The one thing about relationships is that they are rarely fair.

Take us for instance. I have a good-looking wife and I don't feel that I'm particularly a bag of spanners either. We're in our early thirties, well Janice has just turned thirty and I hit 'old git' status about three months ago. We've been together for over ten years.

It didn't take long for our ardour to cool and when we went to spice it up, it mainly revolved around Janice to make the moves.

She would do the stockings and flashy underwear thing and for a while it was great. Sex was good, but I honestly can't say it was any better than it was before. It was like turning up the power only to find that you're already going flat out, but instead of being on a big old Honda Fireblade, you're on a little put-put; it'll get you there, but with little excitement and it's usually a lot of hard work.

Once again, everything cooled off.

I thought about this for a while and the only conclusion I could come up with was if I made some changes. It seemed the only 'fair' thing to do.

I spoke to Janice.

"I know things have cooled off between us sexually and I think I know why."

"Go on." she said cautiously.

I could see that look in her eyes and I knew I was going to have a hard time getting this out. I was going to have to tread carefully, as the last thing I wanted was for her to think that even after all these years of thinking she knew me, she didn't and I was afraid that she'd come to the conclusion she'd actually married a raving pervert.

"Well, I know that it's always you that makes the effort," I said. Her eyes softened. Perhaps this wasn't going to be so bad after all. "And I wondered whether there was perhaps something I could do to spice things up a bit."

What I'd got in mind was maybe I'd get some sexy pants, like a body builder's posing pouch or something similar and maybe I'd have to shave my body hair, but I thought, fair's fair.

She looked a bit taken aback I must say and I wasn't really sure how she'd taken what I had said, but I thought I was being clever leaving the ball in her court; giving her the option of making the suggestion in the hopes that she would come up with an idea she liked.

"I'll let you know, but thank you for being so considerate."

Well it was looking like a promising start anyway.

I waited for days and days and still I had heard nothing. Granted we were busy, what with both of us working and little time really for anything intimate.

My head was doing somersaults though, going from one extreme to the other, from full rubber suits to a little g-string and I was starting to worry as to whether I had made the right decision in letting her come up with the ideas.

I had to keep myself in check as I had to visit the doctor on the Thursday for a 'pm' appointment — one of those 'well man' checkups. It's one of those things they do where they basically tap you a few times on the chest, tell you you're not dead or pregnant and send you on your way.

By Friday, I was so tightly wound, that even if she were to look at me with anything like a come-to-bed expression, I'd have come on the spot.

I wasn't quite prepared for what she actually had planned.

Friday evening was normally the night of the week we went out. Very occasionally we'd go out on a Saturday, but Friday was the night. I had got home from work late in the afternoon and had fixed a light buffet-style spread for tea, that way we could basically eat whilst on the move, either while we were getting ready or whatever.

When she still hadn't returned by seven, I was getting somewhat fractious. I had already started on a scotch egg, a few handfuls of peanuts and had a bath. I dressed smart, but casual and figured I would be ready for anything.

By seven-thirty, she was back and it was all I could do not to take her to task for being so late. This was our night out after all.

"How you doing Jan?" I asked.

"I've been thinking about what you said, and I came up with a solution." she said, flopping down on the sofa while I got her a beer from the fridge. She was munching on a handful of peanuts when I gave it to her.

"You did?" I replied. I was still trying to simmer down after she hadn't phoned to let me know she was going to be so late.

"Yup." she said, without any hint of what it was that she'd decided.

"Well?"

"You'll see." She flashed me a wicked grin and after a fairly sizeable slug from the beer can, she disappeared upstairs.

Well I have to say, I was pretty pissed off. This was important to me and I had no idea what she was playing at or anything. I kept looking at my watch and the time seemed to racing away from us, if we were to be going anywhere, we'd have to hurry.

"You going to be long, honey?" I yelled up the stairs.

"I'm in the bath. Just be patient for heaven's sake."

