Chapter 38

We all teed off the next day from the white tees, even Mama. I was sure the extra yardage would have a big effect on her scoring, but it didn't seem to have any effect at all. She finished up at one over, beating Uncle Bunny, dad and I. I only won one hundred from dad and two hundred from Uncle Bunny. It hurt having to pay it all to Mama. I had shot an eighty seven, but it was a forty on the front and a forty seven on the back. The back nine score had caused me to tie my bet with Uncle Bunny for the back, and lose it to dad and Mama. Luckily, I won the front and the eighteen from dad and Uncle Bunny. Mama beat me on all three, even though I had birdies on the fifth and the seventh holes.

We all ate at the club, but they spent the whole time discussing business. Dad had finally made an offer to buy back his division from Consolidated. the board had asked him a bunch of questions about how he was going to handle the financing, but dad told them it would be all cash to them, and that was all they needed to know. They were considering his offer, and he needed to be back in New York by Monday. Uncle Bunny kept asking whether dad thought they'd take the offer, but he kept saying he didn't know. Mama just listened, saying very little, until they started talking about the plans for the golf learning center.

The biggest news there was that it was starting to sound like my dad's estimates on what everything would cost were lower than it was going to be. Based on everything that Mama and Uncle Bunny had learned to that point, it was going to cost twenty five million dollars before it was finished. They started discussing things they could do without, with dad and Uncle Bunny both saying that there wasn't any need to build thirty six holes right away. They could start with eighteen, and add to it if the idea proved a success. Mama said she's rather do it all at once, and said she'd put up the extra money for it herself. After she said that, there was a brief argument until Uncle Bunny solved everything by offering to put up ten million himself for a third interest. Before, Mama hadn't wanted Uncle Bunny as a partner in the learning center, but now, she just looked at dad to see what he would say.

"That would solve a lot of problems, Bertie, because we're going to need operating money even after it gets built. No telling when it will start operating in the black." Dad was letting mom know that he didn't care if Uncle Bunny came in as a partner.

"Bunny, the idea of you owning an interest in a golf learning center, with your game, it just doesn't seem right somehow. I know no one who is more anti practice and anti lesson than you are. Look at the way you play. This is why we didn't invite you in with us in the beginning."

"Bertie, that's ridiculous. Do you think Lamar Hunt knows how to punt, or throw a spiral pass? I don't need to be a player to be an investor."

"Lamar played football at SMU, Bunny, but I agree with you. What difference does it make if he can play golf well or not?" Dad was looking at Mama when he asked his question. She didn't answer dad, looking over at Uncle Bunny instead.

"I'm not going to take any lessons Bertie, so you can just forget it. I play strictly for the enjoyment of the game. I'm not like you, needing always to compete at it. If that's what your driving at, I'll withdraw my offer to join in with you."

"Very well. I can see I'm outvoted on this. We accept your offer, Bunny. It does make it easier this way. I do hope you'll overcome your aversion to taking lessons. We're going to have some very fine instructors, and you could learn to play a decent game, if only you were willing to spend just a little effort. Look at Kenny, he's just beginning, and already he's beating you, even giving you five strokes a side. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not in the least, and why should it? We can't all be Jack Nicklaus or Arnold Palmer. I play for the relaxation, Bertie, to have fun and to be sociable. My ego isn't involved with playing golf. If I put greater effort into playing well, I'd still be mediocre, just a little less so. No, I'll continue playing my way, thank you anyway."

We were sitting in the back, and my chair was facing back towards the bar, and the entrance. I watched as the Connor family walked into the dining room. The first one in was Richard, but Brenda was next. She noticed all of us sitting at our table right away. Instead of picking someplace away from us, she started walking right over where we were. She took the chair at the next table over. It was the one that would leave her sitting closest to me.

My father and Uncle Bunny stood up to greet the Connors, so I had to stand up too. For the next five minutes, everyone was talking together. Everyone but Brenda, Richard and me. I had sat back down after politely saying hello to Mr. and Mrs. Connor. I had nodded my head in greeting to Richard and Brenda, but didn't speak to them.

"Kenny, how long are you going to stay mad at me?" As soon as Brenda spoke, all of the adults quit talking. She had really put me on the spot, saying that in front of everyone. I was getting flustered, and didn't really know what to reply to her. If we had been alone, it would have been different. I felt like everyone in the restaurant was looking at me and listening to hear what I was going to answer. I had been thinking that I might be able to pretend that I didn't hear her, but not now, not if everyone else heard her ask me that.

"As long as you go around doing things that get me into trouble, or writing things just to make me feel bad." I wanted to say something to her, to stop her from going forward with this in front of all of our families. I was counting on her unwillingness to speak openly in front of everyone else.

"Emily already explained to you about that letter. I was trying to make you jealous. I love you." I looked over at her mother and father, silently trying to get Brenda to think about her audience before saying anything else to make things worse. "I don't care who hears me, Kenny. I just want things to go back like they were before."

