Chapter 2

Greed was in the heart of one, relief in that of another, a nameless foreboding in that of poor Mr Bottomley - and joy unconfined in that of the infatuated Dorothy as the purchase was agreed.

"We'd like to complete the transaction as soon as possible" said that long-suffering tycoon, Mr Fred Bottomley, as his wife scurried off on her continuing tour of inspection, uttering frenzied whoops of amazed delight at all-too frequent intervals. "As you can see, the little woman's really taken with the place!"

"Not such a little woman!" Mr Hanspacker thought somewhat wryly, although he was far too much of a gentleman to give voice to such an uncharitable opinion, no matter how emphatically and corporeally it might be justified!

"Well, I wish you both joy of the old place!" He paused and then continued. "I don't want to find myself told at some future point that I have sold you a pig in a poke. I must issue a bit of a caveat."

A few seconds passed. Mr Hanspacker seemed to be choosing his words carefully, as of one whom that most unwelcome of imports from the USA, the ambulance chasing Compensation Culture, had already burnt severely.

"There are people in the town who say, very sincerely and fearfully, that this place is haunted by the shade of the Eleventh Earl, whose financial ruin over one hundred years ago caused the castle to be sold after his death to pay off his enormous and gambling related debts. They also say there is a curse on all who presume to lord it over his ancestral home - that he will pursue such people without mercy and with appalling fury up to and even beyond the grave Not only that, but one day the family will return to claim their inheritance to the utter ruin of any usurper - fat chance of that!"

"Fat chance?" asked Fred, interested at this.

"Yeah. Not the ghost of a chance. "

Mr Hanpacker laughed, his chubby rubicund face creased with smiles...

"The present Earl has a cottage on the edge of the Castle grounds. It's all that remains of his family's once mighty landholdings, but I don't he's around these parts a lot - not since his father died and he inherited what little was left of the family fortune. I can't say I've ever set eyes on him, or any one else I know. He's some kind of intellectual - I heard he's a writer of highly scholastic tomes, the like of which would send you and me to sleep in seconds - and spends most of his time in London hanging out with the literary and intellectual set there. I have an idea he lectures at the University from time to time on some dreary specialised subject or other. Highly respected, I believe, in his field - whatever that might be! Most unlikely he'd want to come and bury himself here, even if, by some miracle, he could afford to buy the place back!"

Fred Bottomley shook his head and smiled wearily. When he finally spoke, the sad and bitter experience of many years could be seen to have infiltrated his morose tones, giving them a deadening and soul searing hopelessness.

"Ah! But what if the man had a wife, though! Some social climber attracted by his title maybe. Now SHE, if she set her mind to it, might take it into her head that she wanted to come here and play the role of the great feudal lady. Yes! She might very easily change the poor scholarly old Earl's mind for him and drag him back to his ancestral home. Wives are very good at getting their own way! I know - I have one of my own, bless her heart!"

Hanspacker laughed in a genial manner. As a relieved widower, he could see in the buyer's predicament all the arguments he needed to justify keeping a firm hold on that continuing and very precious freedom which he had so mercifully regained (Not that he didn't every now again miss and perfunctorily lament the late Mrs Hanspacker! But not so far as to wish for a replacement!)

"Well, it would need to be a very rich wife that the good Earl found for himself! You know what I'm asking for the place - it's hardly peanuts! And even if, by some miraculous intervention of one of the holy saints, he did raise the necessary, your little lady's not about to be selling - no matter how handsome the offer!"

Fred agreed with a sigh. The 'little woman's' infatuation with this menacing and rambling hilltop eyrie was something he would have to live with, but he wasn't going to enjoy it - not one little bit! He looked around and shivered again, despite the warmth of a typically English summer's day. There was definitely some kind of brooding presence about the Castle. He was a down to earth materialist to his finger tips and as un-superstitious as they come, but this place really got to him.

The dear wife came running back to them as they spoke and the ever obedient Fred leant his well belaboured ear to be near her darkly moustachioed mouth as it spoke out its latest enthusiasm.

"Oh! Fred!!! There's this adorable great hall with a parquet floor! Just think about the grand balls that must have been held there in times past! I just want to see that floor shining so that I can see my face in it! At present it's a rather sorry sight, but a bit of elbow grease will have it sparkling like new in no time!

I won't rest until that day! You WILL agree to buy this heavenly place, won't you, my little treasure?"

Both men wilted under the impact of the good lady's frenetic enthusiasm. There was no way that the poor henpecked Fred - a Captain of Industry and Commerce at work, but a cowering slave at home, could resist his wife. The deal was done, there and then.

Lawyers were instructed and conveyances signed. Money (a lot of money!) changed hands. A couple of weeks later, Mrs Bottomley was able to set about installing herself into her new home - queening it over her new domain. Fed followed meekly in her wake on the initial tour of inspection. He prayed his humble thanks to the Almighty and Omnipotent God, who made us, watches over and will one day judge us all, that important work would force him to stay in London for most of the time, thus keeping him away from this sinister and menacing white elephant of a home.

It was an absolute categorical imperative that he not come down to this place permanently if he were to continue to run his business properly and pay for his dear wife's ever more expensive tastes. To his relief, the lady readily agreed with him - on this! She was privately longing to take possession and order the place to her own satisfaction. The weekends would be quite enough for her as far as her husband's company was concerned!