"Patience? I'll give her patience." I said throwing myself onto the sofa and drinking the rest of my can of beer in one gulp. I went and got another.

I got back and she came into the lounge in the most delicious red baby-doll nightie with almost completely transparent thong. I nearly lost it on the spot. I made a grab for her.

"Not yet darling." she said mysteriously, adding that wicked little smirk.

"But..." I started, but she just lifted my chin with a neatly manicured fingernail and told me that I had to get ready first.

"But I've already had a bath." I complained.

"That's okay darling. There's plenty of hot water. Just follow the instructions on the bottle and when you come out, I'll have your stuff ready on the bed. Now run along, or it'll take all night."

I hit the stairs at a dead run and tripped at least twice in my haste.

In the bathroom, I tried to find a bottle.

Nothing there that I hadn't already seen.

I went into the bedroom and an old fashioned brown glass bottle lay on the bed. I read the label.

"Ready Maid

Add two drops to a bath of warm water and soak for no less than fifteen minutes. Add bubble bath or perfumed oils if required."

Once again, I got undressed and sat on the edge of the bath as it filled. Then I added two drops of this stuff (whatever it was) to my bath and lowered myself in.

It didn't seem to smell of anything, so the idea that it was an aphrodisiac was probably out of the question. Sure it was having an effect — the effect of anticipation on an already overloaded libido.

I sank back into the warm water until just my head was out. I had already done my hair and I didn't think I needed to go that far. As I reclined, I started to feel slightly strange. It wasn't a bad strange, just different and I could feel it tingling all the way up and down my body.

I was quite turned on by this and eyes closed, I could feel myself drifting. It was marvellous. The tingling sensation got stronger and stronger and I felt myself almost floating.

"Well if this is the appetiser," I thought. "Then bring on the main course!"

I lost track of all time and had it not been for Janice knocking on the door, I don't think I would have got out of that bath — at all.

I stepped out and grabbed a towel.

It was at this point that I noticed the changes.

Now when I agreed to put some effort in, I had some kinky underwear in mind; something that we could have a bit of a laugh with, but breasts?

They weren't all either.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I was not me, leastways, not exactly. I was like a female version of me. I was about the same height, which I suppose makes me quite tall for a woman. I had fair-sized boobs, which I wished I'd noticed earlier. I would have liked to have given them a test run before getting out of the bath and I was completely hairless from the head down, oh and my face too. Conversely, the hair on my head was longer, thicker, reaching almost to my waist.

"Are you out yet?" she asked.

"Yes?" I asked back.

"Is everything alright?"

"I don't know. It depends how you want to look at it."

"It worked then?"

"I guess."

"Well. Come on out."

I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me above my ample bosom and headed out of the bathroom.

Janice was outside.

"My aren't you pretty?" she said seductively and brushed my cheek with the back of her hand, sending tingles not unlike those I felt in the bath, down my spine and I quivered. I also couldn't help blushing and I looked down. "And demure too!" she laughed. I smiled.

"Well don't let me stop you. You'd better go and get dressed. I'll be waiting downstairs."

This was unreal. I felt like a virgin being seduced by the mistress and I can't tell you what else I was feeling, but suffice it to say, I was trembling all over.

I walked into the bedroom and true to her word, Janice had laid out what I was to be wearing and boy did my pulse start to race.

There was lingerie that made me blush. Not unlike what Janice was wearing, it consisted of a very tiny thong in sheer black and a nightie that was so diaphanous that there seemed hardly any point in putting it on. To accompany, there was a pair of seamed black stockings with a self supporting lace top and a pair of four-inch black patent shoes.

I was trembling before I saw this lot, but the trembles just got more and more pronounced the more I put on. By the time I had pulled up the stockings, I was already close to an orgasm. My nipples were on stalks and with even the slightest movement, electric shocks coursed though my entire body.

I carefully negotiated the stairs and found that despite this being my first time in these shoes I didn't find it nearly as hard as I had thought to walk — part of the transformation perhaps. I stepped into the lounge where Janice sat on the sofa. She had lowered the lights, set candles all over the place and had even put some soft, seductive music on the stereo.