"That's enough of that young lady. You're embarrassing yourself, and all of us, with this ridiculous display. Knock it off, and I mean it." Mr. Connor had taken about as much of this as he could stand. For once, he and I were on the same side. Of course, Richard was enjoying what was happening. He had a smug grin on his face, and was just waiting to see more of a show from us.

"Brenda, maybe this isn't the place to have this discussion. Your father is right about that. Perhaps another time, dear." Mrs. Connor came over and tried to put her arm protectively around Brenda. As much as anything, she was trying to shield her from Mr. Connor's anger. I wasn't going to say anything more. Then, Richard had to open his stupid mouth and call Brenda a slut. What kind of thing is that for a brother to call his sister? Right in front of his parents and all of us too. I never liked him, not at all, but that was even more than my self control could take. Not just for Brenda, but for everyone else who could hear what he'd said to her.

"Richard, you are such a stupid dick. I'd call you an asshole, but that would be slandering other assholes." I had heard Nigel say that a few times, and thought it applied here pretty well. I stood up when I said that to him, realizing, as soon as I said it, that Richard had been trying to get me to say something like that to him, so he'd have an excuse to get back at me for that time at the pool, when I'd pushed him down after punching him in the face. He jumped up too, and was coming after me, but Uncle Bunny moved in front of him quickly and told him to sit back down. Uncle Bunny was fat, but he was also big. He had to outweigh Richard by at least sixty pounds, plus he was an adult. Richard sat back down, but he yelled something at me as he did so. I think he said I was a pussy, and that I hid behind other people.

"Bunny, you should let them go at it if they want to. Kenny would probably be able to take care of himself. He shouldn't say things like that if he isn't willing to back them up afterwards." Mr. Connor actually wanted Richard and I to fight, right there in the restaurant. That seemed very weird to me. I'd never met an adult who encouraged kids to fight before. It didn't matter what he wanted, because all of the rest of us, except Richard were against it.

"We were just leaving, Walt. Instead of trying to get these boys to fight, you should find out why Richard thinks it's okay for him to address Brenda that way. If he were my son, I'd have knocked him right on his ass for calling her that. Bertie, are you ready?" My dad had come around from where he was sitting until he was standing by Mama's side, and between her and Mr. Connor.

"Don't lecture me on how to be a parent, Tom. I'll do what I think needs doing. I don't need any advice from you." Mr. Connor had turned his full attention on dad by then. I think that was exactly what my dad wanted.

"Walt, you're absolutely right, and I apologize if I stepped out of line. I see that you've got everything, and everyone, under control now, so we'll be leaving you to enjoy your meal. Georgia, good to see you again. Kenny, Bunny, we should be leaving now." The waiter came over during all of this, with the bill for our lunch in his hand. He was standing closest to me, wondering who to give the check to, so I took it, and signed my new name, adding a twenty per cent tip to it, before I signed. I think it surprised him when I did that, but he smiled, and moved quickly away from us.

Mama went over and kissed Mrs. Connor on her cheek and whispered something in her ear. Then she bent down and hugged Brenda the same way she usually hugged me. I saw her whispering something to Brenda too, and Brenda looked over at me while she listened, and then nodded her head up and down, and smiled at Mama. We all left after that, with Uncle Bunny and I riding back to the house in his car, and Mama and dad in dad's rental car.

"That was interesting, Kenny. I've never had a girl or a woman make such a public fuss over me. Now that I've seen it up close, I'm glad of that. What was your immediate reaction, when she first started talking to you?"

"It started when I saw them coming in. My first thought was that I hoped they wouldn't come sit by us. Then, when they did, I hoped Brenda wasn't going to try to talk to me. After that, it didn't matter that much. I decided not to say anything to her. I didn't mean to say what I did to her, it just slipped right out of my mouth."

"Women have that power over us, Kenny. We risk great peril whenever we fail to meet their expectations, or to satisfy their needs. As to the latter, it has been my experience that no amount of trying can ever satisfy all of their needs. I have a theory that women are the ones who cause men to fight so much amongst themselves. There is something both primitive and satisfying in striking someone, or even in being struck, that only manifests itself after spending too much time listening to a woman complain. Of course, we must try to resist doing that, because it would be falling right into their hands."

"I really don't like Richard."

"No. I don't like him either. He's similar to how Walt was at that age. Walt improved considerably later, as will Richard. Right now, he thinks he's found a lifetime free pass for himself. Later, when he realizes that his talents aren't quite what he believes them to be, he'll regret his mistakes."

"What do you think Mama was whispering to Mrs. Connor and Brenda?"

"I'm sure it was an expression of solidarity with them both. How that will later unfold, I don't care to hazard a guess. My advice would be for you to be constantly on your guard. Machiavelli would have stood in awe of today's evolved woman. A determined woman can be more ruthless than anything nature has to offer. Give me a tornado anytime. There are ways to safeguard yourself against one of those."

"Do you think Mama would take their side against mine?"

"If it served her purposes, you bet. Bertie will go to any extremes. She sets no limits."

"She fakes her depressions."

