Chapter 106

Still, at the risk of chasing my own tail so close I got my head firmly stuck up my own ass like some paranoid teenager angsting ( I know, probably not a real word, but it expresses my thought so elegantly... ) in circles over love and life, I pursued this line of thought further. I thought something was trying to do one or all of several things — tell me something; prepare me for something; or show me something. Whatever it was, I had to resolve it to my complete satisfaction once and for all. And ... there was another niggling question I had to lay to rest — I had grudgingly recognized and admitted what I had felt for Kit all those years ago, but even now, and after much soul-searching and discussion with Carol and Riekie, for some reason I still felt guilty about it. Maybe this was the Power or the Goddess telling me to forget that guilt, to fully and openly accept that I had indeed loved Kit, and to not be so reticent with my memories of her, which were, with the exception of her death and funeral, all pleasant, happy ones.

So ... yet again here I go round the mulberry bush ad infinitum in search of my own behind — I had always described Carol Anne as the other half of my soul — she made me complete. With the other two, at some point I had realized that I also felt the same depth of emotion for them. How was it though, that I did feel the same toward Riekie, and my little elf, Diane as I had always felt for Carol? Once before, in a profound moment of clarity (after another mind-blowing blowjob — any connection? Hmmm ... maybe Carlos Castenada should have been exploring the mind-altering effects of oral sex rather than the potentially damaging ones of peyote... ) I had realized that my soul was probably infinite. Half of infinity was still infinity, therefore I could feel the same infinite love for two women, and I was not complete without either. That particular epiphany had allowed me to develop my original relationship with Carol and Riekie without any pangs of conscience. The fly in that ointment was my overly strict interpretation of how important we were to each other, and that, perforce, was partially responsible for the big breakup.

This past September, in a momentary flash of insight, I realized a corollary to that epiphany, which allowed my infinite soul to love three, and possibly even more people equally. This had permitted me — us — to bind with Diane in our current relationship — a relationship that seemed incredibly strong, vibrant, and healthy, even to an inverse optimist like me. Tonight, again in startling clarity, I knew that what I sensed in September was indeed TRUE — I could have as many True Loves at once or over the course of a lifetime as circumstance allowed. Currently I loved four, counting lost Kit. Nothing — except opportunity — kept me from loving more. It followed naturally that of necessity the same applied equally to all my lovers. Also, it was time and past to admit fully and openly, without guilt of any kind, my love for Kit, and fully revere her memory, allowing her to rest in peace.

I also realized that it was quite possible, even probable, that any one of us — me — or one of the wives — or possibly all or some combination of us — might someday meet another woman, and bind her to us. Allow me my chauvinism and very male prejudice against other males in the relationship — I am not the least bit bi, and I have absolutely zero interest in sharing my females with another male, à-la the alpha male of a wolf pack. The wolf pack analogy comes to mind because of My Girls' penchant for howling when they have been successfully bred. We did not have to deliberately seek out another mate like we felt I had to for Diane, but it was possible and maybe even probable, that in our travels, we could very likely meet another soulmate. I say 'we' because the bonds that tied the four of us together meant that if any one of us met another soulmate, then she would be that to all of us. Life could get even more complicated at some point in the future — complicated, yes, but also VERY interesting. Consequently, I think once again I had a rather happy and enigmatic smile plastered on my gob as I regained consciousness.

As I have noted previously, such moments of cosmic insight are rare, and leave the person who experiences them subtly changed. Someone sensitive to that person can sense the change. My Girls sensed the subtle difference in me — and of course my enigmatic smile didn't twig them at all, did it? Yeah, right ... They exchanged glances then Diane asked if I was OK.

"Yes, My Little Muffin Elf, I'm fine. I'm more than fine. Why?"

"You seem a little different — not in a bad way, just different, like you love us even more than before. How can I sense something like that?"

Riekie piped up before I could answer Diane. "Yeah! I noticed it too. David, did you have another Cosmic Moment when you fainted?"

"Yes, Princess, I think so. When I came to, I saw all of you looking at me. As I regained my wits, I once again found myself pondering how it could be that all of you own my soul equally. I've told each of you at one time or another — and meant it — that you are the other half of my soul, that you make me complete.