"Come here." she said commandingly. I went and stood before her, still trembling and still just on the verge of orgasm. "That's a good girl. Now kneel down."

I knelt and she opened her legs, drawing me towards her. She bent towards me and planted a kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth to allow her tongue access, fencing with hers and my mind going into a state of near delirium.

We kissed and the passion rose, as I lifted her nightie to pull it over her head.

"Now, now," she said. "Let's not get too hasty." I let the hem drop and continued with the kissing, while Janice reached round the back and picked something up.

It was the biggest strap-on dildo I think I have ever seen.

"You want this don't you?" I wasn't sure — at all, I mean that thing was huge! The bath drops though made it impossible for me to refuse and I found myself nodding — enthusiastically.

"Tell me. Tell me you want me to put this on and fuck you with it." she said.

"Yes please." I said. I could feel in my panties that I was wet, God was I wet. She only had to wave that thing in front of me and I or rather, my pussy responded by getting hotter and wetter. "Oh yes please!"

She stood and told me to remove her thong. With trembling hands, I reached up under the hem of her baby-doll and gently pulled on the skimpy undergarment. When it reached her knees she told me to kiss her and without hesitation, I bent forward and kissed her mound. She let out a short gasp.

"Easy." she said and I stopped, pulling down her underwear the rest of the way, allowing her to step out of them.

"Your turn." she said. I stood and went to yank off the thong, but she stopped me. "Here, let me."

God, I could hardly breathe here. I was so worked up that any minute I was going to go 'pop'. I let go of my thong and she reached forward and gently tugged it down to my knees, then knelt in front of me and pulled them the rest of the way, stopping only to kiss my mound ever so gently. I gasped and my knees nearly gave way.

She turned me round to face the sofa then told me to kneel on it and hold onto the back. I was glad to. The sofa was infinitely more comfortable than the floor had been and as I did this, I could hear the sound of a gentle humming, coming from behind.

I opened my legs and thrust my arse out and felt her fingers slide past my arse towards my pussy, spreading the lips to each side and inserting two fingers. Once again I gasped and added a moan this time too!

Then I felt it, the shiny tip of that monster dildo sliding along the length of my pussy lips, before it sank into me to the hilt.

"Holy Shit!!" I exclaimed and she pulled most of it back out. "Nooooo." I groaned, just as she pushed it back in, its vibrating length sending me into near trance.

Back and forth it slid for some time, I have no idea how long, before she pulled out all the way with a 'plop'.

"I think it needs more lubrication." she told me. "Would you oblige?" I nodded, knowing what it was she wanted of me and I turned around and started to lick the length of the shaft and knob, starting at the base and running my tongue along its full length.

I could taste my own pussy juice on the black rubber and it drove me on, making me lick it greedily and hoping that it wouldn't be too long before I would get to taste Janice's too.

Wrapping my lips around its tip, I began to slide right down as far as I could without choking, pulling back to the tip and leaving a glistening trail of saliva behind me.

"That should do, now turn round again." I did as I was asked and turned about, thrusting my arse back towards her. This time though, she didn't insert it into my pussy, but I could feel the tip against my rosebud. It hurt to begin with; that massive member stretching my arsehole as it slid slowly into the depths of my bowels.

I was completely wanton by now and was thrusting backwards against the forward thrust of the vibrating member that was invading my rear. Back and forth, back and forth it went, sawing in and out of my arse before she withdrew it again only to replace it into my pussy.

I was almost disappointed, but not for long as she inserted a vibrator into my back passage, twisting and thrusting, twisting and pulling as her pelvic thrust took up a counter rhythm in my pussy.

It wasn't long after before moaning and whimpering, I came again and again, losing all control, flopping forwards against the back of the sofa gasping for air and shuddering violently.

Good God, I had never felt anything like that before, but judging by Janice, it wasn't over.

