Chapter 40

Somehow I made it home that night. It actually wasn't that late. Mom met me at the door. One look at my swollen eyes and tear streaked face, and she knew. She wrapped me in a tender motherly hug and held me. I broke down again.

"Oh, David, I'm so sorry. Do you want to, can you talk about it?"

"N-no, n-not yet, Mom. It hurts too much."

I got myself back under control, wiping my nose on the sleeve of my tunic. I'd forgotten I was still in uniform.

"I better get changed."

I went to our, no, my room to change. It was almost unbearable. There were reminders of them everywhere: the half-burnt scented candles from our last night together; some of their clothes still hung in the closet; toiletries; the gifts; and above all their scent! It permeated the entire room, a mixture of perfume, and personal scents. The bed reeked of them, even after two months and fresh laundry. I didn't think I could stay in there, smelling them, but as I sat on the bed to take off my boots, I reached for one of the pillows and held it to my face. I inhaled deeply, and for a brief moment, they were back. I finished taking off my uniform and out of habit hung it neatly in the closet next to Carol's shirt she wore when she worked with Mom. It hadn't been washed, and smelled strongly of her. I took it off the hanger and held it to my face. Her aroma filled my senses as I stumbled to the bed and fell across it. Tired beyond all reckoning and surrounded by the scent of the women I'd loved and lost, I fell into a deep sleep populated by dreams of blonde and brown heads laughing in the summer sun dissolving into ghoulish skulls.

I have no idea how long I slept, the dreams keeping the needed rest from me. My body rested, but my mind churned and frothed. When I awoke on Thursday, it was daylight. The pillow and Carol's shirt were soaked. I'd been crying most of the night I guess, but I didn't remember. Feeling like shit, I stumbled out of bed and hit the shower, the warm water relaxing stiff muscles a little. I got dressed and wandered downstairs looking for coffee. Mom was in the kitchen, and set a fresh cup in front of me as I sagged into a chair.

"Hungry?'

"Naw, I don't feel much like eating."

"I don't care how bad you're hurting, I know you haven't eaten since you left Ipperwash. You can't function without food in you."

Never argue with your mother about food. She may force it down you.

"Alright, I'll try something."

Mom quickly whipped up a sturdy breakfast and placed it before me. I didn't realize how hungry I really was until I smelled the bacon. I almost inhaled the food, it disappeared so fast.

"Thought you said you weren't hungry?"

"That's what I thought, but I guess my body had other ideas."

"David, how bad is it really?"

I showed Mom Riekie's letter. It explained in her few words far better than I ever could.

When she finished, she just sat there, stunned then started the questions. Dad came in as she began.

"What does Bob know?"

"Nothing. He says he was here when Riekie made her sudden departure."

"What does Dolly know?"

"Same. She was out the night that set Riekie off. She said Riekie did tell her she had to be gone before I got home. Bob thinks, but doesn't know for sure, there's more to it than fighting with Carol Anne over my alleged cheating."

Dad interjected.

"What do you mean?"

"Bob thinks his dad is involved somehow. For myself, I'm sure he had something to do with poisoning Carol Anne's mind against me. Riekie told me in her last letter to camp she didn't like Carol Anne's attitude any time she'd been talking with Bob Sr., and he made some nasty remarks to her about me once when he was drunk. Bob thinks there's something more going on with him though, he just can't figure what or how. I think he's right, but like him, I can't imagine what else he could have said or done to piss Riekie off like that. Look at what Riekie says in her letter, 'Carol knows, but she won't believe me.'."

Mom spoke again.

"So what are you going to do, David?"

"Play it by ear. Carol Anne has holed up in her room being miserable. Now that Bob Sr. is away again, maybe I'll be able to talk to her some and win her back. She wouldn't look me in the eye, either.

"Mom, what, if anything, did Riekie say to you when she phoned? Probably nothing, I know. I think that was before the trouble started."

