Chapter 15

As busy and eventful as Tuesday had already been, it was not quite over. As had been his habit, Bert waited until Lisa had a chance to get in bed before coming into his suite Tuesday night. This time, she was sitting on the bed in her tee, looking downcast. He sat beside her and just waited for her to say something.

"Why are you letting me stay here, Bert? Why are you letting me sleep with ... uh, sleep in your bed?"

"You scared me when you talked about killing yourself, Lisa. Molly and her friend Curt are working very hard to help kids who feel like you do. I want to help, too. I think you're a really great person, and I would hate to see anything happen to you. I, uh, didn't think it would be good for you to go home."

"It seems like maybe you and Maidchen and Cassie are trying to get me to do things that I could never do in the Program," she complained.

Bert had to think carefully about what to say next. "I don't know about Maidchen and Cassie, but here's what I think. I think you need to see if there is any way you could survive the damned Program."

"Oh, no! I just know I couldn't!"

"Wait, Lisa. Let me explain. I know Molly has a place where you can go to get away from it. They have school and everything. But can you imagine how that would disrupt your life?"

"It's not like my life is so great, you know."

"Think about everything you do - everything you're involved in. Then think about having to start fresh in a whole new place." He didn't say any more right then, and Lisa was quiet for a long time.

"I guess I see what you mean," she said in a barely audible voice. "But I just couldn't go naked! I know I couldn't! And the touching!"

"Lisa, don't get mad at me here. Just think about this. Why couldn't you stand in front of me, take off all of your clothes, and let me look at you naked?"

"Oh, I just couldn't! How many times do I have to say that?" She seemed close to tears.

"I know, I know. I've heard you say it, and I believe you couldn't. I'm trying to find out exactly what makes it impossible for you. What are you afraid will happen? What are you afraid you will feel?"

She just sniffled for a while, making no response. He was not sure why that was, but he knew that he was not going to get an answer right then. "Hey, how about we get in bed, then talk some more, OK?"

"You didn't answer me before," she complained.

"Huh?"

"When I asked why you let me sleep in your bed. I know that Penny is the one you really like. I feel guilty, like I'm coming between you two."

It seemed like everything that he and Lisa talked about led to a touchy subject of some sort. What should he say about Penny? Maybe it had something to do with his total exposure, but the truth seemed to be the best idea. "Yes, Lisa. I do like Penny. But that doesn't mean I can't like you and want to protect you."

"You'd like to have her right here in bed, wouldn't you?" she demanded.

After another pause, he decided to continue with the truth. "Yes. Yes I would like to have her here in bed. You know what happened this morning. Dating is strange and frustrating for me, Lisa. I have to be so careful with girls. Because of our money, people will try all kinds of charges and scams to get some of it. Because of that, I've hardly dated."

"Do your parents tell you not to?"

"No. In fact they're sometimes puzzled that I don't date more. It's just something that Molly and I have talked about and decided."

"Does that mean you were still ... um ... I mean that you hadn't... ?"

"That's, uh, not something I talk about, Lisa. Oh, hell, why not? I trust you. I was not a virgin this morning, OK? I won't tell you who, and I hope you don't spread it around." It had been over a year earlier with one of his second or third cousins. She was as frustrated as he was by the dating problems their money caused. In fact, she was someone he liked enough to consider dating, if only...

"I know you couldn't like me that way, the way I look," she said softly. "I understand. Penny is so ... God! I still don't understand why you're letting me sleep here."

"I don't think you should be alone. Sleeping with someone shows that you care about them, and I care about you, Lisa." She said no more, but she did get under the sheet.

When they were both in bed with the light out, he took her hand and they just lay silently for a matter of minutes. He could only wait so long. "Would it hurt you physically if I saw your naked breasts? Your tummy? Your bottom? Your pussy hair?"

She gasped, but admitted "No, of course not. It wouldn't hurt physically."

