Chapter 7: A New Home for Cindy

It was almost dark when we pulled through the gates into the subdivision about three miles from the trailer park. There were still a few people out about jogging or finishing up the Saturday honey-dos. Most of the children were inside although there was evidence all around that they had been there. There was a bike in the Smith's yard with the wheel still spinning. There was the portable basketball goal at the end of the Roger's driveway that had sure been the focus of attention in the afternoon. The Brady's little girl Sally had left her doll carriage by the curb only two houses down from my destination. All were evidences of the normalcy of the life that I had left behind only a few weeks ago. I noticed that my grass had been cut, at least in the front, and I was pleased that Jimmy had done as he had promised. I would have to thank him and pay him tomorrow. The neighborhood was home, although for a while without Naomi it had been an almost haunted place for me. A place with too many good memories, memories that kept me in a perpetual funk. I was hoping that Cindy could help me breathe new vigor and spirit into my life and into my home.

Cindy was all eyes as I drove through the neighborhood. It must seem like a strange, almost foreign place to her. Gone were the gravel roads, dirt yards and drab trailers she was used to seeing. In their places were paved streets, manicured lawns and large single-story brick homes. The homes, although modern, appeared warm and lived-in. Although the subdivision was relatively new, there were flower beds, palm and magnolia trees. It was obvious that the people that lived here took pride in their homes and had the means to take care of them. As I pulled into the driveway, I flipped down the visor and hit the button for the garage door opener. As I was about to enter the garage with the car Kevin, my next-door neighbor, waved at us. I stopped as he walked over to the car.

Kevin, was a Corrections Officer in the larger county to the east. He was warm and friendly and liked to keep tabs on everything that was going on in the neighborhood. His one fault, the only one that I knew of, was that he considered himself to be a bit more of a wit than his personality could handle. He had been a good friend though, good enough that I went along with his banter a bit more than was called for.

Kevin's first words were, "Jim, good to see you buddy. I see you have finally come back to make sure the place didn't burn down. Say, who is this pretty girl with you? Kinda young for you, isn't she?"

"Kevin this is Cindy, a very good friend of mine. She will be staying with me for a while. It is too long a story to go into tonight"

Then I said. "Cindy, this is Kevin, my friend and next door neighbor. Kevin is a police officer and a comic-in-training so you have to be on your toes to know when to take him seriously."

"Kevin, I have had a long day. I need to get inside and see to things before it gets too late. Hopefully we can talk tomorrow, if you have some spare time."

Kevin indicated that he had to work tomorrow but would be back by early evening so maybe we could get together for a beer or two. He apologized to Cindy for his earlier comment about her being too young for me and left. We closed the garage door and I unlocked the door to the house and entered the code on the keypad of the alarm to shut off the security system. We then each grabbed a handful of bags and headed into the house. Cindy followed me as I went through the laundry room into a long hallway and back to a bedroom in the opposite side of the house. My house was large. You could probably put the whole trailer that I had been living at into the great room and kitchen of this house. Naomi and I had always talked of getting something smaller but we had spread out and become comfortable in our home and decided against it.

I led Cindy back to a large bedroom and laid her clothes on the double bed there. After she sat her bags down, I went around and opened a few of the drawers on the dressers and the door of the closet so she could get an idea of where to put her clothes. She looked up at me and weakly smiled. "Jim, I thought I was going to sleep with you, in your bed."

I smiled at her, sat down in a chair at the desk, and said, "Even if you sleep in my bed, you still have to have a place to store all those pretty new clothes. You also need a place of your own, where you can have some peace and privacy. Everyone needs a place like that."

She sat in my lap and put her arms around me and laid her head on my chest. In that moment, I felt like this house was a home again. I have always thought that home was not a place, but rather a feeling, and in that instance I could tell you my home, our home, was both. I also knew that no matter about our ages, no matter about other differences, no matter about any difficulties, Cindy and I were a family. It felt right. I was the happiest I had been since, well, since first thing this morning in the kitchen of the trailer when Cindy had first told me that she loved me.

