Chapter 8: Make Up or Break Up?

"Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts"

-Don't Speak (No Doubt)

It was snowing heavily as I drove towards the villa. The heater in my car had stopped functioning and I could see my breath freeze to a white cloud every time I exhaled. By the time I pulled up on the driveway, I just wanted to get inside to avoid freezing my balls off. I could only imagine how cold Jessica must have been when she showed up naked on my doorstep.

I stepped out of the car and rushed towards the front door in an attempt to get warmer. I pushed the doorbell and anxiously waited for Sandra to open the door. I was thinking that it was getting rather late and it was dark inside; perhaps she had already gone to bed.

Then I heard footsteps and Sandra opened the door. She was still dressed in the dress she had on for the exhibition and I could see that she had been crying. She was genuinely surprised at seeing me and only stood there in the doorway making no attempt to let me in. Since I was freezing I had to say something, "Are you going to let me in or do you wish to wait until I turn into an ice sculpture?"

Sandra regained her composure and opened the door wider so that I could enter. She showed me the way to the living room and we sat down in their very comfortable leather sofa without saying a word. Sandra was the first one to break the silence.

"I was not expecting you to be here. I kind of figured you were screwing my girlfriend silly right about now."

Sandra tried to sound carefree but I could tell she was upset.

"Sandra, we..." I replied but Sandra interrupted me.

"Shit. Jessica couldn't do it because of the rape, could she? Is she okay? I know the number of her counse..."

"Sandra. Let me finish. This has nothing to do with the rape. You and I need to have a little talk," I interrupted her back.

I imagine Sandra's head must have been going into overload. Then she finally said, "Ok. Knowing you, you're probably here to ask for permission. I thought I made it clear to Jessica that I allowed it."

"Jessica made that clear to me. We are both very grateful for that. I know what a sacrifice that must have been for you," I replied.

"So you are here because you feel guilty is that it?" Sandra asked.

"First, I want to say that things weren't exactly platonic between me and Jessica after you left, but nothing major happened, mostly because I was not ready. If you are asking me if I feel guilty. Sure I feel guilty and Jessica does too, but that is not the reason why I am here," I answered.

"You're confusing me, Martin. Why the hell are you here then?" Sandra asked with a voice that a deaf man could hear the fear in.

"I don't know how to say this so I will be blunt. Jessica and I found out that we are in love with each other. She also told me that she was still in love with you," I said.

Sandra had started crying. Without really thinking, I sat down beside her and put my arm around her. I pulled her into an embrace and let her cry onto my chest. Even though the situation was hardly erotic, I started to get an erection. My mind was still blank and without thinking I found myself saying, "Don't worry, I know from personal experience that someone can be in love with several persons at the same time. She still loves you and will not leave you. You two need to talk this through."

Sandra momentarily stopped crying but did not break the embrace when she said, "I already knew that Jessica was in love with you, that is not why I am crying."

I must have looked really puzzled. If she was not upset by that what the hell could she be crying about? I was still lost in my thoughts when Sandra continued, "You told me that you knew how it felt to be in love with two different persons. Is that true?"

I cursed myself for saying that and nervously replied, "It's true."

"Are you in love with two people right now?"

I was getting really nervous right now and it took all my willpower to not stutter or tremble. I really hated myself for being such an honest person when I answered her question with a nod.

"Is it Sarah at the grocery store?"

"NO, it's... it's you," I answered with a voice that started as a shout and ended as a whisper. I had not intended to tell her about my feelings since she was obviously not interested in men, but it just slipped out of my mouth.