"OK, we've eliminated that as a reason. Would you be so embarrassed you couldn't do anything?"

"Well, yeah," she said. "I look awful. Of course I'd be embarrassed."

"So your embarrassment about how you look would be enough to make you want to move clear across the state to live in a dorm with other kids?"

"Ohhhhh," she breathed out. "The way you say it, maybe the running away would be almost as bad. Almost. Say, Bert, you've never said one thing about my weight. Nobody here has. How come? You can't think all of this fat is attractive."

Minefield! "No, it's not. But a lot of other things about you are attractive." He could sense her about to ask what things, but she held back. "You're used to people trying to help you or force you to lose weight, aren't you?"

"Uh, huh? It's like that's all Mom ever talks to me about."

"Cassie and Penny don't, do they?"

"No. Well, once in a while, but only when I bring it up."

"Friends accept people the way they are. We're your friends here," he assured her.

"She's my mom, but not really my friend, then." Oops! How did he stumble into that one. Time to change the subject.

"I'm still curious, Lisa. What is so terrifying about being seen naked that you would cut your wrists and bleed to death." He had made it sound brutal on purpose, and he got the desired effect as she gasped and shuddered.

It took a while longer, but in a very small voice, she said "Once you saw me, you wouldn't have anything to do with me."

"You think I'd reject you?" he asked. She didn't reply, but he could sense more than see her nodding her head. "Maidchen and Erma and Gretchen didn't reject you, did they?"

"But they're women."

"Ah." He made himself think carefully before he said anything more.

"Let me guess. Your mother keeps telling you that if you don't lose your fat, no man will ever want you, right?"

"And she'll be stuck with me for the rest of her life," Lisa added before breaking into tears.

For all of the negatives he could attribute to his father, and his mother for that matter, his parents looked positively saintly after that anguished revelation from the distraught girl.

It was time to change the subject again, so he started a little monologue. "You know, Lisa, Molly's doing a wonderful thing helping kids escape. But how many can they take at that place?

"I've thought about it a lot, and I want to take a different approach. I want to help kids to survive the damned Program.

"Survive how?"

"Well, I'm still doing a lot thinking and talking to people about that. I'd like to find a way to keep kids from touching those who don't want to be touched."

"How can you do that? I thought it was Program rules. The touching, I mean," Lisa said.

"I know. I'm working on one idea. Another thing is encouraging kids to sort of, uh, practice."

"Like you're doing, you mean?"

"That's what got me thinking about it. Let's face it. The damned Program is here. I wish it wasn't, but I'm not sure that Molly or Curt or that Jason or anybody else can shut it down. Why should every kid have to be so shocked or traumatized when they're put in just because it's their first time naked in front of their friends?"

"Yeah, but if everyone practices being naked," Lisa objected, "isn't that doing just what the Program wants?"

"In a way, I guess. You know, nudity is a pretty natural part of our culture now. I'm not sure it will ever go back to what it used to be. You could say the damned Program is right in treating nudity as no big deal.

"But think about how they start you in the damned Program," he said, sensing her shuddering again. "It's designed to humiliate you, to make you feel insignificant, to let you know that you are not in control. It's not at all like you deciding to skinny dip in our pool. Or go to the beach and not wear a swimsuit."

"I could never, ever do that!" she protested.

"I know. I know. I was trying to explain the difference. If you did decide to do those things - please, just pretend with me - if you did decide, you wouldn't be humiliated, would you?"

"Sure I would! I'd still be just as fat." she said angrily.

"If you were afraid of being humiliated, why would you skinny dip or go without a suit at the beach?" he prodded.

"I would never! I've told you!"

"Now pretend again, OK," he told her. "If you wanted to, would there be anything wrong with you going naked?"

"I ... I guess not. It seems like everyone does it," she admitted.

"That means that there's nothing wrong with the damned Program just because you end up naked. It's a matter of choice and control and intentional humiliation. I'll go naked if I have to, but I don't want to be humiliated. That's why I'm practicing. I'm waving my ... oh, sorry, Lisa ... I'm..."

