Chapter 53

Hope drained the last of her bottle with a sigh, and gathered it up with the others to put in the recycling bin on the way out.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Elspeth asked, getting a patient smile from Hope.

"I've had three, that's all," Hope said. "And, for the umpteenth time, I'm fine. It was just a long day."

"I can't believe he honestly thinks Marcus will just up and leave for the states," Brianna said, holding Elspeth's coat for her while she shrugged into it, and then they traded places.

"He's not going to. That's pretty obvious. Even Shawna wasn't worried about that, and she was paranoid about everything he did. I think she expected him to whip out a car aerial and beat Marcus with it until he said he'd go."

"Does he really still have scars?"

"I didn't ask to see them," Hope said, "but Shawna says they're like a foot long, right across his back. Seven of them."

"That's awful. And Marcus is talking to him?" Elspeth shook her head in wonder.

"He's his dad. It's... I'd give anything to be able to talk to my Mum again."

"Yeah, but your Mum was nice," Elspeth said, hugging her gently. "I'd pay good money to talk to your Mum. She was always nice to people. But someone that'd beat you with a car aerial?"

"I don't understand it, really," Brianna said as they left the bar. "But, on the other hand, there's lots of things about Marcus that I don't understand. He has a different way of thinking. If he says that it's so I just accept it."

"He doesn't think that differently to us, you know, not about most things," Hope interrupted. "He wants just the same things we do. He just... he doesn't always recognise it when he sees it in other people."

"What?" Elspeth and Briana were both obviously lost.

"It's... you want people to think that you're smart and funny and kind and all that, right? So does he, but when people do think he's funny, he doesn't always realise it. He doesn't recognise people appreciating him — or not appreciating him — he's living in this little bubble most of the time where he's only got the words people use to go by. It's like he's living in MSN Messenger all the time, and someone's disabled the little smiley faces. There're words, but you can't always tell what the feeling behind them is."

"Right." Elspeth shook her head, slightly, and shared a meaningful look with Briana. "And, in this little MSN Messenger world that Marcus lives in, he's got Shawna on his 'special friends' list... Does he realise anyone else wants to be on it?"

"We're all on his special friends list," Hope laughed, but Elspeth pulled her back a little, turning her around.

"We're all on his friends list, but Shawna's on his special friends list. Does he know that you want to be there, too?"

"That's ridiculous." Hope tried to shrug it off, pulling free of Elspeth's hand, but Briana was behind her as she turned.

"It's not, Hope," she said, sympathetically. "We've seen it for a while now. You've not... you've not gone out with anyone, and there's got to be people asking. This is the first time you've come with us without Shawna or Marcus being here, and all you've talked about all night is Shawna and Marcus."

"Not really," Hope said, and then shrugged. "Alright, yes. I like him, but he's with Shawna. I know that. I know nothing's going to happen."

"You aren't going to do anything to make them split up, then?" Elspeth asked.

Hope spun round on her.

"What? NO! I can't believe... you'd... you just wanted to get me to admit I liked him, really, didn't you?"

"Well, yes," she admitted. "We figured once you admitted it, you could start to move past it."

"I don't want to move past it. I'm happy. I don't miss dating. I'm having fun where I am. I get to spend time in Marcus' and Shawna's company. I get plenty of time to get my work done. I don't spend as much on boozy nights out as you guys do."

"That's because you only drink about half a pint's worth in an evening," Briana pointed out. "Look, we're sorry. It's just... we wanted to make sure you weren't going to go all Marcus on us, and pine away for years until you threaten to throw yourself off a cliff."

"That's not funny!" Hope snapped back.

"No, no it isn't," Elspeth agreed. "That's why we checked."

"I'm fine, really."

"Alright." Briana smiled. "Well, we're heading home. Do you want us to walk you back?"

"It's completely the other direction," Hope pointed out. "We meet here because it's conveniently in the middle. You guys go ahead. I'll get the Union Minibus. It's due in a half-hour or so."

"Are you sure?" Elspeth looked doubtful. "I mean, have you got any idea the kind of people that are likely to be on that bus?"

"Young, attractive women without a car or a date to escort them home, I'm guessing," Hope suggested. "I figure you guys were trying to hint I should find someone..."

