Chapter 47

Elspeth and Brianna traipsed slowly down the stairs, heads close together and speaking quietly, sombrely to each other as Hope eased the door closed behind them.

"I'd feel better if they'd accept a lift," Mr Nakata muttered, quietly.

Hope turned to him with a tired smile. "I think they just want the fresh air." She shrugged, leaning back against the door.

"I get like that, sometimes. I just want to be outside, away from all the walls and doors and people pressing in on you."

"Marcus, too." Shawna said, from the couch. "Me, I prefer curling up with a blanket and a bottle of wine in an armchair, pulling the covers over my head, and just wrapping myself up."

"I suppose we all have places to go, sometimes." Mr Nakata said. "I... well..."

"You're allowed to admit you go visit Mum, Dad," Faith whispered, peering into the carry-cot as the baby gurgled.

"I... I could use a walk myself," Hope decided.

"Would you like some company?" her father asked, and she smiled and nodded as Faith looked a little awkward.

"I'll... I'll stay here, Emily's just dropped off."

"I can watch her," Shawna offered, then blushed slightly. "I mean... you know... if you want."

"I didn't think you liked babies?" Hope asked, slipping a jacket on.

"I don't want babies — yet. I don't mind borrowing someone else's for a while."

"Well, you shouldn't get any trouble from her," Faith assured her, "She's fed and changed. She'll probably sleep for an hour or so at least."

"I've got my phone if anything happens." Hope assured her, and the trio walked out, leaving Shawna to curl up on the sofa with a book. When Marcus emerged from their room a half-hour later she'd not finished the page.

"Hey, sweetheart." she greeted him, closing the book, gently.

"Did everything get sorted?" he asked, looking around for signs of people.

"Sorted? Not... In a way. Brianna found another lump, or, rather, Elspeth did."

Marcus paused for a moment, in the middle of the room, pondering the significance for a moment.

"How is she?" he finally asked.

"Resigned, I think, is probably the best description. She was saying all the right things, about how it could still be anything, and there are treatments and whatever, but... I think she's expecting bad news."

"It saves you from being disappointed." Marcus reminded her. "How did Tony take the news?"

"Oh shit!" She jumped up from the seat and headed for the phone, jostling the carry-cot as she went. Flustered and startled, she turned back and snatched the blanket off the baby in panic, waking her.

"Go phone." Marcus nudged her, and reached in just as Emily started to cry. Picking her up, he laid her gently across his arms, and whispered quietly to her for a moment to calm her down, as Shawna began scrolling through the names on her phone. Marcus was just taking his seat when the door opened, and Faith nudged past Hope into the hallway.

"We heard her start crying." Faith pointed out, holding her coat closed around herself and giving Marcus a strange look.

"I'm sorry... she was crying... I just... I didn't do anything."

"We know." Hope assured him with a smile. "It's not like that, Marcus. It's just an instinct thing. She seems to be settling down well enough."

"She does," Faith admitted, blushing a little. "Sorry..."

"It's OK. Did you want her?" he asked, but Faith waved him back into the seat as Mr Nakata closed the door gently.

"No, no it's alright. You seem to be doing fine."

"You seem to be quite comfortable there, young man," Mr Nakata offered as he took a seat opposite Marcus, who just shrugged.

"Do you want some of your own, some day?"

"I..." Marcus stared down at the tiny form in his arms with a resigned sigh, and then held her gently out to her mother. "I can't."

"Oh... I'm sorry to..." Mr Nakata began, obviously embarrassed, but Hope cut him off.

"Nothing stopping you, Marcus."

"It'd be pretty irresponsible, knowing what I'm passing on," he pointed out. "No offence, Mr Nakata, I'm sure you didn't know, at the time."

"True," he observed, as Marcus got to his feet.

"You don't know that you'll pass it on, Marcus," Hope pointed out. "And even if you do, it doesn't mean the end of everything. You do fine with it. Others do, too."

