Chapter 6: Withdrawal

Monday was rough. There is good reason why even Elites usually take at least a day off to 'let go' after working with a client. Going to class probably kept me from brooding alone in my room all morning. But Rachael's knowing, yet vaguely sympathetic, looks certainly didn't help. I'd long ago learned to mask my true emotions, and I doubt even The Girls noticed that I was a bit more reserved at lunch or that my comebacks were more pointed than usual.

With a final on Wednesday, life wasn't going to let me take the afternoon off either. I'd just got back from a study break with some of The Girls and was attempting to create a review sheet when Sarah called.

"Hi," she greeted me timidly.

"Hey, how's it going?" I asked, pleased to hear her voice again.

"Oh, not too bad. Is it okay that I called?"

"Of course," I replied, taken aback that she even considered that I didn't want to talk to her again. 'Like I could ever just give her up after the weekend we shared?'

"Well, I wasn't sure..."

"Look, things are probably going to be a little weird for a while, but I still want to hang out and I enjoy talking with you."

"Good," she sighed with a laugh that seemed much more like the old Sarah. "Cause guess who joined my class today?"

"Oh, so you weren't sick today?" I asked sarcastically, hoping to ease the tension.

"Doug did!" she screamed, completely ignoring my comment.

"Oh, how cool."

"No, definitely not cool. You said I'd never see him again," she continued, warming to the argument. "You asked, 'What's the worst that can happen?' Well, you suck!"

"Actually, it was more of a nibbling action if you recall. I believe you were the one much more interested in sucking," I teased. Doug's dad had informed me in the bathroom that they were moving to Colorado Springs so this news wasn't all that shocking.

"Arg! You're impossible!"

It was common knowledge that Docents and clients went through a withdrawal phase after their time together. I was hoping that if we remained friends, and since I would still be seeing her on a quasi-regular basis, that this withdrawal wouldn't be too bad. But just hearing her voice brought it all back, and judging by the way her mood had so rapidly changed, Sarah obviously felt it as well. Then again, I could be wrong, so decided to play it safe by quickly ending the conversation.

"I know. Really, you teenagers are so emotional. Now, are we still on for running this afternoon?"

It was a dirty trick but I knew Sarah hated being reminded that she was 'acting her age', as Rachael put it. I had to work hard not to laugh when she swallowed her intended reply and said, with a fair amount of attitude, "Yes!"

"Good, I'll see you outside in 20 minutes."

"Yeah, but..."

"Okay then, I'll see you soon," I replied, cutting her off before she could continue to rant.

'I'm going to pay for that later, let's hope this works out, ' I thought with a sigh as I flipped my phone closed.

Sarah seemed to falter when she saw me, but there was now an aura of confidence about her that hadn't been there just a few days before. Even Jackie seemed to notice the change and treated her as an equal and fellow Little Sister.

Sensing a more sympathetic audience in Jackie, Sarah continued our discussion.

"I can't believe you hung up on me!" she cried as she joined us and we headed off towards the trail.

"Wait, you hung up on her?" Jackie asked, equally shocked and curious.

I wasn't sure how much Sarah wanted to rehash our weekend so was careful to be on my best behavior just in case her moodiness returned. After a few moments of consideration I came to the conclusion that, as a girl and fellow Little Sister, Jackie was much less likely to set Sarah off.

I decided to bait Jackie slightly to help ensure she took the initiative.

"Hardly, I merely ended the phone call before Sarah finished venting."

"I was not venting!" Sarah cried. She caught the knowing look Jackie and I shared and threw her hands up in disgust.

Luckily it was all bluster and Jackie quickly coaxed a detailed explanation from Sarah. I was tempted to make a few pointed comments about Sarah's previous enthusiasm for Doug, but decided against mentioning most of them aloud. Sarah did catch me laughing to myself occasionally and glared at me as if I'd actually spoken aloud. The conversation was going well and Sarah and Jackie were having some quality 'girl talk' while laughing near constantly when it came time to turn around and head back towards campus.

