Chapter 2: Getting to Know Renée

Wednesday slipped by without notice. I stayed in my room and listened to the radio most of it, but I kept myself busy with sketching pictures of both the blonde from the previous day's gathering and the trio from the night of my arrival. It allowed me to relax and escape the reality of my depression. It was something I could do to fill time and even have something to show for the effort because my pencil art wasn't too bad. I wasn't as good as some of my favorite artists, but I was working on it. It was even a possibility that some of the art classes that UTA offered would help me to increase my skills with the pencil and even learn new media. I hardly ate anything that day, but that didn't bother me. I was used to missing the occasional meal.

Thursday night rolled around after an entire day of anxiety. I had worked on the clothes to wear to the orientation and the party afterwards but there was only so much I could do to make them look as good as possible. The general state of dress at the previous orientation was what I used as a general rule regarding how I was going to present myself. I didn't want to just sit idle in my room or mindlessly watch TV. Keeping busy and moving kept my thoughts off my depression. There was also the thought that the blonde might not even show up for the orientation at all. There was a very good possibility that she was only going to attend the one and no others. The idea both helped me and hurt me. It helped because then there wouldn't be the chance of me being awestruck, looking stupid, and feeling like a loser later. It hurt because I really did want to see her again and to have a chance to talk, if nothing else.

When the time came, I walked over to Texas Hall wearing my best pants and shirt. I only owned one pair of shoes, so there wasn't much of a choice there. My shirt was a simple blue and cyan polo style and my pants were the only pair of slacks that I owned. It wasn't the exact shade of blue from the shirt, but it was close enough ... I hoped.

The building, like all the others on the campus, was a faded red brick. The concrete trim was just shy of beige. Inside the hall, students were milling about talking and laughing. My nerves were bunched up and I felt very much like I had back in high school. I knew it was stupid, but for some reason the whole event made me nervous.

After a few minutes of quietly being among the other students, I saw a man tap on a microphone. He gained everyone's attention and gave a short speech about his initial arrival at UTA. After his speech, a woman also welcomed all of the students, and finally representatives of each of the fraternities and sororities led everyone through the school pledge. I noticed that none of the sorority members looked anything like the two blondes I saw the night of my arrival, but that didn't mean anything really. There was only one representative from each organization.

I didn't recall the speeches from the previous orientation. Perhaps I had arrived afterwards. I let the thought pass.

The solemn passage ended with a storm of chaos. Everyone walked around, talked and hit the food tables. By that point, I had finally relaxed a bit and began my effort to find a way to the party.

I was greeted by one of the sophomores and seemed to impress him with my capacity at making myself clear even with the noise of the gathering. Our conversation was interrupted when someone asked about a portable stereo system they could use at the party. I volunteered mine, and quickly asked if someone could give me a ride to pick up the stereo then on to the party. He told me to find Renée.

I asked around and was directed here and there. It didn't even dawn on me that so many people seemed to know her. When I found her, my stomach did a back flip into a nice, tight knot. Taking off my glasses long enough to rub my eyes, I felt like I was opening a veil as I put them back on to see properly.

Her golden hair was up in a loose bun with strands hanging here and there, grazing her long delicate neck. She wore a top of dark red, which not only hugged her even more impressive looking breasts but dipped down, giving off a good shot of her deep cleavage. I was impressed previously with how the wind had given me glimpses of her shape, but the new outfit she wore highlighted her womanly assets magnificently. I caught myself doing what I swore I wouldn't do, staring in awe at her splendor. And I hadn't even finished taking in the rest of her attire. It took some effort to force my eyes down.

A matching skirt embraced her incredible hips, round bottom and upper thighs. With the way the outfit was ribbed, it almost appeared as if it had been wrapped around her from the shoulders down. The two pieces were obviously separate since they exposed her midriff and gave her lithe form a more alluring appearance. Those long, long legs were tanned and smooth. I wasn't certain but I thought she might be wearing stockings or pantyhose. I'd only seen legs like that in commercials and beauty contests. Even her feet appeared stunning in her black high heeled shoes. Every curve flowed delicately to the next and spoke of softness that only a feather or the supplest leathers could possess.

