Part 1: Fresh Air

Gretchen gave a closed-mouth, steely-eyed smile at her assembled army. There were 12 tonight! The word was spreading around campus. At this rate, she'd need to target another strip club. Or maybe it would be better to set up shifts at Wiggle Room. Shut it down that much faster. That would definitely bring some attention. The Campus Feminists would become a force feared by misogynists throughout the city!

Gretchen smoothed back her short-cut ginger hair. She noticed that Jerica had cut her hair in a similar style. This was great! The other womyn were still sporting 'girlish' hair do's but that would change in time, she was confident. Gretchen hadn't started a club; she had founded a movement!

She stood behind the small podium and the chatter in the room quickly died. All eyes were on her, seeking her guidance, her leadership. She was more than ready to give it.

"My Sisters! My Fellow Womyn! Welcome once again to the weekly planning meeting of the Campus Feminists. In this humble room, a revolution has begun. The misogynist oppressors are trembling with fear at what we've started here. But they can't stop it! The Feminist Furies have already been unleashed!"

The twelve women erupted with applause. Gretchen bowed her head humbly, but kept her green eyes, bright and piercing, on her audience.

"We have three new sisters here with us tonight. Welcome, Paula, Sheryl and Robyn." Gretchen announced. "Robyn, would you stand?"

The statuesque black woman with long jeri curls held back with silver pins stood and smiled at the audience.

"Robyn Perkins is president of the League of Black Women Law Students here on campus," Gretchen explained. "She was really impressed by what we're doing, targeting strip clubs, and she'd like to help out. I'm hoping she can come up with ideas on how we can be even more confrontational without getting shut down. The Wiggle Room is an easy target. It's a local place with few connections. Once we turn to the national chains, you can bet that they're going to have lawyers. We're going to need lawyers of our own. We're going to need to BE lawyers. BE business leaders. BE politicians if we are going to turn this world around!"

Again, applause. She was really growing to enjoy this.

"So, Robyn, if you will, would you explain a little about your organization, your goals and what not, and how you think you could help us?" Gretchen asked.

"Oh, well, sure!" said the law student.

Gretchen had purposely not told Robyn that she planned to ask her to speak. If she was going to be worth her salt as a lawyer, she should be able to speak extemporaneously. There was no point risking having her seem more prepared than Gretchen. After all, it was her club. Gretchen had practiced her own speeches for hours on end in front of the mirror, even before she had founded a club. There shouldn't be any doubt as to who was in charge, even if she was bringing in womyn who were older and more experienced.

Gretchen hardly listened to what Robyn was saying. She was watching, rather, her audience, assessing each of her soldiers in her war against misogyny; what were their strengths? What were their weaknesses? How far would they go for the cause?

In time, Robyn finished. Gretchen invited the other two newbies to stand and introduce themselves to the other womyn as well. Gretchen already knew all about them, having googled them thoroughly when they emailed her asking for the room number. There was another girl who was supposed to be there. Jaime Johnson. There were three Jaime Johnson's in the student directory. The hotmail account could have belonged to any one of them. Gretchen had sent back the room and time and asked for more information about her, trying to identify her before the meeting, know as much as she could going in. But Jaime had never replied. It was odd. But some womyn were just flaky. It couldn't be helped. The key was to identify the flaky ones and use them appropriately. At the very least, they could be examples of the horrors that the patriarchy had inflicted on womynkind. Like those poor, misguided bimbos at The Wiggle Room. They were too far gone to be saved. They could just be pointed out as a warning: don't let this happen to you, Sisters!

Some of the Sisters were starting to wiggle in their seats and to whisper among each other. Thankfully, Paula finished her rambling introduction and sat down before the troops got to restless. Apparently she and Sheryl thought they needed to say as much as Robyn. They hadn't needed to and weren't particularly capable. But they could hold a sign and write down a license plate number as easily as the next soldier. Plus they would serve as a good contrast to Gretchen herself.

She stood and gave one of her most rousing speeches. The audience responded, cheering and clapping as usual. But something was different. Gretchen wasn't sure what it was at first, but it unnerved her, making her falter in her speech. It was their faces. Their smiles were too big. Their eyes were too cheery. Unlike the feminine pride, determined optimism and near religious fervor her speeches usually elicited, her audience now seemed to be enjoying her speech casually. Like she was entertainment. Like she was some goddess-damned Reese Witherspoon movie!

She finished her speech and glared at some of the worst offenders, even as they applauded her, oblivious of her ire. It was time to start planning anyway.

"So, now to the details of how we're going to bring about the revolution" Gretchen announced. "You all know about the effect we're having on that nasty little 'gentlemen's' club on Green Street. We're doing a great job, getting good press and, according to the paper at least, driving the owner towards bankruptcy. With our swelling numbers, we can do even more. We have a couple of options, as I see it. We can divide into shifts, and get the 'Closed' signs up at the Wiggle Room that much faster, or we can diversify and target other..."

There was whispering. And muffled giggling. What the fuck was going on here?

"What's so funny, Chelsea?" Gretchen asked tersely.

Chelsea giggled and snorted.

"I dunno," said the bespectacled blonde. "I think I hear a snake! Ha! Teheeheehee!"

"Eww!" said Tabitha, an Asian woman with long, silken hair sitting beside Chelsea. "I don't like snakes <giggle> They're all squirmy!"

This elicited several giggles from the other girls.

