Chapter 8

I had forgotten that Victoria was coming home that night. Her schedule was so erratic that it was often a surprise when she showed up. I never really kept track that close, as I never had anything to hide. Now, when I had something to hide, I forgot. A noise had awakened me, and as I shrugged off sleep I noticed Cindi was still sprawled out next to me, her head on my shoulder, hand on my chest, hair everywhere, with a satisfied little smile on her face. I loved watching my girls sleep - they were so cute. Of course, we were still naked. I looked up to see what woke me and watched Victoria walk into the bedroom. Time froze as my mind tried to grasp what was happening.

Bizarre thoughts flitted through my mind as to how I could get out of this. Disappear? No, this was real life, not fantasy. I could pretend I was asleep, but that would just postpone whatever was going to happen. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I realized that my desire to help my daughter, no matter how misguided, might in the next few minutes cost me everything I held dear in life. It was dark in the room and Victoria was too far away for me to see her eyes, to see if they were the flat and devoid of all expression eyes I had seen twice before. If they were, it would mean that my life would probably end in the next few minutes, literally. There was no outward indication of what she was feeling or thinking, but I just could not see any way it would be good.

Victoria walked into the room. She moved over to the bed and stood there, obviously waiting for me to say something, for me to explain what the HELL was going on before she killed me. Even then, my love and sympathy for Cindi won out over my fear and I just knew I had to protect her. "Victoria, don't blame Cindi for this. I'm the adult here, I'm responsible, and I should have stopped it. It's not her fault. She's a hurt little girl trying to find her way, trying to find love anyway she can. Blame me, not her. Please don't hurt her any more than she already has been by others and me. Although not intentionally, I took advantage of her and I cannot tell you how sorry I am." I said all of this in a whisper, hoping not to wake Cindi and have her face this any sooner than she had to. I could finally see Victoria's eyes, although not well through my tears. They didn t look flat and devoid of all expression; maybe I would live through this yet. She sat on the edge of the bed, bent down& and kissed me! I was stunned! I couldn t think. Her first kiss was just a gentle kiss, too quick for my numbed mind to even respond. Then she kissed me again, and this time her mouth opened and she slipped her tongue past my lips into my mouth. I responded automatically, as my brain struggled to figure out what was going on. After she broke the kiss, she sat up and stared down at me. Her eyes were solemn, yet full of a strange twinkle that seeped out from around the edges. "Surprised you didn't I?" she asked, smiling gently. I could only nod my head. "Look," she said, "I know you well. You would never take advantage of anyone. I doubt very much this was your idea, or that you gave up easily.

I've seen the change in Cindi the last few weeks; I'm not entirely surprised by this. Whatever you are doing with her, it seems to be working. She is getting better, and that's all I care about! If I thought you were just taking advantage of our daughter to get some teenage nookie& we would not be talking right now. Just be careful. Amy must never know about this& and for heaven's sake close the bedroom door! I'll call from now on before I come home." Before I could respond Cindi started to wake up, obviously awakened by our voices. When she opened her eyes, she was looking at me, unaware that someone else was in the room. She smiled brightly, then noticed the direction I was looking, turned her head, and saw her mother sitting on the bed. The look of fear on her face broke my heart. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Mommy! Mommy, I'm so sorry.

It was my fault, all my fault! Please don't hate Daddy, I made him do it, he tried to stop me, but I tricked him while he was asleep, please Mommy, don't hate him, he loves you so much, I'll go away and live somewhere else, please don't leave him ... Pleeaasee Mommy!" she begged in her little girl voice and started crying. Victoria tried hard to look stern and mad for a minute - she is Amy's mother, after all and cannot resist teasing people - but she quickly stopped when she realized how upset Cindi was. She reached out and took Cindi into her arms, holding her and kissing her. "It's alright, honey, I know. I understand. I'm not mad ... well, I might be a little if you've worn him out!" Cindi's eyes were as big as saucers as she tried to grasp what she was being told. "You know you can't let anyone know about this. Not even Amy. Especially not Amy. If any one finds out, your dad would go to jail and they would take you two away. You have to be very careful." Uh oh. Cindi had been practicing Amy's eye rolls. She was not as good at it as Amy was, but this one was not too bad. "I know, Mom. I'm not stupid, you know. I won't tell anyone." Then I could see it in her eyes. Victoria could too; we both smiled a little as Cindi decided that maybe she shouldn't be so snippy with her Mom considering the current circumstances. "So, you're really not mad at me?" "Well, I'm a little upset about this and there is one thing we need to resolve right now, young lady." I could see the look in Victoria's eyes, so I knew this was going to be good - she was playing with Cindi. You are so bad, Victoria, I thought. The fear was back in Cindi's eyes. "Oh, God, Mom, anything. I promise I'll do anything to make it better, please tell me what I can do!" "Well, it's my turn and you are in the way. Move over, please!" I could see the wheels turning in Cindi's head as she tried to understand what her Mom was saying.