"I wouldn't wish my childhood on anyone." Marcus pointed out.

"I wouldn't wish it on anyone, either," she agreed, "but that had more to do with your parents problems than with yours, and with no-one around you really knowing what they were dealing with. Your kids wouldn't have that problem."

"Easy to say, Hope." He said, heading quietly for the kitchen. "It's not easy for me to bond with people, though — imagine what sort of relationship you'd get between a parent and child who both struggled to read each other like that?"

"I can't believe we forgot about him." Shawna shook her head, gently, sitting back into place on the sofas. "Where's Marcus?"

"Forgot who?" Faith asked, as Hope nodded towards the kitchen.

"Tony, Brianna's brother," Shawna explained, raising a curious eyebrow towards Hope.

"Daddy asked him about having children — he seemed really comfortable with Emily."

"He loves kids," Shawna said with a sympathetic smile. "And he seems intent on not having any."

"Doesn't that..." Mr Nakata began.

"Don't, Daddy," Hope interrupted.

He started to reply, but she raised a finger to cut him off again. "Not everyone looks at it like that."

"I do," He pointed out, and she nodded. "But not everyone else does. Fair enough. I'll go talk to the young man anyway, if that's alright?"

"Alright." She waved, dismissively, a gentle smile creasing the corner of her mouth while Shawna watched the byplay with a confused frown. Mr Nakata crossed to the kitchen as the kettle began to heat noisily.

"What was that all about?" she asked, and the two sisters shared a look and a shrug.

"As far as Daddy's concerned," Hope explained, "the major purpose of getting married is to have children."

"Go forth, increase and multiply," Faith quoted, with a distracted shrug, staring down at Emily as she clutched at a finger.

"Wow... he must object to Marcus and I on so many levels right now," Shawna said.

Hope just chuckled. "What did Tony say?"

"I couldn't get through to him. I left a message for him to call us."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"I've no idea. I figured I'd probably just tell him Brianna would appreciate a visit."

"That's a fair idea," Hope agreed. "Did you try Lorraine's number?"

"Damn, no." Shawna turned on the couch, grabbing the phone from behind her on the small table, and turning back as she searched the address book again. "My brain's been like mush all bloody day today."

Marcus froze for a moment as Mr Nakata appeared in the doorway.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Marcus finally asked, which drew a light chuckle as Mr Nakata slipped into one of the seats.

"I don't know that I've ever met a group that drinks as much tea as you and your friends," Mr. Nakata said. Marcus paused for a moment, and he continued. "No, thank you, Marcus. I'm fine."

"Right."

"Would you sit for a moment?" Mr Nakata gestured across the table and Marcus hesitantly joined him at the table.

"What... I'm sorry about Emily, sir. I really didn't mean to wake her."

"As I understand it, Marcus, you didn't," he acknowledged. "That's not why I came in here, though."

"Oh."

"Hope's told you about Tommy, I know."

Marcus nodded, unsure of what to say.

"He's... By many definitions he's a burden more than a son, a chore more than a reward. People who don't live with us, who don't know him like we do, look at him and see a trapped, haunted soul out of touch with his body and his world. You probably appreciate that in a different way to me, but you know what I mean."

"I... it's not..." Marcus started to talk, but Mr Nakata raised a hand, waiting for him to stop.

"You don't see it like that, I know. I don't see it like that, either. I've had three children, Marcus, and each of them is different. Each of them is unique. Faith was a challenge from the moment she was born. She's always been headstrong and forthright. Hope's... meek isn't the right word, but she's always needed to be coaxed out of her shell, urged to show the world what a wonder she is.

"They're both beautiful young women in every sense, and I'm proud of them for so many different things. Faith has a beautiful child of her own — my first grandchild — and a husband, and is following her dream of running a business from home. Hope is flowering here in a way I couldn't have dreamed of even a year ago...