"So how can this be? At the risk of becoming an insufferable bore by repeating myself once every twenty years or so, a soul can't have four halves — one for each of you, and one for me. In another of those startling moments of clarity, I realized that my soul really is infinite. Half of infinity is still infinity, therefore, I can feel the same infinite depth of love for each of you, and I am not complete without any.

"It's that cosmic realization that you sense in me, Muffin. Baby, twice now you've hit me like a thunderclap. Princess, you loved me quietly until I noticed and realized I loved you too. Muffin, you loved me beyond hope and pain from the day we met. The aunts tell me Kit felt the same way and now I openly admit my love for her. I think that if any of the four of you had opened the door that first day, that person and I would have had the same experience as Carol Anne and I, and then Carol Anne would have come to me later, as each of you others did.

I realize that Muffin was only nine at the time, but I'm sure it would still have happened, and that puts what's happening with the boys and the kids in a whole 'nother and more understandable perspective! That is how closely all of us, including poor lost Kit, are entwined. Am I making any sense?"

Riekie kissed me tenderly before she spoke. "That, David, My One True Love, is exactly how I feel. As I've told you several times already, I was attracted to you since I first met you, but you were my sister's boyfriend. It wasn't until you talked to me about friendship that I realized that I truly loved you. You did hit me like a thunderclap — I just didn't recognize it. Yes, you make perfect sense, and I know that if it had been me that day, it would almost certainly have been the same. You don't know how often I wish it had been me."

Carol was silent for a moment then whispered tenderly. "Again you describe it perfectly — I love you all so much my heart feels it could burst with happiness! But ... I thought you had sorted this out long ago. What's different now?"

Diane kept her peace, listening to the rest of us kick this can around again. I marshaled my thoughts and tried to explain. "I love ALL of you the same, Baby. I love you so hard sometimes it almost hurts. I think my experience this time was to help me deal with the issue of Kit — and to finally convince me that we can all love as many people as our soulmates as circumstances permit. Despite my apparent openness, I've always felt a little guilty about my feelings toward Kit. Last fall, I thought I had laid that guilt to rest when I was able to decorate her grave and say goodbye with a kiss.

I realized I hadn't when I found it difficult to describe what I felt for her to you, Muffin, even though you accepted my feelings for her without question. As a matter of fact, you had more difficulty accepting she was your sister than as a potential lover and wife. Regardless, I think it's important for me to come to grips with it for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that here, at the cottage, I am going to be constantly reminded of her, and we will all want to talk openly of her, especially to Paul."

Diane finally spoke. "So, do you still feel guilty about Kit? You know we have never felt threatened by her or her memory. What we feel — yes, even me — is more akin to what you do — the pain of a lost love and a missed opportunity. In short, I just wish I had met my sister, and we all wish she had lived to be one of us."

"Yeah, the guilt is finally all gone, and I can feel happy when we recall memories of her. As you said so well, Muffin, what I feel now is the pain of a missed opportunity, and of course that of a lost love."

Carol yawned hugely and nuzzled into my neck. "Can we finish this another time? We're exhausted, it's been a long day, and someone will still hafta get up with the babes a little later. Let's shut it down for the night, OK?"

I grinned and tried to follow up on the opening Carol gave me. "OK, let's get some shuteye, but here's something for you all to sleep on — those possibilities you mention mean the way is now open for us to find more soulmates and therefore, wives. If the opportunity ever appears, and if I read it correctly this time, any one of the four of us, or any combination of the four of us, could find them. Sleep on that one, My Loves, and maybe we'll talk of it again sometime. There is no rush on this, but I thought it was something you should know..."

You could have bought me for a nickel and got change back when Carol smiled sweetly and said, "Oh, we already figured that out a long time ago. What took you so long? We always keep our eyes open for potential new mates. You're right, it's something we need to talk about sometime, but there's no great rush. As a matter of fact, now that we ALL know of the potential, we'll probably never have to talk about it again unless or until we meet someone who has that effect on us. I've often thought it might have happened with Karen Michelle if Robert hadn't met her first. Now let me go to sleep! Benji and Katie don't care how much sleep we've had when they wake up!"

