Chapter 59

Dad and I joined the rest of the family for my first meal home since Friday morning. Except for when I went moose hunting, this was the longest I'd been away since Diane and I were married. Supper time was always a time of fun and fellowship in our home since my earliest days, and tonight was no exception. The kids kept up a lively chatter, Rhiannon going on about school and Jenny just being a lively kid. Dad kept us laughing telling of the antics of his new black Lab pup, which he named Clyde after our venerable old dog. The adults all studiously ignored talking about my weekend except for Diane asking if I got Carol on her plane all right. When she mentioned Carol, she went all moon-eyed. How could it be that she had fallen for, and from her expression, pretty hard, someone she'd only written, and spoken to on the phone two or three times? But then, I remembered Carol's reaction to Diane was similar. There was definitely something special happening.

Supper over, the women folk did the cleanup while Dad and I puttered around in my shop. I showed him the old tool bag my ring had been in. Dad was sharing an off-colour joke with me when Diane called down they were finished if I wanted to come up and start explaining myself. The phrasing left me dry-mouthed and nervous. Dad saw my nervousness. He put his hand on my shoulder and reassured me. "She has to know the whole story sooner or later, David. If you didn't tell her, either your mother or I would eventually. We've all kept it bottled inside for 'way too long."

I gave my dad a quick hug. Dad and I, always fairly close, had become even closer ever since I started dating Carol when I was fifteen. He truly was my very best Best Friend. "You're right, Dad. I'm not afraid of the truth. It's just that I've kept it from Diane Marie so long I don't know how she'll react. Well, let's go face the music. I just hope the fiddler's price isn't too high."

Dad and I joined the family in the living room. I was going to sit by Diane on the couch, but Mom was there already, her arm protectively around Diane with Rhiannon curled up on her other side. I sat in my chair to start. Dad sat in his, and Jenny promptly climbed into his lap and snuggled up. I glanced at my watch and wondered where the time had gone — it was almost seven thirty. Carol would be calling at eight, if not before, and I hadn't even started yet. She was going to be more of a participant than we thought. <Good, I need the extra moral support.>

We all sat an awkward silence for a few seconds. Finally Diane asked softly. "David? What's going on? Why did Mom say Carol Anne had shared you with me for as long as we've been married? It sounds almost like you were married to her first."

Somehow I knew she'd ask this question right at the start, and had steeled myself to it. How she reacted to my answer would determine the course of everything else. "Diane Marie, I am married to Carol Anne. We've been separated for nineteen years."

"Separated? Not divorced? <I nodded.> But... but that makes you a bigamist, and then I'm not your legal wife." Diane started to cry, and Mom held her close.

"No, Diane Marie, you are my legal wife. Carol Anne and I were married under the Old Ways with the blessing of the Goddess, but we never married under the Law of the Land as you and I did."

"But you still think of her as your wife? After all these years?"

"Yes, My Love, I do, and so does she. You better hear the rest. There's another, too."

"Another? Another what? Wife? Who?" Diane was getting just a little angry, and had shaken off Mom's comforting arm. She sat bolt upright on the couch.

"Yes, another wife that I'm still married to -- Carol Anne's sister, Riekie."

"I thought she was just a special friend."

"Oh, she's that, alright. That's how I chose to remember her, even to myself, to ease the pain of separation."

"Why didn't you ever tell me any of this? I thought we didn't have any secrets! And Mom and Dad, you knew about this too?"

Mom spoke for both. "Yes. Dear, we knew. We were a part of it. But listen to David, and maybe you'll begin to understand. Please try..."

Diane moved away from Mom, shaken and obviously hurt. When Mom moved back toward her, she held up her hand, holding Mom off. Rhiannon, though, came to her other side and cuddled up to her. With a wisdom 'way beyond her years, she told her mother. "Listen to Daddy, Mommy. I think he's going to tell us a real sad story. He needs us to hear it."

"Rhiannon says I should listen, Dave. < Uh-oh! No more 'David'!> I will for a little but I'm not sure about you any more. Before you go on — once again -- why didn't any of you ever tell me?"

'Diane Marie, the pain was just too deep. How and why I broke up with My Girls (My Girls! The feeling is coming back!) ate my insides until I met you. It was all I could do to acknowledge their existence to you, let alone tell you all there was to know. I asked Mom and Dad not to tell because the pain was so deep. I didn't want to think of it. The pain was still so bad, I wouldn't have gone this weekend if Bob hadn't asked as a friend, and it was also my chance to confront his father, who, as it turns out, was the author of all my pain for the last twenty years. Now, do you want to hear the story, or will I pack and leave now?"

