Chapter 38

"Well, I have to say, Elspeth, I'm a little disappointed." Brianna tensed even further over her soup, feeling nails digging into her leg as Elspeth flinched.

"Why?" Elspeth managed a strangled gulp, hunkered down over her bowl.

"Well, Brianna's boyfriend that I met this morning said you were seeing someone, and you've not mentioned him all morning?" she sipped gently at her own soup as Elspeth looked down at her own meal, and gave Brianna a slight smile.

What's that about? Brianna thought, covering her frown with her spoon.

"That wasn't my boyfriend," she pointed out, after a second's thought, "Tony's my brother."

"Really?" the older woman smiled, amused at something, and Brianna's suspicions rose that something was going on.

"Leave them alone, love." Elspeth's dad muttered, favouring them both with an apologetic look, as he finished his bowl. "She's nineteen now, she can have a few secrets from her parents, surely. It's what growing up's about."

"If you say so." Mrs Downing obviously disagreed. "I should think, though, that unless she's ashamed of him she'd be telling us. After all, Lorraine says they've been going out since before Christmas!"

"Lorraine?" Elspeth looked up, surprised. "When did you talk to Lorraine?"

"We didn't, dear, we had to listen to Laura all the way here, telling us all about what she knew." She rolled her eyes, ostentatiously, and another time Brianna might have laughed. Instead, though, she just pushed her spoon around the bowl, staring into the tomato soup, wondering if that were really it — if Elspeth was ashamed not of what she was, but of who she was with.

Private schools and the quality of her clothes told Brianna that Elspeth's family never lacked for money, but it wasn't something they'd talked about much. A few skiing holidays had been mentioned, too, and Brianna hadn't really given them any serious consideration at the time, but she was looking now at the delicate pattern of the plate in the fancy restaurant, and feeling out of place in her denim skirt.

"Would you excuse me for a minute." She smiled, wanly, and headed off to the toilets, feeling tears pricking at the back of her eyes.

"You OK?" Elspeth caught her hand and quickly slid it up to her wrist as it came above the table. Brianna stared at it, glumly, and nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be back in a minute." The toilets, thankfully, were empty, and she stopped in front of the mirror to wet her hands enough to rub her eyes, fighting back the tears. It was a stupid worry, she knew, Elspeth wasn't like that. It was just the tension, and natural fear.

"Brianna?" she spun around as Mrs Downing spoke, not unkindly. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I just... something in my eye." She smiled, forcing it.

"Both eyes?" They both paused, waiting for Brianna to think of something to say. "I..."

"I'd rather she told me, you know."

"What?" The older woman smiled a gentle, forgiving smile. "You know?"

"I suspected for a while. Then this morning... there are some sounds and smells, you know, that just can't be mistaken for anything else."

"Why don't you tell her you know?" Brianna began to get a little angry. "She's tearing herself up worrying about how she's going to tell you."

"Please, dear, calm down. Elspeth's... school did many wonderful things for her, but it also had a tendency to teach the girls to back away from confrontation, not to stand up and say what she thinks. That's still something she needs to learn to do — that's why we agreed to let her go to university so far away from home, after all, to learn to stand on her own feet."

"So this is, like, some weird home-tutor exam to you?" Brianna asked. "Lady, that's... this is her... No, fuck that, this is my life, too. That's my girlfriend out there being a nervous wreck. She doesn't need to learn to stand up for herself, I'll do it for her." She moved to brush past, and Mrs Downing stepped across in front of her.

"Please... imagine if there were something she weren't telling you, how would you feel?"

"Upset." Brianna admitted. "But if I suspected something, I'd ask and clear the air, I wouldn't leave it hanging like this."

"I have asked, Brianna, several times." She pointed out. "I keep dropping 'boyfriend' into the conversation whenever I can, what else can I do? If I say girlfriend — is it, girlfriend I mean?" Brianna nodded, waiting for her to continue. "If I say girlfriend, she won't need to tell me anything, she'll know that I already know... I want to know my little girl can still come and talk to me, even if she has found someone else that's willing to stand up for her." She managed a wary smile. "Strange as it sounds, I am quite pleased that you'd do that for her, you know."

"Yeah, well," Brianna managed, shrugging slightly, "she thinks long and hard about things and doesn't do anything, I do things and probably don't think long enough or hard enough... we balance out."

"Just... until the end of lunch? Please?"