"Whatever happened to being discreet?" Sarah cried at some point.

"Funny you should mention discreet now," Jackie started to reply, "when you've been online telling us all about how he..."

"You can't talk about that in front of him!" Sarah gasped while turning red.

"Why not? I'm a Little Sister too, and us girls have got to be able to talk to someone, right? Besides, he was there."

"True," I encouraged, and the conversation quickly drifted back to girl talk. I mentally agreed that even clients needed help 'letting go' and I was glad that Sarah had found such an empathetic audience.

I was still slightly worried about how Sarah would react to hanging out with me in person, but at least on the surface everything seemed exactly as it was before. In fact, once we finally made it back she just gave her customary wave and kept running. It had been less than 24 hours since we last kissed and for some reason I was actually expecting more of a reaction. Granted, I didn't have any actual experience interacting with former clients immediately after our weekend together, but it just seemed odd.

Jackie, on the other hand, seemed to have an entirely different set of after-running plans this time. I was intrigued when she begged off showering together before I could even tell her no.

This suspicion proved true when, as we were exiting the elevator, she just happened to mention, "I'll see you later tonight!" before winking and waltzing off down the hall towards her room.

As promised there was a faint knock on my door later that night just as I was about to head to bed. I found Jackie dressed as Amy had been the night before, in her bathrobe and slippers. 'Well, this ought to be interesting, ' I thought with a smile.

After Jackie's previous stunt, I wasn't about to blindly trust her and blocked her from entering my room.

"Will you be good?"

"Of course," she replied while attempting to duck around me.

Unlike last time I wasn't caught off guard and managed to get my arm out in time to stop her. I don't think Jackie was expecting any resistance as she actually ran into my arm before backing up a step and glaring at me.

"Look, you can't just tease me and expect to be welcomed back at your whim."

"I don't tease..." At my look she faltered and added, "anyone but you."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? When was the last time I got you all excited and left you hanging?"

"Well, in the hot tub..." she started, then melted under my glare.

"That's a really bad example."

"But you did get me all excited."

"And got you off," I reminded her.

By this point several of The Girls noticed that I hadn't allowed her into my room, and Jackie seemed to grow increasingly uncomfortable with the situation

"Please?" she practically begged.

"Look, teasing--even sexual teasing--has to be reciprocal. You give some. You get some. Whenever it loses its balance it's not teasing, and certainly won't happen in my room, understood?"

When she nodded, I again asked, "Now, will you be good?"

Jackie slowly nodded, then grew thoughtful.

"And if I don't?"

I couldn't help shaking my head.

"Why then, I guess I'll just have to spank you."

"You wouldn't dare!" she gasped.

"Try me," I leered as I lowered my arm and let her in.

Once in my room Jackie was on her best behavior and even went so far as to ask which side of the bed I preferred and if she had my permission to cuddle up next to me. Lifting my arm she eagerly snuggled closer and practically purred as she rested her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her.

True there wasn't any guarantee that her attitude would actually improve, but at least she was aware that I'd had enough. Clients like Jackie don't change overnight, yet if you're patient they will eventually come around. You just have to give them time, not force the issue too hard, and perhaps prod them onto the right track.

At least for the moment I was guardedly optimistic about the progress she'd made.

The next morning I was having an amazingly realistic dream about cuddling up with Sarah when I realized she seemed a bit smaller in my arms. Reaching up I gently cupped her breast and found it to be slightly fuller than I remembered, but still quite pleasant to hold. I nearly shrugged it off when with a start I realized it wasn't Sarah, but Jackie, sleeping naked next to me.

As I slowly came awake, I clearly remembered Jackie being clothed when we went to sleep, yet I was definitely cupping a naked breast. With a silent groan I glanced at the clock and realized it was about time to get up. Like any guy, I enjoyed waking up next to a beautiful woman and was tempted to accept her nakedness as a gift and let it slide. However, after the progress we'd made last night I wasn't about to let her regress.

