Part 4

About 3 months ago something happened. I didn't know the firm I worked for had a man whose job was surfing the internet to find possible opportunities of work for the firm. I worked in corporate law and this came under our domestic law section. One of the sites he searched was one where people put in private "want ads", in the hope of locating lost family relatives, runaway children etc. I once saw an ad for this site in the newspaper, but I had forgotten all about it. He called me and told me he was emailing me an internet page that I should be interested in.

It was a "want ad", with my name, my age, my previous addresses and an old photo of me - age about 16 or 17. In the details line it said: "Father died. Please contact home."

The ad carried the date of three days ago and also listed the phone number, the number I still remembered, and an email address seemingly of my brother John.

I was very disturbed. Why do they suddenly want me? I was trying to forget, I've had tough talks with Sarah about it, and now this. She kept bringing it up every few months so I really couldn't forget it, I was only fooling myself. I could not concentrate on work any more that day, so I printed the ad (I don't know why) and went home.

When I arrived home early Sarah immediately noticed that I was upset.

"What happened? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Something at work."

"Come on, I know you a little better than that. Tell me what it is."

I took the printout from my attach? case and gave it to her.

"You must call. This looks like a call for help!"

"NO! I don't want anything to do with them."

"Bob, your mother must need you now. Please call her."

"Don't you get it, Sarah? The last time I saw her she was fucking a bunch of guys. I'll never be able to face her. How can I?"

"All right. Why don't you take a couple of aspirin, lie down in the bedroom and try to get some rest. I see that I'll have to do some things myself as you are a stubborn jackass."

As I soon found out, I missed the meaning of her comment.

I took the aspirin and went to the bedroom to lay down and close my eyes, maybe things would just go away. Remembering something I needed at the office I lifted the phone extension and heard a phone ringing, a number Sarah dialed downstairs.

"Sarah, I need the phone for a minute."

"You'll have to wait now. You can listen in on my call, but don't you dare interfere."

The receiver at the other end was lifted. "Dawlish residence, John speaking."

"Mr. Dawlish, this is Sarah Dawlish speaking. Bob's wife. You placed a "want ad" on the internet looking for Bob. A friend brought it to our attention, but Bob is unable to speak to you just now. Can you tell me why you placed this ad?"

I heard a shout next to the phone at the other end: "MOM! It's Bob's wife! They saw the internet ad!"

"Give it to me. I want to speak to them."

After a few seconds I heard my mother's voice. "This is Judy Dawlish. Who is speaking, please?"

"This is Sarah Dawlish, Bob's wife. A friend was on the internet and found this ad about Bob. We'd like to know why you placed it."

I heard mother crying, and trying to speak at the same time.

"How is Bob? What is he doing? You are his wife - how long has he been married? Why doesn't Bob speak himself?"

"Mrs. Dawlish, I understand you have many questions after not seeing Bob for 10 years. Just slow down and I'll try to answer them. Bob is fine. He graduated from Harvard law school seven years ago and is a partner in a large law firm. We met at law school and got married about six and a half years ago and we now have two kids. Bob is unable to speak to you because of a mental block and some pure stubbornness. I've been trying to get him to call you for years, but I can't seem to get even the slightest move on his part. As I mentioned, he is slightly stubborn."

"Why? Does he hate me? If he told you about our family, you know as well as I do that he has a good reason for hating his family, but the main reason for the way he was treated is now gone and I would like very much to meet him and explain."

"Mrs. Dawlish, Bob told me a lot about the way he grew up, and he also told me in great detail about the last time he saw the family. This last time he saw you is the main reason he cannot bring himself to speak to you. It is not my place to criticize but I can understand his feelings, although I've been trying to have him call you for years now."

"Look, Ummm... Sarah? Bob's father died a few days ago and the funeral is set for tomorrow. I'd like Bob to come and be with us at the funeral, and then be with us for a few days. We must clear the air in the family. These ten years without knowing where Bob is and what happened to him have been torture for me. More of a torture than what his father has put me through. Please, I need an answer."