"Tommy learnt to tie his own shoes this year. He's been out of nappies for sixteen months now, and he can speak nearly two-hundred words, and I'm as proud of him as I am of them. Yes, he's hard work, in his way, but trekking a few hundred miles today to see Hope wasn't easy."

They fell silent for a moment, waiting.

"I'm sorry, Mr Nakata, I get the impression that you wanted to convey a point, but I have no idea what it was." He flushed, slightly, embarrassed, but Mr Nakata just shook his head with a smile.

"What I'm saying, Marcus, is that when you have children, it doesn't matter how they come out, you love them and cherish them and nurture them regardless. Tommy has problems, but he knows without a doubt that he's loved unconditionally. I don't know any of the details, but I get the feeling that wasn't the case with you... You don't have to be that sort of parent, and people with autistic children don't have to be those sorts either."

"How do you know what Tommy feels?" Marcus asked, looking up. "I mean... he may be quieter and more comfortable at home, but that could just be the familiarity of regular surroundings."

"There's an element of that," Mr Nakata admitted, "but... you can see it in his eyes sometimes. It's not as frequent as with Faith or Hope, not as obvious, but it's there. It's rarer, but so much more precious for all that. All I'm saying, Marcus, is don't presume that having a disabled child means you've failed or done something wrong. The Lord has a purpose in all things." He smiled and stood, pushing his chair back under the table. "It may be that the Lord sends you a child like you so that you can do a better job than was done with you."

He was out of the room by the time Marcus looked up and muttered his reply to himself.

"Then what did I do wrong to get put where I was put?"

"What did she have to say?" Lorraine asked, climbing into the passenger seat of the van as daintily as she could, smiling at the slight incongruity of the long, formal dress and the battered Toyota flatbed.

"That Brianna could use a visit." Tony flipped the phone closed with a confused expression and climbed in beside her. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Maybe she's..." Lorraine trailed off, in thought. "Alright, I have no idea at all. Bri' seems pretty independent, I can't imagine what she'd want... Tony?"

Tony's whole demeanour shifted as she spoke, a weight seeming to settle on his shoulders.

"Damn," He whispered, and jammed the key at the ignition, needing a second attempt to get it in.

"Tony, what is it?" Lorraine leant forward a little to look at him, putting a hand over his as he tried to put the truck into gear.

"You're right, Bri's pretty strong-minded, she doesn't need much support... usually."

"But?"

"She got pretty down during her treatment — losing her hair and the chemo and all that."

"You think it's come back?"

"I... it's probably an over-reaction." The gears ground a little as he forced them into place. Then he took a long breath and settled himself before pulling away. Neither of them spoke before they reached the halls of residence. They found the girls' room empty.

"She might just be ignoring us?" Lorraine offered.

"No, she'd let me in," he shrugged. "Maybe they're at Shawna and Marcus' place."

"Then why wouldn't Shawna have said?"

"Because they left, then came back. That message was a while ago." He started to move off, but Lorraine caught his arm and dragged him to a halt.

"Are you alright, really?"

"I'll be fine." He forced a tight smile. "I just want to know what's going on."

"You already know what's going on," she told him, grabbing his other arm and turning him to face her. "Or at least you suspect it... Just don't forget that I'm here for you."

"I know, Lo-Lo." The smile this time was genuine, if a little weak, and he gently kissed her knuckles as he raised her hands to his lips. "Thank you. Let's go see if we can prove my worst fears are unfounded first, shall we?"

"They've not come back here," Hope confirmed, looking gravely at Marcus and Shawna as she carried on her half of the conversation. "They didn't say, they just walked out. You might want to try some travel agencies... They were talking about going to Egypt... Really?... Well, we'll let her know you're looking for her if we see her... Yeah, see you later."

"Has he twigged, do you think?" Shawna asked.

"Twigged?" Mr Nakata looked up, with a faint smile. "I don't think I've heard that phrase for years."

