Chapter 40

We searched the house from top to bottom for nearly two hours and couldn't find hide nor hair of the elder Van Lutens. I was getting depressed, mostly at not being able to keep Carlie's promise, but also over the death of Charlie. And not for the reasons you might think.

I was convinced that her death had been a necessary evil. I regretted that she had died before I could find out what had happened to her folks, and even more than that I regretted that Izzy and Lilly had felt they had to shoot her to save me. I would have to keep a close watch on them to be sure that they didn't suffer for what they'd done.

I scorched the wall with the blood and bullet holes and made sure that the fire was completely out then we left the house and walked back to the car. Lilly drove, with Izzy riding shotgun, while Peggy and I sat in the back. Lilly and Izzy whispered back and forth quietly, while Peggy pulled my arm around her shoulders and cuddled up next to me. The long ride was quiet for the most part and I had plenty of time to think.

Charlie had obviously been some kind of telepath, able to read thoughts and memories. She could also manipulate those memories and thoughts to some degree, which explained why the Sheriff was so willing and eager to eliminate us, even after I'd shown him he shouldn't mess with us. It might also explain why we couldn't find any trace of her parents. Charlie might have killed them years ago, or they might have died naturally, and she'd used her abilities to conceal it from the town. We'd found no trace of her parents, but also no trace hint that there'd been other people in the house for a very long time. No staff, no parents, no nothing.

I'd been in no real danger from Charlie's manipulation of my memories. I realized that from her very first effort. I could tell it wasn't real. Why I was able to make that distinction is something I'm still not quite sure of, but I think it's because I couldn't feel anything from anyone. That simple fact made everything else so two dimensional that her illusions were more like walking thru a life sized pop-up book than anything else. That and my unwillingness to go back and relive my past. Not that there weren't things worth reliving. Maybe I was still too young and the pain still too fresh. Who knows? I could have forced Charlie to stop anytime I wanted to, but deep down I wasn't willing to simply blast her if there was any chance of convincing her to stop on her own. But the girls didn't know that... and there was no way in hell I'd ever tell them otherwise.

When we got back to McLean I filled in Dr. Wills on our activities. I didn't want what had happened to catch him unawares and I wasn't going to let my mistakes bite anyone else in the ass if I could prevent it. He said he'd have Joshua and Grant poke around Dover for a day or two and let me know if anything turned up.

The four of us took the helicopter back to the ranch, arriving well after dark. Mr. Jones and Anya met us on the lawn, looking flushed but rather smugly pleased with themselves. We had a late cold-cut supper, drank far too much wine and then headed up to our rooms. David and Anya didn't even pretend to go to separate rooms, making a beeline for his at the far end of the hall, while the girls and I quickly stripped down and dove into the hot-tub, after taping a trash bag over Peggy's cast.

In time we all ended up in bed and eventually fell asleep.

The next few days passed in a blur. I read a lot, and the girls kept to themselves mostly, moving between the hot-tub, the horses and the rec room.

Three days after our return to the ranch I sat down with Anya and Mr. Jones in the living room.

"Have you given any thought to what we talked about?" I asked Mr. Jones.

"Yes, quite a bit. I'm willing to go thru with it." he replied in his rock-crusher voice.

"You'll never be able to hide anything from one another, no matter how small or insignificant. We're talking about being emotionally joined at the hip."

"I've already told Anya all my darkest secrets. I want her with me, no matter what it takes."

I nodded. "Okay. If you're willing to sacrifice your independence for permanent interdependence... and I do mean permanent... it's only fair to tell you that I may have found a way to restore Anya's free will. May have. I don't know if it will work on her like it did for me, but I think it's worth trying before we tie you together for good."

"How... what?"

I raised my hand to forestall his questions. "What I did to Anya is very similar to something I did to myself when my first wife died. I created a never-ending loop of pain and suffering inside and locked it in place. I couldn't break it, no matter what I tried. What I did to Anya was kind of like that, but with different emotions. When I was in Dover saying goodbye to Carlie I destroyed that loop and washed all those emotions out. The thing is, I can't do for Anya exactly what I did to myself for several reasons... not the least of which is that I don't love her. I care about her but I don't love her. But if you love each other enough I might be able to use your emotions to destroy the loop in her."

"Is there any chance this could hurt her?" David asked pointedly.

