Chapter 46

We came down in time to join the rest of the patients in sending out for Chinese take-out, which used up the remainder of the cash in my wallet. But it was money well spent. Their spirits were so much higher and lighter than when we'd arrived. Everyone pitched in and we ended up with quite a buffet and invited the staff to join us for dinner. Afterwards we opened up the games Lilly and I had picked up at the BX and the remainder of the evening was spent in Trivia, Risk, and Poker tournaments. Even the chaplain joined in, proving himself to be quite a good poker player.

After lights out I lay in bed and tried to fall asleep. I couldn't do it. Eventually, around two in the morning, I got up, went out into the hall and sat down on the floor in front of Lilly's door. Leaning back against the wood I closed my eyes and began broadcasting low levels of calm, peacefulness and love.

I'd been there for a while when I heard foot steps approaching. Opening my eyes I watched Billy-Bob sit down in front of me.

"You're up late Reverend." I said softly.

"I couldn't sleep either, but I'm guessing not for the same reasons." he replied just as softly.

"I'm not used to sleeping alone anymore."

He nodded his understanding.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him.

"You are."

I nodded and waited for him to speak his mind.

"What are you? You look like a man, and most of the time you act like a man... but..." he trailed off.

"I am a man, just a man. I have my strengths and weaknesses, like anyone else. I look a little different, but that's nothing more than a matter of genetics and misfortune. I was a redhead before my first wife was killed."

"This morning I saw wings of flame grow out of you."

"Ahhhh... see now we have a problem. You're thinking that I'm either some kind of angel or demon, right?"

He shrugged, rather eloquently I thought.

"You wouldn't believe me if I said I was an angel, and you wouldn't believe me if I said I wasn't a demon. The truth is somewhere in between the two. I'm a man... but I have a couple of abilities that most other people don't. I've done good things, and I've done bad things, some of each on purpose and some of both accidentally. You'll have to decide for yourself what label to give me. I can't help you with that."

"How do you do it? How can you make so many people feel better about themselves one minute and put the fear of God into a man the next?"

"Isn't that one of the curious and wondrous things about humans? We can be kind, gentle and loving one instant and bloodthirsty killers the next? As for how I do what I do..." I shrugged. "I was born this way."

"You shouldn't be here."

I smiled briefly. "Tomorrow's my last day as a soldier, and my first as an official employee of the CIA. I'm going to be a spy hunter. And with a little luck I'll never have to kill again, which would suit me just fine. I'm going to go back to school, get my degree and become a psychologist. Maybe I can make up for all the lives I've taken by helping people like the ones on this ward get their lives back on track."

He nodded absently. "An admirable goal. I used to think that was what I was doing."

"I think maybe you lost sight of the message and got tied up in all the various interpretations. Words are fine, wonderful things, but they're only words. They describe ideas and actions. Those are what really count. And the motivations behind them. Faith alone can't accomplish a thing. But faith in combination with inspired and thoughtful action can move mountains. You can help people, if that's what you truly want to do, but try using inspiration and motivation. Flies and honey, preacher, flies and honey. People who think they're doomed make lousy allies and worse friends."

He nodded, finally seeming to be satisfied. He got stiffly to his feet. "Good night Ike."

"Good night Billy-Bob. Sleep well."

He walked slowly down the hall, back into the men's bay. I linked with the man just before he passed thru the double doors. I shook my head sadly at what I found there.

I had just closed my eyes again when the door behind me opened and I fell back, my head landing hard on the floor with a dull 'thud'. Déjà vu.

I blinked to clear away the fireflies and saw Lilly standing over me. I smiled.

"I can't sleep." she said quietly.

"Me either."

"And I miss Izzy and Peggy."

"So do I." I sat up, climbed to my feet, took Lilly's hand and together we walked into the empty dayroom. I lay down on one of the couches and she lay down on top of me, the way Peggy usually did when we were all together. I stroked her hair with one hand, resting the other on the small of her back. Less than five minutes later she was fast asleep. Not long after that I followed her into the darkness.

