Chapter 26

Thursday after work, everyone was home for dinner except Amy. Megan said she told her she had something to do after school, so she had come over alone. After Samantha picked Megan up, I began to wonder what was going on. Finally, about 7:30, I called Amy on her cell phone. She said she was on her way home and would be there in a few minutes. A short time later, she came in. She said hi, kissed me on the cheek, and headed for her room.

"Hold on, Amy. Where have you been? Megan just said you had something to do after school. Anything wrong?" She looked distracted. And embarrassed. And nervous. All non-Amy qualities.

"Oh, I just had to stay after school for a while. I messed up a test and had to talk to the teacher, go over the material, and she let me take the test again. No big deal. Sorry." She spit all this out in a hurry, and then headed for her room again. I let her go, but I was worried.

I was worried because I knew Amy well enough to know she had just lied to me for the first time in her life. I'm not sure how I knew that, but I was positive of it. I hoped she had not gotten into trouble. Knowing my previous habit of unsuccessfully letting things solve themselves, I resolved that I would let it go until tomorrow evening, and then I would talk to her about it. As it turned out, Katie unintentionally made sure I kept that promise.

Breakfast the next morning was a somewhat tense affair. Usually, everyone was happy when Victoria was in town. But, strange as it might seem, there seemed to be something brewing between Amy and Katie. Amy looked sad and upset, worried about something, and, yes, even guilty. Katie looked mad and upset, seemingly at Amy. The two hardly spoke to each other all breakfast. Katie, in fact, didn't even seem to acknowledge Amy's existence. Victoria looked at me questioningly; I just shrugged my shoulders. Don't ask me to explain teenagers, especially female ones.

I got home early from work Friday and things seemed even worse. Amy and Megan were silent as they came into the house. One constant in the universe is Amy talking. Katie and Becky came in a little later, and Katie ignored Amy completely. Becky looked very uncomfortable with the whole situation and looked at me with big sad eyes. Megan looked just as uncomfortable. It seemed they were being caught in the middle of something. Amy went to her room, and Katie went to hers. Megan and Becky stayed out in the living room, reading and watching TV. That in itself was unusual. Megan and Becky got along fine, but they didn't often spend time alone together. Megan just naturally gravitated towards Amy and the same with Becky to Katie. Katie and Amy spent a lot of time together also, due to their mental connection, but when that happened, usually Megan and / or Becky spent time with me. This was weird altogether. I decided I would not ruin dinner by interfering, but after dinner, I was going to find out what was going on.

Dinner was a painful affair. Conversation was almost non-existent. Amy looked so unhappy she was ready to cry. Katie looked mad and disgusted. Megan and Becky just looked at me with pleading eyes, begging me to do something.

Before I could get them together after dinner, Katie came in and said she was going shopping with Rebecca. Becky was tagging along uncertainly. Megan seemed torn, but made it clear she was not going.

"Is Amy going with you?" I asked. Katie gave me a look.

"Not likely! I'll be back in a while," she stated.

"Katie, wait. What's going on?" I wanted to get this settled.

"Can we talk when I get back? Rebecca is waiting. Thanks." She breezed out the door without waiting for my answer. Becky cringed and followed her out.

Megan got up off the couch, kissed me on the cheek, and headed for the front door. I asked her where she was going.

"Outside on the porch. Amy is going to come to talk to you in a few minutes. I think it would be better if I were not here. She loves you, Daddy. Remember that." She smiled sweetly, but sadly at me and left. I sighed. Everyone was leaving me. I had a feeling I really didn't want to talk to Amy.

Amy came in about five minutes later. She looked terrible, like she had been crying. She stood in front of me, looking so pitiful, lonely, sad and guilty that I couldn't help but hold my arms out to her. She crawled into my lap and put her arms around me, snuggling into my chest. I knew from experience that Amy would start talking when she was ready. It would be before she got off my lap, however; I was determined about that. Then I noticed she was trembling and shaking. I pulled her head up and saw that she was crying. When I looked at her, she started sobbing, big heartrending sobs, and buried her face in my chest again. I held her and sighed inside. For someone who never cried, she sure was making up for that the last few months. I hoped this wasn't serious. She had suffered enough.

When she seemed cried out, I gently pulled her head up to look her in the eyes. The anguish in her eyes was unmistakable. This girl was hurting. This was what Daddies were made for, to fix it. I looked at her questioningly. She looked down at the floor. Amy was ashamed! What was going on?