I turned to Anya. "Anya, you remember what it felt like when I gave you that hour long orgasm, right?"

She nodded her head and winced at the memory.

"It won't last as long as that and it probably won't hurt, but I can't tell you it won't hurt. The intensity of the feelings required to destroy the loop will be rather severe, but we aren't talking about orgasm or even lust. This will be Love. Love hurts... it's an old cliché but it also happens to be true. Love is a wonderful emotion, but it isn't always pleasant. And the stronger the emotion the more it can hurt. I'll let you both in on a little family secret. Every single day I give my three girls a teeny-tiny spark of the love I feel for them to keep inside. They each have a loop I made for them out of that love and the sparks add to those loops. Those tiny little sparks usually make them pass out. The full force puts them out cold every single time. But the power of my love for them is what makes me able to control the darkest emotions in me. That's Love for you in a nutshell; salvation or destruction complete in one compact little package."

"Why doesn't it destroy you then?" Anya asked, joining the conversation for the first time.

I shrugged. "I have no idea. Might be because I've felt so much pain and agony that I'm able to withstand the fire. Might be because I can feel other's emotions. Might be random chance... I honestly don't know."

"So maybe the strength of our love won't be enough to destroy the loop, right?" David asked.

"That's a possibility. Like I said, I don't know if this will work. But I'd like to try destroying the loop and giving you both a chance at a normal love and normal lives. If it doesn't work we still have the first option."

They looked at one another, nodding their heads ever so slightly at the unspoken question each saw in the other's eyes.

"Let's give it a try." David said finally.

"Okay, I want you to face each other and keep your eyes and thoughts focused on what you feel for the other. Don't let your thoughts wander. I'll be linked with both of you, controlling the flow of the emotions as well as monitoring your heart rates. If I think either of you can't take the stress we'll stop. Don't pay any attention to me; keep focused on the person facing you."

They turned on the couch so that they were facing and joined hands. I got up and moved to a chair across from the couch so that both were in front of me and linked.

Anya's ring glowed darkly, but all around it was a pulsing mass of bright burning love mixed with lust and desire. David's emotions were less orderly and much less focused. His love was strong but wavered, being pressed on all sides by concern and apprehension.

"Focus David. There's nothing to be worried about. Either it works or it doesn't."

His emotions gained more structure as his focus increased, and I began to detect a slight taste of sugar mixed with bitters.

"Good, much better. Now concentrate on the love." I whispered softly and began to pull their emotions thru the links into myself.

I blended their feelings together and twisted them around until it resembled a loaf of braided bread, amplified the strength and intensity and poured it down the link to Anya. She stiffened somewhat as the powerful burst hit her, but continued to focus on her own feelings. I continued to pull from them both, Jones' feelings staying pretty much constant and steady, but Anya's were beginning to be influenced by the beefed up input from me. I pulled, mixed, amped and fed back into her, pulling from her at the same time now while adding David's love to the growing mass and pouring it back into Anya. We had turned into an emotional version of a perpetual motion machine.

The volume of emotion flowing between Anya and myself had grown in just a few moments from a trickle to a raging torrent. I could feel her heart pounding in sync with my own. Beads of sweat broke out on both our faces when I increased the amplification.

I'd been keeping a close watch on the ring while all this had been going on, checking for any sign of it breaking down, cracking... anything. It hadn't changed a bit.

Increasing the amplitude of the emotional flows, I could feel Anya's and my heart rate nearly double, and while she seemed untroubled by the change I felt a sudden pain blossom in my belly and I struggled to keep the pain out of the flow that ran between our three bodies. I started gasping for air and the sweat began to pour down my face and into my beard, trickling down my neck and chest.

Anya's ring remained unchanged. A red haze fell across my eyes and the wheezing gasps that came from my throat filled my ears.

'Some things are not meant to be undone.'

"I have to fix this, I have to." I rasped, my chest heaving.

'Some things cannot be undone.'

"I made this... I can unmake it!"

'It was not meant to be unmade; not by time, not by you, not by anything.'

"I have... to... make this... right!"

'You had a choice at the time. Kill her or make her your servant. Was your choice wrong?'

"... no... but it... wasn't right..."

'Was it Just? Was it fair?'

"... y-yes..."

'Then you have to live with what you've done. She will have to live with what you've done. There's no escape for either of you. And that is justice.'