Chapter 34

Driving back home that night, I really found it difficult to get Diane out of my mind. For the first time since Connie, I had found a girl I really felt attracted to. With Connie, it wasn't so much a physical attraction for her as it was another quality, which I had taken to labeling charisma. With Diane, it was a strong physical attraction, plus the fact I liked her flamboyant and exuberant approach to life. How many girls would have been willing to make the kind of public spectacle of themselves she had? The confrontation with Leon and the other girl, and then the public display of herself she later made, collapsing on the sidewalk like that, and then crying so intensely. Even her sitting in the restaurant, blithely telling me all about her past sexual history had convinced me she was someone who wasn't afraid to embrace life fully. I wanted to be around her, to draw on some of her life force, for my own benefit. She had enough zest to release me from the funk I had fallen into.

<Is the charisma I see in Connie natural, or was it something my original guardian concocted in order to draw me to her?>

It is artificial, produced by that entity in order to attract and entice you to her. Do you wish me to remove the attraction?

<No! I don't want you doing anything to it. Don't go anticipating things either. You think I have so many friends I can afford to lose any of them?>

I merely asked a question of you. I wasn't anticipating. Why is it nothing I do ever meets with your approval?

<Instead of asking me the question, you should be asking it of yourself. I realize it takes a little while for you to get into the full swing of things, but I'm expecting you to start showing some improvement very soon. How hard can it be? Leave Connie just the way she is to me. Now, what's Diane doing?>

Would you like to see?

The guardian played me the tape, and I could see Diane sprawled across her bed, once more crying her heart out, as she thought about Leon, and regretting that her love for him had been real. It was a time of real sadness for her, and I felt bad about intruding on it.

<Okay, enough. Stay attuned to her, and don't let her get so carried away that she does anything to harm herself. Let me know the first time Leon finds out that his dick doesn't work like it's supposed to.>

I believe he's currently involved in making the discovery now.

<Good, let me see.>

It was the same guy I'd earlier seen with Diane and the other young girl. He was sitting in a booth with another, older woman. They were sitting side by side, and he was trying to explain to her why her hand on his crotch wasn't getting him aroused. It was fun for me, watching and listening to his words, as well as seeing his real concern and distress. The guardian told me the woman with him was his faculty adviser, and they had been involved in an affair for the past year. I got him to play me the tape from her perspective, and got the distinct impression this impotence was not going to do his academic future any good at all.

<Cause him to shit himself, right now.>

I am not...

<Hal>

No, I'll do it!

I switched back and forth between the two of them, watching and listening as he made excuses for his lack of arousal. I was watching him when he first started feeling the acute and sudden discomfort in his bowels. I watched him as he stood up and ran off, in a desperate attempt to try to make it to the bathroom, panicked about the possibility of utterly disgracing himself. It was all to no avail though, he didn't make it even halfway there before he let loose. My guardian had even improvised, making Leon give off three loud and distinct farts right before he flooded his briefs with a huge mass of nearly liquid shit. I could even smell it, so I made the guardian switch both of the tapes off. I really wanted Leon to pay a price for how he had treated Diane. This, had been only the beginning.

<This wasn't so hard was it? I liked the little extra thing you did with those disgusting farts. Those farts really got everyone's attention on him just before you made him explode. This is the kind of creative flair I'm going to be expecting from you from now on.>

The next day, Saturday, I drove back to Orange. I waited at the door until a girl walked into the dorm building. I asked her to go up to Diane's room to tell her she had a visitor. When she came down and saw me, she looked disappointed. The guardian told me she was hoping it would be Leon, coming to explain and apologize, and to ask her to come back home with him.

"I've come to get you to take you closer to heaven."

"Only closer?"

"Yes, I can only take you the first mile, the rest of the trip you have to make on your own."

"Do I need my choir robe again?"

"Only if you want the chance to turn your boobs into small oranges."

"Did you think of me last night?"

"No, actually, I was thinking about poor Leon last night. I heard he was out with his faculty adviser and got an instant case of Montezuma's Revenge. He made a public spectacle of himself, letting go right in the middle of the restaurant. You didn't pray for this to happen to him, did you?"

"That didn't really happen."

"I'm afraid it did. It's the gossip all over campus, ask anyone."

"Poor Leon. He always had a nervous stomach. I hope he's okay now."

"Diane, the guy doesn't deserve any of your concern. His faculty adviser is a woman in her forties, and he's been sleeping with her for the past year. How do you think he even got his graduate teaching assignment? She set it up for him in order to keep him around for her to continue screwing him."

"I don't believe it, and I don't believe any of the things you've said about him."

"Fine, let's just go over there and have him tell you himself."

"I don't need you there when I see him. I'm not ready to see him yet, anyway. Are we going somewhere or not?"

"Yes, you going to get that robe or not?"

"No."

"Suit yourself then. I kind of like your boobs just the way they are."

She got in my Caddy, but she kept herself pinned over by the door, and she didn't speak to me at all. I drove us over to the flight school where I kept my plane tied down. I managed to coax her into the plane, and told her not to touch anything while I went about the task of going through my preflight checks. I started the engine, and let it warm up. By the time we were airborne, she was starting to cool off about my earlier comments. I let her take over the yoke and control the plane for a few minutes, this really got her excited. By the time we landed, she was once again in a good mood. I told her it was my own plane, and I could fly it whenever I felt like it. We went over to the Mexican restaurant Connie had gotten me hooked on over in Stanton. Again I was impressed with how much Diane could eat.