"Bob, are you with us?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, I am. Mother, if I come to the funeral it will be for one purpose only. I will piss on his grave in front of everybody, and I know there will probably be many people there. So you'd better save the family this embarrassment and get off the idea of me coming to the funeral. As for talking about all the other things - after what I saw the last time I was home and understanding how much I was shut out from the family, I do not have any wish to see any of you again. Not ever."

John came on the line from another extension: "Bob, don't come to the funeral, but please come the day after. We must speak. The whole family wants to speak to you. You owe us at least..."

"I DON'T OWE YOU A GODDAMN THING!" I shouted. "All of you together owe me 20 years of anguish and hatred, and then you owe me 10 more years of bad memories and torment!"

"Sarah, please hang up right now!" I ordered, and slammed the phone down.

Sarah did not hang up. She later told me she gave them our address, asking that only one of them come here, and that one should be one of my sisters. She explained this by saying that I could not face my mother as I was still very angry at her. John sounded too aggressive on the phone and that made me very angry.

I was very angry with Sarah for arranging this, but now she became the stubborn one, telling me this feud between me and my family should end, and that she cannot tolerate having this tension around us all the time.

Two weeks later, my younger sister Julie arrived for the weekend. When she tried to hug me I pushed her away, still seeing her at the family orgy that changed my life.

"Such hatred after ten years?" she asked.

"Julie, don't expect any love from me. I won't say in front of my kids what was the last picture I saw of you and the rest of the family. I cannot love any of you and this should be clear to everybody in the family."

Sarah invited Julie in, and introduced herself and the children. She introduced Julie to the kids as Aunt Julie. Rather than ranting in front of the children, I excused myself and went into my bedroom to cool off. I had to relax and lower the tension.

In the meantime Sarah talked with Julie. She repeated everything I told her about the way I grew up until the last day and then asked Julie: "Do you really think he can forgive easily just because you want him to? Do you know that when we started dating, he insisted on having sex with me at a very early stage, not because of the usual reasons - but because of the memories of his old girlfriend? Can you imagine how much his soul is still hurting? It doesn't go away! Every time something reminds him of the family or of his childhood he is hurting! I am living with wonderful a man who sometimes starts crying in his sleep because of the way he was treated by his own family!"

Both women were crying now. Sarah was a strong woman and the only time I've seen her cry was when I told her about my family.

I came down and sat on the couch, putting my arm around Sarah.

"This is my problem and my trouble. All along I didn't want to involve you and now you are as upset as I am. I've been hurt enough in my life and now I'm hurting again because I have to see you cry."

"I wish you had not come, Julie, but my darling acted behind my back a little. So, now, what is it you want?"

"First I want to give you Mom's personal story, which will explain why Dad treated you the way he did and how the rest of it started. But are you sure Sarah has to hear it all?"

"Don't you doubt that for one second! Sarah is my full partner in life - a partner I did not have from the day I was born to the day I married her. She knows everything I've been through and if you think there is anything you don't want her to know then don't tell it to me either!"

"OK. Here goes. When Mom and Dad were married about three years, Dad had to go out of the country for three months on business. During that time, Mom has let someone seduce her just once. This once was enough - you are the result. Dad was not your real father. Dad counted backwards from when you were born and that you were conceived while he was out of the country. This is the reason Dad did not treat you like he did us other kids. He decided not to divorce Mom, but to have his revenge. At about the same time he found out that Mom was a submissive woman. He found it out simply by shouting at her and seeing her reaction. For a long while none of us knew it, and later we found out - we didn't tell you. Why, I don't know. Even today, if you give mother a direct order and do it firmly - she becomes meek and carries it out without any argument. The only people who used this were Dad and another person I will not name. Dad then carried out his revenge on Mom for her transgression. By the way, she was seduced by a man who figured out her submissiveness and used it to seduce her also."

