Chapter 35

Carol and I returned to the house hoping to be able to resolve some issues, that while not a problem now, could very well plague us in the future. It wasn't very long, maybe an hour, that we were alone, but it was quality time we'd just spent together. Yes, we'd just been doing a routine job on the farm, but the point was, we did it as just the two of us. We'd had time to talk and reconnect at a level we used to share before we married Riekie. Riekie needed similar time with me for us to make our own connection, or more properly, explore and define the deep connection we already shared but had not been able to do so privately. She and Carol, through the benefit of being sisters living in the same house and sharing a bedroom, had already done so. Now she needed to be with me one-on-one, and Carol and I needed to get that back. Carol was concerned we would lose Riekie if we weren't able to do this.

How far we had come! From being told we were being selfish with Riekie, now we were openly thinking of her welfare and how best to meet her needs within our relationship, as opposed to our own. Carol and I had now become so emotionally interdependent with Riekie, we could not think of ourselves without thinking of her.

It was shortly after lunch when we returned from the barn. We had to have a meeting of the larger family before our small family could have ours. Carol joined Riekie and the other women while I went to get Dad. She was to set up our meeting with them, so no one would be completely in the dark. Dad and Bob were still napping in their chairs, but what I had to discuss was so important, I woke them up. I asked Dad to join us in the kitchen. Carol and I wanted to talk to Mom and him. Because of the nature of what we wanted to talk about involved Bob to some extent, I asked him to join us too.

Bob, Dad and I joined the ladies at the kitchen table. Carol had included Val and Heather, which I thought was very thoughtful of her, although Heather would soon get bored and run off to play. While it was our privacy as a new family that was at issue, some of the resolutions involved all the others in some way or other, from giving up physical space when we there, to giving up time with us. I thought how wonderful it was that truly important discussions took place in the kitchen. We were back to our roots.

When everyone was seated or lounging comfortably against their favourite door jam (Bob was an inveterate door jam leaner.), I 'opened' the meeting.

"Mom and Dad, this should be a fairly short family meeting. Basically, we have some requests we want to make of you.

"Today, while doing something as simple as the chores, Carol Anne and I discovered and discussed something so important and fundamental to our own relationship with ourselves and Riekie, we have to bring it here to the whole Lloyd family, and by association, Bob.

"What we found was we were spending quality time with just the two of us, something we haven't been able to do since we married Riekie. We realized it was so important to us, and we missed it so much, we want more of it."

Riekie paled and looked frightened. I reached my hand across the table to hers and squeezed reassuringly. Carol, seeing the same thing, sitting next to her, moved her chair closer and put her arm around Riekie. I spoke to Riekie directly.

"What we discussed was our need for this one-on-one with each of our partners. Riekie, you and I have never had a chance to be alone for any length of time to share, explore and define who we are with each other. That is a grave injustice to both of us. It's nobody's fault. Circumstances have just worked out so we couldn't. I'm hoping now that we can, with the help of Mom and Dad, be better able to work it so we can have that quality time together. After we finish here, the three of us will have our own family meeting to work out the fine details of how we can achieve this."

Riekie, hearing this and reassured by our touches, visibly relaxed. I spoke then to the others.

"Mom and Dad, you have made it abundantly clear that whenever they're here, this is the girls' home, too. Basically, we want to raise that bar a little. It will cost you, Bob and my sisters nothing but the effort to allow us more space as our own family. I could have spoken to you quietly with our requests, and you would have probably gladly granted them, but given the importance of why we're making them, everyone should be informed and understand better where we're coming from.

"First, we would like the use of the big rooms for the rest of the day so we three, by ourselves, with no one else present, can have our own family meeting to work out how we're going to get more time with each other, rather than the three of us always together, but also to spend time alone, again just the three of us. For as surely as we need some one-on-one with each other, we need time to be a family together. Except for Riekie's wedding day, and a few times out behind the barn and last night, we have had no time to just be our own family. There's always someone with us as a chaperone — no offense, Bob. Or it's been a social setting like last night's party, or even together with this family.

"Secondly, whenever they're here, we'd like the use of those rooms as our private space so we can be a family. Not that we want to be exclusive. Most of the time, the doors would be open for the rest of you to come and go as you please, but still recognizing it as our private space. The only time the doors would be closed would be for truly private matters. There are lots of things we'd like to talk about and discuss that are either very private, or that we just can't talk to others about before we speak among ourselves, and decisions to be taken. Every family needs that, but we have no place to call our own yet, and are unlikely to for the next couple years at least. It's fine for us to be able to go for walks to be by ourselves, but the weather limits that."

