Chapter 46

"Is the kettle on?" Hope almost squeaked, poking her head through the kitchen door. Shawna smirked and nodded, walking slowly out into the sitting area with a big, bowl-shaped cup of tea clutched in both hands.

"This isn't going to work, you know." She pointed out, as Hope scurried about, realigning cushions that hadn't been out of place.

"You think they were better all on the sofa?" Hope didn't look away from her work.

"I didn't mean the cushions, I meant this thing with Marcus for your dad."

"Why not?" Hope didn't turn, but she obviously tensed.

"You're too wound up, your Dad's bound to spot something like that, for one." She folded her legs up beneath her as she settled into place on one of the seats. "For two, Marcus just isn't that good at lying. He's honest, really fundamentally deep-down honest."

"I know..." Hope admitted, turning. "But... my Dad wouldn't notice anything, I don't think. He doesn't pay that much attention."

"Then tell a different lie, don't drag Marcus into it."

"Like what?" Hope turned, despairingly letting her voice rise into a wail.

"Like... 'we broke up'." Shawna shrugged, and Hope stared dumbfounded for a moment.

"That one should have been obvious, shouldn't it?" she seemed to sag a little. "I... I thought about saying he was ill, but my Dad would insist we go see him. I thought about saying he was shy, but that would automatically get my Dad's disapproval..."

"What's wrong with shy?"

"Men shouldn't be shy, men should be assertive." Hope declared, puffing herself up as best she could, and lowering her voice as far as it would go.

"Women should be demure and obedient?" Shawna hazarded, getting a nod. "Is he going to get upset about Marcus and I living together?"

"Almost as much as he'll get upset about me living here with it going on." She forced a wan smile.

"Look, I don't like hiding things from people." Shawna leant forward a little. "I really don't like being judged, but... I won't offer anything unless it comes up, OK. I'll talk to Marcus, too."

"Thanks... why did you wait until now to point this out?"

"Because now it's too late for you to come back in ten minutes with an excuse for why you have to pretend." Shawna smiled as she settled back into her seat, while Hope stared at her.

"You know, it actually feels a little better. I'm not so nervous, now." Her nerves betrayed the comment as the doorbell rang and she flinched.

"Chin up." Shawna smiled, and headed for the door. "Elspeth! Girl, you look like shit." Hope's attention was caught when Elspeth didn't reply. "Come on in."

"I'll put some tea on." Hope told them, as she saw the Elspeth's pale face. "Are you ill?"

"No, I'm... I just need someone to talk to." Despite that, she hadn't said anything by the time Hope returned with the tray.

"What's up, El?" she settled into place on the other side of the quiet girl from Shawna.

"I... Brianna has another lump." She whispered.

"Oh, hell. How is she?" Shawna asked, and shared a look with Hope at the extended silence that stretched out in the wake of the question. "El?"

"She doesn't know, yet."

"OK, I think you need to start from the beginning." Hope sounded confused.

"I found a lump, on Brianna." Elspeth looked up at her.

"And you didn't tell her?" Shawna sounded shocked.

"This morning?" Hope wanted to know.

"Last night. I... I couldn't tell her. I didn't know what to say, how to say it. I didn't know how she'd react... she counts the days, you know, since the last one. Each day, in her diary, she starts with a number..."

"You're scared." Hope wrapped an arm around her. "But you do have to tell her."

"I know... but... how the hell do I tell her that? Now? Just when she's gotten used to it being gone?"

Neither of them had a good answer.

When the doorbell rang again, Hope was too caught up in Elspeth's worries to feel nervous, and opened the door distractedly expecting to see her father.

"Faith!" she laughed, as her sister smiled at her over the blanket-wrapped baby she carried. "Daddy didn't say you were coming."

"Surprise." Quickly shifting the baby to one hip, she reached out to wrap her free arm around Hope's shoulder and pull her in for a tight hug. "He's struggling on his own." She whispered, then pulled away, the smile fixed firmly back in place as she nodded towards the flat. "Dad's bringing the carry-cot in, but I need to sit down, she's not getting any lighter."

"Sorry, come on in." Hope stepped aside and waved her in towards the seats before heading out and down the steps to where her father was approaching along the pavement, laden down with accessories.

"You know," he offered when he saw her, "I'm sure that if this was your mother and me, I'd have had a hand free to hug you now."

"If this was you and Mum," she pointed out, taking some of the bags from him, "Faith would be in the cot and I'd still be just a twinkle in your eye."

"Thank you, Hope," he smiled, adjusting his remaining packages, "I wasn't feeling quite old enough today."

"You aren't old, Daddy." She informed him, with a gentle peck on the cheek as he reached the top of the steps. "You're 'broken in'."