Diane must have seen the pain in my eyes as I remembered, because her tone softened. "You're not going anywhere just yet, David! <Whew! Back to 'David'!> I'm hurt and angry at secrets being kept from me, but I don't hate you, and I still love Carol Anne. If you leave, I'll lose any chance of ever seeing her, I think. 'Sides, Rhiannon thinks we should hear you out. She's wise; I trust her, and more importantly, she trusts you. So let's hear your story."

We were interrupted by the phone. I answered it, and sure enough, it was Carol. She sounded tired and worried. "Hi, Lover. What'd I miss?"

"Nothing, we're just getting started. I just told Diane Marie that you and I and Riekie were married twenty years ago, but not how that all came to be. It's gonna be a little rough, I think. I was just starting to tell our story when you called. I think it'll be a lot easier with you to help. Is Ben listening?"

"Ben's not well tonight, so he's lying down. He won't tell me anything except he just had a bad day. Those 'bad days' are getting to be too frequent for my liking. You're my true husband, but he's still my best friend and confidant, and I don't want anything to happen to him. He said if he felt up to it, he might join in later. I almost didn't call because I was so worried about him, but he insists he's OK, and that this is too important. So, here I am."

"Ok, I'm switching over to the speaker phone now... Can you hear me fine?"

"You sound a little hollow, but I can hear you Ok."

"I'll have everyone else say hello to you, so you can tell if I have to make adjustments for you to hear them."

I had everyone say hello to Carol, and she reported that she could hear them fine except Dad. He turned his chair a bit, and then she could hear him well. Diane waited until the last to do her 'sound check'. "Hi, Car... I mean Mrs. Lloyd. I'm glad to hear your voice, but not so sure of the circumstances."

"Hi, yourself, Mrs. Lloyd. This time has been too long coming. Please don't be angry with David and me — our pain was too deep to tell anyone much of anything. I still love you, you know. Getting on that plane today was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I wanted to come home with David so bad!"

"Home?"

"Yes, that's my home, and I miss it. We can talk about that later. Let's hear David, shall we?"

"Ok... David?"

"Before I start, Carol Anne, do you want to make another announcement before I start?"

Everyone looked at me strangely, Diane expecting some nuclear bombshell, I thought.

"I'll wait until we're done. We might need some good news to cheer people up before we're done."

Dad kind of knew, now, so he smiled and suggested I get on with it, that he had an idea what we were talking about, and agreed with Carol. The women at my end looked totally mystified, but not so concerned, especially Diane, after Dad interceded. How they'd take Carol's 'good news', I wasn't sure.

"Ok, then here's my story. Carol Anne, Mom and Dad, feel free to jump in wherever you think I left out something important."

My story was directed mainly at Diane and Rhiannon. I told them everything, right up until this evening --everything — the whole twenty year saga.

I started my story from where I walked up the Scotts' front step and had my epiphany with the 'vision in white'. I told everything except the stroke by stroke details of the lovemaking. I told them how Carol and I learned the effect of our meeting was mutual. I told them about the phone sex incident and the effect it had on everyone, especially my friendship speech that so impacted Riekie, and about our growing friendship and love for her

I told them about the afternoon on the couch where Carol made me promise to make a baby with her someday and her promise to hold me to it, which is the promise Diane allowed us to keep, and Riekie's help in letting us have that afternoon alone. I told them about the rest of that Civic Holiday weekend where Bob Sr. had threatened me and I challenged him. Carol asked why I didn't say anything to her then. I told her I thought she was close enough with her father at that time that she would take it the wrong way and reject me. She allowed as how it might indeed have put a strain on her of divided loyalties we didn't need then.

I told them about my birthday party and Carol's ring. I showed them my ring and the inscription inside. Diane asked why she'd never seen it before. I told her about losing it, thinking it was stolen, only to find it Friday just before I left.

I got into some detail, with Carol's input, about the special birthday present and how we became married, including Riekie tying the knot for us and being our witness, and about the sheet going to Carol's family. Carol told about her family's involvement, and the effect her screaming had on Bob and Riekie. I even told about out trip to town to get our 365's and the effect Carol had on the men in the room that day.

To this point, Mom and Dad knew most of the story. They picked up on a few details, but otherwise kept silent. As I watched her, Diane, from being skeptical, hurt, and angry, gradually became engrossed. Her expression of amazement and wonder as the story unfolded grew with the telling and was worth the price of admission. Her only comment was.

"Mom told me to expect a story of monumental love shared many ways, but I never expected anything like this. And you guys felt like this when you were only sixteen? Wow! I'm hurt now that you didn't tell me before because it's such a beautiful love story. Please continue, David."