After soaking in the sight of her in its entirety, I couldn't begin to fathom why such a woman would want to help someone like me. She was probably decked out more for the party that everyone was leaving to go to, and I suddenly felt underdressed.

I took a moment to look her over, and then closed my eyes not only to memorize her, but to bring myself back to earth. I had to remember, I needed to ask a favor. Opening my eyes I saw her hands clearly as I continued to stand there. No ring was visible. Maybe ... Maybe she wasn't attached. My hopes rose and I stepped forward. "Hi. Are you Renée?"

She looked at me and nodded. Her bright blue eyes stood out sharply against the outline of light mascara.

I blinked a couple of times and trudged on, "I'm Ral and I have the stereo for the party. I was told that you could give me a lift?" I made it a question. It seemed rude to assume that she would, and my ego didn't think it was possible anyway.

She turned to me fully with a smile. I had to gulp down not only my increasing anxiety but my astonishment at just how beautiful she was. I almost didn't hear her words as the beating of my heart thrummed in my ears.

"You have the stereo? Then let's go."

I blinked a few times and realized she spoke to me and was walking away, presumably to her car. I followed her through the crowd to the exit.

Once we got out the door, I couldn't help noticing the way her body moved as she walked. She moved with a purpose but at the same time there was something in her movement that held my gaze just as much as her physical appearance. I certainly appreciated the sight. None of the girls from high school moved like that, but then I don't remember seeing anyone that appeared even close to what Renée looked like. She could stop traffic just by walking along the sidewalk, and yet she not only spoke to me but she was also going to give me a ride to a party.

She stopped at the driver's door of her car and smiled at me over the roof. I saw her grin and returned it, happy to have received such a simple gesture.

"So, where do you live?" She asked over the roof of her car.

Startled out of just staring I answered, "Oh, over in Trinity House."

She looked behind her toward the dorm, which sat just across the street, and then back at me with a smile. "Cool. Get in."

I couldn't stop myself from looking at her repeatedly as we drove over to my dorm. Even though it took less than two minutes to get there, it felt like a lot longer. She was smiling every time I looked. "Is there something wrong?"

"No." I squeaked, "I ... I was just..." I stopped with a sigh. My lack of self-confidence tried to keep me from saying what I wanted to. I found her attractive and she really looked stunning. I remembered complementing Sally a couple of times and her reactions encouraged me to finally ask her out. Was there a possibility I could achieve the same thing with Renée? "I think you really look great."

Her smile widened and her eyes softened. "Thank you," she said softly as we pulled into the parking lot for Trinity House. After parking next to the entrance, she turned to me. She made a deliberate sweep of me with her eyes and I could feel blood rush to my face.

I felt underdressed before, but under her gaze the word "sloppy" popped into my mind.

Thankfully, her opinion wasn't the same. "You look pretty good, yourself."

I was taken aback by her compliment and it even eased some of my tension. It did nothing for my anxiety though. Sitting with her in the semi-privacy of the car made me nervous, excited and frightened all at once.

I looked at her again with a bit of astonishment. "Th-Thank you," I said awkwardly, but kept my composure.

We got out of the car after another agonizing minute of silence and as we entered the main lobby Renée remarked, "Those pants really don't go with that shirt. Maybe while we're in your room we can find something more appropriate." I felt myself turning red at the idea of changing clothes in front of her.

When we got to my room, she headed straight for my wardrobe. I turned and started disconnecting my stereo for travel, trying to hide my embarrassment from her.

Renée turned to me with a pair of dark blue jeans. "Put these on. They'll go better with that shirt."

Feeling nervous, I asked, "Why don't I just change my shirt?"

