Chapter 17: A Bad Solution

(Shirley)

I think Jim was astonished that I actually agreed with him. I've gotten to know him well enough, though, that I knew he expected me to disagree with him. After all, why make that little speech if he wasn't expecting to have a discussion about it?

One other thing I knew is that Jim is always prepared when he has these sorts of discussions. It isn't that he's obstinate or unwilling to listen to anybody else, but he's already anticipated what you might say, and is ready to shoot holes in your argument. He probably was the president of the debating team in college.

That isn't to say that arguing with Jim is fruitless. On many subjects where Jim and I disagree on something we simply talk and work things out. He listens and admits when he's wrong or that he's made some incorrect assumptions. But he doesn't simply let me win arguments, either.

This evening, however, after Jim made that non-alcoholic sangria punch, I knew there was something bothering him. For a moment, I thought he was going to press me about my past, but when he explained what was bothering him, I found it was the same thing that he told me was bothering him recently. He felt a lot of guilt about hypnotizing Wendy and me.

Jim explained his apprehensions very succinctly. He wanted me as an equal partner, and him having hypnotic control over me could never make us equals. It made perfect sense, actually, although I never thought of it that way until he mentioned it.

When he said that he wanted us to discuss the orders he gave me, deciding which ones we wanted to keep, I wondered if I wanted to do something as drastic as he was suggesting. Yet, Jim seemed quite certain that this was needed to put our relationship back on an equal footing between the two of us.

After Jim explained the issue, I was ready to immediately disagree. I could see from the look in Jim's eyes that he expected that as well. However, the explanation he gave me made perfect sense. It went without saying that we should be equals in our relationship, and it also followed that him having control over me made our relationship less equal. As I mentioned, I never really thought of it that way until he brought it up.

I guess there has always been part of me in the back of my mind that worried that Jim might abuse his control over me, but I thought that people could not be made to do things under hypnotism that they would not otherwise do. Isn't that true? I mean, until Jim put me under, I never really had any real experience with hypnotism other than seeing movies or T.V. shows. Of course, there was Wendy's experience with Dr. Simons, but all those other experiences were not first hand. There was also some suggestion that Jim could make me do things I wouldn't have done otherwise. Witness how he so easily made me get undressed in front of him the first time he hypnotized me!

Jim knew about hypnotism. Between the two of us, he was more the expert than I was. I really didn't have any choice but to accept his description of the problem.

The problem was, am I ready to accept his proposed solution? Getting rid of the hypnotic suggestions would prevent him from doing things such as that date at the restaurant that turned out to be a hypnotic fantasy. Boy, that was hot! I still fantasize about it. If he took that away, we'd never be able to do something like that again. Was I willing to give that up?

Another, more analytical part of my mind brought up an interesting fact, however. There are many people that are perfectly happy together that don't have one partner exerting hypnotic control over the other. This wasn't a prerequisite for happiness, I realized.

So, instead of trying to fight Jim on this, I did something that even I didn't expect. I looked him straight in the eyes, and said with all the confidence that I could muster, "I agree with you."

The look of shock in Jim's eyes was amazing. I knew immediately that he didn't expect me to agree so readily, but it made perfect sense to me. He explained the problem and his conclusion. I thought about the problem and reached the same conclusion. What was so surprising about that?

Jim explained to me that he would have to put me under, but he promised to have me be completely aware of everything and that I would keep all memories of what we did while I was hypnotized.

The first thing that Jim did was have me recite a list of every hypnotic suggestions that was still in effect. There were a few, some of which surprised me.

For each suggestions, he asked me to let him know how I felt about it.

Being forced to undress before exercising didn't really bother me, as only Jim and Wendy would see me, but having the decision out of my own control bothered me a bit. He removed that suggestion. The same went for being forced to be undressed in the house. I mean, it was a bit titillating to be exposed that way, but again it wasn't my own decision. Perhaps I wouldn't mind being a nudist, and I think I was getting used to the idea, but I wanted it to be my own idea, not his.

That wasn't an easy decision, by the way. Part of what titillated me about being forced to undress was the fact that it was out of my control. It turned me on, actually. There were other times, however, when the extra spent time in getting undressed, especially when nobody else was around, was a bit of a hassle. I figured that the two of us could eventually come up with a better suggestion in the future that would address those concerns, but we didn't need to do it right now.

The actual trigger that Jim used to hypnotize me were slightly different than I remembered the words to be. When he saw the confusion on my face, he explained that he didn't let me know the entire phrase so he could discuss the triggers with me without accidentally putting me under. Isn't he sweet and thoughtful?

Jim also assured me, "Shirley, I was able to hypnotize you that first time. Having a post-hypnotic trigger to get you to return to your trance only makes the process easier. If I really need to hypnotize you again, I'll be happy to do it the long way. I don't need this trigger and this is one of the ones that really bother me."

"OK," I said.

The next suggestion was, "I will not feel pain when I get a bikini wax. Instead, I will feel horny."

Jim blushed at that one. "That's probably one we should remove."