Murmuring noises drew me out of the darkness. Opening my eyes I saw the night shift nurse and one of the techs standing in the doorway, speaking quietly to one another. Lilly was still sleeping, splayed out on top of me. I tightened my arms around her and very slowly and carefully sat up, shifting her sleeping form around so that she was cradled in my arms. Getting to my feet I maneuvered around the furniture and approached the pair in the doorway.

"What time is it?" I asked quietly.

"Almost five thirty." the nurse told me after checking her watch.

"Thanks. I'd have been getting up soon anyway." They stepped back as I carried Lilly out into the hallway. "Sorry about this, but we have trouble sleeping alone."

The nurse smiled and the tech, a young woman about my own age, grinned at me. "I think it's very sweet."

I smiled back at them then carried Lilly to her room and put her in her bed and tucked her in. She opened her eyes briefly, reaching out and laying her hand on my cheek.

"Go back to sleep, little flower. It's still early. I'll be here when you wake up." I bent down, put my lips against hers, linked and put a spark in her ring. Lilly shuddered and moaned into my mouth, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me down on top of her.

She held me tight until she stopped shaking, then sighed and went limp. I put her arms back beneath the covers, pulled them up to her shoulders and tucked the free side beneath the mattress.

"Sweet dreams." I whispered and left the room, closing the door behind me.

I went back down the hall to the bay, changed into my sweats, put on my running shoes and headed out, bound for the basement.

It had been a while since I'd run for any length of time, so I started out slow and easy for the first twenty minutes, then gradually increased my pace over the course of the next hour.

I'd been running around the hospital for nearly two hours when I noticed some unusual activity. Army and Air Force enlisted men were unloading a couple of covered ton and a half trucks around the back, near the freight elevator. The young Captain who was supervising them kept eying me, a strange expression on his face, every time I came around the corner of the building where they were. I shrugged it off and kept going. Whatever they were doing, it was none of my business.

As the sun came up on the first cloudless day I'd seen in weeks, I realized that I didn't have any sun blocker on, and that it might be a good time to head back inside.

Up on the ward I showered, trimmed my beard and moustache, shaved the sides and made myself presentable, got dressed, took my tray of barely edible 'food' and went to Lilly's room. I rousted her out of bed and off into the shower. While she was in the bathroom, I sat on the bed and forced myself to eat. MREs were better than the stuff they fed us in the hospital.

Lilly emerged from the bathroom, combing out her damp, curly hair, and looking very wholesome and sexy in jeans and one of my dress shirts. She smiled sweetly at me.

I raised my plastic cup of orange juice in a toast. "Looks better on you than it ever did on me."

She finished combing her hair, hopped up on the bed next to me and I fed her breakfast.

When the time for group approached we kissed goodbye and I walked to the bay and took my place in the circle.

Tuesday's group was a little different from the day before. Billy-Bob stood up and apologized for his behavior during the previous two weeks and promised not to bother anyone. He also offered to listen to anyone if they just wanted to talk, on any subject. And that was that. The rest of group was pretty much the way I remembered it from my first days on the ward. Boring.

I sat there and listened, broadcasting gentle levels of encouragement and compassion until the session was over. We wandered over to the dayroom and took our places for the resident meeting. We'd just gotten started when there was a commotion out in the hall.

"Daddy?!" a loud, insistent young girl's voice cried out.

"They're here!" Lilly squealed, jumping up and rushing out into the hall.

"Sorry guys... family crisis." I explained and quickly followed her.

Out in the hall I witnessed a reunion the likes of which I'd never imagined. Izzy was hugging Lilly one instant then Peggy was in her arms and then the three of them group hugged, bouncing up and down like pre-teen school girls, laughing, giggling, squealing and crying up a storm.

I leaned against the door jamb and watched them for several minutes, pleased, amused and feeling just a little left out. Then Peggy stepped back, looked over her shoulder and spotted me.

"There you are!" she trilled happily, sprinted the fifteen feet that separated us and launched herself up into my outstretched arms. She wrapped both arms around my neck and clamped her mouth over mine and tried to suck my tongue out of my head.

