Chapter 2

Well, it went on like that, for more than a month. Bill's tips up at the cafe got even more outrageous, and he continued to pay me $60 every Tuesday night for coming out, and cleaning up his house. As he promised, there was at least some need, after that first week, for the housework. But it still was a pretty easy evening's work.

One Tuesday night, Bill asked me if I could come out twice a week, instead of the once -- maybe on a Thursday evening. "You don't need a housekeeper more than once a week," I told him. "You don't hardly need one at all."

"What if you was to come out, and just sit out on the back porch, there, with me; the sunroom... And we could, y'know, just talk to each other? Like two old friends."

"Are you that lonely, Bill, you wanting to pay for someone to sit and talk to you?"

"Not 'someone, ' Jenny -- you, in particular."

"Sounds like more charity, to me," I told him.

"You think it wouldn't be worth $60 to me, to have you here, two-three hours of an evenin', sitting and talking to me?"

"I understand what you're saying, Bill. I reckon I can see how it might be valuable to you. But it still seems like -- you know -- like just giving your money away. It's make-work."

"I'd like for you to do it. I'd like for you to do it, twice a week. Instead of cleaning the house Tuesdays, how about you just come out, have a little tea or coffee, or a coke-cola, and we just sit and talk? It would be great for me, Jenny, really! I don't need the house cleaning work. I got lots of free time, and I'm so used to cleaning up after myself, I can do it without any help. But I need your company, Jenny-girl!"

"Bill, what you need is to go out, find yourself a girlfriend. There's lots of women around town, would think you was a prize! You don't need to be lonely, nor to pay for me to sit and talk to you!"

"Jenny, I ain't in the market for no girlfriend. Truth is, girl, I can't even -- well, I can't even get it up, most of the time. It isn't sex I'm looking for, Jen. At least, I'm not lookin' to be takin' up with no fat old woman who would be a proper match for me."

"Well, Bill, there must be plenty of women in your age bracket -- and younger, too -- wouldn't be too demanding, where the sex thing was concerned. I mean, lots of them older women don't -- you know -- don't even care that much, anymore, about sex -- if they ever did."

"I'm a dirty old man, Jenny."

"You told me that, already." I just smiled at him.

"No. I mean, listen to me! I'm not even -- able, really -- t'make love to a woman. And I don't particularly want to take up with some older woman in a, in a like -- platonic relationship-thing, neither. But that doesn't mean I don't have an interest -- in sex."

"I'm not sure I'm understanding you, Bill."

"Oh Hell, I know you don't. Why would you? I ain't never spoken of it, to you. But I'm going to explain it to you. And after I do, you might not want to be my friend anymore. You might not even want to see me, dinnertimes, down at the cafe. But I'm going to explain it to you, straight out, anyway, and stop all this tip-toein' and pussy-footin' around!"

"All right, Bill." But it was like he was afraid to say anything else. It was like he'd changed his mind. Well, I just sat there with him, and waited. Finally, he did start to talk, again.

"Jenny. When my wife, Sarah, was alive, we had us a good life together. I mean -- all of it. The sex, too -- you know?"

Well, I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say nothing at all. But I tried not to look shocked or disgusted, or anything like that. I figured old Bill was gonna be asking me for sex, and he was scared to take the plunge and to come right out with it.

"It's like I told you, Jenny, before. I can't hardly even get it up, no more, now. And I don't mess with them pills they got. I hear they work right good, even for old farts like me, but my doctor says I should steer clear, because I got the kind of heart problems, don't make taking them things a good idea at all."

Well, I hadn't known the old guy had heart trouble. "I'm real sorry to hear that, Bill."

"Well, it ain't like I'm dying or nothing. I reckon I'm some better off than your poor ol' mama."

"Yes, sir."

"But even if I can't do a woman no good, no more, I wished I could -- touch one -- once in awhile. And maybe, have her to... touch me back -- I'm talkin' about with just her hand, y'understand? Nothin' more than that!"

"I guess you got me mistaken for a common whore," I said to him.

Well, I just blurted that out, without thinking on it all that much. I wasn't as mad at old Bill as I thought maybe I ought t' be. I wasn't too surprised, either, about what he'd said to me. But I didn't soften it -- what I'd said back to him, nor take it back.

"That ain't true, Jenny! I swear I ain't never thought of you that way! I'm sorry, if I've insulted you! I know I was takin' advantage, of your -- your need for money. And I'm, I'm real sorry! Forgive me for sayin' it, and try to forget about it."

I just felt sorry for the old bastard. He was backtracking as hard as he could, and I knew -- hell, I'd known the whole time -- that he wasn't out to hurt my feelings, or insult me. But I just let him rave on.

"... But I'd still like it, Jenny, if you was to agree to come on back here, Tuesdays, of an evening, and maybe Thursdays, too, if you'd do it. And just... just talk to me, Jenny! You wouldn't never have to touch me! Never -- not at all! And I wouldn't do nothin to you, neither! Nothin! I would never once so much as lay a finger on your elbow! I swear it!"

I didn't say nothin' back to him, at first, but I could see in his eyes that what I'd said to him, about takin' me for a whore, had caused old Bill to be feelin' a lot of pain.

So finally I give him a little smile and I said, "I ain't mad at you, Bill, for what you said. I know how it is, for a man. I really do know! And I know you're lonely, here. So I will come, both days, just like you said. And we'll drink coffee together, and we'll talk about stuff, and you can tell me about your life, and your Sarah, and about your children, out there in California."

Well, the relief on that old man's face was something to see, and he kinda lit up, there, and smiled at me, real big. "That's wonderful, Jenny-girl," he said. "I'm so glad! And you just forget about -- that other. We won't be doing none of that stuff. Not at all. Not-at-all!"