"She was angry with her father for ending their holiday and not allowing them to visit us. She asked after Val and Heather and said she missed us. She wanted to talk to all of us, but I think her dad made her hang up, because she ended the call quickly. That was the last time we heard from anyone until Bob came out and asked if he could stay over a couple nights because of the girls' screaming matches. That was the first we suspected something might be wrong, but we had no idea what it was all about."

Now Dad spoke.

"David, there's not much we can do except maybe try to contact Riekie. I think you're right, though that it's probably a waste of time. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Where's she staying?"

"With Tante Pie and Tante Jo. She was going to stay there this year for college anyway. I imagine they're as upset as anyone over this, seeing as they helped Carol Anne and me get married in the first place."

Mom perked up her ears. Her next question was a dandy.

"Speaking of which: are you still married?"

"As far as I know. From the tone of her letter, Riekie still thinks we are. I still think we are, and for some strange reason, I think Carol Anne still thinks so too. It's more like we're separated, perhaps permanently, than divorced. There's that chance, however faint, of getting back together. Riekie actually makes that clear in her letter."

"Well, that's something, anyway. Even a small hope is better than none. I love those girls like my own, and I'm sure the Goddess still has something planned for the three of you. It's just not clear to me, my Sight isn't strong enough."

"Mom, the Goddess, or what I call the Power, or whatever, has abandoned me. I felt it leave last night. For the first time in over a year, I'm completely adrift."

"Oh, you poor boy! I knew there was an evil about! I MUST find a pure coven and restart my training! That is my job in this affair, I think. David, never give up hope. It may take a long time, but you and your wives WILL be back together someday, I'm positive. Now, what are your plans for today, your first full day home?"

'Haven't any."

'I suggest you spend some time with Bob at his place."

"OK."

I called Bob to make sure he was home and drove in to visit. We spent a few hours together on the living room floor playing with souped-up slot car racers, his newest fascination. He even got me to laugh a few times. Carol came down once to get something from the kitchen. She didn't speak to me, but she did stand in the doorway watching us with the little cars for a while, then she went back to her room. She looked a mess, her eyes swollen and bloodshot from crying, her hair unkempt and her clothing wrinkled. Before I left, I went up to her room and knocked on the door.

"Y-yes?"

"It's me again."

"I told you, go away!"

"I will. I'm leaving in a few minutes. You're not being fair to me, Carol Anne. I don't even know for sure what it is I'm supposed to have done."

"Tell that to your new girl friend!"

'What new girl friend?"

"Her! The one at camp who thinks you're her Knight!"

"Patty? Is that what this is all about? Patty? Because I helped her get back with Roy? That's a hoot! The last I heard from them, they're planning to get married."

"But you kissed her! And you had your arm around her!"

"I didn't kiss her she kissed me, on the cheek, no less, thanking me for being a Friend. And so what if I hugged her? I hug Bob as a friend. I hug Sandra as a friend. What's wrong with that?"

"There were others, too."

"That is pure and utter bull shit! Carol Anne Scott! I have NEVER lied to you! But someone else has been lying to you. So believe me when I tell you this: I love you more than I can describe, and you're KILLING ME!"

"I don't want to talk about it any more, and I REALLY don't want to talk to YOU! NOW GO AWAY!"

"OK. Have a nice night, My Love. I do love you. Someday you'll figure it out."

I didn't run away this time. Instead, I went back downstairs and said my goodbyes properly before leaving.

The next day, Friday, was the same routine. I went there ostensibly to see Bob. We messed around for a few hours playing with the fast little cars and getting some of our projects sorted out. Dolly even had me stay for supper. Carol came down to eat, but took her plate to the living room and ate while watching TV. After supper, she stayed with the TV, and didn't run off to her room.

Bob Sr. arrived shortly after we ate and seemed surprised to see me. Seeing him made my blood run cold; I was sure he was somehow at the centre of my problems. He was civil and even seemed friendly when he asked about camp, although I thought he spoke a little too loudly. Carol could hear him in the living room.

"Well, Dave, how was camp?"

"Very busy."