When she finally pulled back and I could breath again I saw a wicked grin forming across her elfin face.

"Wow..." was the best I could come up with.

"Did you miss me?" she asked coyly.

"Nope, caught you on the first try." I laughed and squeezed her tight, sticking the tip of my tongue in her ear. Peggy giggled and wiggled like a happy puppy.

Looking over my shoulder she must have seen the growing cluster of bodies in the dayroom doorway.

"Hi. I'm Peggy." I heard her say. I turned sideways so we could both look in that direction. She seemed very pleased with herself. Glancing down I saw that her cast was gone.

"Got your cast off, huh? What did the doctor say?"

"He was really impressed with how fast the break healed. Said he couldn't even tell it had been broken." She pressed the end of her nose against mine. "Did you have anything to do with that?"

"I doubt it." I whispered. "Might just be the healing power of naked girls. I know it does wonders for me."

Peggy turned her head to the side and stared at the faces who were staring at her. "You know, for guys stuck on the Wacky Ward they seem awfully cheerful."

"Why wouldn't they be cheerful? The three of you in one place could make a broom closet feel like a fun house." With a light swat on the bottom I set her down. Peggy hurried back over to Lilly's side while Izzy walked gracefully up and put one arm around my waist.

"How're you holding up baby?" she asked me.

"Lilly's kept me from going nuts, but we missed you guys a lot."

She tilted her head back slightly and I leaned forward, pressing our lips together and pulling her hard against me. I nibbled at her lower lip with my teeth then ran my tongue around the outside of her lips, slid my hand behind her head and kissed her with all the passion I possessed. Izzy bent farther and farther backwards. I put my other hand behind her back and followed her. Before long we were both on the floor, Izzy in my lap and the both of us holding on to the other for dear life.

"You don't suppose they're all his, do you?" I heard a faint voice speaking behind me. I pulled back just slightly. Izzy sighed happily and beamed up at me.

I got up to my knees, lifting Izzy upright, still holding her tightly in one arm and opened my other arm wide.

"My sweet, beautiful, wonderful girls." Lilly and Peggy hurried over and we had a sloppy group hug. I gave all three of them a spark and they shivered, shook and collapsed all over me.

As I did my best to hold them all upright, I saw Anya leaning against the nurse's station with a smugly pleased look on her face.

"Hey Anya. Where's David?" I called to her.

I heard an intake of air and a voice behind me spoke to someone else I couldn't see. "That's the blond chick Ike fought with the last time he was here!"

"David went to the airport. He had to pick up some kind of VIP. Once that's taken care of he'll meet us here."

"You're looking well. How's your head?"

"Quite well, thank you. How are your arms? Do you plan to hold the three of them up like that for an hour?" she laughed.

"If necessary. Wanna lend me a hand?"

Anya took Peggy from my arms and held her up while I draped Izzy over one shoulder and Lilly over the other. Standing up I took Peggy from Anya and carried all three slowly down the hall to Lilly's room, and laid them out across the bed. Anya followed me in to the room, carrying the bags Izzy and Peggy had brought along with them, set them beneath the bed then took a seat in the chair by the door.

"Keep an eye on them would you? I have to go finish a meeting then I'll be right back."

"No problem, boss."

I hurried back out and down the hall, to be greeted by questioning eyes and puzzled looks from all the people in the dayroom.

"No they're not all mine." I said.

"You sure were kissing 'em like they was yours." one young airman said with a grin.

Couldn't argue with that kind of reasoning, now could I?

"It's kind of complicated, but the simple truth is that they decided to share me."

"You belong to them, they belong to you... what's the difference?" he asked.

I showed him a half smile. "All the difference in the world. Like I said, it's complicated. And very unconventional. Oh, and by the way, the blond chick has a name. Her name is Anya and she's a CIA assassin, so try not to get on her bad side."

I climbed over the couch and took my seat. "Let's get on with the meeting, shall we?"

