Chapter 5

My quick phone call had been to Maggie. I wanted to make sure that she was home before making the trip. All I had with me was the manila folder with her pictures in it. I'd found the well organized archive of negatives that Dave kept in file cabinets along one side of the darkroom he'd built in the basement, so even if Maggie went into a rage and tried to destroy these photos I could always make more.

"Hello Maggie! You're looking wonderful today," I said as I gave her a big hug. Like Beverly, Maggie was a well toned woman with good looks and a great figure (i.e. large bust, toned arms, legs and abs, all on a relatively petite frame). She had taken good care of herself and it was easy to see where Lynn came by her beauty.

"I'm good Mark. What brings you here this morning?"

"Oh, a few things Maggie. Let's sit on the sofa and talk for a while," I suggested while leading her by the hand.

She seemed pleased with the hug and my holding her hand. When I sat down on the sofa I decided to go for the big plunge. I dropped the envelope on the side table and pulled Maggie onto my lap wrapping my arms around her.

"I need to talk with you about what happened with you and Dave. I've never heard you speak a negative word about the man and though he divorced you he also never spoke ill of you. Even Beverly has nothing but nice things to say about you. What happened?"

Maggie was sitting sideways in my lap enfolded in my arms with our faces not to far apart. She gazed for a few moments at her hands folded together in her lap before responding.

"I made a really bad decision. I used to work for American Airlines at the airport in St. Louis. I was offered this 'once in a lifetime' job opportunity by a handsome man who seemed very genuine and kind. The man constantly traveled from Chicago to St. Louis on business and every time he'd see me he would take the time to chat me up as long as there was time before his flight. He soon learned that I was pretty good at drawing and painting and still took art classes from time to time.

"He asked to see some of my work and told me when he'd be back in town. I brought some of my artwork with me to work and showed it to him the next time I saw him. He asked if he could take two of my pieces with him back to Chicago to show his boss. The next time I saw him he said that the advertising agency he worked for wanted to hire me to do their artwork but that the opening was in their Chicago office.

"I told him no on several occasions Mark, but each time he'd see me he would tell me more about this fabulous position and he talked both me and the position up so much that it really did seem like a once in a lifetime chance.

"When I told Dave about the position, he seemed leery and wanted to know how all of this had come about. I told him that it came through harmless chit chat with one of the airlines frequent passengers. Dave had just finished his second tour in the marines and had secured a position with the St. Louis police. He begged me not to go to Chicago. He pleaded with me to keep our family together and not leave him or take his little girl away from him. He said that if I moved it would show I had very little respect for him, his wishes, or his opinions and that it would certainly end in divorce.

"I didn't listen to him Mark. I did at first, but each time Mr. Saunders would tell me more about the job the more attractive it all seemed. I kept telling Dave that we could work it out — that once I'd made a name for myself at the firm I was certain I'd be able to move my position to their St. Louis office."

Maggie began to sob. Her whole body was wrenched back and forth in her anguish for several minutes before she could continue.

"I threw away a marvelous relationship with a wonderful caring man for a chance to draw for an advertising agency. When it came down to it the content and style of every drawing was dictated by someone else to the point where it wasn't at all the fun I was sure I could expect and being away from Dave I was terribly lonely and made me quite an easy mark for the men in the office to prey upon. I'm lucky I didn't get pregnant or catch something dreadful during my affairs.

"Then Dave flew up to visit me. He'd brought me flowers, took me to dinner, and then brought me back to my apartment. When we were sitting on the sofa he looked me in the eyes and asked me if I'd been sleeping with other men. I don't know how he knew — but I could never lie to him Mark! I told him the truth and I saw something in his eyes, the warm glow that had always been there each time he looked at me, I saw it fade away and a terrible empty look took its place! I've seen that haunted look on his face in my dreams hundreds of times through the years!

"He was right — but it broke his heart to find out. I hadn't shown him the respect he deserved! I hadn't given him myself completely. I'd let other men have my body in ways I'd never given Dave — and it was all for a few moments pleasure because I couldn't stand to be lonely but was too bull headed to go back to the man I loved. I saw that love leave his eyes Mark! I haven't been with another man since.

"A few weeks after he went back to St. Louis I received the divorce papers. I didn't contest it and was quite surprised when the judge awarded me custody of Lynn. Then, each summer when Dave flew up to Chicago to get Lynn, I'd see his face again and those eyes that once held such love for me and the sense of loss would haunt me so much that I often thought of killing myself — but then there was Lynn.

"Lynn found it in her heart to love both of us so unselfishly and so completely. She would tell me how nice Beverly was to her and how much she enjoyed being with her father. For the first few weeks of each school year I'd hear my little girl crying herself to sleep at night, crying for the father she missed and I realized that I'd hurt her terribly and that though Dave had found another woman to love, he must miss Lynn terribly as well.

"I decided it was time that I do what I could for Dave. I would do everything I could to make him happy; but at that point I could only do it from a distance. I called him and asked if he would like it if Lynn lived with him during the school year and visited me for three weeks in the summer and every other Christmas. He sounded so happy Mark! Then I asked him if I could be allowed to come down and visit Lynn periodically and he told me that I could see her anytime I wanted.

"After Lynn moved in with them I would come to visit whenever I could. I'd see Lynn about ten times a year and each time I came down Dave and Beverly would offer to put me up in their guest room so I didn't have to spend money on a hotel. The first few years I could never accept their hospitality but when I finally did I learned that they really didn't hate me. I'd lost Dave's love and trust with my selfishness. When I let Lynn move in with him and still came to see her as often as I could, I think that I regained some of his trust and a little respect. Over time I became friends with Beverly and finally even Dave again. He only felt for me the things that good friends do; but that was so much better than I thought I deserved.