Hope smiled at him as she passed and settled onto the sofa.

"I think so," She said, sadly. "He seemed pretty intense."

"That's not really Tony," Shawna pointed out, needlessly, and they lapsed into silence for a few minutes.

"Well, Hope, I'm afraid we're going to have to head off if we're going to get to your Aunt's before bed-time." Mr Nakata broke the contemplative quiet after a while, and Hope sighed, turning towards the clock.

"I'm sorry. It hasn't really been the visit I'd hoped it'd be," she said, standing and moving to help Faith start packing the bags.

"Well, some things were beyond your control. No-one can help when they get ill — and some things came out that might otherwise have been kept secret." He pointedly looked at Marcus — who froze, uncertain of how to react — and Shawna, who raised an eyebrow at the implicit criticism. "You're happy, though, and you have good friends around you, so I've got all the reassurances I came here for." The rest of the packing and the goodbyes took another half-hour, and by the time they were loading up the car Elspeth and Brianna had returned to lend a hand.

"Well, it was nice to meet you all," Mr Nakata finally declared, Emily safely ensconced in the car as he and his eldest daughter bade their final farewells.

"It was nice to meet you, too, Nakata-san, Nakata-sama," Elspeth replied, with a slight forced chirpiness.

"Nakata-sama?" Mr Nakata peered at her with a questioning glance.

"San for men, sama... for... wom..." she began to explain, and trailed off with a slightly cleared throat. "That's not right, is it?"

"Typically, the —san suffix is polite if familiar, and the —sama one is more... formal, but to a superior. Someone you work for, perhaps, or maybe a teacher," He explained, trying not to lecture.

"Thanks, Bri." Elspeth turned her embarrassment round. "I thought you knew languages?"

"Romance languages, El," she pointed out. "Latin, French, Italian..."

"You didn't correct me, either," Elspeth said, rounding on Hope who was trying not to laugh.

"Me? Why would I know."

"You're... well, not Japanese, but... of Japanese extraction."

"The nearest I've gotten to speaking Japanese was a couple of Judo lessons and watching the Kill Bill scene in the Blue Leaf house or whatever the place was called," Hope pointed out. "Born and bred in Scotland, that's me."

Crossing her arms in a mock pout, Elspeth snorted loudly, then started giggling herself as Mr Nakata drew Hope aside and hugged her gently before getting into the car. Faith was more demonstrative, pulling her sister in tight and whispering a few words in her ear which got a laugh before she too slipped into her seat.

"What did she say?" Shawna asked, as they waved the car away.

"That Daddy completely forgot to ask about my boyfriend."

"You've got a boyfriend?" Brianna queried, leaning forward. "You didn't say anything."

"We, uh..." Hope looked at Shawna, and the pair started giggling. "We broke up."

Marcus retreated to the kitchen to make tea and coffee as Shawna and the others settled into the seats in the living area.

"Are you guys OK?" she asked as Elspeth and Brianna nestled in together on a single cushion of the sofa.

"What can you do?" Brianna shrugged, after they shared a look. "We took a walk, had a talk... nothing's settled, nothing's certain. We don't know for sure that I've got anything, yet, so..."

"You're taking it well," Shawna observed.

"Me? I've been through it before." Brianna turned and pulled Elspeth even closer, nestling in against her neck. "She's been incredible. She's still a cancer-virgin."

As well as she might be taking it, none of them could fail to notice Elspeth's flinch when Brianna said the word, and they silently agreed not to say it again. Hope rose quietly, snatching her phone from the table, and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Something wrong?" Marcus asked, turning as she walked in.

"No." She held the phone against her ear as it started to ring. "I just didn't want Bri to hear me telling Ton... hang on. Tony... Yeah, it's Hope. Listen, Brianna's come back here... Just a minute ago, she's going to be a while... No, he's not even finished boiling the kettle yet... I'll get him to put on extra... Is Lorraine coming? Right... See you in a minute."