"Come here." she ordered and I turned shakily to see that she had removed the strap on and was laying back on the sofa with her legs spread wide, knees almost on her chest. "Lick me." she ordered.

Christ, I thought she'd never ask, I thought and almost dived at her. Was that where the expression came from?

I started at her anus, twirling my tongue around it, feeling it twitch and pucker before opening slightly. I took the opportunity to push my tongue in as far as I could, but it wasn't going to let me.

I slid up slightly and found her pussy. If I thought I was wet, I was nothing compared to Janice, hers was sopping and I had a field day, licking the juice from her, whilst probing her rear with my middle finger.

She was starting to buck as I began pushing my tongue deep into her, then removing it and swirling it up to her clit and then back down to her hole. I let a little dribble of saliva run to her arse and slipped another finger in, beginning the process over again.

"Wait!" she panted and handed me a floppy pink rubber phallus. "Use this." she said and laid back again. How many of these things had she bought?

I pushed the pink dong into her arse. I move it gently at first, back and forth before locating the strap-on and using that for her pussy, pushing it in as far as it would go and doing exactly the same with the dildo.

"Yes!!" she moaned and gradually, I increased the pace until both were sawing back and forth at an unholy rate.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" she panted, in time with the rhythm I was producing with the two toys.

I turned my attention to her boobs and took one nipple in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and biting down, then sucking, increasing the suction, then biting again, whilst still pushing and pulling on the toys.

It took no more than half a dozen of those coupled with the dildo action before she came, throwing her legs forward and clamping them together, causing me to jump out of the way. Suddenly, she unclamped her legs and the pink dildo popped out of her arse as she reached down and yanked the strap-on from her pussy then fell back panting hard. If hers was half as good as mine, I think we may need to rest up for a minute or two.

Janice sent me to the bedroom and followed behind with an armful of assorted toys.

I was a bit sore after the shafting I had received, but I wasn't prepared to stop yet. She dropped the toys onto the bed and I went for her, but she pushed me off, saying she wasn't ready.

Well I was and I wasn't prepared to wait.

I knelt before her and opened my legs as far as I could. I looked her straight in the eyes as I let my left hand trace down to my pussy, while the other pinched and tweaked at my nipple.

I sank two fingers straight in then pulled them out and licked them as seductively as I could, before replacing them and adding another. I was away to the mixer, pushing my fingers in as far as I could only to remove them and rub, tease or tweak my clit.

I let go of my nipple and reached behind to and insert a finger into my arse. I could see Janice starting to breathe more raggedly and noticed that she was starting to play with herself too. I dived at her again, hungry for more of her pussy.

I reached out for a dildo, vibrator or whatever I could get my greedy little hands on and pushed it into her, while tonguing her clit for all I was worth.

"Wait," she panted and twisting round, we got into a good old sixty-nine, both of us pushing and pulling on dildos, vibrators or whatever, I don't know and licking until our jaws felt like they were going to fall off, orgasming it seemed, time and time again.

I thought that would be that, but she looked at me with a wicked smile and reached under the pillow, retrieving a double-ended dildo. My eyes went wide, for not only was it incredibly long, but it was as wide as I have ever seen. She put one end in her mouth sucking at the end of it then doing the same with the other end. Taking it out of her mouth, dripping with saliva, she pushed it into my pussy. I squealed.

There I was laying, legs akimbo with this huge red double dong hanging out of me when she positioned herself at the other end and slid onto it. With deft motion, she was pulling out of her while at the same time, pushing it into me, only moments later to reverse the action.

I was off again, heading for another blinding orgasm, working my clit as gently as I could now with my fingers.

We fell asleep on top of the bed and when I awoke, I was back to normal, surrounded by sex toys and Janice and still wearing the baby-doll.

I have to say I had a sore bum and I was more than a little embarrassed by wearing the nightie. I went to take it off.

"No, leave it." said Janice.

"Okay." I said, but I felt really self conscious, especially with the stockings.