"Because you don't have one that goes with those pants," she smiled gently. "I'll carry down the stereo while you change." Her eyes dropped then came back up. "I can tell you're nervous." She picked up the main control and walked out the door, pulling it shut behind her. She didn't have to look down to know I was embarrassed. It was emblazoned all over my face. Maybe she was looking...

Moving like a madman, I kicked off my shoes and dropped my pants, pulling on the replacements just as Renée got back.

She watched me tuck in my shirt and looked me over. I felt my face flushing again. "Those look much better," she said as her gaze drifted heavily over me.

It had been plenty of stimulation watching her from a distance the first time I saw her, but for some reason having her looking at me like that really turned me on. Fortunately, I was holding my pants together in the front, which allowed me to hide the evidence of my arousal.

She looked back up to my face and said, "Finish getting dressed while I take down the speakers. I'll be right back." I watched her pick up the speakers and walk out the door. She smiled at me over her shoulder.

Just as I finished tying my shoes and stood, the door opened. Renée stood there and looked me over. "Now you look great, too."

Feeling much better from her comment, I followed her out. Once again I was greeted by her swaying hips as we left the room. Though welcome, the sight didn't help my anxiety. In the elevator, we stood millimeters apart among several other guys. They looked her over but none of them seemed to be very interested. I couldn't help wondering why, but I was grateful for the lack of competition.

When we got to her car I noticed that the stereo wasn't strapped in. Having worked hard over several months to earn the money for the system, I didn't want something to happen just because one additional bit of protection wasn't used. I mentioned it and used a seatbelt to hold the entire system in place.

When I backed out of the car I accidentally bumped into Renée. I didn't know she had been standing right behind me. Turning to face her so I could apologize, my arm grazed her impressive breasts. Inadvertently, I noticed how soft they were. "Oops," was all I could say and I watched her breasts bounce from the contact. Her nipples were hard and stood out distinctly against the fabric of her top. Was it me or did they look bigger? It took some effort but I looked up to find her watching me. Wide eyed and a bit embarrassed I stammered, "I ... I'm sorry..."

She didn't get upset at all. In fact, her smile was completely disarming as she asked: "Are we ready to go?"

Then she walked off without waiting for an answer. Her movement was more exaggerated than before. I shook off the feeling of astonishment for being allowed to touch her without repercussions. There was also the crazy notion that she seemed to enjoy the contact and to have my eyes on her. I climbed into the car when she started it up.

Somehow during the trip to the party, I finally gained some self-control. We chatted lightly and the trip passed quickly. After exiting the highway, we drove up and down a few streets. She seemed to have misplaced the location of the party, "I know the center is here somewhere," Renée fussed. "We may have to cancel. Hell, we might even just go back to your dorm room and have our own party."

Open mouthed and caught off guard, I looked at her and watched for a second as she concentrated on finding the house. Silence spewed from my mouth as my loins screamed, "Yeah, let's go!"

Disappointment reared its ugly head when she announced, "Here it is. Now we need a parking space."

Renée and I got the stereo inside and other partiers took over setting up and playing DJ. Once my importance became moot, my depression returned. I looked around the crowded room. A multitude of people were drinking, talking and having fun. I started having an anxiety attack as if I were back in high school and all sorts of thoughts flooded my head: I hardly knew anyone there, I was miles from home, the music reminded me of my long gone girlfriend, the drink of choice seemed to be beer which I didn't care for, and I felt somehow left out.

I stepped outside and away from the house. Gulping down the cool night air, I sat on the curb of the sidewalk. My emotions ran rampant. I didn't want to feel that way but I didn't know how to stop it either. My mood was so deep I didn't even notice someone sitting down next to me.

Renée's friendly voice pulled me back to reality. "What are you doing sitting out here all by yourself?"

I didn't reply, only shrugged my shoulders.

"Why so glum?" She bumped me with her shoulder as she asked.