"No, Kenny, you're wrong about that. She fakes some of her withdrawals, or at least exaggerates them, but not her depression. That is all too real. Don't fall into the trap that Tommy has. He still believes it's all just a matter of her demonstrating her willful nature. I'm not even sure how much Bertie is still in control of the situation when she is pretending. It is an escalation on her part, but how much is really voluntary?"

"Why doesn't she just try to be as happy as she can be? Why put everyone through all that other stuff, especially if she can control some of it?"

"It has become her power, the way she asserts herself. I believe it is similar to throwing a tantrum. It's dangerous though. There's a very real risk that one of these times she'll go beyond the boundary where any return is possible. Should that occur, she may never return. It would be a mistake for you to confront her about her exaggerated withdrawals, Kenny. It would force her to try to deny it, and to prove you wrong."

"I didn't think of that. So, everybody just pretends to believe it, even Gerta?"

"No. Gerta worries about her not eating, and about her injuring herself by these long episodes. It is bound to take a toll on her later. She really can't help herself at times, Kenny, and it shames her to be so exposed during those periods. Part of her withdrawal is to escape her embarrassment. She is a proud woman, too proud to bend, too proud to allow herself be seen as a helpless victim of her own mind's chemistry. By using them, these withdrawals, even to the small degree that she does, she asserts some semblance of control over it. It is like a pilot of a burning plane deciding on the area he wishes for the ultimate crash to occur."

"She just uses her illness for her own purposes then? That makes her feel better?"

"No, not better, but less a victim, and more in control."

"What do you think I should do about Brenda?"

"There, you're on your own. She is very much her mother's daughter, I'm afraid. I find it remarkable that a girl so young could summon the courage to create such a public scene. I would almost have to conclude that she is a formidable force to be reckoned with. Beware of women who push past boundaries easily, Kenny. They will make your life a constant trial."

"Is Mrs. Connor a constant trial to you?"

"Brenda reminds me of her, and that's all I plan to say to you on this subject. Did you notice how well I was chipping today? I've switched to a new wedge, more loft to it. If I could find a way to improve the rest of my game, I'd soon be challenging the rest of you, and winning back all my money."

"Why do you bet us when you know you aren't going to win?"

"Because it makes you all so happy, of course. Even Bertie. Who else do I have to spend my money on, if not my family?"

"You could spend it on Mrs. Connor, and on Brenda. They both like money more than we do."

"Don't kid yourself, Kenny. They show it more, but that doesn't mean they like it more than we do. You don't make the kind of money that we have by accident, or keep it intact either. Bertie and I are as venal and greedy as anyone else. Having too much to ever spend, we are constantly in search of more to add to what we already have. Money is freedom for us, and power over others. You can never have too much of either."

"Will I get like that too?"

"One can only hope. I proved accurate in my prediction about how Tommy would feel when he came into so much personal wealth. Look at where he invested half of it. He knows that golf learning center will never make a viable business. He might as well have given his money to some charity."

"Didn't you just put in ten million too?"

"That's different, Kenny. I can afford to indulge Bertie in this. She wouldn't have agreed to any plan for making the learning center less ambitious. This way, Tommy won't have his position diluted by Bertie increasing her ownership rights. They will remain equal partners. Really, it was the best possible investment I could make in their future together. Tommy needs to feel equal to her, and this will help in that."

"It's really going to be a nice place to learn how to play better golf. You really should learn to play better."

"I intend to take advantage, once it's fully operational. Did Bertie mention that four of her teaching professionals were women?" Uncle Bunny smiled at me, and I had to laugh too. It made me think of Bea though. I didn't want to bring her up to him though, because I knew he missed her too. We were already home by the time we had finished our conversation. I felt better after riding home with Uncle Bunny too. He had managed to distract me from my meeting with Brenda, and to let me know not to do anything about my awareness that Mama was exaggerating her withdrawals. It was hard for me to even think about someone putting up ten million dollars just to keep a balance between two other people.

We walked into the house, and were not surprised to find Mama and dad in the library, having a drink, and arguing about the Connors. My father was saying that Walt was only reacting the same way most fathers would have, while my mother was blaming him for the way Richard acted, and for not being more sympathetic to Brenda's obvious emotional suffering.

"Did you think about poor Georgia caught in the middle? She'll be the one to bear the brunt of that man's temper. Why she stands for that, I'll never understand. She should have sued for divorce fifteen years ago. She should have never married him in the first place."

"Nothing we could do, then or now. You should keep them all away from Kenny though." Mama looked at my father and smiled at him. I knew he had said absolutely the most perfectly wrong thing to her when he said that. I looked over at Uncle Bunny, hoping that he'd jump in between them and break it up before they could get started. He was backing away, and heading over to the bar to mix himself a drink. I had noticed that Uncle Bunny tried to stay out of their way when they were fighting.

"I've invited Brenda and Georgia to go with Kenny and I into the city for dinner and an art exhibit tomorrow, after you fly back to New York."

"Do you mean Springfield?"

"Of course. There's a new exhibit opening tomorrow night at Klasky's. Since you and Bunny will be unable to attend, I thought Georgia and I would go. We can bring the children, except for that horrid Richard, so they have an opportunity to patch up their differences on the long drive into the city."