Chapter 1: Of Awakening & Love

I feel like I am falling... or is it rising? Words seem unfamiliar to me as I make their shapes with my mouth and throat. I assume that this is my body, the intense sickness in the stomach, the muscular ache in my limbs and the scale of stabbing pains in my head. I can feel each nerve impulse arrive at my brain with all the speed and urgency of melting snow.

Then I awoke... I knew immediately things were different. For one thing, I had an erection. I did not even know how I knew it was an erection, I just knew it was. Second, remembering Toug and how I had left him on the glassier after the kill caused me to feel remorse. I also felt sorry for Trage and Jod, and Treeya, what of dear Treeya? Odd, even the emotions I was feeling for my clansmen was very perplexing and very unfamiliar.

It was all so very strange, yet I somehow seemed to know it was appropriate and exactly as it should be. Something had happened to me overnight. It was as if I had become two different people, then again not really like two people, more like one person with two minds each with their own unique thought process.

One of the minds, my old one was dull and limited primarily to day-to-day survival, hardly capable of planning beyond a single weather season. That one being a personification of a 'noble savage', an elucidation of mankind detached from most honorable instincts, by a formed society based on class, pretension and falsity. An individual that does not know true social constructs, but only the raw and tangible world it lives in, thinking and behaving in a manner that is animalistic, and at times even immoral.

The second mind, my new one recognized the limited ability of the old mind to process information and had vision competent of capturing opportunities. A mind that is capable of making a conscious choice to accept in complete self-surrender the terms of an utterly non-meretricious fabric that is life as it had been given to it. I liked this new mind, but it also frustrated me, primarily because of the lost years I had spent living only within the old one.

A reflexive series of gestures and a list of urgent messages started glowing in my minds eye. I ignored all such messages before today, deciding that I my old mind could not have processed the information anyway. Then my erection took control of my new mind demanding relief.

I was lying spooned against Sheel's backside, with Roya spooned against mine. I couldn't understand why I wanted to do it other than my new mind said it was the relief I needed, so I pushed Sheel's long blonde hair aside and began kissing the back of her neck as I reached my arm across her rib cage and then fishing my hand between her furs I searched for her breasts. I found one, and felt its pliant softness, and satiny warmth. I started squeezing it lightly while my thumb and forefinger pinched her nipple.

I felt her nipple becoming erect and hard, but either my gentle kisses or cold hand must have awaked her because she turned her head looking back at me strangely. I couldn't read her expression, but I didn't think she was angry, "What are you doing Dac? That is very unusual."

"I'm feeling your breast." I responded reaching farther down to her other breast trying to get its nipple hard as well.

"Why would you want to feel my breast?" She asked confusedly.

"Because I like the feel of your breast. Don't you like me doing it?"

"I do not know Dac, men do not do such things." She responded.

"I wish to breed with you. Will you let me?" I asked her as my hand slid downward toward her womanhood.

"Men do not ask to breed. Men just do. You are acting very strangely Dac. I will get up so you can breed."

Gently restraining her, I told her, "There's no need for you to get up." My hand found her mons pubis then and I ran a finger along her vulva and below. I felt her flinch a little and she uttered a little "Uh," when my palm pressed down on her clitoris, which seemed to pop out a little.

I couldn't understand how I knew to do the things I was doing, but it felt good, and it felt right so I continued. My finger slid farther down rubbing over her swollen nether lips while my thumb replaced my palm over her now extended clitoris. I continued using my finger and thumb until I knew she was wet enough, (how did I know that), then I slid my finger inside her and pushed in and out just a little.

Her hips pushed back onto my finger forcing it farther inside her and small moans escaped her lips. Removing my hand, I pushed her furs up past her rear, then after pushing aside my furs, I took hold of my manhood and put the head to her entrance. I pushed into her and her wetness welcomed me. Her inner muscles played along my length as I pushed in gently but firmly.

"Oh... Oh..." she cried softly as I gave her more of my manhood and my hand once again reached across her body to worry her clitoris.