"That's OK. I like the way your 'dick' waves around." Her giggle after the pretty heavy emotion was refreshing to hear.

"Anyway, I'm doing that so I can feel like I have a little control of the situation next week. I don't think it will keep me from getting hard, but I won't be as embarrassed and terrified as if it took me by surprise and I was unprepared."

"Why should you be embarrassed with a body like yours?"

"Um, thanks, Lisa. You've got to understand that a guy's, uh, penis is about as personal and private a thing as there is. When it gets hard, it's even more personal. And when it does, that's where all the blood goes, so we're not thinking as well as we might, either."

"Well, a girl's boobs and her ... her pussy are pretty personal, too."

"I'm sure they are. Most pussies are hidden by hair, though. Unless the girl wants hers seen. This is not something we should argue about, Lisa. I was just trying to explain why I've been practicing and why it might help other kids, too."

"I don't know, Bert. It seems like giving in."

"I disagree. I think the damned Program wants you to be shocked and embarrassed when you have to strip. I think humiliation is intended to be part of the whole thing. Why all the public dressing and undressing? Why make kids be like lab animals for biology and health class? You've read about it, I'm sure. With some practice, maybe you can take that little victory away from them by not being humiliated."

"Not me. I couldn't practice."

"OK, let's talk about you, Lisa. You're going to be a sophomore, like me. You don't know when you'll have to go naked."

"I'm not going naked. Period."

"Let me finish, OK. This is ... hypothetical."

"I don't care. I don't even like to think about it."

"I'm sorry, Lisa. You can't just ignore it. It's an important fact of your life right now. Anyway, you don't know if your week will be next week or not until two years from Christmas. So, what are your choices?"

"I want to go to that place that Molly's setting up."

"OK. But what if they have to limit that to kids who know they are going to be in right away? If you can get in, are you going to stay for the rest of high school?"

"It would be better than going back home."

"Listen to me, Lisa. Just imagine this without getting upset, will you?" He waited until she gave grudging agreement. "Good. You decide that you're going to stick it out ... Lisa! You said! ... OK. You do some experimenting, some practicing, and you find out that it doesn't kill you or drive you crazy to be seen naked."

"Impossible!"

"Lisa!"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"So, sometime, your name comes up. It's awful, but you've figured out that you can survive. You can beat the bastards. The first day is no touching, so you can decide whether you can do the touching or not. Maybe I'll have found a way to keep anyone from touching you. If you just can't do it, you take off for Molly's refuge that night. If you can, you finish the week and beat them."

"It seems more like they would have beaten me."

"Huh, uh. You walk proudly down the hall with those impressive boobs swaying. You let everybody see that fat that you're so worried about, and you don't give a damn what they think. They've made you do something you didn't want to do, something you didn't think you could do, but they haven't beaten you down. And they haven't turned you into a slut, either. That couldn't happen.

"There's one other thing you may not have thought about, Lisa. Monday, there will probably be a boy or two in the shower with you after gym class. Are you ready to run away so no boy can see you even for that short time? That's a decision you have to make this week."

"Wow! You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

"Hey, it's no small thing staying naked for two weeks."

"It's not a small thing at all." She giggled again, and she had even made a ribald joke. This girl had more guts than she was letting on. "I think you're just saying all this because you want to get me naked." He could hear the fake pout in her voice.

"Of course I do. I'm a guy."

"Pig!" But her actions belied her words. She rolled over, raised herself up, and gave him a sweet, drawn-out kiss. Then she rolled back to her spot, indicating that it was time to sleep. He had one more thing to say, though.

"How are you going to know that I would never reject you, Lisa?"