I said, "Cindy, from now on this is our home. Mi casa, su casa, comprende'?" Smiling at her I was ready to explain it, but she said was "Si, Signor," and smiled up at me with her million-watt smile. I found out later that she had already taken a year of Spanish in middle school.

I told her to put the bags on the bed and took her hand to give her the quick tour of her new home. We walked out into the hallway and I pointed out the bathroom outside of her door. I explained to her that it was the guest bathroom and that she could use my bathroom so that the guest bathroom would always be clean for company. Across the hallway was another bedroom that was filled with boxes. There were a few of Naomi's things in here that none of the girls had wanted but that I was not ready to give to Goodwill yet. Mostly the items were storage stuff that every home has no real use for except at certain times of the year. I had found one of the spare bedrooms to be much better than the attic for such storage.

Next to that bedroom was another bedroom. This bedroom was set up as my home gym and had my exercise equipment. I had a treadmill and a Bowflex that I had used regularly until I had moved out to the trailer. There were also a couple of items of furniture here that Naomi had put here for some unknown reason and although they would have gone better in the storage bedroom I hadn't felt like moving them. In fact I hadn't felt like changing anything from the way Naomi had arranged it because I felt like doing it moved her further out of my life.

Cindy seemed excited about the exercise equipment and I promised to show her how they worked and help her get started on them if she wanted to. I told her that the equipment was really more for older people who were not as active as she was. She laughed and said, "Jim, you keep trying to tell me that you are old but I've had a hard time keeping up with you today."

I told her that there was something about having a pretty girl around that makes a man suck in his gut and do far more than he ever thought he wanted to do. I also told her that she could look at my pill bottles and tell how old I really was. She frowned a bit, not really understanding what I meant.

We moved on into the great room and she found the TV on her own. She was disappointed when there was nothing but static. I explained that when I had moved to the trailer park I had had the cable disconnected because there was no point in paying two bills for cable. I promised her that I would get it set back up on Monday. Meantime I showed her where my DVDs and VHS tapes were stored. I had many movies and documentaries. She was excited when she looked and saw many fairly new titles that she had never had a chance to see.

While she was looking at the DVDs, I turned on the back outside light. As soon as all the lights went on she dropped the DVD she was looking at and ran to the back door and looked out. She then squealed joyfully and asked, "Can we go swimming in there?"

When I nodded my head yes, she asked, "Can we go swimming tonight?" Her eyes were pleading with me and at that moment she looked more like an eight year-old than a teen.

I explained to her that I hadn't checked the chemicals in almost two weeks but that 'if' the chemical test strip said the pool was safe to use that we could swim tonight. I also told her that if the pool was not safe, most likely we could swim tomorrow. She then wanted me to check right then to see if we could swim tonight. I said that I would after I had showed her the rest of the house.

The remainder of the tour was more sedate. I showed her my office, with my desk and book shelves lining the wall. She was interested in many of the books and was especially interested in those travel books and books on archaeology that I treasured most. I told her that as long as she treated the books with respect, she was welcome to read anything in the house.

I then pointed out the formal dining room and the kitchen. I showed her the pantry and opened the refrigerator and told her it looked like since there was nothing but condiments in the old ice box that it was pizza again tonight. She laughed and said she could eat pizza every night.

Then expecting to feel apprehension, I took her into the master bedroom. I expected to feel the tightening of my gut that I always have when I feel guilty or when I know something is bad wrong. I expected it because other than my daughters, no other woman had been in this room since Naomi had died. I had assisted my daughters in moving most of Naomi's things out of this room. They had taken the keepsakes and special items Naomi had promised to each of them and put most of the other items into the storage bedroom. Still, Naomi had been here. It had been her room more than mine, especially towards the end. We had spent so many nights together in this room. I was expecting to feel unfaithful, having Cindy here in Naomi's place but when all was said and done, I felt none of that. I felt a feeling of warmth come over me. I can't explain it but at that moment, I felt that Naomi approved of everything.