I picked my chin off the mattress, we said our good nights, cuddled close, and quietly drifted into sleep. As I snuggled into the arms of Morpheus, I whispered, "Thank you Lady for everything. Goodnight, Kit, My Love. May the Goddess protect and guide your spirit." I swear I felt a ghostly kiss on my forehead. I thought I heard similar murmurings from either side.

My dreams that night were extremely pleasant, and featured an extremely beautiful woman of indeterminate age. I didn't recognize her, but I knew her. Strangely, in my dream state, this conundrum didn't bother me in the least.

We all slept well our first night in the cottage, and despite Carol's fears they'd wake, the twins slept right through until well past daylight. Like the good parents we were <so I brags a bit ... So what???>, when they woke, we heard them on the baby monitor. Hearing their happy cooing, we all woke instantly and rose cheerfully to face a new day. And ... no, there wasn't the usual morning grumbling or whining about staying snuggled in a cozy bed — this day, we were indeed glad to greet the new day. Sleeping in to the last possible moment is for work days. Vacations are meant to be enjoyed to the fullest — why waste precious time lying about in bed, when you could be doing it on a blanket on the beach, in a hammock, or in our case, in the hay of our special hideaway...

Carol and Diane checked on the babes while Riekie and I hit the bathroom and shower. Riekie and I had a wonderful, intimate shower, complete with some rather exhilarating and noisy oral sex ... As we left the bathroom to dress, the other two were just finishing with the twins. We stuck our heads in the door of the kids' room to get them up, but their bed was empty and they were gone, evidently having arisen well before us. I guess I'm not the only one who thinks sleeping in on vacation is a waste of time.

Once Carol and Diane had their own noisily exuberant shower and dressed, we all headed downstairs, Riekie and me each with a baby in our arms. Prepared to make breakfast as usual, it was a very pleasant surprise to discover Pie and Jo busily cooking up a huge breakfast for all of us with four chattering little girls actively assisting.

Joe and Paul, sitting at the big table drinking coffee from huge mugs, greeted us warmly as we trooped in. My senses almost overpowered by the heavenly aroma of fresh-brewed coffee, I thought I might be able to rekindle my caffeine habit, at least while I had two other men to share it with, and sure enough, after I deposited my armload of infant in its daybed and returned to the kitchen, I was extremely pleased when a beaming First Wife handed me one of those huge mugs filled with steaming, aromatic coffee. As I settled into my chair at the table, I thought it couldn't get much better than this! Note — I may have given up coffee in support of the girls withdrawing caffeine from their diet because of the babies within, but that doesn't mean I sacrificed my habit gladly...

Soon the aunts called us all to breakfast and like supper the night before, served it buffet-style. We filled our plates and found a place to sit wherever we could, but the ladies seemed to have conspired together, and we three men ended up at the main table with overflowing plates of food and our huge coffee mugs.

Just as we finished breakfast and we guys were relaxing with our last coffee before starting our day, the phone rang. Joe was closest and answered it on the third ring. Besides Mom and Dad, the boys and Joanne, nobody else knew where we were, so we figured it was probably for Joe anyway. Whoever it was, Joe was obviously glad to hear from them, and although short, his conversation was animated and happy.

When he hung up, Joe could hardly contain his grin. "That was Janet. She says she will definitely be here this weekend. Her boss wanted her to work, but she told him she had more important things to do, like bring her nieces out to see their Papa Joe and meet the wonderful people who bought the house. She said she'll be here by noon if the kids are ready when she goes to pick them up. She had actually wanted to come up last evening with my son and his wife so all of them could meet you, but my daughter-in-law said no, and only the kids could come, but not before today. She didn't give any reasons, either. Janet's more than just a little annoyed with her. Anyway, Janet and the kids will be here soon."

With the impending arrival of Janet and Joe's grandchildren, my wives and I put our plans to go out to the old barn on hold. We thought it would be rude for us to be away when our guests arrived. Besides, we had a minimum of two weeks to reacquaint ourselves with the old neighbourhood. No matter how tempting it might be to rush, there was something to be said for taking a more leisurely approach and savouring everything slowly and deliberately, like a fine wine or a gourmet meal or —— love ——.