In D.C., Summer was at her office very early Wednesday morning. She had not slept well because of a persistent uneasy feeling. Her precious Program was in jeopardy, and she felt frustratingly helpless to do anything about it. The Speaker had agreed to a breakfast meeting at the House office building, and Ben would drive her over there in about fifteen minutes.

As soon as they sat at their reserved table, the Speaker spoke first. "Summer, I apologize for Monroe's little speech getting through. Sometimes..."

"I understand," Summer assured her. "It appears that a concerted attack is being mounted against the Program, and I would like to ask for your help."

"Concerted attack? What do you mean?"

"I believe Monroe was tricked into calling for that investigation, and that is just one part of what is happening." Summer went on to recap some of the unusual happenings of the first week of school, particularly the refuge. "Of course, you have heard about the broadcast those two kids did."

"Yes, and your ill-advised arrest attempt," the Speaker answered. "Where does that all stand, by the way?"

"We have given up getting any arrest warrants on the kids," Summer admitted. "Our enforcement people are out on bail - huge bail."

"Will they actually have to stand trial?"

"We're certain that Pritchard is pulling the strings. My guess is they will become a bargaining chip," Summer said.

"Bargaining for what?" the Speaker asked.

"The death of the Program, or at least changes that would ruin its effectiveness," Summer explained.

"What kind of help do you want from me. And why should I help?"

Summer was not offended by the Speaker's blunt challenge. That was her well-known style. At heart, she may have been a liberal ideologue, but she was also a hard-nosed realist when it came to the political process.

"As for the why," Summer said, "Dominoes."

"I think I see where you are going, but explain," the Speaker directed.

"How many programs, important, progressive programs, were instituted and exist the same way as 'Naked in School'?" Summer asked, trying not to sound pedantic.

"How many of the leading edge social programs would ever get direct legislative approval? We both know that the line-item approval and judicial interpretation are the only reasons many of them exist."

"Agreed. So?"

"I want a bill to authorize Naked in School directly, giving our rules and procedures the force of law. That would prevent the whole domino effect from ever getting started."

The Speaker mulled that quietly as she sipped her tea. "If the bill passes, it might prevent the domino effect. If it fails, the door will be wide open. From my position, would it not be safer just to kill Naked in School immediately? That would keep attention away from the other things."

Rather than sleeping during the night, Summer had worried her problem from every angle. She was not surprised by the Speaker's response. For one thing, she knew that the Speaker was playing devil's advocate, having always supported Naked in School quite strongly. Summer also had what she thought was a telling counter-argument. "Yes, that might prevent attention to other similarly-funded programs. But if you kill NiS, will anyone ever be willing to risk starting another one?"

The Speaker took another pause to eat some of her food before asking "Who would you see as point?"

Summer used every bit of restraint she had to keep from even smiling, say nothing of jumping up and doing a dance. She disguised the time it took her to make sure her voice was steady by seeming to ponder the choice of a sponsor, even though she had that all ready. "Monroe."

"I don't know that she has ever pushed a bill," the Speaker cautioned. "Are you sure you want to entrust it to her?"

"First of all, the sponsor is just a helpful name, right?" Summer said. "You pick the person who really does the pushing. I think she's a good figurehead. Her little speech that slipped through pretty much labeled her as a passionate NiS supporter. It doesn't hurt to have a sponsor who can really use the attention."

"Hmmmm. That's good thinking, Summer. Agreed."

"Uh, I hate to even mention this, but I think the threat is immediate. The, uh, usual process might take too long to save us," Summer said.

"You really think it's that serious. Well, I'll have to take your word for it. I don't have time to give it any more attention. Can I assume you have a proposed bill all written up?"

"You know me too well," Summer said with a grin. "Should I send it over to Monroe? I'm about to become her new best friend."

"Go ahead. I'll let her know that she is to be the sponsor, and I'll do everything I can to speed things along. I guess I owe you that."

By the time Summer and the Speaker finished their breakfast meeting, Molly was already well down the road toward home. It was a very strange trip for her.

