Part 1

Hi. I'm Robert (Bob) Dawlish, a 30 year old lawyer and junior partner in a well established law firm in New Jersey. My wife, Sarah is 29, and we have two young kids - Joel, 5 and half years old and Mary - 4 years old.

My story does not concern my present family until almost the end. It is about the family I was born into. Up until I was 20 I always felt something was different about the way my family treated me, but I could not pinpoint what it was. When I was 20 the whole story blew up in my face and for a long while after made me wish I was never born.

My family, at the time, consisted of my parents - Steve, 42, and Judith, 41. I had two sisters and a brother - Tracy; at the time was 22, John - 19, and Julie - 17.

We lived in Denver, Colorado where my Dad owned one of the largest car dealerships in town and we were considered a wealthy family.

Even as a young kid I noticed that my father did not treat me the way he treated my brother and sisters. It was almost as if I did not exist for him. The rest of the family was normal. Mom loved me and showed it too. Sometimes it looked as if she was trying to compensate for the way Dad treated me.

When I became 15, some changes began to appear. It seems that whenever I walked into a room with family members talking - the conversation would stop. I began to receive looks that could only mean that I was disturbing something, but I never knew what. At the beginning I thought I saw pain in my brother and sister's eyes, but slowly it became total indifference. Finally, they stopped caring about me at all. Mom still showed love, but she also behaved very strange, pained as if she was forced into something she did not want to do.

Another strange thing was that my brother and sisters (first only Tracy, and then about two years later also Julie), began to care less about the way they were dressed at home. They all wore very light and very revealing cloths, no matter who was home.

Then, from the day I turned 15 on until I left home - I had a new chore. Every last weekend of the month I was sent to "house-sit" at my Uncle Harold's house that was just three blocks away from our home. I was told that every last weekend of a month my uncle had to go traveling and he was afraid someone would break into his house.

At age 18, just before I started college, I started dating a lovely girl, Janet, a year younger than me. We only met when I got home on Holidays and vacations. We were deeply in love and planned to get married as soon as I finished my studies and got a job. However, we never fucked. We made out, I only got to finger fucking her and she used to jack me off or suck me off. But we never fucked.

Well, time flew and I was 20 and finishing the second year of studying law at UCLA, in Los Angles, California, I told the family I'll be coming home on the first Monday of the summer vacation. However, someone at school showed me a special deal offered by the airlines which gave me tickets at a much lower price - but the deal was for Saturday - two days before my announced arrival home. I decided to surprise my family and not let them know of my new arrival time. I have regretted this decision until today.