I stealthily removed my hand, drew back the covers from her ass, and smacked it with all the force I could leverage while lying down.

"Ow!" Jackie cried out sleepily. "What was that for?"

"You knew the rules and I warned you of the consequences," I explained in a patient voice.

After glaring at me, Jackie looked down and examined the red handprint blooming on her exposed ass.

"Well, I didn't think you'd mind," she replied as she traced the outer edges and occasionally winced. "Besides, I got hot."

"More like you were born that way," I remarked under my breath.

"What?" she asked, suddenly awake. Her medium sized breasts jiggled as she turned to face me.

"I said, it's time for my shower."

"No you didn't," she replied with a pout.

"True, but want to join me?"

"Afraid I can't. The others made me promise 'no more showers or baths.' In fact I wasn't supposed to go anywhere near your bathroom, but I have to pee." She hopped out of bed and sauntered towards the bathroom.

"I can see why," I agreed sarcastically as, without shutting the door, Jackie sat down on the toilet in plain view. I made no attempt to avert my eyes as she cut loose.

"Men!" Jackie harrumphed as she noted my attention yet did not hide either her actions or nakedness. In fact she seemed to make quite a production out of wiping up afterwards. I got the distinct impression she was quite proud of herself for getting away with the show she'd just put on.

Since I hadn't expressly forbidden it, I decided to let her antics slide for the moment. 'Too bad no one would ever believe that the reason Jackie was in a good mood when she left my room was because she got pissed off, ' I thought.

Lunch the next day turned out to be quite an interesting, and packed, affair. I was still in a bit of a funk, but having The Girls around definitely helped. Normally around five to seven of The Girls would join me for meals, but today almost all thirteen of them, along with Cara and Angie, were crowded around the two circular tables we'd moved together. Suspiciously, neither Brad nor any of the guys from my wing were there, so it was just me and The Girls.

Erin, the 3-West RA, headed towards us when she saw all of The Girls eating together, but seemed to change her mind about halfway towards our table. With a glare in my direction she veered to the side and joined a few other RAs sitting along the far wall. I got a wave and sympathetic look from Laura, but it was still a bit disappointing that even after two months Erin would tolerate my presence only if I joined The Girls while she was eating with them, but otherwise avoided me. 'I guess some people really don't change, ' I thought with a shrug as I focused my attention back on The Girls' conversation that had been blooming around me.

My weekend with Sarah seemed to inspire The Girls to significantly increase their flirting. At the same time Jackie displayed an admirable amount of self-restraint, and the teasing became much less pointed. Even with the extra girls at the table, the total level actually decreased.

I was a bit worried that things could easily escalate beyond my control, but at least for now The Girls seemed fixated on gaining my good graces. It was a marked improvement in our relationship from just about every angle.

Aside from an occasional knowing look, actual details of my weekend with Sarah never came up. Instead my nights with Amy and Jackie seemed to be the topic of the day. It started off when Jackie explained in graphic detail the exact shape, size and location of my handprint on her ass. In fact, she was about to show everyone when my cough and pointed glance around the room quickly reminded her that we were still in the crowded cafeteria.

Just then Cara got a mischievous glint in her eye, and leaning over began a whispered conversation with Eliza. After a furious set of exchanges Eliza nodded her head in agreement before pointedly clearing her throat.

"It sounds like Jackie attempted to take more than you were willing to offer. But maybe if she asked first?"

"Maybe," I agreed noncommittally, with no intention of giving any further reply. I gave Cara a look that clearly said, 'Quit meddling.' Cara just laughed and blew me a kiss.

Eventually The Girls caught on that their nightly visits were not something I would help schedule or attempt to formally structure.

I was secretly pleased that phase three was going so well and began to ponder who would show up next.

When I got back to the room I found two calls waiting for me. The first was from Kelly asking if, after dinner, I wanted to go over our group project and some last minute questions for tomorrow's final. The other was from Steph mentioning that she had a client weekend in Aspen coming up and wanted to know if she could visit earlier in the week.