She was very glad that her family appeared likely to remain intact, contrary to the way she had left it. Just in the brief time at the picnic and in a few phone conversations, she felt a level of openness and acceptance from her mother that had never been there before, and she liked it. Her mother was a very intelligent woman, and Molly liked being with smart people.

Her father was cause for some worry. For years, she had felt little respect for him and no real love. Her parting shots at him had been extreme, and repairing that rift might or might not be possible. If what Bert said about their parents' revitalized sex life was true, she would do her best to build bridges to Win for Eleanor's sake.

There was not a bit of ambivalence about seeing Bert again. Truth be told, she was glad to be returning while her brother was still naked. Everything she had done for the last week seemed to deal with naked teens, and to her mind, Bert was the best example of the male of the species. Of course, there was Curt, but thinking too much about his body was not a good thing for her.

All of the reasons for her returning home had been examined in her mind again and again, and they were legitimate. Many things had changed in the short time since she left. Her leaving their school in protest was the right move at the time, but now the focus of the struggle was shifting. It was moving to the inside, with the kids themselves about to become the combatants. If she was a leader and a hero for those kids, it was right for her to be on the inside with them.

A question nagged at her: if it was right for her to go back, why was Curt not doing the same thing? The best answer that she could come up with was the he had made the more dramatic break, the loudest statement, so to speak. The 'movement', as she was starting to think of it, needed him as an unwavering leader, refusing to give an inch to the Program.

Was she fooling herself that she could do any good from the 'inside'? Had she just rationalized an excuse to leave a situation that was becoming frustrating and uncomfortable? Why did that damned Curt have to be so stone-headed? Different worlds, for God's sake! Why couldn't he just... ?

With the passing miles, her mental discipline seemed to reassert itself more and more. Curt was a short chapter in her life that was over. Chapter? The 'romantic' part hardly amounted to a sentence or two. The hard part was that she and Curt were still co-leaders of the 'Movement' and they would have to interact a great deal. She could handle it, though. If she could get her mind around it, she could always handle it.

Long-distance road travel promoted a lot of thought, particularly since the environmentalists and the nannyists had combined to reinstitute the notorious double-nickel. With her powerful, ultra-safe car loafing along at barely above idle speed, it seemed, something besides driving had to occupy her mind. If she was going back to work from the 'inside', did she have any credibility? What was she going to say to kids who were willing to risk suspension, arrest, and other penalties if she herself was exempted from even having to strip? For the good of the movement, should she have her exemption rescinded?

Bert might not be up yet, but this was important. She had to talk to him. Fortunately, he had left his wireless on and by his bedside, so she reached him. His sleep fog cleared quickly when he found out who was calling. "Molly? Is everything OK? Are you coming home?"

"On the way. I need an opinion." She shared the questions she had been asking herself for the last while.

"You'd do that, wouldn't you? You'd have Mom rescind the exemption to help against the Program, wouldn't you?"

"Um, yeah, I guess I would," she replied, thinking that he was going to encourage her to do just that.

"That would be the wrong thing to do, Molly," he said with assurance.

"Why do you say that?"

"You left school and home to protest being forced to go naked. Your leaving helped start this whole thing. You valued your privacy and you were willing to give up what you did to protect it."

"But I gave it all up for that TV show."

"And believe me, " Bert said, "that got everyone's attention. If you give it up again, it makes what you did on TV seem less. No, Molly, you take the exemption and keep your clothes on. Your modesty means something. Don't give it up."

Molly was almost ready to cry upon hearing that. She thanked Bert and said she would see him later that day. Then she got to wondering what Curt's response would be. Knowing that he was probably chatting with kids until the wee hours, she forced herself to wait until nine before she called him and posed the same question.

"Molly, your modesty, your desire for privacy are, um, the purest reason for being against the Program. Don't give them up."

"But how can I encourage kids to do all of these protest things, even practice being naked, if I'm not willing to do it myself?"