"Let me get us some drinks" interrupted Sarah. "Don't say a word until I get back."

When Sarah came with the drinks I suggested we go out on the balcony as I wanted to smoke. Smoking was a habit I succeeded in stopping, but when I am very agitated or angry I still smoke a few cigarettes - but never inside the house. For this ugly habit I had an ash tray on the balcony. Sarah gave me a killer look but did not say a word and we went out. She doesn't like my smoking at all.

Julie continued. "Dad's revenge started exclusively on Mom at first, and then he had us all get involved. All, but you. First he made her have sex with Uncle Harold, his brother. Then he brought in a few friends - all people we knew. You knew them too. He started having those orgies, at the beginning with Mom as the only woman, making them actually gangbangs. Due to her submissiveness and the orders he gave her, Mom actually felt as if she was enjoying the whole thing. I am the result of one of the first gangbangs. Dad is not my real father either. I hope this comforts you a little."

"Anyway, when Tracy became 14, Dad forced her to join in, again with the purpose of revenge on Mom. He forced Tracy to join with the simple threat that he will kick her out and disown her if she refused. As a 14 year old, she did not have much choice. He raped her, she was a virgin, and then handed her to his brother - Uncle Harold. After she was "conditioned", and being a teenager who was always horny, she started enjoying the sex and became a real slut, joining the orgies willingly. The same process (apart from the rape) was applied to John when he became 14, and later to me. Fortunately, I was not a virgin by age 14. I had a steady boyfriend with whom I had sex regularly."

"Among the people you saw when you caught us was our family doctor, who was a swinger with his wife and was convinced he was invited to another swinging family. You also saw our neighbors the Carpenters who were also swingers. Dad also brought Paul, who then brought his two kids - Janet and Frank. Paul was Dad's friend from school, and Dad knew he had incestuous relations with Janet. Later it turned out she was also fucking her brother and quite a few other guys - all adults over 30. This just about formed the regular group. From time to time Dad contacted a local swingers club and invited more people to our orgies."

Julie then lit up a cigarette of her own, and for a few minutes seemed to be lost in thoughts.

"Look, we were all forced into this situation, but we were teenagers then. Teenagers are horny. So I cannot say we did not enjoy the sex. We considered it a lot of fun, not thinking of the consequences. Fact is - we enjoyed it. When Dad saw how much we enjoyed it he decided not to let you in on the fun - he did not want to give you anything you may have enjoyed. But despite it, we grew up and all of us got married. However, not all of us were successful in our marriages though. Tracy is now married for the third time. I told you before that she became a slut and has remained such. Her two previous marriages broke up because she was cheating on her husbands. John has a good marriage, but it's a little on the rocks. John wants to be dominant like Dad was, but his wife is very far from being submissive. So, unless he lowers his tone a little he will lose his wife, and this will be a loss for all of us because she is a wonderful woman.

I've married well. My husband was my boyfriend in high school. He knows all the family history and I even brought him to a few of our orgies after I made sure he will not be hurt and that I would not have lost him. We love each other a lot and he supports me all the time. You are not the only one with a supportive wife. I'm very lucky to have such a supportive husband."

She lit another cigarette and thought for a little while.

"You were hurt for many reasons. You were hurt by Dad's attitude, and then when we kids joined the family activities we told were to hide it from you. There became a distance between us, and only much later did we know that you felt it, without knowing or understanding why it happened. Then you were hurt when you came home and saw the orgy. I believe, from the note you left behind, that when you saw the orgy you understood a lot of what happened in the past. It was clear that you caught on to the "house sitting" thing which was only in order to get you out of the house one weekend each month. By the way - once a month it was at our home, once a month at Uncle Harold's and once a month at Paul's. One week each month was for some real resting."