"Alright." Brianna gave in, reluctantly. "But ease off a little? She's trying to build up to this, she wants to tell you, she's just scared that you'll turn your backs on her. I guess that's not going to happen, but..."

"Never. Now, come on, Bob will be wondering where we've gotten to."

"Dad..." Elspeth looked up, putting the spoon down with a rattle as her hands shook.

"That sounds ominous." He smiled, gently, leaning forward a little. "What's on your mind, you've not been yourself today."

"It's... there's something I have to tell you, tell you both, but I think..." She struggled, looking for the right way to phrase it.

"You think I'll react calmer than your mother will?" he chuckled gently. "I can't promise anything, your mother can still surprise me, even now."

"Yeah." Elspeth smiled, wanly. "I think... I think she might — you both might — have gotten the wrong idea from Lorraine's parents."

"About what?"

"About... my boyfriend."

"Well, they've not told us anything, really." He pointed out, reaching out to take her hands, gently, feeling them shake. "You know Laura, she talks for the love of her own voice. All we know is you've been going out with him since before Christmas, that's it."

"Well, see... there's... something in that isn't quite right." Elspeth pulled her hands back, flitting a glance towards the toilets, hoping Brianna was alright.

"You aren't going out with him any more?"

"No, it's not that."

"You weren't going out before Christmas?"

"No, we were..."

"So? What, then?"

"So... it's..." She pressed her eyes closed, clasped at his hands, and gabbled it out. "It'snotahe!"

"What?"

"You heard..." she whispered.

"No, darling, I didn't, you jabbered away. Calm down, whatever happens you're still our daug... Oh, god, you're not pregnant are you?"

"NO!" she flushed scarlet as patrons from the nearby tables turned to look at them. "No!" she added again, leaning forward. "Dad, he... Isn't a he."

"Who isn't?" he looked around, searching for who she'd seen.

"No, Dad... my 'boyfriend' isn't a boyfriend. It's... it's a girlfriend." The silence drew out, and she looked up, seeing Brianna and her mother returning. "Oh, Dad, say something, they're coming back!"

"Is it... um... is it... Brianna?" he turned slightly, watching them return, eyes narrowed.

"Yeah."

"Well... I can... I can see why you'd like her." He admitted, tracing a curvy outline.

"DAD!" she hissed. "Don't... just because I like girls, doesn't mean you've suddenly got a son!"

"What have you been talking about to look like that?" Mrs Downing sat down, looking back and forward at the pair of them. Brianna took her seat, squeezed Elspeth's hand reassuringly and couldn't decide which of them Mrs Downing had been talking about. They both spent a moment earnestly considering their spoons. "Well, I have to say, Elspeth, you choose your friends well." She gestured towards Brianna as the waiter took the soup bowls away. "She wouldn't breathe a word about your romantic relations."

"Yeah... about that..." Elspeth looked up, feeling Brianna's hand settle on her thigh under the table.

"Yes, dear?"

"There's... there's something you probably should know before we go to dinner with the Matthews tonight."

"Go on, Elspeth, you know you can tell us anything, don't you?" She leant forward to make it obvious she was paying attention.

"Well... I wanted you to meet... the person who I've been going out with since before Christmas."

"Are you going to invite them this evening?"

"I need to ask them, but I was going to, yes."

"Well that's nice, do you think they'll come?" Brianna squeezed, gently.

"I think so, yes. But... I wanted you to meet them before... well, before Lorraine's parents, certainly."

"Well, we can go see him this afternoon, surely?"

"I already invited her to lunch." Brianna felt the tension in her leg, and smiled gently to herself as she saw Mr Downing looking just as nervous as the moment drew out.

"There." Mrs Downing leant forward, laying a hand over Elspeth's white knuckles on the table. "Was that so hard to tell me?"

"You knew!" Elspeth's face paled, and Brianna thought for a moment she was going to faint. "But... wh... how... when? Why didn't you say anything?"

"It wasn't my place to interfere like that, dear, you're choosing your own way, that's why you came to university." She smiled. "I didn't know, not until today. I suspected some things, but... Oh, Elspeth, we love you, nothing's going to change that. Especially not if you choose to associate with people like Brianna, she was ready to throw me out on my ear in there." She pointed back towards the toilets. "Now, with that over, calm down for the main course, you don't want to eat while you're agitated, you'll get indegestion."