Then she was bucking and pushing back onto me, and her hips pressed harder than a bull bison, which is all it took for me. She began panting then gave a loud shriek of ecstasy, and her body twisted and bucked, lost in the throes of orgasm just as I started pumping semen into her. After my release, I felt satisfied and a little winded.

"Dac you were breeding with Sheel while lying down?" exclaimed Roya, sounding confused. We had obviously awakened her with our thrusting and noisy orgasms.

"Yes," I answered running my hand lightly over Sheel's mound.

"Dac did woman-to-woman things to me too Roya. It was even better though when..." Sheel blurted out, then stopped in mid sentence, presumably because she had mentioned something she shouldn't have. She quickly changed subjects by adding, "At first, he did it all wrong, with the wrong parts of my body. Then, he got it right, then he got it all wrong again. He seemed to be feeling around all over the place as though he did not know what he was looking for. I did not know what he was doing but it did not feel bad. Then his hand slid between my legs and he did things no man had ever done to me before. He was touching me in such a way that I felt tingling all over, and then he used one finger inside me while his thumb pressed and rubbed along my bump sending pleasurable waves between my legs. And... and when he did breeding, oh Roya, it felt so different, it felt so good, and I was wet Roya, never before have I been so wet when a man entered me for breeding, and never before had it felt so good. Oh, it felt so good, so very good, even better than you can imagine. I even had a very big paarug."

I idly wondered about this woman-to-woman thing.

"You paaruged? With a man? This is very unusual Sheel." Roya commented choosing to ignore Sheel's woman-to-woman remark.

"Let me show you something even more unusual Roya," I offered as I rolled over onto my other side and sat up facing her.

Holding my semi-soft erection, I pushed down on the back of Roya's head and said, "Put my penis in your mouth."

"I do not understand Dac?" Roya looked at me perplexingly unsure of what I wanted while mildly resisting the tug on the back of her head.

"This is called a penis." I told her wiggling it up and down. "Put your mouth over it," I said softy, "I think you'll enjoy it and so will I." I increased the force to the back of her head.

As I pushed Roya's head downward toward my quickly growing shaft, purposefully drawing her mouth closer and closer, I could see that she began to comprehend what I wanted her to do. And because women were accustomed to doing what men told them too do, she drew her head back slightly, took a deep breath, and using one of her small hands she pushed my foreskin gently back until the naked head stood out. She parted her lips, wetting them with her tongue, and gradually slipped the spongy head between them, rubbing it against the cushioned ridge of her teeth.

"Yes Roya, that's good." I rasped feeling my manhood stiffen even more, "Lick it with your tongue, bath it with your mouth. She simply sat there for a while, my maleness filling her mouth as I became fully erect. She had to open her mouth a little wider to take my expanding shaft.

"Now start sucking", I instructed, "while moving your mouth up and down." She slowly moved down on me, unable to take more than a few inches into her mouth. As she pulled back, she dragged her teeth along my skin causing me to jump.

"No teeth", I yelped, "cover them with your beautiful lips. Be gentle to my penis with your mouth, do not eat it!" This brought a bemused look to her face, but when she looked up at me, the sight of those beautiful green eyes looking up, her mouth full of my manhood sent a small spurt of semen out of its head. Surprised she drew back, looked at the liquid pooling on the tip and slowly extended her tongue to lick it. She tasted my semen, then after running her tongue over her lips, she swallowed it.

Presumably the taste of semen was not that objectionable because she opened her mouth and took me back into it once again. This time she pumped deeper, taking more of me into her mouth. As she sucked, I could feel her tongue sliding around the width of my shaft. This time she was careful to cover her teeth, sending waves of pleasure up my body as her lips caressed me. Soon she built up a rhythm, bobbing up and down, and I could feel my climax building, urging her to go faster. Soon her mouth was working like that of a fish out of water, sucking harder and harder, trying to draw my semen out.