"Tell me about it, Amy. It can't be that bad." I kissed her nose, getting a tiny smile. She spoke so softly I could barely hear her.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy. I have hurt you so much, and betrayed you, and you are going to hate me now. Katie already hates me. I've screwed up so badly, Daddy, there just isn't any way out of this one. Things will never be the same again. I'm so sorry! I just want to die!" She sobbed. Now I was worried.

"Tell me what you've done, sweetie. We can work it out. This is what I'm here for." I tried to reassure her. She was so smart and so good about working things out. What could be so serious that my little genius couldn't find a way out?

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to... I wondered what it would be like... I was just curious... I never meant to... Oh, God, Daddy, please don't hate me!" She sobbed again. I was confused.

"Amy, honey, you are not making any sense. Start over and just tell me what you did. I promise I won't hate you. Just tell me, honey." I kissed her and she kissed me back for a minute, and then pulled away.

"Daddy..." she seemed to gather her strength, like the condemned before the firing squad. "I... had sex with someone else." She spoke so quietly I wasn't even sure I heard her right, and then she dived back into my chest and started sobbing again.

I was so glad she hid her face, because she didn't see the brief look of pain that raced across my face. I couldn't help it. I knew this day was coming, but I thought I would have some warning, and not this early. Then I thought what an idiot I was. If she was old enough for me, why not someone else. I didn't even have the right to be upset in that way. I quickly shoved those thoughts aside, and held her close and tight until she stopped crying again. I pulled her head up again to look at her. She started talking again before I could.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy. I love you so much! I can't believe I did this to you. I can go live with Rebecca if you hate me and don't want me around anymore. I understand; I can't stand to be around me either, and even Katie doesn't want me around." I couldn't help it; I laughed. She looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Is that all this is about? Amy, I could never hate you. Why on earth would I want you to leave and live somewhere else? I couldn't, wouldn't want to live without you. Now, tell me what happened. What is this all about? And why is Katie mad at you?"

"Well, I got to know this guy Bill at school. He's a little older. He's really nice and he really likes me. I like him too, but not that way. But I got to wondering... what sex would be like with someone my own age." I tried to stop it, but I knew she felt me recoil as if I was slapped. She seemed confused by my reaction, and then looked at me with horror. "Oh, no Daddy, I didn't mean it that way. I meant the opposite. It feels so good with you that I wanted to know if it was just you or if it would feel that good with someone else, like Bill. I know; it was stupid. Of course, it was just you. But I had to find that out the hard way, and now I've lost you too because I'm stupid." She sobbed again. "I told Bill I just wanted to try it and it would just be sex among friends and would only happen once. I didn't lead him on." She stopped.

"So... how was it?" I was curious. Besides, the only way I could get her to realize this was nothing big was to treat it as nothing big. Amy looked at me as if she couldn't believe I asked that.

"It was... ok. Not at all like with you. Not even close. Halfway through I wished I had never even started. Poor Bill. He really tried, but I am just not in love with him, like I am with you. I found out that's important to me to make it work right. But now I've ruined that!" she wailed. "And Bill probably hates me now too and I've lost a friend too." Ok, it was time to put an end to this and find out what the real problem was, because this wasn't it.

"Amy. I have never, and will never have exclusive rights to you. You are always free to be with someone else. Someday, it will be exclusively with someone else. But it should be with someone you love. You were curious; I understand. Sweetheart, I haven't been exclusive to you either. But don't let the curiosity get out of hand. I love you, Amy, I always will, and I don't think of you any less for this. If it was a mistake, that is what being a teenager is all about. Learning through mistakes. Now, suppose you tell me what Katie has to do with all this and why you are so upset about something that you are smart enough to know is no big deal." She looked at me in surprise, and then looked down again. "Hey. You had to get your genius somewhere. I'm not stupid, you know." I smiled and tweaked her nose. Finally, a smile. Then she looked really sad.

"Katie found out about it. She is really mad at me for betraying you and being unfaithful to you. Daddy... she pulled herself out of my mind!" she wailed. "Oh, God, Daddy, I am so miserable. I just want to die! I don't want to be like that again. I couldn't stand it!" She started sobbing again.

"She WHAT?!?" I yelled. Amy recoiled in fear. "You mean you can't feel her anymore?" She shook her head no.

"She blocked me or walled me off or something. I can't feel her. She's gone. Oh God, Daddy, what am I going to do? I can't live like this!"

"VICTORIA!" I yelled. "Come here, please! I need you right now!" I hugged Amy close. "You stay right here with your Mom, honey, I will be right back." Victoria came running into the room. I don't think she had ever heard me yell like that before. I met her before she got to Amy.

