Chapter 10

The next few days were busy ones for Marianne. After a day of rest which Christy and Matt insisted upon, Marianne was anxious to start her new job. Matt briefed her on answering the phone and soon Marianne was doing the scheduling of appointments. She also quickly learned how to keep the books and gradually began assisting in some of the procedures. Marianne, who had never had a pet of her own, fell in love with all the animals which were brought in for treatment. Although she remained shy, she nevertheless began making great strides in not only talking with clients on the phone but dealing with them in person as well.

She was as taken with Matt and Christy as they were with her. After talking with her benefactors she sent a letter to her parents (mailed by Matt from another city) in which she told them she had found a life for herself. She wished them well but she felt it best if they did not see each other again.

Her salary was not large, but with free rent and her simple needs, she was able to start a checking and small savings account. Although the apartment was furnished, she bought a couple of art prints at a flea market and a few other small items to make the apartment her own.

Christy often dropped by between lessons to check on Marianne and bring her small gifts. That weekend Marianne had Matt and Christy over for coffee and a couple of nights later they invited her for dinner. The three became fast friends, Marianne developing a deep and abiding love for the couple who had been everything to her. As the weeks went by, she realized the giving was virtually all on their part. Marianne wanted badly to reciprocate but other than cooking dinner for them occasionally she wondered how she could ever begin to repay their kindness. Accepting their invitation to dinner at their home, she suddenly became aware of something she might indeed give them. As inadequate as it might be, she hoped it would be enough to at least let them know how devoted she had become to them.

Their home was modest in size, but both had put a lot of effort into improvements and the furnishings were comfortable and inviting.

The three were enjoying some after dinner wine in the living room.

"So tell us about your childhood," said Matt, simply wishing to show an interest. When Marianne seemed hesitant to answer he added, "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's okay. I... I just..."

"Honey," interjected Christy, "if there are things you'd rather not talk about..."

"No, I want to tell you. You have a right to know about me."

"No one has a right to know anything you don't want them to," counseled the beautiful black wife.

"You both have been so wonderful I feel as if I could tell you anything."

And for the next few minutes Marianne related her life with her parents, her father's repeated rapes, her marriage to Cornelius and his perversions, his death, her life as a prostitute with her mother and father pimping her out to anyone with the money and finally her pregnancy and the abortion.

"My God!: exclaimed Christy, "Arlene told us you'd had things pretty rough, but we had no idea!"

"Daddy says I deserved everything that happened because I'm a whore and..."

"Your father is wrong, Marianne. You're a sweet, charming young woman. Those things you were told to do are not who you are. You are the person you think you are. Decide that for yourself. Don't let others decide for you."

"But all the things I've done..."

"From what you've described they weren't your ideas to begin with, but more importantly they are in the past. Whatever mistakes you may have made are done and over with. You can't erase them and you can't redo them so learn from them and move on. You've got the majority of your life ahed of you. Focus on the present and the future, not the past. Determine that, no matter what has taken place before, you will make the most of your life from this point on."

Marianne smiled weakly. "That's wonderful advice. It's just that I feel I need..."

"What? What do you need?"

"I'm not sure. First Arlene and then the two of you have been so kind to me. I wonder if I deserve such kindness."

"Of course you do," replied Christy. "You're an intelligent young woman with a kind heart. We all need a helping hand now and then."

"But I... I..."

"What is it, Marianne?"

"As happy as I've been this last week or so, I... I feel like I need you to..."

"To... ? asked Christy.

"To discipline me. Daddy and Cornelius both disciplined me. When they did, I knew I belonged... to them. I... I know I'm not explaining this very well. I'm not sure I understand it myself."

"What kind of discipline?" asked Matt.

Marianne reached for her purse and withdrew a three foot long strip of leather which ended in a narrow braided handle.

"I... I've been wanting to give this to you," she said. "Cornelius made me carry it so he could discipline me whenever he wanted. He said even when it was in my purse it was a reminder that I was his and he could do with me what he wanted. I belonged to him as long as this whip was his. I'd... I'd like for you to have it."

"You mean?" stammered Christy, looking incredulously to Matt, her mouth open in disbelief.

"Now that I've sent Daddy and Mama that letter, I'm no longer his. And with Cornelius dead, I'm all alone in the world."

"Not alone, Marianne. You have us."

"Exactly. Now I can belong to the two of you," she said smiling uncertainly as she placed the whip in Matt's hands.

"Marianne, we don't own you! No one does. You're free now to make your own life, to do what you want to, to join the real world, not a world of sadism or masochism "