"Drink", I requested as my hot semen exploded into her mouth. She withdrew to the end of my shaft, allowing the semen to fill her mouth. She swallowed, trying to drink all of it. But there was too much, it overflowed her mouth, running down her chin, dropping in thick creaming goblets onto her furs. Slowly the stream diminished allowing Roya to swallow the remainder. Finding nothing more to drink she withdrew and licked her lips.

It was then that I realized, my new mind was aware of numerous things, and that I could perform these things without consciously having to think about them. Things such as arousing Sheel before mating with her, so she too would experience an orgasm, or receiving oral sex from Roya. My old mind had never even imagined anything like either of them.

I looked over at Roya. Her breath came panting, she had worked up quite a sweat. Then my endorphin levels crash as my buried sense of injustice fought for recognition. I felt uncomfortable. I had taken advantage of these women and I didn't like the feeling. I knew as clan's women they were conditioned to doing anything a man asked, thereby I felt confident that they themselves did not feel taken advantage of, but that did little to relieve my own self-guilt. Then another sense of the thing pressed upon me with unusual persistence, and the idea occurred to me, that perhaps it really wasn't my fault after all.

I developed a theory. I blamed it on whatever had happened to me over night, all these new emotions. By blaming the emotions, I personally was exonerated according to this theory, not guilty of impropriety, since it was all outside my control. I was a victim of a biological reaction, which was impossible to control, and so I was not responsible for my own actions.

No. That theory wasn't worth mammoth shit. I was responsible. I was guilty. The flippant skepticism with which an essentially commonplace mind like my old one might have accepted the theory was one thing, however the new mind could not. I was very anxious that these women cared for and respected me. It was not that I feared the results, which would follow a general belief that I was just a normal clansman, or was it? Why was it, then! Why should I care what they thought? I looked down at Roya, her beautiful face upturned, and her wonderful eyes opening up the very depth of her soul, and as my eyes met hers I knew why, and... I shuddered.

My new mind searched for some way to recompense. The best it could come up with was to thank them for obliging me, so that would have to do.

I think I may have looked a little guilty when I said, "Thank you very much Roya, that was very pleasurable," then I leaned over and kissed her, a soft gentle kiss, hopefully one displaying genuine gratitude.

"You are... welcome Dac... but I only did as I was told." Roya responded obviously uncertain as to how she should reply.

Roya's expression told me my words had puzzled her, however, little more than they had puzzled me. Men were not in the habit of thanking women for anything. Nonetheless, as predicted, her tone told me she was not upset over what I had made her do and I felt a little better.

"And thank you Sheel," I said turning toward Sheel. Then drawing her face to mine, I kissed her deeply on the lips trying to convey the depth of my actual feelings.

Sheel looked at me not unkindly and said, "I do not understand for what Dac, but you are welcome. You are acting very oddly Dac. Are you not well?" She touched two fingers to her lips where my mouth had been not seconds before.

Again, Sheel's tone mimicked that of Roya's, and I felt even better, so I thought it best not to dwell upon the business, but to try and forget it, assuring myself I would maintain better control in the future.

Yet still, in an attempt to gain farther insight into what Sheel might actually be feeling I answered her question with a question, "Did you find my behavior unpleasant then?"

"No, not unpleasant... not at all... just strange." Sheel replied casting her eyes downward.

"And you Roya?"

"Not unpleasant... just different." The dark haired beauty answered my question.

I raised Sheel's chin then looking directly into her bright blue eyes I offered her a sweet smile, then turning to Roya I offered the same smile to her, "Good. Then let's talk no more of it."

Then I had the impression that I was forgetting something...

I shook off the rigid form of my old reality. Constructs emerged briefly across my extent, rippling to their own rhythm before sinking below the surface or boiling off into the void. Memories, fantasies, future echoes, the mundane, the unlikely, the impossible, creatures, the old ones, the familiar and the fantastic. Each seeking its own opportunity to shape the moment. I pushed these thoughts aside.