The remainder of the ward meeting took less than fifteen minutes, and when it broke up I was quickly surrounded and repeatedly questioned about the girls. Twenty minutes later I'd had about all I could take and put an end to things by walking out of the dayroom and down the hall, where I ran into Mr. Jones coming towards me.

"Where are Anya and the girls?" he asked.

"I left them in Lilly's room a few minutes ago. Something wrong?"

"Nothing I'm aware of. I just have a message to deliver."

He followed me to Lilly's room and I knocked lightly on the closed door.

"Anya? David's back." I told the closed door.

The door opened slightly and Anya peered out at us. She backed up and opened the door wider and let us in. Izzy, Lilly and Peggy were all awake, sitting on the bed and whispering back and forth.

David and Anya put their heads together and began talking softly. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and the girls looked up, smiling brightly.

That should have been my first clue that something was going on.

But I was so happy to see them all together that I ignored the obvious signs, and returned their smiles with one of my own.

"Lilly was telling us about meeting your commander and the young marine." Izzy said.

"And about you being invited to some sort of ceremony this afternoon." Peggy added.

I nodded. "I think Lt. Bakr is probably going to receive a medal. Maybe the Colonel as well."

"Do you think they'd mind if Peggy and I came along too?" my big sister asked hopefully.

I chuckled. "Honey, no military man worth his salt would pass up the chance to get an award and have three beautiful women see him get it. Of course you can come along, if you want to."

"Are you going to wear your soldier suit?" Peggy asked me. That got a snort from Mr. Jones and a chuckle from me.

"No squirt, I'm done with the military. I'll just wear a..." It dawned on me that I hadn't brought a suit with me. I hadn't thought I'd need one just to out-process.

Lilly reached out and patted my leg. "I figured you forgot. So I called home last night and asked Izzy to bring your suit along."

"What would I do without you girls?" I said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Run around naked in the snow and scare the horses?" Peggy giggled.

Izzy got off the bed, ducked down and brought out one of the bags. She stood up and handed it to me.

"Go and get dressed... we need to get changed too."

That should have been my second clue, but for some reason my head was elsewhere.

"Awww... I don't get to watch?"

Izzy smirked at me, wiggling her eyebrows. "Not if you actually plan to be ready on time. Now scoot!"

I took the bag and left, leaving the girls in the care of Anya and Mr. Jones.

After changing into my suit, combing my hair and giving my shoes a quick buffing, I sat on my bed in the open bay staring off into space. Something was tickling the back of my mind, trying to get my attention, but for the life of me I couldn't get it to come forward and into focus.

Eventually I got bored and frustrated, so I stopped thinking, got up and walked out into the hall. It was empty. So were the dayroom and nurse's station. The clock on the wall told me it was just after noon, and while it seemed reasonable that some people might have gone down to the main cafeteria for lunch, not all of them would have.

It was very quiet, and I was starting to get seriously paranoid.

I headed straight to Lilly's room and knocked on the door. No answer. I couldn't hear any sounds behind the door, so I turned the knob and pushed the door open. The room was empty. No sign of the girls, no sign of Anya or Mr. Jones.

My paranoia blossomed full and panic began to set in. I checked the bathroom. Nothing.

Throwing open the room's door, I stalked back out into the hall, my head lowered and swinging side to side, eyes narrowed, heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to get my hands on someone... anyone... very badly and get some answers. I started broadcasting malice and anger. I could feel the heat start to build.

I headed towards the doctor's offices.

The place was so damn quiet and empty. No one was around. As I rounded the corner the elevator doors opened and Colonel Erickson and Lt. Bakr stepped out, dressed in full Class A uniforms. Behind them in the elevator were two large men in dark suits.

"You have excellent timing Ghost. The ceremony's been moved up... scheduling conflict of some kind. Let's get going, shall we?" the Colonel said.

"I'm not going anywhere until I find out where my girls are." I snapped, trying to step around the two of them.

"Whoa there, soldier." He said, putting a hand in the middle of my chest and pushing me back. I could see the blood draining from his face as my broadcasting began to have an impact, but he stood his ground, as did the Lt. Neither one looked very comfortable, but both were combat tested veterans and not about to back down. "Your ladies have already been escorted to their seats... both their bodyguards are with them. Calm down, alright?"