Riekie's growing smile indicated that she now understood, and had nothing to fear. Carol was nodding her head in complete agreement with everything I said. I continued.

"Thirdly, we want the girls and Bob to be here more often, both for sleepovers and day visits. Basically, our second request doesn't mean much without this last. Our winter and spring schedules at school aren't as hectic as this past fall, and we've grown used to the extra workloads, too, so we should have more weekends available to spend together. I know there's concern that we'll raise suspicions by having them here too much, especially overnight, but if the invitation is extended by my parents, that should prevent most of it. We can even say they're helping Mom redecorate or some such thing. We know it's an extra burden to have three more bodies in the house, and we'll understand if you refuse or limit us because of crowding. That's about it. If you can't see your way clear on the last two, at least please let us have the rooms for today."

Mom and Dad looked at each other. Mom nodded, and Dad spoke.

"David, your first request is easy. You can use the big rooms as long as you need today. The things you need to discuss among you are important enough we could not, in any way, refuse you. No one will disturb you. The second is also easy. Whenever your family is here, those rooms are yours to use as your own, but will you let me use my chair, please? It's better than keeping them closed up for the parson." Mom stuck her tongue out at him for that remark. "Your third request is a little more difficult, as we are going to be deceiving the Scotts with subterfuge. I'm a little uncomfortable with that, but I think we can manage, so with that small caveat, we grant that request as well. Maybe you could say something Lori?"

"I think I can. First of all, we're not worried about overcrowding; it's a big house and larger families than this have lived here before. Secondly, we won't be deceiving the girls' parents as much as you might think. David, your suggestion of using redecorating as a ruse is brilliant and maybe even a little prescient. I was going to redecorate every room upstairs anyway, but didn't have the help. Now, thanks to your suggestion, I do, if the girls are willing, and it will be a legitimate reason to have them out. It does mean when they're here you won't have them all to yourself all the time though, but then when the good weather comes, you'll be spending time in the fields anyway. This should work out perfectly. I'll call Dolly and explain what I'm doing, and ask if I can borrow the girls for a few weekends, and I'm sure we will develop such a good relationship that Don and I will invite them for the holiday weekends, too. Call it repayment for the Scotts having David at the cottage all summer. That lets you off the hook as a chaperone, too, Bob. There will probably be times when you won't want or be able to come the same weekends as your sisters. Is that OK with you girls? Call it rent on your little 'apartment'."

Both girls got up and hugged Mom their approval of her plan. Dad spoke again.

"David, your mother and I once again are impressed with the maturity and intelligence you've shown in dealing with what could have developed into a rather thorny problem for your fledgling family. That Carol Anne arrived at the same conclusion and showed the same concern speaks volumes for her own. I'm sure if Riekie had been able to discuss it with you, she would have shown the same level of maturity. That she wasn't able, just points out that the problem is real. All that aside, it's your mature, reasoned and responsible approach in calling this meeting and handling it so well that really impresses us. For a sixteen year-old, that is remarkable, and although you say your new-found maturity is just the way we raised you making it self known when faced with adult situations, I think there's more to it than that. I think you have what your grandmother calls an 'old soul', making you wise beyond your years. That you are no longer a boy and are now a man among men is very apparent."

Such high praise from the man I respected and loved most in the entire world was high praise indeed. I was humbled by his words.

Riekie, beaming, jumped from her chair, ran to me, and threw her arms around me. She declared.

"That's the MAN I fell in love with!"

Carol reached across the table and took both my hands. "Me, too!"

The meeting ended there, with hugs and kisses from the girls for my folks. Heather had managed to hang in without getting bored, and climbed up on the girls' laps to cuddle with each one in turn. She asked them.

"Are you my sisters now?"

Carol answered for both.

"Yes, Munchkin, but you mustn't tell anybody until we say you can, OK?"

"Deal."

We sat with the family and kibitzed awhile longer. Val wanted to know if she could still do her homework on the dining room table. She was assured that the big rooms were open all the time except when the girls were there, and even then she could use them if she checked with us first in case we wanted to be alone.

And so another milestone was added to our new family's history. We had a private place of our own, and the time to use it. Nest thing up was to have our own very first family meeting. I gathered my wives and we excused ourselves from the rest. Mom said she'd knock when supper was ready if the door was still closed.

The three of us moved to the dining room. It would serve as our de facto 'kitchen', as most of our family business would be conducted at the table, just like we had just done with the rest of the family in the main kitchen.