I quickly made plans to meet up with Kelly in my room at 7:45. It would be the first time Kelly had visited my room since our night together. Previously we'd joked about studying in my room, but always met up in the library basement instead as it was about halfway between our two dorms.

Next I called Steph. As it was a weekday, I actually got through on her cell after only a few rings. Obviously I wanted her to visit and we quickly agreed she'd fly into Colorado Springs on Tuesday night, November 8th. Even with a final to study for, there was no way to just end the call without at least a brief summary of what I'd been doing over the last couple of months.

With our nearly identical backgrounds, Steph and I just seemed to connect. Steph now worked with Kael and was accepting some of the more prestigious clients I used to work with. In fact, she'd worked on three different continents in the last six weeks and was very much looking forward to taking a short break and hanging out. At the same time Steph seemed fascinated by my issues with The Girls and was particularly interested in meeting Sarah and Jackie.

Although I knew Steph needed to vent some stress about working with more prestigious clients, my thoughts kept drifting back to Sarah. After talking for over an hour, I finally had to beg off as I still needed to study.

'Man, I have got to get over Sarah, ' I mentally chided myself as I pulled out my text and notes.

The night before my second final of the semester found me once again up late cramming. This time I wasn't alone as Kelly and I sat at opposite ends of my overstuffed couch, our notes scattered around us as we tried to stump each other. I was actually enjoying the competition immensely as it reminded me in many ways of spending time with a fellow Docent or Elite. It was frustrating though, as now Kelly seemed to be stumping me more often than not.

We'd quickly finished the group project and had been studying for several hours when other people on my wing began taking breaks from studying and were noisily blowing off steam in the hall. Eventually it got loud enough that Kelly told me to shut the door. Alone again with the door shut, the tension in the room instantly quadrupled, and I could tell we were both thinking back on the last time we'd shared this room. Kelly made a lame joke and, after laughing, we settled back into study mode, only to be interrupted about ten minutes later by a soft knock on the door.

Normally I only shut my door when I was getting ready for bed so I had a sinking suspicion of what to expect. When I opened my door I found Jess in a long bathrobe waiting to be let in.

"Oh, hey Jess, sorry I didn't stop by," I stalled while darting my eyes towards Kelly and frantically trying to develop a better excuse.

"Uh, it's okay. Is now a good time?" she played along.

"Kelly, I promised Jess I'd help her go over some vocabulary for her Spanish final tomorrow. Would you mind if we cut this a bit short?"

Seeing as it was after 11 and we'd been studying over an hour longer than previously planned, it was a legitimate excuse.

"Sure," Kelly drawled as she gathered up her stuff. "I'm beat and should probably get back anyway."

"Me too, how do you know all that stuff?"

I turned to Jess and asked, "Do you want to go grab your book and I'll call when we're done?"

"Sounds good, just let me know when you're ready for me to stop by."

"Cool," I called after her. I let go of the door and turned towards Kelly.

"Are you two actually going to study?" demanded Kelly once the door shut.

I squinted as I considered her. It was apparent she expected me to lie and equally obvious that she suspected the truth.

"Actually, we may. But that's not what you're really asking. If you want to know, 'Will I Fuck her?' Then no, I won't."

She glanced to the side. "Last time, I..."

"Wanted more than I could give or ever meant to implicitly offer," I cut her off in a voice that was harsher than I intended. After all, I thought we'd resolved it weeks ago.

"I know, but..." she tried to continue, still not fully meeting my eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you or lead you on. I'm still figuring out these 'real world' relationships. What we shared was very special, but I'm not looking for a girlfriend."

With a tiny nod of her head she acknowledged me and then sniffled. I was annoyed that we'd had such a good time studying together, yet now things were back to being awkward. With a jolt I realized that even at a party, it takes more than just being beautiful to get my attention. I still hoped we could be friends.

"Come here," I urged, holding out my arms.

Kelly was rather stiff at first, but soon embraced me with a surprising intensity. Recently I'd been careful not to be too physical around girls, but I was fairly certain she wouldn't misinterpret my gesture.

