Chapter 81

In all her dreams her father had been a handsome man: — sometimes dashing and charismatic, other times introspective and quiet, but always handsome. The reality was a short, overweight, balding man with a ruddy complexion and mismatched socks.

Despite that, Shawna felt no real disappointment but rather trepidation. As they approached the bench upon which he was sat, the reality of what she was doing seemed to overwhelm her, and she realised she wasn't feeling anything at all. She was a step removed from it. It was hanging around in the back of her own head as he pushed himself to his feet.

He stepped forward, as uncertain as to the proper greeting for the situation as they obviously were, and settled for a firm — if damp — handshake and a gesture for them to sit.

"Sorry, I'm..." She shook her head when she realised Lotty and her father were both staring at her. "I'm fine. It's all just a bit overwhelming."

"I-I-I know," he stammered, and took an obvious effort to calm himself as he sat down. "I'd alm-m-most given up on you deciding to get in touch."

"It's ... I'll be honest. It's not something I've even thought about much, really." Lotty admitted. "I mean I knew you had to be out there somewhere, but it was always just the three of us. You lef ... You and Mum split up before I was even born."

"I left. You can s-s-s-say it." He shrugged. "I ... Your mother didn't try to c-c-c-convince me to stay, but I left."

"I don't really remember you," Shawna said.

"You weren't even two. I'd not expect you to."

"You didn't write or anything."

"Every year at C-C-C-Christmas and on your birthdays I sent a card and a present. As you got older it was j-j-j-just money. I had no idea what you were in to."

"Is that nerves?" Lotty asked.

He nodded with a wry smile.

"It's good to know you're as nervous as we are."

"More. You've not d-d-d-done anything anyone could construe as abandonment."

"It can't have been easy, walking away like that," Lotty offered, as much in hope as anything else.

"It w-w-w-wasn't," he confirmed with a grateful smile. "I'm glad I don't need to convince you of that."

"You do know Mum never told us about the cards and presents, right?" Shawna asked him.

"I didn't, but I'm n-n-n-not surprised."

The conversation seemed to falter at that point, the three of them staring at anything but each other as they tried to find something to talk about. Finally, Shawna's father broke the stalemate.

"I'm sorry. I had s-s-s-so many things I w-w-w-wanted to ask, but I d-d-d-don't want to be too pushy."

"I know what you mean," Lotty whispered with a smile and a shrug.

"You know you c-c-c-can't really be too p-p-p-pushy asking me questions."

"You don't owe us anything," Lotty tried to assure him, but his sceptical look showed what he thought of that, and Shawna cut in before things got into a discussion of the deeper issues ahead of them.

"Did you remarry?" Shawna asked.

"Yes, four years ago now. She's an est-t-t-t-ate agent. She has a son from a previous marriage. Andrew — Drew - he's nine. And we have a little boy of our own now, too. Sean. He's only eighteen months old."

"We have a half-brother!" Lotty smiled.

"Well, Shawna does, obviously," he pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Lotty asked him.

"Well, he's Shawna's half-brother, they both share me as their father..." He looked back and forth between the two of them for a moment as realisation settled over them all. "She never told you, did she?" he asked, but Lotty was already running away, leaving Shawna torn in the middle.

"Go, sh-sh-sh-she needs you," he urged her.

"I'll call you," Shawna promised as she started to move. He nodded, and she turned, but she knew she wasn't going to be able to catch Lotty now.

"Are you alright?"

Marcus wrapped his arms around Hope's waist, pulling her close against him. Despite the sunshine and the thick coat she was cold in the strong wind that whipped about her as it crested the hill they sat upon. She nestled into his grip, reaching up to pull errant hairs out of her face.

"Just a little cold, that's all, and you're seeing to that," she assured him, reaching up to cup his cheek without taking her eyes off the trio on the bench below.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly, his breath warm on her ear. "Because you seemed edgy before we left, and on the way up here."

"It's a big deal for Sho. We were a little on edge with you and your dad, remember."

He nodded and fell silent, leaving Hope to stew on what she suspected but hoped wouldn't come to light today. That hope faded as Lotty stormed away, heading down the path that led to the meadows beyond the park.

"Damn!" Hope hissed as Shawna got to her feet, torn between staying and going. Marcus' head had come up from her shoulder, and Hope quickly pulled herself out of his arms.

"What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. You go catch Lotty. Neither of us will get there. I'll make sure Shawna's alright."

Marcus didn't argue, though he did spare a lingering glance on a rather distraught-looking Shawna down below them before turning away.

Shawna had given up trying to catch her sister by the time Hope got to the bottom of the steps to join her. Her father shuffled closer, fiddling nervously with the zip on his coat.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like this. I ... I just assumed your mother would have told you by now," he muttered, sparing a rueful nod of greeting for Hope.

"She never said a thing," Shawn confirmed, staring off to where she could see Marcus gaining slowly on the fleeing figure of Lotty.

"It gets worse," Hope muttered, taking her hand.

"How? How does it g..." Shawna started, then turned to look at her. "You don't even know what happened."

"You and Lotty don't have the same father?" Hope phrased it as a question, and Shawna confirmed with a nod. "Then it gets worse, because I think I know who is."

"Who?"

"Richard Travers."

Hope leant out slightly to look at Shawna's father who nodded a confirmation.

"And you sent Marcus after her!" Shawna made to run again, but Hope kept a tight hold on her sleeve.

"I didn't tell him that. She might work it out, but ... I wouldn't have caught her, and neither would either of you."

"That might have been better," Shawna pointed out and started walking.

"Where are we going?"