It was a very warm day and according to the radio, it appeared we might be heading into a heat wave. Accordingly, once the breakfast cleanup was complete, we all changed into swimming suits, slathered on the sunscreen and headed for the beach. Soon we were all trooping toward the lake carrying babies, a diaper bag, and a rather large bag of new beach toys — uh — that is, the men carried, the women promenaded ... The kids squealed in delight as they scampered ahead of us and splashed noisily into the cool water.

I was delighted to see even the aunts in rather brief swimming costumes. Pie looked so hot in her clingy, colourful one-piece, it was almost impossible to tell she was a woman in her sixties and I thought she could almost have graced the cover of Sports Illustrated. Jo appeared a little embarrassed to be seen in brief swimwear and so obviously pregnant, but the lavish attention paid her by Pie, Paul, and even Joe soon relaxed her and she began to enjoy herself with the rest of us.

My Girls had no such qualms, and gleefully showed off their bodies in the briefest of suits imaginable. Diane and Riekie seemed to take particular delight in the fact their swollen breasts and bellies were on prominent display, and I felt they just might have been even happier to be completely nude, regardless of the public location.

I had already seen Carol in a bikini the day before, but I don't think any of us were prepared for the 'Wicked Weasel'-style creation she sported today! Only one word described my First Love and First Wife when she removed her cover-up, to reveal the stunning woman underneath —— WOW!! I noticed all the females present including the aunts actually lick their lips, while the guys tried to hide their — ahem — obvious pleasure at the view. I'm sure my own stunned and appreciative reaction was rather obvious, too...

We were the first people to arrive at the beach for the day, but soon the water was filled with laughing, squealing kids from most of the neighbouring cottages. As well as the women of my own household, there was a plethora of nubile young nymphets parading around in rather revealing bikinis. And ... although they were definitely attractive and very easy on the eye-holes, those young bodies still didn't compare to those of My Loves, and from the look in his eye, I saw that Paul felt the same about his own ladies. As I observed him, he would openly glance at the young stuff so wantonly displaying itself, then almost as if he was drawn by a magnet, his head would turn and he would very obviously stare for long minutes in open admiration of his lovely wives. He told me later that he had watched me behave similarly.

Joe appeared to be something of a favourite with all the kids on the beach, and was soon occupied in a sand-castle building enterprise with all the twelve-and-unders. With all the help they were able to muster, their creation soon became large and very ornate, featuring a sand-covered Joe as the centrepiece of their masterpiece. Even some of the younger of those nubile young things forgot about their nascent sexual displays and giggling like the kids they really were, joined in the construction fun.

Mid-morning, Pie and Carol had a brief whispered conference then excused themselves from the beach for awhile. When they returned, they came bearing a large picnic jug of lemonade with enough plastic cups for all, and a small picnic cooler full of 'Mr. Freezies' for all the kids. Their thoughtfulness in providing cold drinks and treats to slake the thirst of the construction crew and those of us simply dehydrating from all the effort we expended lying in the hot sun was loudly proclaimed by all.

About eleven, Joe started to fidget, and when I asked him what was wrong, he laughed, "It may seem strange to you, but I have always been able to sense when some of my family was nearby. Seeing as Jane is no longer with us, and I know my son isn't coming, that leaves Janet and the girls. I better get up and meet them, but I hate to wreck the kids' sandcastle to do it."

Rhiannon overheard us. "Papa Joe!" she scolded. "We can always build another one. You go meet our new cousins then bring them down here so they can play with us and our new friends!"

Joe and I exchanged glances and grinned. My Wives had informed Joe that he was officially part of the family and now it seemed his family, by extension, was also considered part of ours, or with typical child logic at least his grandkids were considered so by our kids ... Joe didn't need ant further admonishment, and accompanied by the appropriate sound-effects of several kids, Joe rose slowly from the sand, gradually destroying the sand works like Godzilla rising from Tokyo Bay. When he gained his feet, to the delight of the kids, Joe even flailed his arms around, roared like a giant beast, and stomped off into the mist looking for another city to destroy...