It was the first physical contact we'd shared since that night. At around 5'7" I couldn't help noticing how her head seemed to fit perfectly beneath my chin. As I nuzzled her blond hair, I thought back on our night together and reluctantly agreed it had been a lot of fun. True, she wasn't exactly my type and was inexperienced, but that was probably why I enjoyed it so much.

I felt my Institute training, which always seemed to be running subconsciously, kick into high gear and I knew exactly what she wanted me to say.

Realizing it was true made me hesitate, then with absolute sincerity I said, "You're an amazing person Kelly, but this is as close as I'm letting people get for a while."

"Thanks," she replied in a soft voice, and this time I felt her shoulders shake softly as she cried. There wasn't any rush so I just held her and hoped she'd let it all out.

After a few minutes she seemed to run out of tears, but we still held each other for several more moments before she reluctantly let go.

"It's getting late." I handed her some tissues. "Want to use my bathroom to freshen up?

"Nah, I think I'm fine." She blew her nose with one hand and dabbed her eyes with the other.

"Okay." A bit of fire seemed to be back in her eyes so I assumed she would be okay.

"Want me to walk you back to the dorm?"

"No, I can manage." She looked at me oddly. "You know, you didn't offer to walk me home last time."

"Honestly Kelly, I didn't know that I should. Non-client relationships are so much more complicated than I anticipated. It is almost impossible to teach an Elite something new, yet you taught me more in one night, and through the events that followed, than I've learned in a long time."

This last was a stretch, but I had learned a lot from studying the reactions of my fellow classmates and I wasn't about to admit that I'd used her to get at The Girls.

"Really?" she asked as she quickly gathered up her stuff.

"Really." I held open the door. "Have a good night Kelly."

She winked mysteriously, "You too, and be good."

"I try."

'Honestly I try very hard, ' I continued to myself as I picked up the phone to call Jess.

"Are things better between you two now?" Jess asked as she entered the room. She was still wearing her bathrobe and not carrying any books.

"Yeah, I think so. She's a little jealous that you and the rest of The Girls are now spending the night, but I was very clear that I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

"That's good. Kelly's nice enough, but I doubted you two would ever be more than friends. I'm glad you were able to get everything out in the open."

There was something about Jess' response that just didn't feel right. I hoped there wasn't any residual resentment from The Girls towards Kelly.

"You're not still jealous that I chose Kelly?"

"Hardly," replied Jess, perhaps a bit too quickly.

At my incredulous look Jess blushed and, as if to change the subject, started undoing her robe.

To be honest my conversation with Kelly had been tiring, all of the cramming was mentally exhausting, and I was still a little bit 'off' after my weekend with Sarah.

All these worries drifted away as Jess sensuously removed her robe to reveal a lavender silk teddy that was sexy yet covered just enough to qualify as 'sleep wear.' I'd have to be blind as well as dense to not get the distinct impression that sleeping might not be the only thing on her mind. This opinion was confirmed when as she climbed onto my bed and I noticed she was wearing a matching silk thong that was identical to the one worn by Sarah over the weekend.

'And I was sure Jackie took Sarah shopping, ' I thought with a grin as I blatantly checked out Jess exposed ass.

"<<Cough>> No peeking," Jess teased, obviously reveling in my attention.

With one last peek I slowly let my eyes drift up to meet hers.

"You wore that on purpose, so I figured I should give you the attention it deserved."

"What makes you think I wanted you to check out my thong?"

"Because it matches," I replied with a smirk. "Plus you have yet to cross your legs, or even try to bring them closer together."

"You mean like this?" she asked, crossing her ankles and doing a fair impression of sitting like a proper young lady.

I felt the tension of the day melting away. "Jess, you're awesome."

"I know. Care to join me?" " she asked, patting the bed beside her.

"Yeah, give me a minute to clean up some."

I gathered up my notes and stacked them neatly on my desk, a reminder they needed to be reviewed before class the next morning.