Chapter 67

Hope and Shawna were uncomfortable. They flitted from seat to seat, changed places, changed positions, but the cause of the discomfort was internal, and they knew it. The silence grew longer, heavier, more wearing, and even when Briana arrived and she and Elspeth sat talking in the corner things didn't really improve.

Night had fallen fully by the time the door creaked open, and Ally slowly led the way in. Hope and Shawna quickly scrambled to their feet, and Marcus followed through the door behind her, hunched and wary. His eyes were cold, flicking back and forth between the two of them. Nobody spoke, and the atmosphere grew heavy, settling over all of them.

"You're Ally, right?" Elspeth finally asked to break the mood. "I'm Elspeth."

"I remember, and I remember Briana." Ally shook her hand, but it was a feeble attempt, and they turned back to the real issue. Hope was weeping softly into her hands, and Shawna was just stuck staring at her feet, trying to find words.

"I'll just get some of my stuff and stay with Tony," Marcus said, after a few minutes, and he was the only one that moved.

"Oh, god..." Shawna screwed her eyes up as he passed her, headed for his room, and Elspeth, of all people, snapped.

"Ally, have you met Hope?"

"Not really, no."

"Good — take her over there. Get to know her. Briana, don't let Marcus leave if you have to sink your teeth into his leg."

Briana nodded, placing herself in the doorway. "You, Shawna, I want a word with you." Elspeth grabbed her arm, half-dragging her away.

"Why can't I say sorry, El?" Shawna whispered, as they moved through to the kitchen. "I know it's not enough. I know that, but it's a start, but... I just can't even push that out."

"Are you sorry?"

"What? Oh, God, of course I'm sorry."

"You hurt Marcus. You're sorry for that. But that's not what I meant. Hope, are you sorry about that?"

"No." The answer was quick, but it was strong, and there was a fire in her eyes for a moment. "But I don't want to lose Marcus."

"Then you don't need to apologise to Marcus. You need to choose, between Marcus and Hope."

"How do I choose? That's like... You can either eat or breathe. I can't choose."

"I didn't say this was easy. You asked me why you couldn't say sorry. It's because you don't know why you're saying sorry. Are you apologising because you're splitting up, or apologising because you've made a stupid mistake and want him to take you back? Which means apologising to Hope and admitting you made a mistake. You have to decide who to apologise to, first."

"I don't want... I don't know, El."

"Those are the cards on the table, Shawna. Play or fold."

"This is awkward, isn't it," Ally said with a half-smile, but Hope just flaked into a chair.

"All my stupid, stupid, selfish fault," she muttered to herself. "All the things I did, all the silly, little rules I broke. I just had to go one too far."

"Why are you telling me this?" Ally asked, sitting opposite her. "Marcus is in there, tell him."

"I can't... he... he and Shawna. I'm going to go. My bag's already half-packed." She stared back at her room but made no effort to move towards it.

"Soooo, Marcus leaves. You leave. Even if Shawna stays, that's still all three of you miserable. What happened?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"He's pretty good like that."

That just set Hope weeping again.

"He is... classy. Not like me, not like Shawna, pair of..."

"Hey, I didn't say that. I'm not making any accusations." Ally reached out, taking her hand, thinking she'd upset her.

"I know... Marcus speaks well of you, you know. I see why. No, I'm calling me this."

"What did you do?"

"Marcus... Marcus caught Shawna cheating on him."

"Shit. I'd hoped it was something else, but... I couldn't come to anything else from what he'd said. And I dragged him back here." Her face was like thunder and she started to rise, eyes fixed on Shawna, but Hope's hand caught hers. "At least she had the sense to get rid of the guy before we got back."

"It wasn't like that. It was... It was with me."

Ally dropped back into the chair, stunned, and just tried to catch her breath.

"Is... How is that any different?" she finally managed, her anger rising again. "If he thought they were exclusive — and I can't imagine him getting this angry if he didn't. How could you? I thought you were supposed to be his friend."

"I am," she said. "I was... weak? Selfish. I wanted him, at first. I'd still take him. I'd take either. Life's brighter when they're around, but they're brighter around each other. She's not the same when he's not here He's not the same when she's not here. I didn't see that until yesterday. Too late... Would you tell them I'm gone? I... I don't want another argument."

"I think that would probably be best," Ally acceded, the words catching in her throat. Hope receded into the bedroom just as Marcus appeared from his, a duffel bag packed and his guitar under his arm.

"Come on, Ally. I should go."

"Hope's going," Ally told him, plucking at her sleeve as her conscience plucked at her. She knew she hadn't fought the idea particularly hard, wanting to clear the way for Shawna and Marcus. For her and Nick. Weak... selfish... She heard the thoughts, echoes, and shoved them away. She had a baby to think about, a family to knit together.

"If she wants... I don't think I want to be here right now, though." Marcus said, after a moment to think.

Ally just nodded, and they turned towards the door, where Briana stood looking nervous.

"Look, Marcus..."

"I want to go, Briana."

"Elspeth told me to keep you here until she'd finished with Shawna."

"You can't stop me leaving."

"I can try. I'd never hear the end of it if I just let you go. She'd never forgive me."

"Never forgive... I know how that feels," he said, trying to ease past her gently.

"I see what you mean about good people, you know," Briana said, trying desperately to keep him in place.

"What?"

"Hope's leaving because she blames herself, and thinks she's the one that deserves to be punished. Good person, deep down. Shawna's afraid to face you because she thinks you've every right to punish her, too. You're leaving because you think, deep down, you weren't good enough to keep her. What I don't understand is why?"

They both knew she was stalling for time, but he didn't get the chance to answer, as the doorbell rang, jolting them all a little.

She stepped aside, peeling open the door.

"Mr. Nakata!"

"Brionny, right?" he said, a broad but worried smile across his face.

"Briana."

"Briana, sorry. Is she here? Hope?"

"Uh... yeah... look, I know you've probably come a long way, but... This isn't a good time."

"Briana, I get a garbled voice-mail message this morning saying somebody's been blackmailing my daughter and that she's been at a police station all night, and then nothing else all day... I'd like to see Hope, please. Now."

"The police station?" Ally said, looking down at Marcus' arm again, and he hurriedly pulled his sleeves down to cover the bandage. "This has been a hell of a day, hasn't it?" He just nodded. "When did you last sleep?"

"Yesterday morning... woke up at 6. It was a good day, for a while."

"Oh, Marcus!" She wept, pressing her forehead against his, gritting her teeth, hating herself at the same time as she gave in to her better half. "Sit down. Briana, let Mr. Nakata in. I'll go and get Hope."

"Ally?" a familiar voice called from the stairs behind Mr. Nakata.

"Nick?"

"What the hell's going on?" Nick asked.

Briana opened the door fully, and Mr. Nakata entered, with Nick leaping up the stairs behind him.

"How did you know where I was?" she wondered, wrapping herself around him, relaxing a little now that he was here, then tensing again when she realised what he was about to hear.

"I saw the tracks on the drive at home, and it matched Marcus' bike. What's going on?"