Carol interjected at this point. "Riekie called it 'a love story that should be made into a song for the ages'. But you'll hear later why David wasn't able to tell you about us. Go on, David, you're doing fine."

I picked up where I left off. I told them how on the day after we tied the knot, Riekie declared her love for us, complicating matters, and how, two nights later, once we realized those feelings were mutual, we married her. Then I told about the meeting with their family and how happy they were that the three of us had wed. I didn't get into too much detail about Riekie's special wedding day, except to explain how we were encouraged to have it and why. I described how I felt there was a Power guiding us and about my 'Cosmic Moment'. I told them how profound it was, and that we all came away from that day even deeper in love. I told Diane to remember that 'Cosmic Moment', because it had an effect on what happened this past weekend. I told them about Riekie's blanket and that we gave it to Tante Pie to keep as well.

Carol did interrupt me. She said I was too sketchy on the details, and got a little graphic, especially when she described how they were dressed, what they looked like that day, and how very pretty Riekie's 'Sweet Pussy' was. Dad blushed at her description. <Grin> I think she was trying to create a mental picture for Diane of Riekie as a real beauty, but gave Dad a fantasy... It was working, too. Every time Carol or I described Riekie, Diane looked a little dreamy and Dad smiled.

I took a small break and asked for questions. There were none. Rhiannon was transfixed. For a six year-old, she seemed to be absorbing the whole thing. She only interrupted if I used a word she didn't understand.

Diane sat there, frozen in amazement, and even awe, whispering over and over quietly to herself, "So much love! So beautiful!"

Mom and Dad, as I said, knew most of the story, having heard parts from time to time, not just from our meeting that Labour Day, but from reminiscences My Girls <My Girls! Happy memories!) and I had shared with them, but they still learned some things they didn't know.

This brought us up to the meeting at the farm with Mom and Dad. I told them about this meeting and how my parents not only supported us, but encouraged us in our three-way marriage. I told them about Mom's revelation of the Goddess. I went into some detail of how Mom and Dad had opened their home to us and made it My Girls' home too.

Mom and Dad added a few comments of their own and Dad repeated his joke about the girls having to tough it out and bunk with me because we were short of beds.

Carol took this opportunity to explain to Diane that this was when she first considered the farm to be truly her Home, as did Riekie, and why it was so hard for her to return to Calgary today. I could see that Diane was deeply moved, as were Mom and Dad.

I continued with the story of how I got My Girls their rings. Dad was the only one who knew that part completely. Mom knew a bit of it, but Carol knew nothing of the lengths I went to, to acquire two identical rings or the cost involved.

Diane looked at me in wonder and love, her eyes wet. "You loved them so much!"

"I did and do, and that love was and is returned many times over."

I continued on about that Christmas, and how I started noticing Bob Sr. seemed to look at his daughters in an unfatherly way. Carol asked why I never said anything, and I told her I put it down as jealousy on my part, especially given the chill between us since the summer. When I told them about the Christmas Eve party where I gave the girls their rings and Mom performed the rite with the blessing of the Goddess, Diane was actually in tears, and kept saying over and over, "So beautiful... so beautiful." She moved back to Mom and cuddled with her, loving Mom.

When I got to New Years 1966 and how we got to use the front rooms as out apartment and about the girls' private times, Carol picked the story from there. She did a marvelous job of bringing us right up to the prom, and sharing with them how our love continued to grow and mature. We told the story of the prom together, as it was our last truly happy time. I called a break at this point and told Carol we were going to show Diane the pictures. Strangely enough, they were the only photos from that whole period. Nobody thought to take pictures at Christmas, especially our wedding that night, New Years or My Girls birthdays.

Before we showed Diane the pictures, she commented on the capitalized My Girls <My Girls! Music, not pain, to my ears again!> whenever I spoke of Carol and Riekie, and how much love she heard when I said it. I told her My Girls now included her, and she almost swooned.

Diane's first look at My Girls <My Girls! That night, they truly were!> in the prom photos was a wonder to behold; her reaction was more profound than I expected. Every picture of the girls was scrutinized closely, and on each one an exclaimed, "So beautiful! David! They're gorgeous! They are probably the most beautiful women I've ever seen!" She knew which was which from my descriptions. Riekie was easy to tell because of the blonde hair, and although she didn't say anything, Diane seemed to pay closer attention to Riekie's picture, as if seeing someone she already knew. She exclaimed to Carol. "Carol Anne! You're stunning! David tells me you look much the same today! Now I see who I fell in love with sight unseen!"