I blinked, linked with the man and felt the honesty in him and his words. I took a deep breath, stepped back and stood upright.

"Where exactly is this ceremony taking place Colonel?"

He looked me right in the eye. "The floor right above us."

I stopped broadcasting. I took a deep breath and sighed. The nagging thought that had been lurking at the back of my mind stepped out front and mooned me.

"Come on Ghost... it's time." Lt. Bakr said quietly.

The two of them pushed me into the elevator and stood on either side as the doors closed.

"I don't want this." I told them.

"I know. But there are times when what we want doesn't matter." the Colonel told me.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. The day before there had only been piles of old gym mats. Now it was filled with padded folding chairs arranged in nice neat ranks. Against the near wall, where the mats had been, were tall flags in their stands, one for each branch of the military, and two US flags flanking a portable lectern, and additional chairs spread out like wings.

Most of the seats were filled. There were Army, Air Force and Marine four star generals, an Admiral with lots of gold braid on his sleeves, three civilians in expensive suits, and more big men in sunglasses like the ones in the elevator behind me. In the seats before the lectern I saw the residents of the Psych Ward, the floor nurse, Colonel DeBerg and the med techs. In the front row were Izzy, Lilly and Peggy... and sitting next to Izzy was my father. Sitting next to him was Dr. Wills and on his left was Mr. MacGill, the President's National Security Advisor. Next to Peggy were Anya and David Jones, looking very smug and pleased with themselves.

Colonel Erickson and Lt. Bakr dragged me out of the elevator and we took our seats at the left side of the lectern.

Looking out at all of the faces arrayed before me I started getting hot under the collar and began broadcasting my irritation and unease. Peggy tilted her head and glared at me.

"Behave yourself." she warned.

I put a clamp on my feelings and her glare turned into a sweet smile that softened my aggravation.

Colonel Erickson and Lt. Bakr both released sighs of relief.

"Sorry." I whispered.

"Ten-shun!" a loud voice from the back row bellowed, and all the military personnel present got to their feet. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States!"

From the doors at the left emerged a phalanx of the dark suited men and in the center of that group I saw the face of the man I'd given a woodie to via the TV. He approached the lectern and his escort spread out behind and around the room. The President smiled briefly and took his seat next to the big brass contingent.

"Please, be seated." the man said, in his light Texas twang.

We all sat back down, with the exception of Colonel Erickson, who moved forward and stood behind the lectern.

"Citation to accompany the award of the Silver Star..." he began, and read the summary of our mission into Iraq and Lt. Bakr's part in the operation. When he finished reading, he turned towards where the Lt. and I were sitting and nodded his head. Lt. Bakr stood up and turned like he was on parade, marching forward to stand before the Colonel and the President who moved to stand next to him. The President removed the medal from the box Colonel Erickson held out to him and pinned it on the Lt.'s chest over his existing rows of ribbons, smiled widely and shook hands with the young marine.

"Congratulations Lieutenant. Quite an accomplishment." he said.

"Thank you, Mr. President." the Lt. replied and snapped of one of the sharpest salutes I've ever seen.

He did a picture perfect 'about face' and marched back, to the applause of everyone present, including me. I stood up grinning and clapped him on the back.

"Congratulations Ell-tee."

"Couldn't have done it without you Ike." he said quietly.

"Bullshit." I laughed. "You had the hard part. Toting that general while staying out of sight couldn't have been as easy as it sounded."

We sat back down, as did the President.

"Citation to accompany the award of the Silver Star..." Colonel Erickson read again, once the applause had died down sufficiently. This time he gave a summary of the incident at the Kuwaiti-Saudi border where I'd killed the mortar crew. The citation made it seem a lot more impressive than it had been. But when he finished reading, instead of nodding for me stand, he picked up another page and began reading from it.

"Citation to accompany the award of the Medal of Honor to Sergeant Ike Blacktower...