The beating of a new memory grew stronger, causing pictures across my new minds surface. A form emerged from the void... Yes, there should be something new... something special... a box. Looking around I spotted the storage box that I now knew would be there. The storage box was approximately six feet long by four feet wide and made of lightweight metal. Curiously, just as I had known the storage box would be there, I knew everything it contained and the appropriate use of each item therein.

Both girls eyes followed mine. They looked curiously at the storage box, but did not comment.

Getting up and adjusting my furs, I lifted the storage box lid and selected two jumpsuits then handed them to Roya and Sheel, "See, it is nothing more than a strange looking storage pot. Here, put these on under your furs they will make the weather much more endurable and keep your legs warm." I told them.

Both women looked perplexingly at the clothing unable to comprehend not only what they were, but even how they might go about getting into them.

"Here, let me show you," I said smiling. Then taking Sheel's jumpsuit I pulled down on its zipper, "Both of you take off your furs, then put your feet inside here and here," I ran my hand down each pant leg, "then we'll close them back up. Well, you'll see."

Sheel expression was still one of puzzlement but she did as I had requested and started removing all her furs. Roya mimicked what I had done with the zipper then she too began to undress.

I looked a Sheel standing naked and saw her through the new mind for the first time. I now saw her for what she truly was and not as just a clans woman. She was gorgeous, pure white unblemished skin, her breasts standing out proudly, large dark pink areolas surrounding each of her small erect nipples. Between her legs, her pubic mound was covered with silky blond hair only slightly darker than the long blond hair on her head unable to hide the pinker flesh of her womanhood.

"You are a supremely beautiful young woman," I told her staring at her naked body.

Sheel just stared at me not knowing how to respond, certainly no man had ever told her anything like that before. Soon Roya was standing before us, as naked as Sheel. She too was a stunning looking young woman. Black hair framing a beautiful face with big green eyes and a sensuous mouth, her breasts were slightly larger than Sheel's, but this matched her taller height. The sweep of her hips ran smoothly down to her thighs, a small mat of dark hair forming a subtle diamond where her legs met.

"Oh Roya you are exquisite," I told her, and then drawing both women to me, I hugged them tight to my body. I remembered the past and all the times these women had cooked and cleaned for our clan and yes, even the few times I had breed with them, but in that past I had never felt about them as I did at that moment. Now I saw them through different eyes, I saw them through the eyes of the new mind. I cared about them, and even more, I cared about what they thought of me. Then a new picture, which quickly formed into a word, popped into my head... love.

"It is hard to understand his new ways but, I think I will like this different Dac," Roya told Sheel as she smiled such a sweet smile at me.

"Me too, I think I will like this different Dac also." Sheel concurred also smiling but a little more shyly.

I felt my manhood stirring and quickly helped both women get into their jumpsuits before I did something I might regret later, and then I quickly stripped and put mine on. After we had all slipped our furs over the jumpsuits I said, "I have something else for each of you," reaching into the storage box once again I took out two steel (how did I know that word "steel"?) bladed knives in leather sheaths and handed one to each girl.

"What is this?" Roya asked turning it over in her hands.

"Let me show you," I answered retrieving a third knife from the storage box. I slid the knife out of its sheath and showed it to the women. "This is for cutting meats and other things it is a big improvement over what you are currently using and it will stay shaper a lot longer. It can also be used as a weapon. See?"

They both inspected the knife, and then carefully ran a finger along the cutting edge. Both women looked up at me with their mouths open, an astonished smile on both their faces. Then Sheel's smile evaporated into a more serious expression and she sighed, "This is a gift no woman is worthy of accepting Dac. You must take them back."

I gazed down on the women with what I hoped was a look of conviction and said, "No. I will not take them back. These knives are for you to keep. They are a gift from me to you. All right?"

"Yes Dac," Sheel responded without argument.

"Yes," Roya offered with no argument of her own.

My new mind wanted these woman as partners not as clans' women, and somehow I needed to find a way to awaken their minds as mine had been awakened, and although my new mind now realized that the female mind had always been more awake than the male mind, I probably still had a challenge ahead of me.