"Victoria, honey, I need you to stay with Amy. I have to go find Katie. Do not let her out of your sight for anything. If she goes to the bathroom, go with her. And, honey, I know you still have some issues with the drugs. She may be suicidal. Don't let her get you going too. Don't feed on each other. Be careful; I will be back shortly." Victoria looked scared.

"What's going on with her and Katie?" She asked fearfully. She remembered the dark days before Katie.

"Katie withdrew from her mind. I'm not sure why. Amy has some issues you probably need to talk to her about too, about sex."

"What are you going to do with Katie?" Victoria asked nervously.

"I am going to spank the little b..." Victoria shut me up by kissing me. She didn't stop until she felt me relax a little.

"Calm down, honey. You love her. Teenagers make mistakes; that's what they are really good at. Ours have not made many. Are you going to lose it with the first one? Calm down." She smiled sweetly at me. What would I do without her?

"Thank you. Take Amy into the bedroom. Talk to her. Calm her down. Tell her I will fix it; just hold on until I do. And be careful, honey." She nodded seriously. I walked out the front door. Megan was sitting on the front step. She had tears in her eyes. She jumped up and hugged me.

"They both love you and each other. Watch for signs that Katie is not thinking and acting on her own. She may not understand what she is doing."

"Damn it Megan, she should know better! She knows what it is to be cut off. She saved Amy from that. Why would she do this?" It never even occurred to me that Megan was not in there for the conversation and might not know what I was talking about. Never fear; Megan knew about this before it happened, apparently.

"Exactly. Someone else may be controlling this. Be careful with her. She may not even be doing this," Megan cautioned. She turned and went into the house. I took out my cell phone and called Katie. I got her voice mail. I called Rebecca's house. Her mother answered. They had not left yet. I asked to talk to Katie. She came on a second later.

"Katie. First, turn on your cell phone. Secondly, wait there. I am picking you up in a minute."

"But Daddy, I'm going shopping. We were going to talk after I got back. I will talk to you then." She tried to brush me off like she did earlier at the house. I was having none of it this time.

"I'm sorry, Katie, but something has come up that is a lot more important than shopping. We need to talk now. I will pick you up in a few minutes. I will try to get you back in time to go shopping."

Two minutes later, I got to Rebecca's house. I rang the doorbell. I assured Rebecca and her mother that this had nothing to do with them, that I just needed Katie for a while. Katie was nervous all the way home, wondering if she was in trouble. I did not want to talk about it until I got her home. I was trying hard to be calm about this, but I just didn't understand how she could do something like this. Then, Megan's words popped into my mind again: "Watch for signs that Katie is not thinking and acting on her own. She may not understand what she is doing. She may not even be doing this." I had to be careful not to say something I might regret later. I looked over at her on the way home and gave her a little smile, trying to make her a little less nervous. I don't think it helped any. When we got home, I took her straight to the back room to talk to her. I did not want her and Amy meeting until I knew what was going on.

I sat Katie down on the couch and sat next her, putting my arm around her and giving her a big hug. I was so grateful to Victoria for talking to me; I would not have been acting this well on my own. Katie looked at me, worry in her eyes, and gave me a tentative little smile.

"What's going on between you and Amy, sweetheart? She is very upset." I tried to be very calm about it. I was calm; Katie got upset.

"She should be, Dad! Do you know what she did?" She was trying her best not to be mad. I would say she was more sad than anything.

"I know what she told me, honey. Now I want to hear what you have to say." I smiled at her encouragingly.

"Good grief, Dad! What's to tell? She slept with someone else! How could she do that? I thought she loved you; we all do. She's the last person I would have thought would do that. What was she thinking? We all had an agreement that we would not..." Katie gulped and shut up abruptly. I realized she had started to say something I was not supposed to know. I let it slide for the moment.

"Honey, maybe she made a mistake. You, of all people, should realize about mistakes and sex." I realized as soon as that came out that it sounded wrong. Luckily, Katie knew how I meant it and took it that way.

"I know, Dad, and I did try to understand in light of that. But, I had no one in my life when I did that stuff. I was desperate for love. Does she really think that what's his name is going to be better than you? She insulted you, Dad. She threw what you two have in your face and basically said she didn't care and didn't want it any more. How could she do that to you?" Katie was crying. I was touched. She really was concerned about me, that I was going to be hurt. I was astounded that she would love me that much that she would be this upset, worrying about my feelings. Something was seriously wrong here. This was not the actions of a girl that would cut Amy out of her mind. But I saw how upset Amy was also. Even though she was initially lying to me about her activities that night, I knew she was not lying about this.