I shook my head. "No!" Jim looked surprised, so I added, "Just remove the horny part. Having wax not hurt can be useful."

Jim thought about it. "Well, sometimes pain is nature's way of telling you..."

I heard that before. "Make it specific, then. I won't feel the normal pain from any waxing. Period."

Jim made the change to that suggestion.

There was one suggestion I wasn't aware of until I recited it. "I will get aroused when Jim humiliates me in public." How did that one get there? I was a bit surprised and more than a little disappointed in Jim about that one.

Jim seemed confused by that one as well. "When did I give you that suggestion?"

I didn't remember, but then realized when he gave it to me. "When you were preparing me for my date in public."

"Oh!" Jim seemed surprised. "I thought I removed that one." Seeing the confusion in my eyes, he explained, "When I was pretending to humiliate you in the 'restaurant, ' I added this one to add to the situation. I forgot about it, actually, but I don't think this is a safe suggestion to keep around."

I agreed with him. "Go ahead, you big oaf!

The only remaining suggestions were ones that Jim said were standard. I would feel relaxed during hypnosis, I would like that feeling of relaxation, and that I would trust Jim. He told me that these should be safe to remove, and he did so.

It was amazing. That sense of total bliss that I didn't even realize that I was feeling lifted. I wasn't uncomfortable, though. Something else was strange, but I couldn't put my finger on it right then.

Jim then woke me out of my trance and I didn't feel much different than when I was under. I still felt a bit strange, but I also noticed I no longer felt that relaxing feeling that I usually felt when I awoke from a trance. Instead, there was a new emotion in there, something that I hadn't felt in a long time.

I looked around. Something seemed very different. I frowned, not being able to put my finger on it. I shook my head a few times.

Jim looked concerned. "Shirley, what's wrong?"

"I ... I don't know." I wished that damned idiot would stop interrupting my train of thought.

I thought about that last hypnotic session. Jim was right, I remembered everything that happened. All those suggestions: The ones regarding sticking to my weight loss program that we kept, the other ones we removed.

Mostly, I thought about those memories of Jim humiliating me in the restaurant. Of course, it wasn't a real restaurant, but he made me feel humiliated. It started to bother me for some reason. I frowned. I wasn't feeling relieved at all the way I thought I'd be.

"Shirley, are you all right?"

"I don't ... I'm not sure ... STOP CONFUSING ME!"

I was getting frustrated with Jim. Of course he didn't know what was going on inside my head. Neither did I. I also felt extremely confused. Did Jim do this to me? What did he do to me? What did I get myself into?

"Sleep, Shirley. Sleep!"

I looked at Jim, and my confusion immediately turned to anger. That was my hypnotic trigger! He wanted to put me under. That bastard! He promised me ... So much for being equals. That was never his intention. I wasn't going to let that work, damn it!

"Fuck you, Jim!" I practically screamed.

"No, Shirley. Something is wrong!"

"Fuck you!" I said, really screaming this time.

I looked around and knew that something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. I looked down at myself and saw that I was naked. Naked?

Oh, yes. Jim made me get naked before I could come into the house. Why would he do that to me? It was so ... humiliating!

Jim looked alarmed. "Shirley. Tell me what's wrong!"

"YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG. YOU ARE A MONSTER! YOU HUMILIATED ME!"

"What are you talking about?"

I shot up from the sofa and found my clothes in the foyer. I grabbed them and shot upstairs. I found my dresser in the master bedroom and grabbed a handful of clothes and then ran into the spare bedroom.

A few minutes later, I heard Jim come upstairs. I was already in the spare bedroom, and I heard him in the hallway approaching the spare room.

"KEEP OUT OF HERE, YOU PERVERT!" I shouted. "If you so much as touch the handle on that door, I will call 911 and tell the police that you are raping me!"

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked. "Please let me into the room."

"Get away from me!" I shrieked.

I threw myself on the bed and pulled a pillow to my face. I felt confused, but mostly I felt betrayed.

I vowed that I would never trust a man ever again for the rest of my life.

(Jim)

Shirley and I spent about forty-five minutes in a hypnotic session. I asked her to tell me all the suggestions that were still active, and we discussed each of them and removed most of them.

When she came out of her trance, however, I was not ready for her reaction. She totally freaked!

At first, Shirley looked disoriented. She kept looking around her as if she wasn't sure where she was.

Then, I noticed that Shirley was staring at me. This was a look that I never saw from her before. There was no love in her eyes. There was fear, and there was anger. The scary part was that there was absolutely no love.

Without thinking, I uttered Shirley's key phrase so I could find out from her what was wrong and see what I needed to do to fix it, but I forgot that I removed that particular trigger.

"Fuck you, Jim!" There was a coldness to Shirley's voice that chilled me to the bone.

Shirley looked at herself, and apparently realized she was naked. She was no longer any compulsion to be naked in the room, but she must have remembered that she agreed to that suggestion in the first place.

"Shirley, tell me what's wrong!"

Shirley just shouted that I was what was wrong. She called me a monster.