The first step toward their awaking would be to get them to make up their own minds about their future. As much as I wanted both of them to remain with me, and knowing if I told them they had to stay they would do so without question, that would be very counterproductive to the goal of opening their minds. They had to make that decision on their own. I prayed to the Earth Mother that I was not running them off.

"Listen," I told them forging ahead, "I know this will be difficult for you to understand but from now on things need to be different around here, it is the new way. For one thing, if we stay together I want both of you to start helping me to make decisions on how we do things."

Two very beautiful but very confused faces stared back at me. Okay that was a good start, Hmmm...

"Okay," I said trying to make it a little easier for them to understand, "what with Toug, Trage and Jod all dead we don't have much of a clan left. Right?"

They both nodded. Now we were getting somewhere.

"Good. So, instead of me just telling you what to do about your future, I want you both to make up your own minds. Can you do that?"

They both smiled at me. I think we just took a step backward.

"No. You see what I wanted was for both of you to answer the question. The question was now with most of our clan gone can you make up your own mind about what you want to do concerning your future. So, please, just answer the question."

"Yes Dac." Roya said.

"Yes Dac." Sheel said.

There, now we were back on track. "That was good. Thank you. So, now you need to decide if you want to stay here with me, or if you want me to help you find another clan with more hunters and women to go live with?"

"Do you not want us in your clan any longer then? Have we done something to offend you?" Sheel asked almost in panic.

Sheel gazed at me with troubled eyes, long and questioningly. That it was difficult to understand my words I well knew, nor could I hope that she would do so however much I craved her confidence and respect. I would much rather not have told her anything of my plans for their mind awakenings, but no man could look into the depth of those eyes and refuse her slightest request.

"Oh Sheel, no, no," As I looked at her face I still saw the concern in her beautiful eyes. I took her into my arms and hugged her, "Please believe me when I tell you that you have done nothing to offend me, and that I do want you. I only wanted to help you understand that your thoughts and your feeling have meaning. I'm so sorry I haven't made myself clear."

Sheel offered a weak smile, "A man need not be sorry to a woman Dac, and there is not a need for a man to give an explanation to a woman. But I am happy that you still want me."

I drew Roya to me then and hugged her to us, "Yes I still want you, and Roya too. I will always want both of you. I just wanted to point out that from now on you will be doing things by choice, not by demand."

Roya looked confused. Clearly she was having a difficult time grasping what I was saying, "How can a woman decide anything on their own? Women are not wise in the way of things."

"You'll find that you are much wiser in the way of things than you are aware of. You just haven't been given the opportunity to prove it to yourself." I offered.

Roya nodded once then said flatly, "If you think it is so, it must be."

"It is so. You'll see." I responded releasing the women, "Now, the reason I offered you both the choice of either staying or leaving is not because I don't want you to stay, it's because you need to understand that I personally do not intend on joining any other clan..."

Sheel's eyebrows furrowed as she interrupted me, "A one hunter clan? Why would you do this Dac? How will we eat? How will we get past the winter? Women do not hunt. Women cannot defend against the cave lion."

Before I could respond to Sheel, Roya, her voice reflective of her look, uneasy, interjected, "If what you are saying is true Dac you will need to hunt for three, will not Sheel and I be a burden on you?"

I offered a smile that I hoped conveyed confidence before answering, "You both recognize that I've changed correct?"

They both nodded, and I continued, "Well so has my way of hunting. I can assure you that I will be able to supply all the game required to feed us, and I have some new ideas for winter lodging as well. But if you feel reluctant in any way about staying with me I'll help you find a more normal clan to go live with."

"You have mentioned leaving so often, would you prefer that we find another clan?" Sheel asked. She had lost the optimistic look in her eyes, fear returning.