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Sergeant Blacktower distinguished himself while serving as part of a two man reconnaissance team behind enemy lines on a Top Secret intelligence operation. The team was inserted by helicopter thirty five miles into enemy territory to locate, capture and return with an enemy General Officer. During the initial period of the operation Sgt. Blacktower aggressively and courageously eliminated armed resistance making it possible for the team to achieve the first of their mission objectives. On 16 January Sgt. Blacktower volunteered to remain behind and act as a decoy to ensure his teammate and their prisoner could withdraw in safety, reach the designated extraction point and complete their mission. Alone and armed only with small arms, Sgt. Blacktower engaged an armored personnel carrier, heavy automatic weapons, rocket propelled grenades, and small-arms fire of an estimated 55 man force in a deadly game of cat and mouse for more than nine hours, inflicting numerous casualties on the enemy force. During the night Sgt. Blacktower moved into the enemy's fortified encampment, infiltrated their defenses and killed the remaining compliment of enemy soldiers, receiving two gunshot wounds during the firefight. Unable to call for extraction, his radio having been damaged during combat, grievously wounded and in extreme pain, Sgt. Blacktower made his way back to friendly territory on foot, along the way encountering and destroying a motorized infantry unit consisting of 25 enemy soldiers. Avoiding detection and evading capture for six days he made his way thru open desert and enemy minefields, returning to coalition lines with two enemy prisoners that he insisted be cared for before allowing his own wounds to be treated. Sgt Blacktower, by his extraordinary heroism, professional competence, and unflagging dedication to his mission, destroyed two superior enemy forces leaving 80 dead on the battlefield. His bravery and gallantry at the risk of his life are in the highest traditions of the military service. Sergeant Blacktower has reflected great credit on himself, his unit, and the U.S. Army."

Colonel Erickson set the paper down and nodded to me. I stood up slowly and approached him. The President stood at the same time and we stood across from one another. He took the pale blue ribbon with all the stars on it from the box and spread it open.

I shook my head.

"No. Thank you, but I can't accept." I said very softly to him. He looked up at me, smiling faintly. "Nothing I did was in the least bit gallant, intrepid, brave or heroic."

Colonel Erickson looked at me and then turned his head towards the President who looked back at him.

"I did warn you, sir." he said under his breath.

"You did Colonel. Still, it is a novel experience." He lowered his hands, and the Medal with them, and looked up into my face. "Sergeant, I understand your reluctance. Very few people who have performed heroic actions consider themselves heroes. It speaks well of your character that you don't. But the simple fact of the matter is that you are not qualified to make the decision. Whether you think so or not, it's the opinion of other people that matter in this instance. Your superiors in the military and the members of Congress have declared you to be a hero. That makes you a hero."

"Mr. President, with all due respect, the military and Congress can declare me a duck, but it won't make me one."

His eyes got big and a belly laugh burst from him.

"Sergeant, most acts of heroism go unnoticed and unappreciated." the President said after he finished laughing. "Every so often we do notice and we, the people those acts are performed for, want to acknowledge the courage, the skill, the dedication and the luck that makes a hero out of a regular person... hoping that we have those qualities you exhibit and which we value so highly within ourselves. We're proud of you and admire what you've accomplished... your actions inspire us and, hopefully, encourage us to be better people than we might be without your example."

I shook my head sadly, took a deep breath and looked over to where my father and my girls were sitting.

The girls were all beaming at me and my dad was about as puffed up with pride as a man could get.

"Alright, I'll accept it... but I still think it's a mistake."

I turned back to face the President, lowered my head and he hung the ribbon around my neck and arranged it over my shoulders.

"If it makes you feel any better Sergeant, because of the type of operation you and the Lieutenant were on, the only people who'll ever know about it are in this room right now. We generally like to award the Medal more ostentatiously." he told me.

He held out his hand. I reached out and wrapped my larger one around his and we shook.

"Congratulations, Mr. Blacktower." He leaned closer and lowered his voice. "Mac MacGill tells me you refused an offer to work for him."