As I closed the door, a blonde bombshell threw herself into my arms and kissed me with all the passion and love she could muster, hugging me so tight I could hardly breathe. When she released me, I stepped back and caught my breath.

"Not that I'm complaining, what was that for?"

"For being you and because I love you so much! I was so scared today! When you started talking about you and Carol Anne wanting, needing, to be alone, I was sure you were going to ask me to leave."

"That was the farthest thing from our minds. One of the reasons the subject came up was we were afraid you'd leave us if you couldn't have private time with each of us, and that brings me to why we're in here by ourselves right now. Let's all sit at our 'kitchen' table and try to sort out how we're going to do this. I think better there."

We sat at one end of the table, within arm's reach of each other. I gave the floor to Carol.

"Carol Anne, you were the first to actually speak openly about this issue, even if we did think of it at the same time. Tell Riekie what you told me."

"Riekie dear, today when David and I did the chores, we were doing something together and having fun with just the two of us like we used to. We weren't all that long, but the time we spent as just the two of us was so nice! I just knew then, that we each need private time alone with David and with each other. You and I live together already, and we do get that special time with just the two of us. We talk and hold each other and love each other. Our time together, just you and me, is so special we often don't even need to talk.

"Before we married you, David and I used to have times like that ourselves, and we miss them. Remember our evening walks last summer? It may have been only an hour each day but it was our special time to be alone and talk or just be quiet and feel each others love. We don't do that anymore, and we need it.

"Since you married us, circumstances have forced us all to be together all the time with none of us able to be alone with one of the others except for you and me. David and I need time together to keep and build on what we already had. You and I do have time together and our relationship has grown stronger because of it. But, and this is a big but, you and David have never had that chance to be alone to learn and explore what you have that's special just between the two of you. Ever since Tante Pie warned me we could lose you if we were selfish, I've been scared to death you'd leave us. Spending quality private time with David is your right. It's his right too. I think it's also a responsibility of each of us to spend private time with each of our partners, just one-on-one, as David says. How'm I doing David?"

"Couldn't have said it better, My Love. Riekie, I love you more than I can describe. I want and need the opportunity to tell you privately how I feel, and explore how you feel. Carol and I have had and used the chances we got well. We want to reclaim that for ourselves, but you and I need the same things too.

"Hon, there's more to it than just going one-on-one with each of our partners, too. Each of us also needs time alone, by themselves for quiet personal reflection and maybe to sort out thoughts without other people constantly clamoring for our attention. In a perfect world, when two of us want to be alone, it would coincide with the third person's need to be by their selves. We don't live in that perfect world, but maybe we can adapt, such that when two of us want or need that special time, the third will learn to use the resulting enforced solitude for their quiet time. Or vice versa, when one person wants some alone time, the other two can use it as their quality together time. It may be that all three of us from time to time will need to be alone with our own thoughts at the same time. I think that one is relatively easy to work out.

"We also need just what we're doing now, time for just the three of us, time for us to be our own family, discussing matters that no one else needs to know, or just to be by ourselves as a group, quietly sharing our love, our hopes and dreams. We need time to learn about each other in the larger context of our own family and not be constantly in a social setting like we have been ever since we got married. Right now, that has become the easiest part of the problem to fix, thanks to Mom and Dad.

"We're going to have more time here at the farm now. What we have to do, and we may not sort it all out today, is figure out some way so we can best utilize this new time here so we can have the quality time we need as couples within our threesome. You especially need some of that special time with me, and I need it with you. Carol Anne was of the opinion today that one of the reasons you didn't come out to the barn with us was because you thought she and I should be alone for awhile. Is that right?"

Riekie eyes were brimming as she answered me. He words became a torrent.

"Y-yes. I don't know why I got thinking about it, but I was actually remembering how happy you guys always were after your walks. Sometimes you'd come back with some big decision made and be full of resolve. The night we all got married, was one of those walks. David, you were so strong that night! I haven't seen you like that since we left the cottage. Lately I sensed a tension that I don't think you guys were even aware of. Maybe it's because I still think of myself as the junior member, I don't know, but I remembered how good those private times were for the two of you. I missed seeing you guys that happy, and I thought you missed it too, that that was the source of the tension I sensed, so today when I could beg off going with you without it looking odd, I did. Remember when I told you if I even got a tenth of what you guys have from this relationship, I'd be the happiest girl in the world? Seeing you two happy is good enough for me. And I was right about today. You two went off alone, and sure enough, you came back happy and resolute. I knew as soon as you walked in the door some big thing had happened again, and all because you had some private time together. I think you guys are magic when you do that.