"You sound just like your mother when you say that." He smiled a wistful smile, and Hope felt her own merriment drift away a little.

"How are you, Daddy?"

"I'm managing, sweetheart." He assured her. "It's not always easy, the house seems empty a lot of the time, but I'm managing. Your sister's been helping a lot."

Inside, Shawna was still trying to talk to Elspeth, adding to Hope's rapidly deflating good mood as she laid the bags down beside the couch where Faith had sat down.

"You didn't tell me you were having such trouble finding clothes, Hope." She turned back to the door where her father stood with a wry smile and shook her head slightly.

"I've... what?"

"Your skirt looks like it might have been too short for you when you were twelve." He explained.

"Oh, leave her dad." Faith brushed him off. "It's a lovely skirt, if I had legs like that I'd wear a skirt like that, too."

"You never dressed like that, but you've managed to secure yourself a nice husband." He pointed out, raising Shawna and Elspeth's eyebrows slightly.

"I didn't have those legs." Faith pointed out, with a shrug. "On the other hand, as I recall, you didn't like the scoop-neck tops I used to wear..."

"They aren't why Simon married you."

"No." she admitted, sharing a smile with Hope. "They are why he talked to me long enough for something to come of it, though."

"I just think she doesn't have to dress like a tart, that's all. Is that so bad?"

"Daddy!" Hope objected, loudly.

"She looks fine, Dad." Faith defended her, and Shawna found herself nodding her agreement too.

"Looks good."

"It wouldn't be so bad," Hope pointed out, "but it probably would have fitted the same way when I was twelve, I've not grown since then."

Marcus and Brianna made their way slowly up the steps to the flat. Both of them were quietly hesitant, although for vastly different reasons. Elspeth's strangely distant mood of the morning had put Brianna on edge, and the cryptic phone call that had summoned her to the flat hadn't helped. Marcus, by contrast, had a pretty good idea of what awaited him, and found himself reluctant to make a fool of himself even though he'd agreed to the plan.

"Marcus!" Shawna's greeting caught his attention as he opened the door, and he froze a little as she bounded across the room to throw herself into his arms, kissing him soundly to Mr Nakata's obvious discomfort and Marcus' slight confusion. "Don't pretend anything!" she whispered in his ear as she hugged him close. "The plan's off, and some stuff's going on with Bri and El, so it's likely to get heavy here, OK."

"OK." He managed as he gently eased her back to the floor, and stepped out of the doorway far enough to allow Brianna in.

"Come on, Bri." Shawna took her hand quietly, and led her through to the kitchen, leaving Marcus alone with Hope and her family.

"Marcus," she introduced him with a smile that he couldn't decipher, "this is my father, and this is my sister Faith, and her daughter Emily."

"Good morning." He managed, politely, nodding to them.

"Marcus, you're the young man with Asperger's?" Mr Nakata asked. Uncertain, Marcus merely nodded.

"See, Dad," Faith looked up from her daughter, "there is hope for Tommy."

"Perhaps." He acknowledged, but there was a hint of a smile. "Well, we won't keep you, young man. It was nice to meet you."

"You too, sir." Marcus managed, and was half-way across the room towards his bedroom when Mr Nakata called to him.

"I think the ladies went into the kitchen." He pointed out.

"I know, but they're having a private discussion." Marcus pointed out. "I'm going to my room."

"Your room?"

"Over there." He pointed, and when there was no further comment he carried on, closing the door behind him as Hope winced.

"Hope? You told me you were moving out of the dormitories to live with a young woman named Shawna..."

"I'll put the kettle on." Shawna offered, quietly, her subdued tone getting Brianna's attention as much as Elspeth's obviously worried expression.

"Does someone want to tell me what's going on here?" she finally asked. Elspeth struggled to find words as Shawna bustled around with the tea-pot. Several times Elspeth tried to start, only to fail and falter.

"I'll leave you two to it." Shawna finally muttered, putting the pot down in the centre of the table and easing herself out the door.

"I'm just disappointed that you didn't feel you could tell me the whole truth, Hope." Mr Nakata was explaining quietly while Hope stared at her feet, avoiding his gaze.

"You would have said 'no', Daddy." She pointed, raising her eyes to meet his. "I'd like to be able to tell you everything, but you don't understand."

"I understand more than you think, Hope," he interrupted. "I see how you dress, see you setting up home with a young man. What will people think?"

"Didn't you used to tell me it didn't matter what people thought, so long as I could hold my head up and not be ashamed of what I'd actually done? 'God knows the truth, and he's the only judge that matters'." she countered, abruptly.