"Nothing really important," I finally answered. I didn't look up because I didn't want to look into those lovely eyes. I didn't want to hurt any more than I already did and I felt that if I looked at her, my depression would deepen. There was no way I could ever get together with someone like her, so why should I even try?

"Well, you look like someone just ran over your dog. Cheer up. We're at a party and everyone's having a good time. There're all kinds of people here to talk to and get to know." She nudged me with her shoulder again and softened her voice, which swept through my downtrodden emotions. "In fact, I was hoping we could talk. I'd like to get to know you."

This drew me out of my sadness. And as I looked up and at her for the first time, I realized just how close she was sitting to me. Her smile was dazzling. Her eyes were friendly and warm, and I couldn't help but to return the gesture.

"That's better. So talk, tell me about yourself."

What was I supposed to talk about? What would she want to know? I had to start somewhere. "There's not much to tell." That was stupid.

"Oh, come on! Everybody's got a story."

I just shrugged, "I don't know ... I'm from a small town. I came to school early to get away from my family. I'm sure you've heard that already."

"I have a similar story. But right now, I'm not the one feeling lonely and depressed."

I looked at her again. She retained that friendly, disarming smile. I felt my depression drop away a bit more. That smile just wouldn't let my mood tarnish the evening. Why should it? She had nothing to lose. What's more, she was being nice to me. I might not get to date her or be anything more than a friend or acquaintance, but I couldn't beat the fact that she was talking to me. I smiled back. "What would you like to know?"

"Well, I was guessing since you're new here that you just graduated high school?"

I looked away. "That obvious, is it?"

Her grin widened, "Don't worry about it. Most everyone else here is fresh out of high school too. That's the whole point of the gatherings and parties: to get to know new people and make new friends."

"And here I am sitting outside on the sidewalk while everyone else is enjoying themselves."

"Not everyone can handle so much all at once. You said you were from a small town. How many did your graduating class have?"

"Fifty-three."

"Now you're going to a school with over twenty-five thousand students. That's a big change. So, yeah, I'd be apprehensive about it too."

I looked at her again, "There's one main difference between the two of us though."

"What's that?"

I almost didn't say it. I wasn't even sure how to put it. She acted like she was just like anyone else there. How could a young woman of such amazing loveliness not know how good she looked? I thought that she'd have guys hitting on her, especially dressed as she was. Had I found one of those women with such modesty? I finally let the words out. "You're an amazingly beautiful woman, and I'm just ... well ... me."

She looked at me for a second. I'd say she was stunned, but that wasn't quite right. Her eyes seemed curious. About what, I could never guess. After a second or two, she finally responded. "Thank you. But you don't do yourself justice."

"Well, to date, I only ever had one person compliment my looks." I looked squarely in her eyes as I finished the statement.

"I'm honestly surprised about that, but good looks aren't what get you friends. You have to talk to people."

I nodded my head. "You're right," I said in that monotone that grudgingly admits to a painful truth. "It is difficult getting into conversations with other people when I isolate myself." I didn't mean to sound sarcastic about it, but a lifetime of being isolated brought out the pain.

"Then there's the solution: Don't."

I stared at her. Could I talk to her about my family? I didn't know her, not really. Would she want to hear my problems?

Her eyes watched me patiently and a breeze stirred the trees. I realized since she was sitting on the curb and though her legs were closed she was getting more of a draft than she needed. Feeling better than when I arrived, I got brave. "How about we go for a walk? We can talk some more."

Her face lit up again. "Sure, I'd like that."

I stood easily but she seemed to be having a problem. Because she was sitting so low on the curb with high heels on, she couldn't get up. I held out my hand and she thanked me. The contact with her skin so directly sent a jolt through me. I wouldn't say pure pleasure, but I certainly liked it. When I helped her up, I maintained eye contact because the view of the deep cleavage made by her enormous breasts was calling to me. I could have sworn that she wasn't that stacked. Maybe it was my loneliness. It had to be just me.

Chapter 3 »