"Anyway, once us kids started getting married there were less and less orgies, although we had stopped for a few weeks after you caught us. Mom broke down then and was hospitalized for about six weeks. Dad was real happy when she broke down. His revenge was working well and he was enjoying the effect. Tracy, John and I felt very bad. You saw all of us behaving like - you probably thought like whores - and we suddenly realized how much we've hurt you. The way you left without any means of communication left us crying for quite a few days. The sudden realization of what we caused you hit us bad. But then, Dad insisted we get back to "normal life" and continue the orgies and all. He did not feel even a slight remorse from your finding us out and leaving. I believe he has hated you until the day he died.

The situation today is such: We are all living near Mom. I don't know why - but she is mourning Dad. After all he did to her and to us - she still mourns him. The only other thing on her mind is you.

Tracy is fine mentally, but if she does not start controlling herself she will lose her third husband. She is fucking everything that has a cock, including their dog.

John must control his dominating nature, which he probably inherited from Dad; otherwise he will lose his wife. Brenda is a wonderful woman and we will all lose if she decides to leave him.

As I said, I'm a very lucky woman regarding my marriage, and as I can well see - so are you.

One last item that may interest you is Janet. You may bless God, or any other thing you believe in for getting rid of that bitch. As I mentioned before she was fucking her father, her brother and many others while being your girlfriend. We know she did not let you have sex with her and we know why. She wanted to marry you for the family money only. She intended to cuckold you from the day you two got married, letting you have sex with her on the wedding night and then shutting you out of the bedroom while bringing in lovers. She figured you were a wimp and would have loved to torture you with her behavior. She told us about that in one of her non-orgy visits and laughed. It was so horrifying that even Dad became disgusted with her (not for doing it to you, but for doing it to a man. Any man). The night you caught us was the last time we had her over.

That's about the whole story. If you want to ask questions - ask. If you want me to leave - I'll leave. Let me just tell you that I'm sooo happy to see you, and to see what a wonderful family you have. I was acting tough while talking, but I'm about to break down. Please hug me! I missed you so much!"

I couldn't hold back any more. My tears burst out and crying like a baby I held my arms out and we came into each other's arms crying. Sarah was sitting on the side, tears running down her face too.

"Mommy, why is everyone crying?" Came a child's voice. Joel and Mary had come out to the balcony.

We all started clearing our noses noisily. "We are all very happy because Dad got to meet Aunt Julie after a very, very long time, and because we may also soon meet yet another aunt, an uncle and a grandmother we have never met before." Sarah explained.

"Why did we not meet them, and why are you crying if you are happy?"

"Well, Joel, sometimes when people are extraordinarily happy they cry. And meeting sisters, brothers and maybe even your Dad's mother is that kind of an occasion. They did not meet for a long time because they quarreled, and now it's time to make peace."

Julie and I dried our faces, sat down and poured drinks.

Little Mary approached Julie tentatively: "Aunt Julie, are you really happy that you met our Dad?"

Julie almost started crying again. "Yes, dear. I'm very happy because I missed him a lot and now we can be together again."

"Do you love our Daddy?"

"Yes, sweet. I love him very much. I did not know how much I loved him until just a few minutes ago, and my heart is bursting with love for him, and for your Mom, and for you and your brother."

"OK, if you love us so much then we love you too. Right, Joel?"

"Right". Agreed my son, and they both approached Julie and kissed her cheeks.

"Now, children, go back inside and get ready for bed. I'll come and tuck you in a little bit."

We all got our good night kisses, and then I had a few questions for Julie. Sarah, of course, went with the kids having us promise to wait until she returned.

"God, Bobby, (I wasn't called that since I was a little kid). You have such a wonderful family. Look what the old son of a bitch made us miss. I have not mentioned it yet, but we hope you'll come with all your family to see Mom. Apart from Dad you are the only thing she speaks about. We put the ad on the internet the day after Dad died - at her request to find you. By the way, when you told her that if you came you would piss on Dad's grave, it was the first time she agreed that Dad deserved that."