"Not too busy to have some fun though, eh? I hear there are lots of young ladies in Grand Bend ripe for the picking! Lots of free time and leave for doing what all soldiers do, eh?"

"Sir, I don't know where you get your information; sounds like somebody has been shooting you a line of hooey. The only time I was ever in Grand Bend was the third week of camp for a company outing to the Ausable Amusement Park. The only other times we left the Base were for Field Training Exercises."

"Hmmph! You make it sound boring and dull!"

"Camp wasn't 'dull' at all. I went there to learn. I met some really interesting guys and made a lot of new friends. The canoe expedition and the dune bivouac were a ball. We were too busy to get bored. After all, they crammed three months of training into just less than two."

He was really beginning to piss me off with his misinformed attitude when he abruptly ended the conversation.

"Well, glad you survived! Now I must meet and greet the family."

The only one he hadn't met and greeted so far was Carol, sitting by herself in front of the TV. He asked Dolly to make him a drink and strutted into the living room. I heard him say "Hi, Baby, how's my little girl?" and heard her reply softly "Hi, Daddy."

Dolly asked me to take Bob Sr.'s drink to him. When I delivered it, he wasn't in his usual chair, but was on the couch with Carol. She was cuddled to him like a little girl and he had his arm around her, his hand suspiciously close to her breast. I didn't like the look of it, and I liked even less his comment.

"My little girl has very nice legs, don't you think, Old Boy? Makes you want to see what's at the top, what?"

"Carol Anne knows very well what I think of her legs, Sir. Yes, they are very nice, but I don't think it's appropriate for two men, especially when one is her father, to be discussing a lady's charms as if she isn't even here."

"Hmmph!"

I got out of there, and left soon after. It was the long Labour Day Weekend, and because Bob Sr. was home, I didn't hang around much. I didn't see much of Carol at all.

I was at the Scotts' Monday, and was there when Bob Sr. left to return to work. He seemed to monopolize Carol. The few times I did see her over that weekend, she never said a word to me, but the look she gave me was one of hurt, anger, and something else I found encouraging — just a hint of longing... After he left, she went to her room. When it was time for me to leave, I went up and knocked on her door.

"Yes?"

"It's me, again."

"Go away; I have nothing to say to you."

I heard her starting to sob again. All weekend, whenever I saw her, she looked dry-eyed, but tonight she was starting to weep once more.

"Carol Anne, I love you. Nothing will ever change that. I thought it before, but now I'm convinced your father has said something to you about me. Whatever it was, I'm telling you it's a lie. He told me last year he was going to break us up. Looks like he's succeeding."

"You're the liar! Don't you dare talk about my Daddy like that!"

"You think what you want, then. Just remember, I really do love you."

"Go away!"

"OK. Good night My Darling. May the Goddess protect you."

School started the next day. Carol and I were in Grade 12 but different classes. Carol managed to pull herself together enough to go to class. I kept up my regular school activities, cadets and football. Jim Brown, the guy from the Prom stopped me in the hall and asked what was wrong with Carol. I told him we were going through a rough stretch and left it at that.

Every day after football practice, I went to the Scotts'. Practice ran later than the bus, so I would go to Bob and Carol's where Dad picked me up on his way home from work. Every day I would knock on her door, and tell her I loved her and that the stories she'd heard from her father were false. This went on for two weeks.

The first week, I got the same response as I'd been getting before, but she didn't yell, and seemed to listen. That weekend, Bob Sr. was away on one of his trips, so I hung out at their place more. On Sunday, Bob and I were out on the back porch lighting the barbecue for Dolly when Sandy, the youngest of the boys, came to me and said.

"Dave, Carol wants to know why you're hanging around all the time. She told me to tell you to go away. She doesn't want you here."

I saw Bob's face get red. He'd about had enough of what he thought was her stupidity, and was ready to blow. Sending young Sandy to carry her messages was close to the last straw for him. I put my hand on Bob's arm and shook my head. I was tempted to charge up to her room and yell through her door, but instead sent my message through her courier.