Chapter 22: Anne

Tuesday afternoon, when I got back to the room after the English exam, I saw Mary's panties on the bedroom door. I sat down at my desk and thought about going through the economics notes again. But when I heard Mary laugh, I got up, put on my coat again and left the room.

At the Art School, Siggy, the secretary, recognized me. "Hi, Anne. Are you posing today?"

"No, I'm looking for Will Spector. Would you have any idea where he is?" I grinned at her, "Do you even know who he is?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. He's one of our stars, you know." She looked at the clock. "Right now, he's about finished with a class on the third floor. He'll have to come past here, why don't you wait?"

I waited, chatting with Siggy until Will came past with a group of others. He stopped and came over when he saw me.

"Hi, Anne," he said, and kissed me. I hugged him hard and kissed him back.

"What's up? You okay?"

"I just wanted to see you, talk to you." We walked out of the building. "Is there somewhere we can go?"

"My roommate's away this afternoon. Want to come to my place? Or yours? How was the exam?"

"Yours. Mary's got someone there. Hung her panties up. Exam was okay, no problem. You have yours today?"

"Uh-huh. Also no problem. This way."

Will shared with another art student. The room was large, like ours, and there were two easels set up along one wall, the art supplies carefully organized according to two different systems.

I took off my coat; Will hung it on the door with his own. I went to him and put my arms around him, holding him tight for a long time. He kissed my neck, held me and sort of rubbed my back to tell me that whatever it was bothering me, it was going to be all right. Finally, I pulled away and sat down. He sat on another chair.

"So?"

"I guess it's just a reaction. We worked so hard last weekend and the exam went so easily today, I feel like we've really got the secret. But that's not what's bothering me."

"What is bothering you, then?"

"I didn't realize it until I saw Mary's panties on the hook this afternoon." I got up and wandered around the sunny room. When I came to where Will was sitting, I sat on his lap.

"Will, I realized I miss you. I came looking for you because I want to be alone with you today, just the two of us."

We kissed for a moment or two. Will held me close. After a moment, his hand slipped under my sweater and caressed my back.

"I love to feel your hand on my back. Am I too heavy?"

"No. I feel it, too. It's wonderful being with you and loving you in the study group, you know. And loving Mary. And watching you both love the others. But I do need some time with you. Like this."

I stood up and pulled my sweater off. Will got up and put his arm around my waist, guiding me into the bedroom. I undid his belt, and soon we were stretched out on his bed, close and tight, our arms and legs woven together.

"Will?"

"Yes."

"I know you love Mary, too. And you spend a lot of time with her, out at the stables. Is it all right that I feel so close to you, that I need more with you than just our group fun? I don't want to do anything that will break up the group."

"It's all right, Anne. I do love Mary in a very special way. She is beautiful, and as an artist I love beauty for itself. And, she is wonderful, and having a hard time coming to terms with herself, and I love her for that, too, because she's trying so hard. I couldn't choose between you, but you give me something special. You make me feel at home, easy. And I love your searching, too."

"Oh, Will. Love me."

When I could talk again, I sat up beside him, running my hands along his ribs and tummy. He put his head in my lap.

"How is Mary having a hard time? I guess I don't know her as well as I thought."

"We haven't talked about it, but I see her love of horses, I see her desire to teach and to learn at the same time. She doesn't want to be a rancher, but she wants a lot of the things being a rancher implies — freedom, responsibility, risk-taking. She says she wants to become a financial wiz, but she has no idea what she wants to do with it. She really enjoys an unconventional life-style. It makes her really happy to be screwing four guys."

"It makes me happy, too, Will. I really care for all four of you. But especially you and Saul. I need to think some about Mary. She's the best friend I've ever had, but I wasn't seeing the things you see."

"I've seen her in more varied settings than you have, maybe that's it. She's not unhappy, she's just trying to deal with things as they come. So far, it's working well, I think."