard about those farm girls. My mother was raised on a farm, but she says she never behaved like all those farmer's daughters in the jokes you boys like to tell."

"I bet there are plenty of farms in Indiana. I'll have to drive around on weekends and see if I can find some of these farmer's daughters."

"Aren't there a lot of girls at Notre Dame?"

"It's a men only college, no girls at all."

"I didn't know that. All men? Poor Kenny."

"No, I was just kidding. I'm pretty sure there are at least as many women as men going there."

"Ha. It wouldn't matter if it was only a men's college. You'd be fucking some girl within a week anyway."

"A week? It will probably take me a week just to find all of my classes. There are thousands of people that go there. I just hope they sell maps of the campus."

"You better get some here before you leave then. You don't want to get yourself lost because you were out trying to find some girls to screw."

"I'm running out of girls here. I already went with all the pretty ones. All that's left is Steph and her girlfriend, Brenda. I think I'd rather wait and take my chances at Notre Dame. I have a pretty good sense of direction."

"Speaking of Brenda, and not the skinny one that's Steph's friend, have you heard about when she'd getting home?"

"I haven't, but I could probably find out for you."

"That's all right. Talking about you and fucking, I just naturally thought about her."

"I thought it was from talking about Gary and fucking that made you think of her."

"Are you still mad at her about that?"

"No. I'm mad at her about not telling me before she got me to take her back. It isn't any big thing to me, now that she's gone from my life, but, at the time, it really hurt me."

"I know. Are you going to see her this summer?"

"I'll probably see her at the club or something, I don't know. If you're asking me if I want to get together with her for sex though, no, I don't."

"Not even if I was there too?"

"Not even if anything. Are you still hoping to get back to being friends with her?"

"I don't know. There isn't that much to do here in the summers. You've seen the other boys around here. There isn't a whole lot to choose from. Would you be mad at me if I started being friends with her again?"

"No. Just be sure to remember that you can't ever trust her."

"She might have changed by now."

"Maybe. Still, you need to be careful with Brenda, Em."

"I need to get back. I promised mom I'd help her clean the house. Since we stopped having a maid, everything gets piled up, and she wants the house looking good for my dad when he gets back."

"I know these two girls that help Gerta with our house. I could call them, and they'd go over and take care of it for you in no time. They could probably have it looking better than you and your mom could."

"We can't afford it."

"It would be my treat. Unless you like cleaning house?"

"Ugh. No, I hate it, especially the bathrooms and the kitchen. You should see the inside of our oven, and all the areas behind the refrigerator, and under the sink. We could go ask my mom if she thinks it would be all right. I know she's worried about what dad will say if we don't do a good cleaning job."