"We weren't suggesting you start trawling the bus shelters, though," Briana said, nudging her with a hip. "Be careful, yeah. If you need someone to walk you, call us."

"I will."

The pair made sure she meant it, then disappeared into the late evening darkness, leaving Hope to turn back to the warmth of the union. It wasn't a cold night, but too cool to stand around without a jacket. Turning her back on the bar, she instead turned to the restaurant, which this late at night had been closed down and turned into a sort of social club. Light music was playing out over the Tannoy system, and the coffee and tea machines were still working, supplying the small clusters of people sat around tables and in the comfortable seats.

A few of them were gathered around open textbooks, presumably studying, while some were just sat talking. A larger group in the far corner had pushed a few tables together and were pushing little soldiers around on it, while a group next to them were playing a role-playing game, acting out some exaggerated sword-fight. Hope moved quietly around to the coffee-machine. Opening her purse, she found that she didn't have the right change, and sighed in frustration.

"You need change?" She spun around, surprised at the familiar voice, and found herself face to cleavage with Yvonne. Stepping back a little, she looked up and Yvonne took a step back, too.

"Long time no see," she said, looking awkward.

"Is that a surprise?" Hope asked, snapping her purse shut.

"No, not really," Yvonne admitted, relaxing a little when it became obvious that Hope wasn't going to make too much of a scene.

"How about 'my treat' then, rather than change." She pressed a fifty pence piece into the slot. "What did you want?"

"Hot chocolate, please," Hope finally answered.

"I have to say, you're the last person I'd have expected to see here in the Wasteland."

"The Wasteland?"

"That's what we call it," she waved around at the room. "People come here that don't really fit anywhere else, you know. Don't feel like going home, don't feel like heading to the bar."

"I'd have thought you'd be out clubbing."

"I'm trying to give it up," Yvonne admitted with a rueful grin.

"Too hard on your studying?"

"Too expensive." She pointed towards a nearby table. Moving through the room Hope saw into the darkened fringes and realised that most of the booths were occupied.

"They're the ones that live with their parents — no dorm rooms to go back too, probably no cars to fumble around on the back seats of."

"I never thought of that, really."

"You didn't?" Yvonne sat down opposite her, wrapping her long fingers around her own plastic cup. "I figured you'd know all about that, with your background."

"My background?" Hope's eyebrow rose dangerously, and Yvonne hastily gulped a mouthful of coffee, and then swore under her breath when it burnt her tongue.

"Look, it's just... I got the feeling you were from a fairly quiet family, alright? I'm guessing your parents weren't the sort to let you have guys in your room — or to even entertain the idea of having girls in your room."

"My mum's dead," Hope pointed out, then immediately felt bad for using her mother to score cheap points.

"Sorry."

"It's alright, I'm still getting used to it. I didn't mean anything. You're right, though. My dad would never let me have a guy in my room. I'm not sure he'd even grasp the concept of me being with a girl."

"Speaking of which..." Yvonne's voice was quiet, and she took another sip of her drink as she thought of what to say. "I just... I never said sorry for what I did."

"Why did you do it?"

"What?" It obviously wasn't the response Yvonne had been expecting.

"Why did you do it? I mean, you've got the looks, the figure, a certain sort of charm. Why did you feel the need to drug me?"

"Because... I don't know, really. Because I don't think you'd have relaxed enough to do it if I hadn't."

"But that's what I don't get. Why me? There are loads of people out there if all you wanted was a good time, and I can't believe you thought it would be anything more than that if you had to drug me to get it."

"I've had people like that, they're... they're selfish. They don't give. They don't share. You have to almost fight to get any fun out of them. It's lifeless, soulless, pointless sex, and its... I don't want that, you know. I want someone to actually feel something, to want something... someone to want me."

"Want, or wanted?"

"Both, I guess... Jesus, I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."

"This is the sort of conversation you should be having with your mum," Hope said with a wistful smile.

"Not much chance of that, she spends all her time talking to Jack and Gordon."

"Jack and Gordon?"

"Jack Daniels and Gordon's Gin."

"Oh. Dad?"

"Dad... well, last I heard he was in South Africa, but he might have moved on since then. It's been about a year."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't know."