I leaned over and kissed Sheel. Then I leaned over and kissed Roya. I put everything I had into those kisses, because I needed to show them that they were very important to me. Without question, at that moment they were the most important things in my life, then I said, "No, no my dear girls, I very much hope that your choice is to stay with me. I very much hope that you both will decide to remain here. Yet, as much as I want that to happen, I will not force you, or even tell you to stay with me."

"Never has a man kissed a woman like that before, you are definitely a different Dac," Sheel told me smiling.

"Yes, never such a kiss." agreed Roya then she added, "And such words. I shall have to believe even though I cannot understand. I can readily perceive that you are not a normal clansman any longer, yet you are still like us, yet different... but why should I trouble my poor head with such a problem, when my heart tells me that I believe because I wish to believe what you are telling us about hunting and winter."

"Thank you Roya. Yes, you can believe me about these things. Something else you can believe is that I have very strong feelings for both you and Sheel."

Roya's expression was that of either keen interest or compliance to a male, I was not sure which, when she asked, "So Dac these strong feelings you have for me and Sheel, what are very strong feeling? Can you tell us?"

I nodded, "They are feeling that are deeper than I thought possible. It is a hopeless consuming passion, making we want to hold and kiss both of you all the time."

"Just like your kiss, never has a man talked to a woman as you are doing Dac. I think I like these very strong feelings." Roya responded.

"Hmmm..." Sheel purred before voicing a question giving me a good indication that maybe they were starting to understand what I was talking about, "So Dac, you are asking us now then? This means that Roya and I now have this choice to make? To go... or to stay with you."

"Yes. From now on, as with this, I will ask your opinions about many things and I will listen to them. Neither of you will ever again be forced to do anything you do not wish to do. I care about how you feel inside, and I want you to be happy."

I could tell by the look on their faces that I had been correct. Women were without doubt more intuitive then men. It seemed to me that at least the concept of my lecture was now understood. I recognized that it would take a while before they were fully self-confident but at least some threshold had been crossed. It was a good start.

Sheel's face maintained an even keel smile as if she were asking me if I wanted her to cook dinner, "I do not understand everything, and I am unsure of decision making but I think I can give you opinions and I like this new Dac, so I think I will stay with you. There, that is my opinion."

"I like this new Dac too, and the very strong feelings, and even before this new Dac I liked the old Dac much better than the other men of our clan, so I too will stay with you Dac. Yes, that is my opinion." Roya smiled.

"Thank you. You've made me very happy." I told them smiling, then I gave each of them a tender kiss on the lips.

Roya furrowed her eyebrows then asked, "Dac, you are so different from before. Why is this? I like you much better this way and I hope I will have many opinions for you if that is what you wish. But, I still do not fully comprehend why a man would ask a woman for her opinion."

I reached out, pulled Roya into my arms, and said, "I would ask for your opinion because I love you."

Roya looked up at me with her big green eyes and innocently asked, "What is love Dac?"

"Remember those strong feeling? Well, love is when you care about someone even more than you care about yourself. That's how I feel about you and Sheel, I love you both so very much I will do everything I can to make you happy."

Roya smiled, "I like this new word... love."

Then I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. My tongue searched outward and drove past her lips then pressed against her teeth. Even though Roya did not understand what I was doing, perhaps by instinct, her mouth opened and my tongue entered touching the tip of hers. Again, by instinct, when my tongue retreated, hers followed mine and they entwined inside my mouth.

When we broke apart, she sighed, and then I drew Sheel to me and gave her some of the same tongue treatment I had given Roya.

After pulling myself away from Sheel's gorgeous lips, she moaned, "Hmmm... That was nice Dac, love is a good word, and I think I will have lots of opinions for you as well."

I laughed at Sheel's quip. I do not remember laughing like that in the past, but it seemed to please the women immensely and it made me feel better than I could remember. I also felt good that Sheel was becoming more comfortable talking openly to a male.

We all laughed together for a while then Roya said, "It is very strange to be talking so much and even laughing with a man Dac. It is strange but I like it. And, I like your kisses Dac, I think they express these very strong feelings... this love, you told us about, do they not?"