"What's wrong with you?" Gretchen demanded. "You're all acting really weird! And what is that smell?"

Gretchen had just noticed an odd, sweet smell, like cotton candy, just barely at her threshold of consciousness but getting stronger.

"I dunno, but it smells goooood! <Heep! Heep! Snrt!>" said Chelsea.

"It smells all squirmy!" exclaimed Tabitha, looking about at the other girls as if she had just told the funniest joke ever. Apparently she had. The young women collapsed with laughter. It was kind of funny, Gretchen supposed.

"Squirmy," she said out loud, just to see how it felt in her mouth.

All the girls laughed. It was kind of funny, she guessed. At least, it made her feel like laughing. She giggled for half a minute as various other club members tried out the funny word. Then she blinked, looking down at the podium that she was holding with both hands. What was she doing? She had been giving a speech, hadn't she? They had been paying attention to her, but now, they were chattering and giggling among themselves. Tabitha and Chelsea had giggled themselves out of their seats and were sitting on the floor.

"Hey! There's something funny goin' on around here!" Gretchen observed.

"Yeah!" said Robyn. "It's fuckin' hilarious! You girls are the best! Law school meetings suck ass compared to this!"

"That's not what I meant!" Gretchen said, stepping away from the podium to confront her guest. "And don't call us girls! We're Womyn!"

"Well excuuuuse me, Miss Squirmy Britches!" said the law student, then snorted and quivered with mirth.

"I'm not a squirmy bitch!" Gretchen protested, and stuck her tongue out.

"No, no, no!" said Robyn, "Britches, girlfriend! Britches! Like, your panties"

Jerica, who was beside Robyn, collapsed in giggles.

"Gretchen's got squirmy panties!" she exclaimed. "Oh god <heep!> I'd fuckin' kill to see those!"

Robyn giggled and turned to Jerica.

"You got a thing for squirmy panties?" she asked.

"I gotta thing for Gretchen's panties!" Jerica declared. "But don't tell her! It's a secret!"

Robyn hooted and slapped her knee.

"That skinny little white ass?" she asked. "Damn, girl! You can do better than that! My little sister is a total dyke and she's hot as hell! I'll set you up!"

"Really?" Jerica asked. "Oh god, that'd be so cool! <giggle> I been carrying a torch for Gretchen for like months and I'm spendin' all my money on batteries!"

"HellOOO!" Gretchen shouted. "I'm right her, you stupid slut! I never said I was a lesbian! Why you gotta go sayin' that in front of everybody and everything? And what's wrong with my ass?"

"Aw, just shut up and kiss me!" Jerica said, then suddenly attached her face to Gretchen own.

"MNNN!" Gretchen exclaimed as she suddenly found Jerica's tongue in her mouth, one arm rapped around the back of her head to hold it in place, the other snaking down so that she could grab her ass. Gretchen tried to push her away, but pulled her hand back when she realized she had just grabbed the freshman's left boob. It was much bigger than it appeared.

It was actually Jerica who broke of the kiss, over come with giggles at what she had just done, the giggles turning into something more like hiccups, causing her boobs to bounce up and down. Gretchen was confused as to why she couldn't take her eyes off them. Several club members had seen and were laughing at her, hooting and hollering.

"Oh my gawd you're right!" Jerica exclaimed, turning to Robyn. "Her ass is like a boys!"

Gretchen blushed furiously. She was so angry, and confused and... and...

"RRRG!" she exclaimed.

"Now YOU," said Jerica to Robyn, oblivious to Gretchen, "You got yourself an ass! Is your sister's butt like yours?"

Jerica was advancing predatorily on the law student.

"Now wait a minute!" said Robyn, shaking with laughter and holding out a denying hand. "I ain't... shh... I ain't no lezzy... Not like my sister... <giggle>... I ain't never..."

"But you're sister ain't here!" Jerica pointed out. "And I'm horny now!"

Jerica giggled and took hold of Robyn's restraining hand and cupped it around her breast. The black woman giggled, but didn't remove it, nor did she resist when Jerica stepped in closer and ran a playful finger between her thighs. Soon the two were giggling, groping and kissing. Gretchen was awash with confused emotions. Several girls were cheering the Sapphic pair on and mocking Gretchen for having been dissed. This meeting wasn't going right at all!

"That's a funny lookin' snake!" declared Chelsea.

She and Tabitha had been rolling around on the floor giggling but now they were looking up at the bottom of Chelsea's chair.

"It's not squirmy <giggle>" said Tabitha. "It's blinky! Hi Mr. Blinky snake!"

The Asian coed waved at the thing under the chair, then was again overcome by giggles, along with most of the other girls.

"Hey!" Gretchen exclaimed. "What's going on up there?" More to get away from Jerica and Robyn's make out session then anything else, she pushed her way toward the center of the coeds who weren't cheering them on, those who had gathered around Cheslea and Tabitha sitting on the floor.

"Can I see it?" April asked, giggling, as Gretchen came up behind her. She couldn't see what April was asking for, given how tall and broad shouldered the coed was.

"OK, but be gentle," said Tabitha, getting up and giggling. "It's a very rare blinky, hissy snake, aren't you Mr. Blinky!"

Gretchen was so confused. Everything was so weird. She was so dizzy. But she had to see what had stolen all the girls' attention away from her.

She pushed her head underneath April's arm to see Tabitha was holding a long metal tube with a blinking red LED on it. It was hissing. But not like a snake.