Elspeth managed a relieved giggle, this time clasping Brianna's hand and pulling it up onto the table top.

"Did you want to go out for dinner, too?" she turned to Brianna, a proud smile flushed with success plastered all over her face.

"Hell, yeah." Brianna nodded. "You and Lorraine have painted quite a picture of her Mum... I can't wait to see what she makes of this."

"What was it you were saying about acting without thinking long and hard?" Mrs Downing asked, and Brianna just shrugged as the meal arrived.

"It's worked for me up until now."

"Why did you have to meet here?" Marcus stepped aside as Tony trundled in through the door, tugging at his jacket to get it to sit right. "It's not even as though any of you live here any more?"

"I know, I know." He shrugged. "Wasn't my idea, though. Lorraine suggested it — she said it was 'central', which shouldn't make much of a difference seeing as we're going by car."

"Could I just leave you to see to everyone?" Marcus asked, frowning. "It'll be..."

"Crowded?" Tony asked, and Marcus could only nod. "Well, probably... I think they'll want to meet you, though, parents are like that."

"They aren't my parents." Marcus pointed out.

"I know, but..." he could only shrug as the door sounded again. Tony opened as Marcus headed for the kitchen, letting Lorraine in.

"Hi." He managed, a little off.

"Hi." Marcus looked back and forth between the two of them and shook his head.

"Conversation is just going to flood out, isn't it?" he observed

"Are Hope and Shawna here?" Lorraine asked, turning away from Tony as he was about to speak, leaving him open mouthed and off-balance as Brianna and Elspeth came up the stairs to the flat.

"Close your mouth, Tony, I've dressed up before."

"You could have pointed out how I'd dressed up, too." Lorraine pointed out, giving them a little twirl.

"Nice." Elspeth remarked, slipping her coat onto the back of a chair. "I thought about dungarees to make an impression on your Mum, but I decided to go for a dress in the end." Brianna nudged her arm, and Marcus disappeared into the kitchen.

"You worried?" Tony asked, looking at the three of them. Brianna and Elspeth shrugged, Lorraine kept quiet.

"Yeah, that's what I figured." He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and stared at Brianna and Elspeth for a moment. "Could you give us a minute?"

"Sure." Brianna said, having got a nod from her girlfriend, and the pair trekked into the kitchen with Marcus.

"So... how did you want to play this?" Tony asked. "Are we... are we working things out, are we just having a little trouble, what?"

"We're... taking a break." Lorraine looked at him, trying to read how he felt about it from his look. "For them, that is."

"For us?"

"There is no 'us', Tony. Not like that."

"Then why did you invite me? Why did you say we'd talk about this later?"

"To keep my mother happy." She shrugged, staring at her feet. "Well, quiet, at least. Were you really sat on my wall waiting to talk to me this morning?"

"Yes." He admitted. "I... I didn't even see it coming, Lo-lo. Just, out of the blue, 'this isn't working, it's over'. I don't know what bit wasn't working, what I could have done..."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!" she looked up at the vehemence in his tone, and he stepped back a little, looking nervous. "Yes, I liked you — I still like you. I want to know what I need to change to make this work... if... that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"You... it's not like you to be up at that time on a Sunday."

"Well, some things are more important than a lie-in."

"It's not normally a lie-in, it's normally a hangover." She pointed out, archly.

"True." He admitted. "I didn't go to the social last night... I figured it must be my night-off by now. Someone else could set up and break the stuff down." They both looked up as someone knocked on the door.

"Shame you couldn't have done that a little more when we were together." She told him, and turned away to the kitchen leaving him to open the door.

"Mr and Mrs Downing." He greeted them, forcing the smile back onto his face.

"Ah, Brianna's brother?" Mrs Downing recognised him. "Tony, right?" He nodded, waving them into the sitting area.

"Tea, anyone?" Brianna poked her head out the kitchen.

"We'd better not." Mr Downing pointed out. "Laura'll find something to complain about if we're not ready to go."

"You'd better put the kettle on, though." Mrs Downing added. "If she decides she wants a cup of tea it'll be better if it's ready."

"Is she someone important?" Marcus asked, leaning on the doorframe as the others all sat down.

"Only in her own mind." Mrs Downing explained, with a smile. "Sorry, Lorraine." She patted the girls leg.

"Then why shouldn't she just accept the situation like everyone else?"

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Mr Downing asked, interrupting the flow.