"Is that why you're living in halls? Your accent says your local."

"My mother thinks I'm at Edinburgh. I need her to pay for the room, but I don't want her to know I'm local or she'll stop paying and expect me to live at home."

"That sounds... I don't know. I can't really imagine what that's like, not being able to go home."

"Really? You can't go home and say, 'Dad, this is my girlfriend Shawna'."

"Shawna is not my girlfriend!" Hope squeaked, and immediately shrank into her seat a little as faces turned towards her.

"Say it a little louder." Yvonne smiled, and they both giggled, suddenly. "Look, it was just someone you seemed to have something with."

"We'd broken up by the time I met you. I thought I'd told you that."

"You did, but you two seemed to go well together. I figured you'd be back together by now."

"She's still with Marcus."

"Ah, the guy with the..." she waved a hand near her head, "the thing. You did tell me. Like your brother."

"Asperger's".

"Yeah, that." They fell silent for a while, sipping at their drinks and beginning to feel awkward.

"So... why are you here, then?" Yvonne finally succumbed to feeling, having finished her drink first.

"Waiting for the union minibus."

"It doesn't run on Tuesdays."

"What?"

"Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. They cut it back at Christmas."

"Bugger!"

"You need someone to walk you home?"

"I... I should probably call Marcus and Shawna."

"You need to borrow a phone?"

"No..." Hope finished her coffee, thinking of how Shawna might feel if she phoned to interrupt their evening. They'd come, but even if Shawna didn't think it was deliberate, she'd still see Marcus coming at Hope's beck and call.

"It's alright, I'll walk." She decided.

"On your own? I'll walk you."

"And then you'll have to walk twice as far on your own."

"That's OK."

"No it's not," Hope said. "How were you supposed to be getting home?"

"I was going to walk. I do it a lot."

"You aren't worried?"

"A little, but... you can't let that stop you."

"Come on, I'll walk you.

"Alright, thanks."

"You don't seem in any great hurry," Yvonne said, and Hope realised she was still sitting.

"I was just... I was thinking of something... never mind."

"Have you actually got somewhere to go?" Yvonne looked worried, and Hope couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes, it's not that. I'm just... I don't want to interrupt Marcus and Shawna's evening together."

"She's got her own room, right? You're not going to walk in on anything."

"No, but..."

"But you'll know they're there."

"They're pretty thin walls," Hope admitted, and blushed slightly.

"Well, look... technically, if you wanted to come back, I'm still in our room. I couldn't stop you if I wanted, but... think of it as an offer of somewhere to crash for the night."

Hope eyed her warily for a moment, and then looked back to her cup. Briana and Elspeth probably hadn't meant Yvonne when they had told her that other people were asking, but here she was. And she was quite attractive, even after the chocolate had taken the edge off the three Bacardi breezers she'd had that night.

"Thanks," Hope said, rising to her feet. "It's not my room. I told the Admin I was moving out. They've not been charging me."

"I know, but your name's still down on the board, and I've not been assigned a roommate. I can lend you a night-shirt, but you'll have to walk home in your own stuff."

"I'll live."

"I can't believe you were that stupid." Lorraine pulled on Tony's shirtsleeve and he groaned as it shifted his bruised shoulder.

"It was a good tackle. I couldn't help who landed on me after I made it," he said, relaxing as his arms slipped free and settled back to his side.

"This game isn't good for you, you know." She pushed him back into the seat and knelt down to grab start undoing his shoes.

"Bloody typical." He let his head flop back onto the top of the headboard.

"What?"

"I finally get a slave willing to undress me, and I'm too badly injured to do anything about it."

"I'll give you bloody 'slave.'" She slapped his leg, laughing. "Anyway... who said you had to do anything."

Slipping his shoes off she tugged on the legs of his jeans, which he'd already slipped off his hips before he sat down, and then shuffled forward on her knees between his legs.

"Oh!" He smiled, broadly, and closed his eyes as she fished into his underwear. "Oh, well. Carry on then..."

"I have teeth," she pointed out, and he came up quickly, but she didn't follow through on her threat. He settled back to the bed with a satisfied groan as she opened her mouth and gently teased the head of his cock with her lips.